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lol, dramatic title eh? no need for anyone to respond to this, i just gotta vent. anyways i think my life is going straight down the pan. for the past few months ive just been getting more and more depressed, i dont go out anymore with my friends, i cant even talk to people anymore. its sick. whenever theres someone round my house i clam up totally and just sit there like a zombie. ive got into a nasty frame of mind that im below everyone and that i havent the 'authority' or 'right' to talk to them, its like a heirachy thing. totally pathetic.

im totally paranoid when i walk down the street, i cant leave the house or do shopping without my mp3 with me. thats not a joke, its physically impossible. if i dont put myself into my music entirely while im out, i think everyone is staring at me, evaluating my apperance and i get panic attacks. ive even got time off of work because i cant serve customers anymore. i get to work and panic and have hot flushes and just cant handle going near anyone.

i think im totally destroyed and its mostly due to acne, not all of it, but its a huge factor. im disgusted with myself but i cant help it.

:hand:

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I'm with you on the MP3 player part. I usually just crank up my ipod when I have to go places so I can focus on the music and not sit there wondering if people are judging my skin.

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lol, dramatic title eh? no need for anyone to respond to this, i just gotta vent. anyways i think my life is going straight down the pan. for the past few months ive just been getting more and more depressed, i dont go out anymore with my friends, i cant even talk to people anymore. its sick. whenever theres someone round my house i clam up totally and just sit there like a zombie. ive got into a nasty frame of mind that im below everyone and that i havent the 'authority' or 'right' to talk to them, its like a heirachy thing. totally pathetic.

im totally paranoid when i walk down the street, i cant leave the house or do shopping without my mp3 with me. thats not a joke, its physically impossible. if i dont put myself into my music entirely while im out, i think everyone is staring at me, evaluating my apperance and i get panic attacks. ive even got time off of work because i cant serve customers anymore. i get to work and panic and have hot flushes and just cant handle going near anyone.

i think im totally destroyed and its mostly due to acne, not all of it, but its a huge factor. im disgusted with myself but i cant help it.

:hand:

I feel the exact same as you, I felt like you were describing me... It's really hard... Sometimes when I think I'm doing okay, I walk by a pretty girl who has perfect skin... and I feel like falling apart... thinking "why does she get to be so perfect??" I hate the way I have turned out... I used to be so happy and confident in myslef when I didnt have acne, then I turned 19, got acne and my life fell apart. It's been a downward spiral since then for me. Life is hard... it really sucks, why do we have to suffer like this?

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lol, dramatic title eh? no need for anyone to respond to this, i just gotta vent. anyways i think my life is going straight down the pan. for the past few months ive just been getting more and more depressed, i dont go out anymore with my friends, i cant even talk to people anymore. its sick. whenever theres someone round my house i clam up totally and just sit there like a zombie. ive got into a nasty frame of mind that im below everyone and that i havent the 'authority' or 'right' to talk to them, its like a heirachy thing. totally pathetic.

im totally paranoid when i walk down the street, i cant leave the house or do shopping without my mp3 with me. thats not a joke, its physically impossible. if i dont put myself into my music entirely while im out, i think everyone is staring at me, evaluating my apperance and i get panic attacks. ive even got time off of work because i cant serve customers anymore. i get to work and panic and have hot flushes and just cant handle going near anyone.

i think im totally destroyed and its mostly due to acne, not all of it, but its a huge factor. im disgusted with myself but i cant help it.

:hand:

I feel the exact same as you, I felt like you were describing me... It's really hard... Sometimes when I think I'm doing okay, I walk by a pretty girl who has perfect skin... and I feel like falling apart... thinking "why does she get to be so perfect??" I hate the way I have turned out... I used to be so happy and confident in myslef when I didnt have acne, then I turned 19, got acne and my life fell apart. It's been a downward spiral since then for me. Life is hard... it really sucks, why do we have to suffer like this?

It will get better, im sure your pretty =)

Wow I just realized I play the ipod alot also.. maybe for same reason lol

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i think im totally destroyed and its mostly due to acne, not all of it, but its a huge factor. im disgusted with myself but i cant help it.

you're not destroyed. you're going through a hard period in your life right now. it WILL get better. you aren't "below" anyone at all---please believe that you are worth it!

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Start viewing every waking second of life as a learning experience and a way to better yourself. Take a step back for a second - is it worth it to wonder how your skin looks 24/7 to the point that you might as well stay inside all day? NO! People don't think any less of you for having acne as most people go through the same thing as you (at one point or another). I look at it like a filter - anyone who will judge me over something materialistic that I can't control doesn't deserve to know me anyway. I know it's hard at time (sometimes I could take my own advice), but it's totally the right way to look at it. Keep in mind your acne looks twice as bad to you as it does to others.

Keep your head up, each day you waste thinking about acne is a day you could be improving.

At the very least if you refuse to leave the house, pick up an instrument and master it. By the time you've outgrown acne, you will be an excellent musician with clear skin.

Cheers :dance:

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we're talking about severe acne! not a few spots! not a bad outbreak! its not like evryone we see in the street has ever experienced acne like we have. ITS NOT EVEN OUR FAULTS and we still get this disfuguring disease. what the hell have we done to deserve all this? its bullshit!

i completely understand the hireachy thing. iv got a little better(partly cos i avoid being around "normal" ppl as much as possible). I always used to open the door for a "normal" person, a "normal" person always has the first right of way-ie i will move out the way for them, if they bang into me or scowl- thats okay because they're normal and im lower than them. i also feel like since coming back to school with proper acne that just *appeared* ppl are looking down on me more, such as teachers etc.

dont worry, one day, it'll go, and you can be a "normal" person too.

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we're talking about severe acne! not a few spots! not a bad outbreak! its not like evryone we see in the street has ever experienced acne like we have. ITS NOT EVEN OUR FAULTS and we still get this disfuguring disease. what the hell have we done to deserve all this? its bullshit!

i completely understand the hireachy thing. iv got a little better(partly cos i avoid being around "normal" ppl as much as possible). I always used to open the door for a "normal" person, a "normal" person always has the first right of way-ie i will move out the way for them, if they bang into me or scowl- thats okay because they're normal and im lower than them. i also feel like since coming back to school with proper acne that just *appeared* ppl are looking down on me more, such as teachers etc.

dont worry, one day, it'll go, and you can be a "normal" person too.

That's a perfect example of the kind of thinking you should avoid at all costs. How can you expect people to respect you if you don't even respect yourself?

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did something happen to make your anxiety go downhill in the last few months?

I think, you should nip it in the bud, because like you say, its a slippery slope and you can fall fast, but it takes twice as long to climb back up.

If you want to overcome this and be happy it will be hard work, but its worth it right?

good luck and get out there and face your fears.

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