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Why your esthetic value is judged more in America than the rest of the world.

I was in the grocery store today and while standing by the check out counter, I noticed the ever present the stash of magazines with headshots of beautiful celebrities. I picked one up and flipped through the pages, coming to an article about an interview with a beauty pageant (Your typical blonde). I remember when asked what she preferred in a man, her response was something like “confidence and personality�. What a load of shit I said sotto vace. The truth is that Americans in general value appearance more than other qualities. Most people will rebuff this by telling you that it’s the same everywhere. Well, they really need to purchase a plane ticket and visit some other countries. So how did American develop this narcissistic attitude? The reason lies behind its broken culture.

The truth is that Americans live in an individualistic culture. From the day they’re born, their parents put them in their own room with their own bed and tell them they’re on their own. As they grow older, their parents tell them the importance of independence. They’re esteemed for being self autonomous. Often times, this self autonomy breeds arrogance and everyone thinks they’re better than those around them. Since America’s economy warrants almost everyone a house surrounded by a fence, Americans like being isolated and privacy becomes an innate right. They’re in their own little bubble and assure themselves that they’d rather be alone than with those who are “unworthy�. But in reality, they’re setting themselves up for isolation which breeds a host of diseases. This is why America is the only industrialized nation with more mentally ill than any other nation. So how does this all fit in with our obsession to beauty?

It all boils down to the years when they’re trying to “fit in�. Their brain tells them that they’re independent, smart and athletic and that everyone should want to be their friends. But in reality, everyone else feels the same way. Isolation has planted its roots so deep in them that meeting new people often becomes unnatural. Their heart is isolated, depressed and in conflict with their brain. Americans want to achieve that “perfect� look to inflate their ego and status so when they meet new people, they’ll have better chance of “fitting in�. As a result, they’re are constantly comparing themselves to those around them and spending their time/money mending their insecurities. Let’s face it. In America, it’s often weird to approach a stranger and start talking to them since you’re invading their fucking “privacy�. So naturally, Americans develop an innate tendency to sum people up by their looks without getting to know them. Because their heart is longing for companionship and interconnectedness, they feel the need to make themselves as esthetically appealing as possible in order to project confidence and “fit in�.

Most people are blinded by the word confidence because oftentimes it’s a shitty substitute for ego and arrogance. It’s a fact! When Americans visit foreign countries, they think of themselves as better but in contrast, the foreigners are simply modest since they are so emotionally and psychologically interconnected that they don’t feel the need to compare themselves to others. I go to school in California and we have a lot of foreign students and immigrants. There is an obvious difference in the way foreign students talk to you compared to those American-born. Foreigners speak with candor and you can almost weigh the sincerity in their voice. A lot of my engineering buddies are foreigners and even though many of them are single, loneliness is absent because they’re so interconnected and in harmony with their hearts.

Americans may have their 6 figure jobs, expensive make-ups and nice cars and judge people of poorer nations around the world. What they don't realize is that people in these nations are inharmony with what they have and they experience camaraderie and interconnectedness at a level Americans will never experience. God bless America! Hoorah! Red, White and Blue! I just felt like ranting. :|

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Yeah it does seem a lot of people in this country are shallow, I don't know about other countries becuase I've never been out of this one! Anyways I personally don't care what a person looks like! I have friends of all races, male or female, skinny or not skinny, different tastes in music or whatever. To me, if someone has morals and is a nice decent person I could be friends with them no matter what they look like. No one, even those people that fit the idea of what is beautiful is young and good looking forever. As far as relationships go a lot of people are shallow and will not date someone if they don't have perfect skin or the perfect body but fuck all those shallow people, who needs them any, I know I don't.

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you're speaking as if ALL Americans are like this. many other countries has people like this---not just Americans. i hate stereotyping!

Americans may have their 6 figure jobs, expensive make-ups and nice cars and judge people of poorer nations around the world.

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No its the same for all human beings. U can see beauty and everyone wants things that look nice. Does not matter where u are in the world everyone likes pretty things.

There are pretty people that are smart, funny and pretty. THats what everyone wants. no point in trying to confince yourself that somewhere people dont want that cause they do. I work out hard and have done a load to getr my skin looking nice. WOuld I exercise several times a week, not eat fatty foods, and spend an awful lot on my skin if that were not important?

I made myself the person I wanted to be physically so I could attract a mate that is attractive. I like my girlfriend she is very attractive and she thinks I am attractive.

There is a league that people date in. I dont date unattractive people because I am not unattractive. I could not be happy if I were not physically attracted to my mate and I could not be attracted to an unattractive women. Thats human nature not the states way of thinking.

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I dont date unattractive people because I am not unattractive. I could not be happy if I were not physically attracted to my mate and I could not be attracted to an unattractive women.

no offense, but thats a shitty thing to say.

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Guest No Pride

No its the same for all human beings. U can see beauty and everyone wants things that look nice. Does not matter where u are in the world everyone likes pretty things.

There are pretty people that are smart, funny and pretty. THats what everyone wants. no point in trying to confince yourself that somewhere people dont want that cause they do. I work out hard and have done a load to getr my skin looking nice. WOuld I exercise several times a week, not eat fatty foods, and spend an awful lot on my skin if that were not important?

I made myself the person I wanted to be physically so I could attract a mate that is attractive. I like my girlfriend she is very attractive and she thinks I am attractive.

There is a league that people date in. I dont date unattractive people because I am not unattractive. I could not be happy if I were not physically attracted to my mate and I could not be attracted to an unattractive women. Thats human nature not the states way of thinking.

First off, what is attractive in American culture may not be attractive elsewhere and vice versa. Its NOT the same for all human beings. Id MUCH rather have a rugged looking woman that I can get along with then a beautiful woman that I couldnt. Looks fade with time anyway. At 50, do you want to be left with a nagging bitchy controlling wife who was good looking when she was 20? Or a rugged looking chick that makes you laugh and feel loved at all times?

In my opinion individualism is a CURSE. Communalism is so much better for the mental health of human beings.

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Guest Sebastian_K

Well said.

Your post also fits with the thread i made.

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I dont date unattractive people because I am not unattractive. I could not be happy if I were not physically attracted to my mate and I could not be attracted to an unattractive women.

no offense, but thats a shitty thing to say.

Shitty? Thats the truth. I would not be happy with an unattractive mate. I would gladly be friends with anyone but I would have NO sexual attraction to an unattractive person. Yeah that would be a healthy relationship.

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No its the same for all human beings. U can see beauty and everyone wants things that look nice. Does not matter where u are in the world everyone likes pretty things.

There are pretty people that are smart, funny and pretty. THats what everyone wants. no point in trying to confince yourself that somewhere people dont want that cause they do. I work out hard and have done a load to getr my skin looking nice. WOuld I exercise several times a week, not eat fatty foods, and spend an awful lot on my skin if that were not important?

I made myself the person I wanted to be physically so I could attract a mate that is attractive. I like my girlfriend she is very attractive and she thinks I am attractive.

There is a league that people date in. I dont date unattractive people because I am not unattractive. I could not be happy if I were not physically attracted to my mate and I could not be attracted to an unattractive women. Thats human nature not the states way of thinking.

First off, what is attractive in American culture may not be attractive elsewhere and vice versa. Its NOT the same for all human beings. Id MUCH rather have a rugged looking woman that I can get along with then a beautiful woman that I couldnt. Looks fade with time anyway. At 50, do you want to be left with a nagging bitchy controlling wife who was good looking when she was 20? Or a rugged looking chick that makes you laugh and feel loved at all times?

In my opinion individualism is a CURSE. Communalism is so much better for the mental health of human beings.

So u gonna join a cult lmao. Beauty is universal. Some may have slight preferences but Jessica Alba, Faith Hill and Johnny Depp are attractive anywhere in the world.

And yeah theres a huge difference between a person that let themselves go at 20 when they hit 50 as opposed to someone that takes good care of themselves.

I would like to get along with my mate for sure. Shes my best friend. But if thats all I wanted then she would still only be my friend. Nothign wrong with that just no chemistry if the girl is fat or homely.

And I am individual down to my last hair. Why would I want to get along with a bunch of people in a commune? Thats not nice people getting together for the better of mankind those are very lonely desperate people that try to feel better by joining one of those groups.

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Shitty? Thats the truth. I would not be happy with an unattractive mate. I would gladly be friends with anyone but I would have NO sexual attraction to an unattractive person. Yeah that would be a healthy relationship.

so you're basing any relationship purely on physical attraction? isnt being "attractive" MORE then just physical beauty? like an attractive personality for instance....that reflects on a person and makes them someone to get to know.

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Shitty? Thats the truth. I would not be happy with an unattractive mate. I would gladly be friends with anyone but I would have NO sexual attraction to an unattractive person. Yeah that would be a healthy relationship.

so you're basing any relationship purely on physical attraction? isnt being "attractive" MORE then just physical beauty? like an attractive personality for instance....that reflects on a person and makes them someone to get to know.

yeah I really said that too. i said if u are a large or unattractive women I wouldnt date u. That leaves a ton of other women to date and hope for a good one. I dont have to settle so I dont. I like my girlfriend a lot and think shes just as nice as any other person I have ever met. Shes very attractive to me which was nice but surely not her best quality.

Theres a reason why large people date large people and homely people date homely people. I just would not be attracted to those people physically.

This is the real world not fairy tale land. It is silly to make believe that people dont notice how we all look physically. Its also silly to believe that Johnny Depp would date Rosie O when he could be dating Mandy Moore if he wanted to. Given Rosie is prob smarter and funnier than Mandy Moore which would we all choose? Hmmmm thats a tough one

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ya u know ...thats like ... one big generalization.......ya thats it ...mmm.....pez

in a jungle somewhere pomba was born and set out to be independent his popa expected him to hunt his first boar at the early age of 7 he needed scarafication at 12 so he can bag him a fine lady

:lol:

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ya u know ...thats like ... one big generalization.......ya thats it ...mmm.....pez

in a jungle somewhere pomba was born and set out to be independent his popa expected him to hunt his first boar at the early age of 7 he needed scarafication at 12 so he can bag him a fine lady

:lol:

U know where they preform that ritual many people are rescued from having such practices done. Obviously they dont think its too attractive either if they are running from it.

Its the same as female circumcision in Africa. Everyone knows its no good but they still do it anyway. Many of those girls are taken away from that before it can happen.

But whatever we all know we want someone nice to look at and nice to be with.

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Just wanted to say.......

Please keep it civil, guys! This is actually the longest streak of how good EMO has been! Let's make the rest of the board eat it when they say EMO is the harshest forum on the boards!!!

(and yes, my civic pride of loving EMO definatly has something to do with this!)

:P

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Its also silly to believe that Johnny Depp would date Rosie O when he could be dating Mandy Moore if he wanted to. Given Rosie is prob smarter and funnier than Mandy Moore which would we all choose? Hmmmm thats a tough one

.......were you trying to think of the "ugliest" woman you know?

Please keep it civil, guys!

i am civil :angel:

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Its also silly to believe that Johnny Depp would date Rosie O when he could be dating Mandy Moore if he wanted to. Given Rosie is prob smarter and funnier than Mandy Moore which would we all choose? Hmmmm thats a tough one

.......were you trying to think of the "ugliest" woman you know?

Please keep it civil, guys!

i am civil :angel:

No Rosie is not ugly at all. Obviously she is not gonna be someone u would ever see Johnny Depp with. your a girl would u pick Brad Pitt or Chris Farley?

Not all ugly or large people have winning personalities either. If I were large and unattractive I would go for those women because I was forced to not because I chose to. I am not at all fat or ungly so I dont.

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Guest No Pride

No its the same for all human beings. U can see beauty and everyone wants things that look nice. Does not matter where u are in the world everyone likes pretty things.

There are pretty people that are smart, funny and pretty. THats what everyone wants. no point in trying to confince yourself that somewhere people dont want that cause they do. I work out hard and have done a load to getr my skin looking nice. WOuld I exercise several times a week, not eat fatty foods, and spend an awful lot on my skin if that were not important?

I made myself the person I wanted to be physically so I could attract a mate that is attractive. I like my girlfriend she is very attractive and she thinks I am attractive.

There is a league that people date in. I dont date unattractive people because I am not unattractive. I could not be happy if I were not physically attracted to my mate and I could not be attracted to an unattractive women. Thats human nature not the states way of thinking.

First off, what is attractive in American culture may not be attractive elsewhere and vice versa. Its NOT the same for all human beings. Id MUCH rather have a rugged looking woman that I can get along with then a beautiful woman that I couldnt. Looks fade with time anyway. At 50, do you want to be left with a nagging bitchy controlling wife who was good looking when she was 20? Or a rugged looking chick that makes you laugh and feel loved at all times?

In my opinion individualism is a CURSE. Communalism is so much better for the mental health of human beings.

So u gonna join a cult lmao. Beauty is universal. Some may have slight preferences but Jessica Alba, Faith Hill and Johnny Depp are attractive anywhere in the world.

And yeah theres a huge difference between a person that let themselves go at 20 when they hit 50 as opposed to someone that takes good care of themselves.

I would like to get along with my mate for sure. Shes my best friend. But if thats all I wanted then she would still only be my friend. Nothign wrong with that just no chemistry if the girl is fat or homely.

And I am individual down to my last hair. Why would I want to get along with a bunch of people in a commune? Thats not nice people getting together for the better of mankind those are very lonely desperate people that try to feel better by joining one of those groups.

Oh you mean like how you feel better by joining acne.org? Or are you coming here for the betterment of people with acne and to share your thoughts and kind feelings to others with similar issues? Individualism has made people lonely and desperate so obviously communalism would be the way to go. Not everyone on acne.org is lonely and desperate and not everyone in a commune is lonely and desperate. Get it straight.

Secondly, Jessica Alba, Faith Hill and Johnny Depp would not be attractive everywhere in the world. Most places, yes, but certainly not all. A lot of cultures in the world find a heavy-set large man or woman to be attractive - many countries in Africa...Fiji etc. Beside that, however, most people you would find unattractive in America would be attractive in many places across the world. Having no physical or mental disabilities, diseases etc which are prevalent around the world, is attractive.

I think you've been too consumed by this culture and its competitive individualist attitude that you can only see through materialist lenses. Like I said, I can become attracted to a woman based on her personality and how well she takes care of herself. People can take care of themselves and still have acne. Does that mean ill push them aside when it comes to falling in love? no. Maybe set aside your arrogance and cockiness related to your belief that you are attractive and love others who had no choice in what genetics they were born with?

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I think you've been too consumed by this culture and its competitive individualist attitude that you can only see through materialist lenses.

yea i agree.

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beauty is in the eye of the beholder man. Theres hardly any UGLY people, some just take care of themselves more than others. Some beauty is universal though in most countries ie.. tom cruise, brad pitt etc..... Unless you're one of those people you shouldn't really be talking. Even then alot of their "hotness" comes from their status in our society.

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