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I went on a roadtrip with my friend this weekend and our goal was to find the most diviest motel we could find and stay there the night we go to this awesome concert! When we got to this hotel I ran inside to pee..now I have a very serious mirror phobia, there is no way in hell I can look directly in a mirror in shitty lighting without having my day or night totally ruined( generic sob story) When I was a kid I got attacked by a rottweiler and I have these pretty deep scars across both my cheeks so acne sort of ruined hope of an attractive face..though for some reason in the bathroom I couldn't help stare directly into the mirror when I walked in (because of the weed we just smoked) but I wondered to myself Is this the me that other people see? Do they see the deep scars and every clogged pore, black head, wrinkle, discolouration..or are we are own worse critic? Sometimes I think maybe it's not that bad but other times I am totally embarrased to look people in the eye..I constanly think everyone I walk past is gawking at me, even if I'm not looking at them. I can't help but be terrified and almost debilitated when out with friends or family, it's gotten to the point where people ask me why I am twitching or shaking haha god I know people can sense that I'm uneasy but there is nothing I can do to calm myself down..do I need to see someone to fix this for me, or is that a waste of time..give me some advice here, do other people think the same way?I don't want to feel this way anymore, scared of getting close to anyone

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well ive never seen you but i doubt anyone notices or really pays any attention. obviously your gonna notice more about yourself than anyone else. remember your looking for flaws where as no one else is

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I went on a roadtrip with my friend this weekend and our goal was to find the most diviest motel we could find and stay there the night we go to this awesome concert! When we got to this hotel I ran inside to pee..now I have a very serious mirror phobia, there is no way in hell I can look directly in a mirror in shitty lighting without having my day or night totally ruined( generic sob story) When I was a kid I got attacked by a rottweiler and I have these pretty deep scars across both my cheeks so acne sort of ruined hope of an attractive face..though for some reason in the bathroom I couldn't help stare directly into the mirror when I walked in (because of the weed we just smoked) but I wondered to myself Is this the me that other people see? Do they see the deep scars and every clogged pore, black head, wrinkle, discolouration..or are we are own worse critic? Sometimes I think maybe it's not that bad but other times I am totally embarrased to look people in the eye..I constanly think everyone I walk past is gawking at me, even if I'm not looking at them. I can't help but be terrified and almost debilitated when out with friends or family, it's gotten to the point where people ask me why I am twitching or shaking haha god I know people can sense that I'm uneasy but there is nothing I can do to calm myself down..do I need to see someone to fix this for me, or is that a waste of time..give me some advice here, do other people think the same way?I don't want to feel this way anymore, scared of getting close to anyone

I feel the same way. I avoid looking into mirrors because I know how bad I would feel afterwards. It's pretty stupid really but there's not much to do it seems.

I also imagine everybody is looking when I pass them on streets and so on. Most of the time I just try to ignore the feeling and look down or to the other side, but some times I can't help looking at people, and I notice them looking at me too. Then I start wondering "are they looking because my face is terrible?" but honestly I think people will always look at people when they pass them.. Heck that's what I do myself from time to time.

Also when I have to sit close to someone and talk to them in school for example, that's really a hell. I think most people just think I seem kind of shy, because I can't really focus on what we're really talking about without thinking "if he/she could only stop looking me in the eyes". It's the worst feeling in the world really.

That was my 5cents of misery for today

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I don't want to feel this way anymore, scared of getting close to anyone

me, outside looking in:

ayee420, I saw your gallery, you're fricking gorgeous.

you have a beautiful jawline and bone structure, great hair and colour, and a nose that people pay very expensive plastic surgeons to look like yours!

if people are gawking, it's cuz they either want to do you, or look more like you!

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Is bright natural sunlight just as bad as flourescent lighting? I get extremely down every morning when I have to go into the bathroom to brush my teeth/wash my face cause I can see everything with the flourescent lights. I just wonder if people can see everything when I am outside on a sunny day.

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i never ask because frankly i dont want to kno i like being lied to and if they are telling the truth then i wouldnt kno i loook nasty dood

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I don't want to feel this way anymore, scared of getting close to anyone

me, outside looking in:

ayee420, I saw your gallery, you're fricking gorgeous.

you have a beautiful jawline and bone structure, great hair and colour, and a nose that people pay very expensive plastic surgeons to look like yours!

if people are gawking, it's cuz they either want to do you, or look more like you!

i agree. i think you look great!

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yea, i feel just like you.. :confused: never knowing what to make out of my skin. i think i may be in denial. i try to avoid mirrors as well, and reassure myself that no one is scrutinizing my face as closely as i am.. but then again, ill have one of those days where i'll unintentionally catch a glimpse of my skin in a bad mirror and my entire perception of myself turns to shit. like magic. its at those times when i rEALLY quesiton what is reality or simply delusion.

thats also when the anxiety/paranoia will make its delightful comeback :shifty:

but as for you.. i have to agree w/the others.. you are stunning.. im sure ppl are too fixated on your beauty to take notice of nething else. for seriousss girl

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Wow those are amazing compliments, thank you guys tons!! I think what I've got are some serious acne and body dysmorphia issues that I need to deal with, it's pretty rediculous..I hate almost every single thing about myself physically..my legs, feet, stomach, hands, ears, teeth, the bags under my eyes..even down to the smallest fuckin things like the lines on my neck and the veins on my forearms..Ive also got this weird immune disorder where a nick or scratch(or zit) never properly heals and it stays on my body almost permanently so I have alot of scars not just on my face but all over my body..I try hard to be confident and I spend hours getting ready to go somewhere but am never happy with the end result and I just want to go home right away..its such a waste, I want to get help but I dont know how to ask for it. anyways theres my 15 minute rant, thanks again for the compliments, much appreciated ;)

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I seem to avoid mirrors these days apart from the morning and evening time. I used to check them nearly all the time, as soon as i got into work i'd check to make sure my face was the way it was when i left my house :lol: It was just to make sure my skin hadnt dried up or that spots weren't bleeding :sick: then every few hours i'd do the same again, now i just go through the whole day without looking unless my face is pretty clear.

I was really paranoid about my skin even though my family would tell me it was ok, i could barely look people in the eye and would try and turn away when talking, i do this occasionaly now. I think we all have a different outlook as to what other people see, before i got acne (age17) i never noticed any spots on people but i'm sure many classmates in school/college had acne. Now when i talk to people the first thing i look at is their skin, i've just started roaccutane (day 3) so hopefully all of my paranoi will go away with my acne :angel:

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IUNDERSTAND THAT HORRIBLE FEELING BECAUSE IAM SUUFERRING FROM DEEP ACNE SCARS AND PEOPLE ARE IMPOLITE ENOUGH TO REMIND YOU WITH YOUR PAIN.THEY ARE PAYING ATTENTION TO YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE NO MATTER HOW IS YOUR SPIRIT .

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The mirror at the bathroom in my workplace shows every tiny flaw, I often used to wonder if people see me this way or whether they see me the way my mirror at home makes me look but now I don't give a shit I am what I am.

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