Hi y'all.

Since I'm 12 / 13, I have to deal with awful skin tissue problems on my face (and formerly also shoulders). My pores have taken an excessive role for behaviour, and the message is entangled in my genes. That really hurts, since it makes me feel like there's less to do about it. My dad had exactly the same tragedy on his skin, and the inheritance has passed to me. My genes must somehow contain the code for faulty sebum production (that's at least what I would guess). I think that this form of acne has very little to do with excessive sebum due to external factors (e.g. facial creams, which I don't even use now, diet, sleep pattern). It is simply a genetically deflected factor and my skin / face show how this is projecting its inevitable doom. No matter what I changed about habits, my acne has always been there from the age I was 12; it then started manifesting (and at 13, it got really bad and evident from the outside).

Now that I am 19--yes, that many years have passed--its whole structure is messed up. Acne has projected itself differently through all these years. When I was 13, 14, 15 and 16, it was mainly on my forehead, chin and the so-called T-zone. It was also really bad on my shoulders (but this has disappeared completely, when I was 17 it started fading out, I can still see small white scars though but those are not too bad).

I have tried so many remedies that I don't know where and how to start. Very many years have passed since I show my affection with pimples, and I can't remember that there has been a period in which I didn't feel hope for some other 'acne killer', out of all the offered products and strategies. I always had the luck that my parents felt extremely sorry for this, since I was carrying other problems beside, as a teen. However, I feel sorry that none of their kind attempts has ever done something very significant to my face. Loads and loads of creams, periods in which I've had treatment from dermatologists, beauticians; gels and tonics, benzoyl peroxide as well as home remedies (honey, natural clay masks, apple cider and so on). It's too much stuff to consider. From Clearasil to Skin2Morrow (when I was 13), snail gel, specific spot sticks... So many people were enthusiast about certain helpers, which seemed to hold a great promise, and although it worked for them; for me it never made a genuine improvement. If it did, it was just slightly, and always temporarily. The genetic message seemed unbeatable and counteracted anything I tried. I've visited so many specialists for my acne, for either advice or treatments, and they were all very understanding and have done what they could try...

You know what? About one year ago, exactly, I finished the most intensive skin therapy I had tried since ever. I was SO fed up. It looked ugly, in public I was continuously aware of my face's unesthaetical look. It ruined my romantic life as well. I was then 18 and acne was still running as an idiot. When would it finally be enough? I'd been projected for so long, that having a face without acne or red marks or scars, seemed to good to come true. I wasn't even used to that anymore, could not imagine how good it must be. Why oh why, I felt so helpless... I had always been the person with the worst face in high school.

Well, I visited that centre once a month. That was the maximum frequency for this treatment. What she did, was a combination of peelings, squeezing pimples, using some (antibacterial) tonics, and she ended with bringing a healing(?) cream onto my face. This therapy, most important and valuable, involved a LASER PROJECTION (ALA-PDT) to make glands shrink. Accordingly, mine would have been far too active (which sounded logical), and this laser was just meant for more severe variants of acne, too decrease the excessive activity which plays such a strong role in the formation of pimples. I also had a lot of inflammations, then. I had gotten in touch with information about this therapy after I'd browsed, thoroughly. I wanted something more radical.

I've had this therapy for half a year (the standard term), and it finally seemed to redeem. Slowly but surely, I saw remarkable improvements on my face. After each treatment, it got a bit better. At home I used tonics and creams. The red marks got more superficial, and after all my face showed a lot more 'rest'. That was amazing! I must say, though, that these treatments were really expensive. But even after the therapy, my face continued showing more rest.

I knew that there was one more advanced technique to even clean up the 'left mess' on my skin (red marks and white dots, scars). The therapist told me that this would be a possibility, but only after my face would be completely free of (new) inflammations. Perhaps after another six months, or so, she guessed. OK! I decided to be patient and await...

(Due to circumstances in my social life and moving out and then back, not only six months, but an entire year passed. Until half a year ago or so, my acne was so shallow compared to previous times, that I couldn't be bothered about it.)

However... For about six months, my acne has returned. It's so evil and persistent! I thought I would be over it, with an age of 19... I'm not exactly sure why this has happened, but in all these months I've had many, many (new) inflammations, and now my face looks a lot more red and ruined again! And, also typical: my forehead doesn't have any pimples. Nor does my back. The pimples and inflammations, which hold cyst fluid when they are in their 'active' phase, ONLY appear around my jawline. From the front, my face doesn't look too shocking, but the sides are affected. The spots are painful and itchy as well.

Maybe it's due to my hormonal changes (I haven't been ovulating for a long period, my BMI has gotten just too low, but I'm already seeking a therapist for the emotional comfort through a weight gain, don't want to make myself infertile).

I do what I can: I put some tonic on the spots every morning. I can't go without, because if I do, I regularly feel that my glands are forming new inflammations, appearing as big, sensitive bumps. Overnight, I sleep with either raw honey or a clay mask, or Himalayan toothpaste.

Well, these innocent remedies do just enough to keep my inflammations under control (they don't grow worse; these remedies dry up the inflammation). They also don't dry my face tissue and don't give pain sensations. So, that's good. No bad side effects.

But still... What always remains, is a flat, red mark; a remaining after each new inflammation. You can see this very well on the photos. The problem is that it just won't go away by using a cream or tonic... It needs to be directly removed. And you know...? That is exactly what can be done with the laser therapy I had focused on, after ALA-PDT. However, my skin is STILL too active, and it is really just meant for scars and not for wounds and inflammations.

All the money is spent; all the hope is gone. What can I do? A cream, many as I have used, just won't have the effect that I desire, I already know that... It only does a job for keeping inflammations under control but it has very little affect on their appearance in general. Their sight doesn't really change. People may say so about their own experience, but those are the people who don't have such severe acne as me.

My tough pimples won't be 'cleaned up', yet this has been a dream of mine for days, months and years. I wish I could have an entirely new skin tissue: so many marks and scars from the past... I wish I still had the same skin as when I was 11.

I'm stuck, since I have already undergone the most advanced acne for active acne (accordingly to what I read and know), namely, a laser therapy. And this has not had the final effect which it promises for the vast majority. I feel that there must be more people with this problem! Is this case really so secluded, so indefinite to endure...?

I've already tried so much, and I think I just need a final removal of my spots. In literal sense. In my weirdest fantasy I've had thoughts of liquid nitrogen, but that would probably be insane and very unsafe.

So the main question of this topic: what can you do, to remove these red, older acne marks and active spots I've got? If lasers aren't suitable to redeem inflamed skin but only scars, then what is...?

Here are some pictures. You'll also see that the skin below my lips (chin) has a darker tone.

Sorry for making it so long and abstruse. Reactions, experience, or advice would be greatly appreciated. May we all get a beautiful and clear, natural skin!

P.S. Do you think that this kind of acne (it's not everywhere on my face though), is too bad for, let's say, a date? >< I know it's a stupid and personal question, but I feel extremely embarrassed. It is too evident, to not make a note on it! I'm afraid it's a letdown as it looks so foul... It's onerously deterrent.