Sorry for the long story but I was wondering if anyone can offer any advice. I'm fed up and feel stuck as to what to do next.

My skin has been riddled with acne for 6 years (suddenly hit me in my 20s) and my confidence took a huge hit, more noticeably in the last 3 years where sometimes I might even stay in just because I don't want anyone seeing me on a particularly bad skin day. My work has taken a hit (I was in the entertainment world so good skin was a plus)and also personal life (I've avoided relationships because I'm too conscious about my skin)

I decided to go to via the NHS to sort it out. They put me on 3 different treatments over the years to no prevail and finally I was referred to a dermatologist. I waited 3 months before my appointment and the day before, I had a phone call telling me the dermatologists clinic has suddenly closed permanentlyand they would have to make me another appointment but it would be another 3 months wait. At that point I decided it would be quicker to bite the bullet and go private. I had insurance I've been paying so even though each appointment would be 200, Iwas lucky enough to have that cover me and hoped it would speed the process up. I also thought going that route I'd be sure to get a great dermatologistto help me out.

In September I was offered a private doctor in my area and got an appointment right away. On the initial meeting I had high hopes for a proper skin analysis, maybe I'd get some light from a proper dermatologist but he looked at my skin very briefly, told me it wasn't 'bad enough' for roaccutane straight away (I had a lot of make up on to cover it and said I would take it off to show him or show him photos on my phone but he wasn't interested)insteadhe would try me on another medication & cream I hadn't tried then we could re-assess the situation 3 months down the line... He gave me a big booklet on roaccutane so I could have a read and understand the side-affects if I were to go on it.

After 3 months there was no change but I was away visiting my parents in another country, so went back in February to visit him and it was another brief, not very informative visit. He told me I should have come back to him earlier so he could have assessed it but because I hadn't it was hard to see what to do. I understood thatbut my skin was still very bad regardless. I started getting teary as I was just s little frustrated after all these years that still nothing is working. He then simply asked 'did you read the leaflet I gave you last time' - I said 'yes', he asked what I thought, I said 'I've done a lot of research in to it and I understand the side-affects', he asked if I'm ever 'down or have moodswings' I said no, I have no medical history of depression or feeling down. He said 'OK so why don't we give roaccutane a go then. What I need you to do is start taking the pill do go to your local doctor and get out on that immediately, I will get ablood test arranged next week for you. And if the results come back fine, I'll put you on roaccutane' I felt suddenly this was it! My light at the end of the tunnel was coming and a felt a big weight start to be lifted. Phew! (Or so I thought..)

I did the blood test, the results were fine. I got prescribed the pill from my doctor and I went back yesterday for him to finally prescribe me.

I walked in to the appointment, he asked how my skin was. It's actually worse than ever now. He then started rambling about how he last saw me in September & I hadn't come back to see him. I told him I saw him in Feb, he made me go on the pill and get a blood test for clearance to prescribe me roaccutane, he fumbled through his paperwork and realised that was the case. He then said 'well you should have taken the medication longer' I said 'I came to you in Feb and you never offered me a longer prescription, you simply said it was time for roaccutane', I got a little teary again as I saw my confidence dropping even more again and the realisation I might have to try yet another her form of medication and waste another 3-6 months of my life 'waiting to see results'.

He then sat back in his chair realising he'd made a bit of a mess of things and said 'I don't think you should go on it. I'm sorry' I asked why he suddenly changed his mind, he said 'you obviously have mood swings, you're crying. This is a powerful drug. I don't want you to do anything silly on it' I said 'I was crying because my confidence is gone, it's been 5 years trying different things, I was led to believe one thing and I'm now being told something else and I'm just a bit fed up' I told him to check my medical history to see I have no signs of depression or anything indicating bad moods. I asked him 'is it because I'm come in here and cried?' And he smirked and said 'Yes'. I understand roaccutane is a hardcore drug and can mess with your emotions but I didn't find that a legitimate reason not to be put on it. I felt he was just trying to get me out of the door and not have to deal with me since he made a bit of a cock-up on my paperwork. I told him i got teary in my last appointment yet he made me get prescribed the pill ready to go on roaccutane and have the blood test to get clearance. He didn't have anything to say back. I was also wearing black yesterday so maybe he threw me in a stereotype 'she's depressed because she's wearing black and crying right now' box.

He then told me it was out of his hands and he would pass me on to someone else. He gave me the name of a doctor he knew but told the receptionist when I came out 'I want to be in the appointment with them' ? So I have an appointment with someone else next week but only if he's in the room too?! I don't really understand why that is/if I should ask to go alone.

My insurance case closed just before that final appointment with him and his very polite secutary told me that she would offer my final appointment with himfree just so I could get the medication from him then switch back to the NHS (maybe he saw this in the paperwork and that's why he suddenly changed his mind)

I feel my whole insurance claim was a waste and my insurance isn't offering to help with another case so soon. I just feel totally at a loss as to what to do at this stage and the stress is making my skin worse than it ever has been.

I worry if this other guy (who's apparently one of the heads he knows ofdermatology in the area) says no as maybe he's been somehow influenced by this doctor I have now, I might be blackballed and won't get it at all or if I get another dermatologist they will put me on yet more medication and I have to go through even more months of waiting. I also don't know if I would need to pay since he's personally passed me on to someone else. I didn't ask 'well can you give me someone else' he just did it there and then.

Anyway, any advice would be most appreciated, not sure what to do next.

Thank you!