Oh where do I start? I have been battling acne since as long as I can remember. In high school I have the teenage acne, all over my T-zone, as soon as college approached it turned into hormonal acne and started creeping from my forehead and cheeks to my jawline and under my cheek bones. I wish I could have journal-ed more so I could keep a better track on triggers or things that helped. I went on BC for the first time when I was 20, it took a while but it helped. I had been put on EVERYTHING before that, any type of antibacterial, topical, regime, etc. I ended up being allergic to almost all of the antibiotics, tetracycline give me the worst hives outbreak ever. I no longer even attempt antibacterials, which make since because I believe my issue is hormonal.

Now I am 28, and for the past 3 years had been on a consistent birth control, Loestrin 24 fe. I was completely clear other than the minor breakout from time to time. My old acne scars were almost completely gone, I could feel confident without make up and life was honkey dory. Well until 2 months ago.... I stopped taking birth control because I no longer wanted to be reliant on it and thought if I ever wanted to have a baby, I would need to come off. BAD IDEA. The first 2 months off of it were fine, I thought, whew.. I guess my acne was under control even without BC. I was wrong... it came back with vengeance the 3rd month. I woke up Christmas Eve with small under the skin nodules all up and down my jawline even some on my forhead, where my forehead had always been clear. Soon they started to break through into large cystic acne. I bought Proactiv and Illumask and everything under the freakin' OTC sun but nothing helped. Finally, I went into my Doc (regular doc because my derm cant see me until March ) She put me on Ortho Cyclen (not lo, or tri, just regular) and I have now been on that for 3 weeks and seeing minimal improvement. The forehead acne has cleared up but the jawline cystic acne is worse than ever. Im hoping its from my system trying to regulate these new hormones from the BC. I did also start taking a daily womens vitamin, evening primrose and flax seed oil x2 a day. This may have helped with the forehead acne as well, I am not sure. I had left over prescription Aczone and Retin -A .25% from previous years but neither seem to be making a dent.

Im so incredibly depressed. My clear skin that had taken years to clear up hyperpigmentation/post acne scarring is all back now with the cystic hormonal acne on top of it. I'm at my wits end. I used to be social and now I come home from work and go straight to my room, where I lie in my bed for hours. I dont want anyone to see me. I recently started dating a great guy a month before the break out and now I hate getting together for dinner or movies with him cause I just want to hide the whole time. I should probably just come out and explain what has happened but it's still a new relationship.

I will say the only thing that has helped is finding this forum. Knowing Im not alone helps. I can not thank everyone out there enough for their stories and advice. If I've learned anything, its that everyones acne is different at the cause but the way it makes us feel is very similar. I think about it all day, I have lost 6lbs in the past 2 months because Im too sad to eat.

I really hope the Ortho Cyclen starts to help soon. Has anyone had any luck with this BC? Any comments at all will be appreciated since this is my first post.

Furthermost, I want everyone out there suffering to know that they are beautiful. Acne does not define you. Try to smile everyday and be happy that you are above ground. Prayer to each and everyone of you.. I hope you can find some answers and peace overtime. <3