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Need Advice Please,especially from guys

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My acne

Hi everyone.I'm currently 17 and going to be 18 this year and have been having acne since i was 12-13 years old.All these years were torturous and I had to be an outcast for 4 years of my life till last year when I went to college and things started to get better because I was looking at myself in a more positive light,NOT because my acne has gotten any better.My acne has been on and off,and it's pretty moderate,with scarring almost all over my face and I have to say I'm really very very scared because scars dont go away.I have acne over scars now and my face is fully cleared from acne.My face is in a mess,with scars,redmarks and big big pimples,and sometimes 1-2 cysts(mostly at my chin).

Lost time can never be gained back and I feel hurt everytime I think of this very fact.The fact that I have lost my most wonderful teenage years,when I wasted my life away depressing and cutting myself and basically doing nothing else at all.I'm glad I have friends around,and I just feel inferior 'cos my social circle is not as wide as them.People have said I looked pretty but I guess that's when last year when my skin was more clear.This year,my skin is more horrible and my face has been oily for all these years and I have to depend on oil blotter sheets all the time.In short,my face is distorted from scars especially.Ice-pick scars I think.From nose to cheeks.I feel very self-conscious and depressed all the time cos of my face.

Confession

Liked this guy for around half a year before I confessed to him.I knew him last year from an activity in school which lasted 2 weeks and after that,I still keep in touch with him via msn chat.I see him around school not so often and basically we were just very very normal friends who talk very little to each other before I confessed.My friends around me knew I liked him and a month before,I couldn't take it anymore and I just wrote him a letter and asked a guy friend to pass it to him on the last day of school before the holidays(a one-month holiday).All I wanted was to get rid of him in my mind and I really wanted an answer.It was the most daring thing I have done in my life and I have never ever confessed to anyone before due to my shyt-up face.I thought my face was ok and I thought that I could at least clear up a bit during the holidays and I felt so hurt hiding my feelings for him and so I decided to confess.

He was quite a stupid asshole.He only read the letter a day later because he forgot!(lame).He didn't reject totally or what,but his reply was that we two should get to know each other better first.Such an ambiguous reply,I didn't know what to do.Well,during the first week of June,we messaged each other via the mobile phone A LOT everyday and I was thrilled because it seemed like he was interested in knowing me.We had wanted to date on a Friday on Week 2(we were busy during holidays and could hardly find any days when both of us were free).I agreed but later found out that I had to go and scan my tummy(a check-up) and so I put off the date.(how sad)Gradually,we messaged each other on the phone lesser and lesser and in Week 3,no messages were exchanged.

Holidays have ended and it's school now.My face was horrible during the holidays.I didn't know what happened!I broke out in areas which were relatively clear before and because of this,I have declined to meet him up to study,especially during Week 3 of the holidays when my face was totally hideous.On the last week of the holiday,Week 4,I decided to meet him out after putting on only liquid foundation on my face(I'm clueless with regards to makeup) to study in the library as school was starting and exams were coming.I don't know why,I just feel that he doesn't like me and that the feeling wasn't as sweet as in Week 1 when we really exchanged lots of messages on the phone.

So far,I have called him a few times on the phone to consult him on maths questions and we chatted a bit besides those maths questions.I feel that he doesn't like me and just wants to remain as friends.I don't know.I feel so shyt up now firstly of my acne,and now that stupid me!I have confessed to him and he knows of my feelings,I have to worry constantly how I look in front of him whenever I bump into him in school.My thoughts are always the same:Please God,don't let him meet me in school cos my face is like freaking ugly and oily and scarred(I don't put any makeup on at all in school,even when I first knew him till I confessed).

So guys..what do you think of this?I really dont see any signs from him,and I'm disappointed.I wish he could have just rejected me directly last time instead of giving me such an ambiguous answer.It's like he had planted hopes in me,but yet now everything is so unclear.Perhaps he wanted to give both of us a chance to know each other and see whether he would fall for me.My personality isn't that great I think and I think after all these interactions,I think he isn't interested in me.Sigh.I have neither looks nor personality.I feel so shyt up now confessing to a guy!!I can't believe myself.And I wish I am clear so that I won't feel so depressed everyday.I got a major exam at the end of this year to tackle which determines my path to university.I'm growing up each day,and my acne isn't getting better and scars are scars.Forever there.

Guys..what do you think I should do next to this guy?I don't dare to make any more moves because I'm ugly and I'm afraid he would think I'm a flirt or what.Even when we exchanged messages,I don't even dare to put words such as 'hugs' or whatsover :/ We were like friends,special friends maybe.His tone on the phone was normal and not shy or anything at all.All in all,I dont see any initiative from him.I dunno what to do now.HELP PLEASE.

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I read that whole post, but for some reason, all it did was make me feel old.

Anyways, seems like you guys are stalled. You could always try throwing yourself at him. That would give you a definitive answer which seems to be what you're after.

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Hey thanks for reading my whole longgg post! (: but I don't wanna throw myself at him,because I have my own principles too.I wouldnt want him to like me by throwing myself at him. :/ sigh i don't know what to do.since i'm the one liking him,should i make the next move or wait for him.it's quite stupid yea.sigh :(

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Honestly it seems his inital reply and subsequent actions indicate he is probably not interested. Unless you know him as rather shy, then this would be my opinion.

I know i've said to girls before 'lets get to know each other better', when my only interest in them was as a friend. It's hard to directly turn someone down, because you don't want to hurt their feelings and if you're already friends you want to maintain that.

If you want to hear it from him the only way to get a definite answer is to either ask him directly, or do what shoots said and throw yourself at him. My advice though would be to try and only think of him as a friend from now on because it appears he is not interested in you as a girlfriend. Sorry.

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As others said, asking him directly could make you clear the doubt, or he could also give you another ambiguous response that will keep haunting you. Maybe checking for body language could be another thing, but that could require some skill to do and studying math together in the library won't really turn him on in a way that it will cause his body to give signals.

Don't feel bad about confessing. I think that takes some guts and it may actually make you proud even if the result wasn't what was desired (I did it once last year with my biggest crush). The awkwardness could go away if both of you can help bring the friendliness back, but probably not completely. Sadly, I am mostly sure that he is not interested in you based on what you've told me.

Be strong about the rest, it's not easy, but I am sure you'll pull it off ok. Remember that I'm there for you.

Love.: Your friend, Hernan.

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Some people maybe too worry about their acne (i was off of accutane a month ago and freaked out when i saw a pimple so i can understand your pain). IF it is possible please post a pic cuz i myself saw a girl with mild-moderate acne but she was stunning, maybe the guy is shy or just really want to find out more about you before going in a relationship.

I too agree that since u like him so much, ask him for a accurate answer, don't waste time and *tears*. Easier said then to be done but oh well, no other way right ..

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Some people maybe too worry about their acne (i was off of accutane a month ago and freaked out when i saw a pimple so i can understand your pain). IF it is possible please post a pic cuz i myself saw a girl with mild-moderate acne but she was stunning, maybe the guy is shy or just really want to find out more about you before going in a relationship.

I too agree that since u like him so much, ask him for a accurate answer, don't waste time and *tears*. Easier said then to be done but oh well, no other way right ..

yea.he's a shy guy.i know this cos previously he told me he liked this girl but he dont even dare to say hi to her whenever they walked past each other,even though they know the existence of each other and message each other occassionally on the mobile phone.but the problem is he isn't shy when he talks to me on the phone,and when i went out with him,i dont even dare to make eye contact with him. :/

below is a pic of me.but u cant see the acne and scars and redmarks cos it's taken so far awae

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I see some on your chin and cheek, not bad, and you are a cute girl. I seriously would date you so don't worry about him rejecting you because of acne, unless he's the type that goes for perfection !!

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I don't think it was wise to write him a letter confessing your biggest insecurity, because you barely know the guy. Now that he's aware of it,

you constantly worry how you look in front of him whenever you bump into him in school. Your thoughts are always the same: "Please God, don't let him meet me in school 'cause my face is like freaking ugly and oily and scarred."
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I don't think it was wise to write him a letter confessing your biggest insecurity, because you barely know the guy. Now that he's aware of it,

you constantly worry how you look in front of him whenever you bump into him in school. Your thoughts are always the same: "Please God, don't let him meet me in school 'cause my face is like freaking ugly and oily and scarred."
It probably turned him off even more, and killed whatever chances you have with him. And like Animal said, he doesn't appear to be interested. Sorry.

why do you need to confess to him?

this is ur personal medical history and it is privileged. you are not going to end up dating him or even having a serious relationship. but if you do get to that point where it is SERIOUS. THEN YOU CAN "CONFESS" otherwise you're setting urself up to have him be weirded out, never talk to you again, and go around telling everyone your acne problems.

I spent years thinking i needed to immediately confess about my acne obsession or that i dont talk to my mother, but whenever i did it either turned the girl off or she said something insensitive or dismissive like "you dont have acne" or "you only have one mother."

it's just human nature. people blow offother peoples problems. only expect him to understand in a caring way UNLESS you are actually in a relationship and it is serious. otherwise you have to bite the bullet and see if he likes you for your personality, appearance, etc. even if you had no acne this is the basis for most relationships. superficial, yes.

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There are several possibilities... it does sound like he's not interested I'm afraid....maybe he is with someone else or wants to be with someone else?

Or it could be that he is in fact interested, but there's something else holding him back... I know I personally tend to lose my nerve when the heat is turned up and I kind of distance myself from someone :( If he's low in confidence that could be a possibility

Hmmm why does life have to be so complicated.....

Anyway, fair play to you for making your feelings known to him. Wish there were more girls around like that!!!! :)

maybe a letter wasn't the best idea, you could have dropped a hint or something. But anything has to be better than just keeping it all under wraps and enduring the suffering and eventual regret of never knowing what might have been

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he's not interested

guys are simple creatures breakaway. His ambiguity and lackadaisical attitude towards you likely means he liked you as a friend, and had moderate enough interest in you to give you a chance.

But how you keep saying hes not gonna like you as a flirt, or hes not interested, it's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Youve confessed to him, and shown youre interest, and he didnt say no, this is very good. All you need to do now is to start wearing make-up, wear your hair nice, or differently, get it done, buy new nice trendy clothes.

And than there's the difficult balance that will steal a guy's heart. You need to completely ignore his existance sometimes, dont look at him in the hallway, be late in replying to a text message. BUT when you talk him be as cute and flirty as you possibly can. The more unnatural and uncomfortable it feels to you the more likely youre doing it right.

lol, basically be very self-confident and let it be shown to him.

If you really want to see him, and I think you should

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Sounds like he just wants to be friends. If your guy's anything like me, your best bet is to ask him directly about how he feels towards you, while being prepared for an "I just want to be friends response. Then stay friends, give him some time, and see what happens ;)

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O yea it's long post... but it's very descriptive.

In my opinion, he isnt interested in you that way. I think he only wants to be friends, but doesnt know how to reject you. Either that or he isnt sure of his own feelings.

My advise: confront him and ask him directly. Not the best advise, but it works ;S

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breakaway, you must be only 17?18?

By your picture I can say you are not an ugly girl at all. Skin is only a part of the many factors we use to define beauty, but it is not 100%.

I am almost a decade older than you, so I can offer some advice when it comes to men. When asked what guys find attractive in girls, most of them will likely say looks, but deep down, honesty now, everyone ages, when people get older, looks are not the main factor in determining whether 2 people are compatible. Personality and how two people get along makes up 99% of a relationship.

Actually I have been through what you've been through. I have had acne for over 10 years from my mid-teens. I have pigmented scars (I'm asian like you) all over. I do not go out a day without make up.

I just recently moved out (I'm getting married in 3 weeks) and living with my fiance. For the first time in almost 7 or 8 years together, I actually went completely make-up less when I'm with him. And I had the worst breakout of my life a few weeks back (like 5 cysts on my face). Needless to say I was very self conscious when I'm with him.

But honestly our relationship is best it's ever been. And he sees my acne, and my million of scars, but he still loves me for who I am because that's what a relationship is about.

So my advice to you. Love yourself, and find someone who loves you for who you are. Stay confident in yourself and believe you are beautiful because you are. Eventually, you will see your confidence to outshine any other girl with flawless skin. Yes guys like girls with the looks, but they LOVE girls with confidence.

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i think u know the answer and just forget him. If a guy is interested, h will let u know. girls, dont chase guys because its not natural...u can be good to him and ask him out sometimes but i think guys actually like to pursue. so just do your own thing and 1 day i promise u will find someone who will be after u and not the other way around.

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If he doesn't show interest, I think you should move on. It's part of life, it's happened to me too ... once without noticeable acne.

The person you deserve is someone who loves you because of who you are and doesn't really see the imperfections. Dane nailed it and I'm just repeated what that person said.

It's not easy, but once you also look past the imperfections, you'll find that you would love yourself and not call yourself ugly anymore. You are not ugly. I've seen prettier pictures of you and I can honestly say you're better looking than most of the girls I've dated.Try not to see yourself as lesser because you have acne. I find you a beautiful, funny, and adorable girl.

The key to succeed is not to be awkward because you got a breakout and show yourself to be confident. It's not just guys who have to be confident in order to be charming ... it's for both genders.

I'll help you see yourself as a great person, since I see you like that.

Bye

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I don't think it was wise to write him a letter confessing your biggest insecurity, because you barely know the guy. Now that he's aware of it,

you constantly worry how you look in front of him whenever you bump into him in school. Your thoughts are always the same: "Please God, don't let him meet me in school 'cause my face is like freaking ugly and oily and scarred."
It probably turned him off even more, and killed whatever chances you have with him. And like Animal said, he doesn't appear to be interested. Sorry.

I don't think it was wise to write him a letter confessing your biggest insecurity, because you barely know the guy. Now that he's aware of it,

you constantly worry how you look in front of him whenever you bump into him in school. Your thoughts are always the same: "Please God, don't let him meet me in school 'cause my face is like freaking ugly and oily and scarred."
It probably turned him off even more, and killed whatever chances you have with him. And like Animal said, he doesn't appear to be interested. Sorry.

why do you need to confess to him?

this is ur personal medical history and it is privileged. you are not going to end up dating him or even having a serious relationship. but if you do get to that point where it is SERIOUS. THEN YOU CAN "CONFESS" otherwise you're setting urself up to have him be weirded out, never talk to you again, and go around telling everyone your acne problems.

I spent years thinking i needed to immediately confess about my acne obsession or that i dont talk to my mother, but whenever i did it either turned the girl off or she said something insensitive or dismissive like "you dont have acne" or "you only have one mother."

it's just human nature. people blow offother peoples problems. only expect him to understand in a caring way UNLESS you are actually in a relationship and it is serious. otherwise you have to bite the bullet and see if he likes you for your personality, appearance, etc. even if you had no acne this is the basis for most relationships. superficial, yes.

err..i think you guys got it wrong.i didnt confess my acne problem to him?i meant i am constantly worrying now about bumping into him in school now that i have confessed my feelings.becoming more self-concious of how i look to him.yep

honestly i think he just wants you too keep liking him but in reality he just wants to be freinds

yea i think so too ): but asshole!he is like giving me false hopes with those texts and everything.maybe he got turned off by me after texting.or maybe he just got tired.

Sounds like he just wants to be friends. If your guy's anything like me, your best bet is to ask him directly about how he feels towards you, while being prepared for an "I just want to be friends response. Then stay friends, give him some time, and see what happens ;)

yea feel like asking him this question soon.soon.let's see whether i will have the courage :/

i think u know the answer and just forget him. If a guy is interested, h will let u know. girls, dont chase guys because its not natural...u can be good to him and ask him out sometimes but i think guys actually like to pursue. so just do your own thing and 1 day i promise u will find someone who will be after u and not the other way around.

thanks for your response!yep.i agree.it's SO HARD for girls to chase guys.moreover i'm not like a pretty girl with clear skin or what,which is like doubly difficult.i'm so self concious etc and my face keeps breaking out im going mad. ): i guess i shall wait for the right one to come along and get on well with this 'rejection'. ): but i think me and him will still remain friends,which is good.nvm,this is part of life;at least i had the courage to proclaim my liking for him and i dont think i will have any regrets.maybe i will feel shitty and embarrassed when i bump into him but yea,what can i do?thanks people for your advices!

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I don't think it was wise to write him a letter confessing your biggest insecurity, because you barely know the guy. Now that he's aware of it,

you constantly worry how you look in front of him whenever you bump into him in school. Your thoughts are always the same: "Please God, don't let him meet me in school 'cause my face is like freaking ugly and oily and scarred."
It probably turned him off even more, and killed whatever chances you have with him. And like Animal said, he doesn't appear to be interested. Sorry.

I don't think it was wise to write him a letter confessing your biggest insecurity, because you barely know the guy. Now that he's aware of it,

you constantly worry how you look in front of him whenever you bump into him in school. Your thoughts are always the same: "Please God, don't let him meet me in school 'cause my face is like freaking ugly and oily and scarred."
It probably turned him off even more, and killed whatever chances you have with him. And like Animal said, he doesn't appear to be interested. Sorry.

why do you need to confess to him?

this is ur personal medical history and it is privileged. you are not going to end up dating him or even having a serious relationship. but if you do get to that point where it is SERIOUS. THEN YOU CAN "CONFESS" otherwise you're setting urself up to have him be weirded out, never talk to you again, and go around telling everyone your acne problems.

I spent years thinking i needed to immediately confess about my acne obsession or that i dont talk to my mother, but whenever i did it either turned the girl off or she said something insensitive or dismissive like "you dont have acne" or "you only have one mother."

it's just human nature. people blow offother peoples problems. only expect him to understand in a caring way UNLESS you are actually in a relationship and it is serious. otherwise you have to bite the bullet and see if he likes you for your personality, appearance, etc. even if you had no acne this is the basis for most relationships. superficial, yes.

err..i think you guys got it wrong.i didnt confess my acne problem to him?i meant i am constantly worrying now about bumping into him in school now that i have confessed my feelings.becoming more self-concious of how i look to him.yep

honestly i think he just wants you too keep liking him but in reality he just wants to be freinds

yea i think so too ): but asshole!he is like giving me false hopes with those texts and everything.maybe he got turned off by me after texting.or maybe he just got tired.

Sounds like he just wants to be friends. If your guy's anything like me, your best bet is to ask him directly about how he feels towards you, while being prepared for an "I just want to be friends response. Then stay friends, give him some time, and see what happens ;)

yea feel like asking him this question soon.soon.let's see whether i will have the courage :/

i think u know the answer and just forget him. If a guy is interested, h will let u know. girls, dont chase guys because its not natural...u can be good to him and ask him out sometimes but i think guys actually like to pursue. so just do your own thing and 1 day i promise u will find someone who will be after u and not the other way around.

thanks for your response!yep.i agree.it's SO HARD for girls to chase guys.moreover i'm not like a pretty girl with clear skin or what,which is like doubly difficult.i'm so self concious etc and my face keeps breaking out im going mad. ): i guess i shall wait for the right one to come along and get on well with this 'rejection'. ): but i think me and him will still remain friends,which is good.nvm,this is part of life;at least i had the courage to proclaim my liking for him and i dont think i will have any regrets.maybe i will feel shitty and embarrassed when i bump into him but yea,what can i do?thanks people for your advices!

btw, I've always admired girls who go after what they want :wub: Even if you don't get this guy, I'm sure you'll find someone (better, smarter, macho-er, etc) with your attitude ;)

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btw, I've always admired girls who go after what they want :wub: Even if you don't get this guy, I'm sure you'll find someone (better, smarter, macho-er, etc) with your attitude ;)

thanks.it's a great feeling to hear that guys actually admire girls who go after what they want (: im just afraid to go after him now.so i dont know what to do

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