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I feel like I did a big thing

Help me out here guys...I need some support. I have just gotten feeling better and regaining some self-confidence after having a scab/mark/scar for months..and just before that I had another one. Literally the day after I began feeling better a new one appears! And of course I'm terrible at controlling myself and it was an under the skin blackhead that was really swollen so of course its painful and I try and squeeze it to help it not hurt so much (you don't need to lecture me on this trust me...) and of course I end up making it 1000000 times worse. And to top it all off I"m going away this weekend with my boyfriend and his family to a cottage....I WAS really excited about going but now I can just imagine how I"ll feel...checking the mirror all the time to see if it's gotten any worse/better (yes I'm one of those who looks about every 5 minutes or less..maybe OCD...who knows). Anyway...yesterday I came home from work at lunch because I honestly coudln't be there. This morning I was crying and literally shaking I was so upset about being out in public. Now I was better about it this afternoon (I tried to ignore it and not feel as bad about it) and I managed to stay all day...and I feel like this is a huge deal. For me right now its a huge deal to just go outside. I"m just really depressed ...I was feeling so much better and now its like back at square one.

Anyway this is a really long and rambling/meaningless post...just wanted to share and maybe have other people comment on how they deal with this....

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it is definitly a big thing and you should be proud that you stayed the whole day.

i remember when i was going through a rough time I used to cut school non-stop, and one day I was leaving driving away and I got down the block.. and turned around.

and I told my therapist about it, and he said thats very very good, and it shows that youre improving.

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its not rambling and meaningless. just think of the calm relaxing time you will have at the cottage with your bf and his family. obviously hes your bf for a reason, he cares about you. just remember that you are a great girl! acne is just acne. try putting some ice on the inflammation, maybe the swelling will go down? dont irritate it if you can help it.

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That sounds just like how I've felt in the past...

It IS a big deal to stay all day at work when you're not mentally there. Remember that you did it this once, and you can do it every day...

I'm sure what's on your face is not the biggest deal to other people, especially those who love you.

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wow thank you everyone. I am proud that I stayed...I almost cried and it was tough but then I got better. I also talked ot my boyfriend about it and he is extremely supportive and always has been. He just says it'll go away and everything will be fine and he loves me no matter what. I just really wanted to be able to not stress out about my face when i was away...but I picked and its my own fault! Anyway i"m goign to try to be really good to it. Thanks for all the support !!

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Well it's Friday...my last day at work for the week, but I"m going away for the weekend. So not only do I have to find the courage to get through the whole day of work, I also have to go immediately after work and drive 4 hours to see my boyfriend. Then I'm going to a cottage with his family and two of our friends. I just hate being uncertain..I think my face is looking better but then you never know because sometimes you think that and the next time you look its way worse! And I already look a million times a day. Anyway I guess I won't get any replies to this because I'll be away...but I'm sure come Tuesday (its the long weekend) that I'll need some more encouragement! Thanks everyone for all your support, it is very much appreciated.

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