** THIS IS RELATIVELY LONG BUT I HOPE YOU'LL READ IT ! THIS IS WHAT HELPED ME *

I've had an interesting experience with acne . There's been so many circumstances where whether it be a topical or diet that i've used which had temporarily seemed to work , would seemingly cease to be effective after X amount of time. I'd like to a go a little deeper here. .

This may be stating the obvious . I'm very much starting to think acne may be more a reflection of your "mental state". Before you call bullshit please keep reading , i'm not saying it's a self-fulfilling prophecy like the movie " The secret" ( well maybe in a way ) and i've looked up and found quite a few really cool things about this . Real quick I'll give a brief history and experience of things that have happened that motivated me to do some research on what the rest of this post will be about.

Just to throw it out there , i'm 22 now . All throughout highschool I had BADASS skin , i remember to this day that in 9th grade on the lunchline , this girl had complemented my skin and told me how nice it looked . All my friends had broken out from mild to severe , and I thought I won the genetic jack pot and ecscaped this devious mother f*cker I call acne .So time goes on, and by senior year I have a serious addiction to oxycontin , and eventually to IV heroin . ( Of which i'm now clean and am an active member of a 12 step fellowship !) How this relates ? I believe this does , indirectly , and is a part of this " theory " i have .

Due to my addiction , I ended up flunking my first semester of college , losing my job , negative bank account , destroyed every relationship I had and got myself kicked out of my house to live in a homeless shelter in Queens . I've always been known for my notoriously amazing decision making abilities

Now with this lifestyle , the one common denominator ... STRESS.. AND LOTS OF IT . *coughCORTISOLcough*

I spent a massive amount of time "dope sick " aka withdrawing , absolutely depressed , anxious to barely being able to hold a conversation , and even being aware of this funny thing called the " present moment. During my early use , My skin was still flawless , and as my addiction progressed , so did my anxiety and stress , as well as my acne along with it.

I had tried EVERY OTC TOPICAL to home made " in your kitchen cabinet remedies" and diet change you could think off .. seriously.

Time goes on and I'm miserable , I overdose at 20 years old , had enough with addiction and nearly dieing , I called a rehab and got my ass down to Florida. A part of me was hoping it was the drugs directly that caused my acne , but no . Once getting clean I broke out worse than EVER , all from my temple down along my jaw , it was like a crescent moon along both sides of my face

HOW COULD THIS BE !?

**Theory** : There have been many different times where I would be using say .. epiduo , which had my skin clear up to almost perfect. Then I would have a location change , whilst keeping the same regimen , yet I would still break out horribly. WHY!? I DIDNT CHANGE ANYTHING !? Well,Ask any addict , getting clean from your "safety blanket" which was the only thing that helped you feel like you could cope with the world , is the scariest , most uncomfortable stress inducing endeavor one could put themselves through I promise ..hence this idea that CORTISOL and other androgenic type hormones may be behind my acne flare ups . This is the same reason I think that times my face was relatively clear , I would have one pimple come up , and freak out I was going to go into another full on out break . Which may have been the case , but only because I was obsessing and STRESSING out about it . It almost seems a bit paradoxical , because the reason you may break out might not be the dairy , for example , but the stress hormones your body releases because you're PARANOID and ANXIOUS that the dairy you ate might make you break out.

Interesting read on cortisol.

http://www.scq.ubc.ca/stress-cortisol-and-the-immune-system-what-makes-us-get-sick/

Quoted from above link " As mentioned earlier, stress is thought to have an immunosuppressive impact on the immune system, mediated through cortisol. Thus, if someone is subjected to a certain stressor, their immune system would be temporarily œshocked, and pathogens would have a relatively easier time entering and proliferating (growing) within the body."

What I took from this , is cortisol , a product of stress , weakens your immune system , which if you didn't know , FIGHTS BACTERIA which causes...ACNE ? AHA !

One more link .. http://www.sciencedaily.com/videos/2008/0411-science_of_stress.html

Quoted from above link " Dermatologists know that stress can cause hair to fall out, acne to break out, and many other problems. These manifestations of stress can cause even more anxiety. Stress causes cortisol levels to increase within the body, which increases oil production, which causes acne breakouts. Getting more exercise, obtaining proper rest, and caring for skin are three basic steps to counteract these problems"

So now this diabolical intruder cortisol Increases your oil production , whilst lowering your bodies ability to fight bacteria ?

It all began to make sense . the times I had clear skin , were during stress free times while I was living in a sober house in florida by the beach , working at a job i loved , going out with friends , hooking up with girls , and overall ENJOYING LIFE . Then I would for example , RELAPSE ,throw myself into a state of guilt , self pity , anxiety and depression then lo and behold! I would break out . It's so easy to attribute clearing of acne to your regimen , or a breakout to the pizza you ate last night , or the milk you had in your cereal . If you ask yourself a question , your mind WILL come up with an answer , and believe it. There's a very delicate balance . If i have an anxiety attack , I will literally wake up with a pimple or two the next morning , or if I'm stressed from not having enough sleep , or in a blah mood thinking about the past or future ,stressing myself out. This makes acne breakouts seem like a downward spiral as well . You get a break out , you stress. You stress about getting more pimples and then get more pimples because your stressing out even more , and on and on and on .

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201301/cortisol-why-the-stress-hormone-is-public-enemy-no-1

It's a great article on natural ways to reduce stress levels . My number one suggestion staying present in the moment through mindfulness and meditation . good luck.

Today I'm acne free , and incase you DID read all of this ( which , lol thankyou , i apreciate that ) mine did get severe . I've always had oily skin and would have as many as30-40 active pimples at a time all down my temples/cheek/jaw/nose.. everywhere with hyperpigmentation etc .

Exercise , healthy diet , meditation , and most of all doing things I ENJOY , ( for no more than the fact they reduce stress/worry)have been the biggest contributor to my complexion today