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So, I know many of you posting here have probably come to know me as I've been fairly active for quite a few months now. I've been working towards accepting my relatively mild if extensive scarring and finding a treatment that would give me some improvement so I could move on with the whole issue. Over this time I've become more obsessed over my scarring, even too obsessed, but at the same time I've realized that my scarring is fairly mild, and things could be much worse. I could've even lived with no improvement at all, and been fairly okay with my scarring.
However, despite only getting occasional spots these days and taking care not to repeat my previous mistakes of skin picking that has caused most of scars, and being very very careful about the spots' healing to eliminate scarring, I've recently been upset by the fact that I still have been getting new acne scars, which I thought was already behind me. However, they seemed fairly small and nothing that would largely affect the severity of my scarring as a whole. I was merely very upset that I still felt like I wasn't in control, but the new scarring itself didn't largely upset me as it was very mild. Two weeks ago, I decided it was causing me too much stress though and I got on antibiotics to stop the cycle.
Today something of a more serious nature occurred with my skin though. In a large scheme of things, it probably shouldn't affect me that much, but right now I feel absolutely floored. Today I got another acne scar - quite likely the worst one of all my scars. It is very raw, VERY deep, and as the skin still hasn't healed, there is still a chance it could get even worse. The size is more or less the same as with my other bigger scars, but the depth of it frightens me and I can see myself having a very hard time coming to terms with the fact that I have this thing now on my face. I don't know how I can handle this emotionally, I feel like hiding in my home for the rest of my life right now. It's going to take a long while before the skin has healed and the redness has subsided, and before I can even see what it will eventually look like. Let alone think of what treatments to have to fix it. For me to have the patience to go through this time with this scar on my face, is going to be mentally hard. I'm not really sure if there is anything that anyone could say that would make me feel better and stronger, but I would appreciate if someone tried. I don't think I've ever been this upset about my skin before, right now I just don't see how I could ever be fine with my skin anymore. I need to believe this scar is going to eventually turn out okay, even if it requires several treatments.
Have you had experience dealing with deep, sharp-edged boxcars? Have you had experience of a very new, raw scar healing somewhat nicely despite looking absolutely horrific to begin with? Do you think things will get better for me, this scar will heal and I can get it treated in a year or so, and end up looking relatively okay? Are there effective treatments for deep, narrow boxcars? I'm sorry if I sound desperate, it's because right now I do feel very low, upset and shocked. Any kind words of support from people who have gone through similar experiences would help more than anything. Thank you.
Sorry you're going through this! I'm not sure what caused your scar this time, was it picking at acne? Sounds like it is raw, so when that happens to me and I know I an going to spend a few days at home the best thing for me is to go buy (or have your family member buy) a hydrocolloid bandage, like a blister bandage, cut to fit scar and stick it on there. The bandage bubbles up and that is normal it creates a sort of second skin and really prevents scarring, or worse scarring. Then you just leave it on for two days and when you take it off it really looks better. If you don't know what bandaids I'm talking about pm me, you can get them at just about any pharmacy, but I like the ones that come in the little boxes that say "I have a blister" at Walgreens.
Pyschologically, just tell yourself you will do what you can to heal it and then maybe talk it over with a derm later, but don't beat yourself up about it. Just try to stay positive and you will heal better!
Thank you for the support, tricia. I did pick at a blackhead which caused the pimple that caused this, but I never picked at the pimple or the scab, no. How do I regret picking at the blackhead though! If I'd only known what it would result in. That is part of the reason why this is so upsetting, I've been doing my absolute best to prevent scarring from the word go when I got the pimple and I've been keeping my fingers crossed it wouldn't scar for the whole seven weeks I've had this scab. It formed a few days after I got the pimple and despite the pimple going down after a week, the scab didn't seem to heal. It fell off twice and rescabbed both times after several weeks (then it still wasn't indented though, just raw and red). This last time the scab was thicker, it was getting loose and the skin underneath still didn't seem to be healing. Today the scab fell off and revealed a very raw and deep scar. I'm not sure why the healing was so impaired, it really didn't seem to heal at all and I don't think it still has healed. But now it is very indented and I can see it's going to be a deep scar. My recent healing capabilities have really baffled me, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm doing something very wrong with my topicals or lifestyle or if I have some kind of an undiagnosed condition that is causing my proneness for scarring.
I think I could go get some hydrocolloid bandaids tomorrow after the pharmacies open, thanks for the tip and support. Right now I just added so much moisturizer on it that I can't see it that well and obsess over it. I'm going to have school every day next week that I can't miss, so I'm not sure if I dare wear a bandaid to my school, but I might try to keep the bandaid on until monday, if it's still useful. And I will keep it moisturized and do my best to let it heal. I know stress and elevated stress hormone levels are only going to make matters worse, but it's hard to tell yourself not to be stressed in situations like these. At least my boyfriend has been a great support and he's promised to come see and console me next weekend.
It's far too early to think about treatments, I suppose, but I can't help but think what options I might have. It would be great to know more about excisions and what the resulting excision scar would be like. And I was going to get consultations for laser treatments in a few months anyway, I don't see why I couldn't still do that and hopefully it would make me feel better and by that point I'd know more about what the scar is like and what my options are.
You can do a punch excision on very small in diameter scars. I think it is the best option for smaller scars like icepicks. I often wonder if I have some undiagnosed condition too! Maybe even a thyroid problem, those are hard to detect at times. My healing has definitely got worse over the years. My problem is I will usually heal with thicker scar tissue in a ring around missing tissue. It will get better over time but the thicker scar tissue never totally disappears. When I was younger that would never happen. Alot of doctors will recommend lasers, but if you don't heal well, probably not a good idea. The hydrocolloid bandages help my skin heal without inflammation. The inflammatory stage is usually what causes scars. Your acne must have been inflamed under your scab, probably from infection. Good to use polysporin when that happens. Or maybe because you were already on antibiotics you have a yeast imbalance in your body. In that case try probiotics. Yeast problems suck, I've had my fair share. Wish we didn't have to deal with all this, but I guess everyone will have some cross to bear in life, this is just ours.
I've only been on antibiotics for the last two weeks, and using probiotics at the same time, so I don't think I have a yeast infection, although not sure. When the scab first fell off, the skin wasn't indented, so I don't know how much the pimple affected the scarring - obviously it must have impaired my healing, though. In a way, it would be comforting if there was a clear reason as to why this happened. I'm not quite sure what I did wrong and thus I'm not sure how to prevent this in the future. :/ I'm definitely stopping all picking though, and using only topicals (or antibiotics) to treat my skin from now on.
And it's a fair point to make regarding the risks of laser when one has poor healing. I've healed just fine from TCA peels and Cross a couple of years ago (although it did take a while), so I don't know how recent this poor healing is. I've had thyroid issues before, with elevated TSH and T4 on the very low end of normal and I haven't been treated for it, so it could be one factor. I should probably go get my thyroid checked soon.
I had another look at the scar, and well. The skin really has not healed yet - right now it's just raw bare dermis where the scab fell off. I don't get how it still can't have closed over despite me being careful with the scabs and despite the fact that it's been 7 weeks. I'm not sure what is the best option to treat it at this point. Moisture or hydrocolloid bandage or something else? I'm worried that if I let it scab over, once the new scab falls off, it could be even worse. I'm also worried that it might be infected (despite having a doctor telling me earlier it isn't) and if I wore a hydrocolloid bandage, I couldn't monitor it possibly getting worse. Wish I knew what the right thing to do is.
I have put a dab of polysporin under the hydrocolloid bandaids before, if it is open. If it isn't and there isn't a present infection, there is no need. Sometimes the bandaid will actually draw out an infection, the only time it could be really bad, is if you have a fungal infection and then it will usually itch and be raised. Sounds like you just need to give it some time before you conclude it is has really scarred, I have had spots that look indented initially that after it heals longer and scabs over again will fill in. I'm going to get my thyroid checked again soon, too. My sister is on thyroid medication, but the last time I checked mine years ago, it came back normal. Concerning laser, I would maybe get spot treatments, but full face seems to be too risky. If you have more good skin than bad, don't risk making it all bad. Let us know how it goes!
Hey austra!
I know the feeling of regret for picking and not knowing what it will result in. The truth of everything is you never know what the consequences are. The best thing you can do is breathe, relax, and take it one day at a time. I know its easier said than done, believe me. Over the course of half a year I lost my mind, my dream of being a model, my composure, and my boyfriend to this obsession.
It sucks, and I cant help but feel I only brought it on myself. Its the worst feeling in the world. But you know what? I'm not going to let it take anything more from me. My freedom, my happiness. My hope. I'm going to use this hurt and loss as a motivation to get everything back and become stronger. I'm going to take better care of myself, hardly look at my skin, and give it time. Take it one day at a time.
The one thing that got me through my skin obsession for my last scar was anime. I find when I'm watching real actors and people I'm constantly looking at their skin and comparing, and constantly looking in the mirror. Its unhealthy.
"There's no such thing as a painless lesson...they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary...you can't gain anything without losing something first. Although...if you can endure that pain, and walk away from it...you will find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle.....yeah...a heart made fullmetal."
If you wanna give anime a try, I recommend Fullmetal Alchemist. ^__^
Oops, I already put the bandage on after washing and air drying the wound, so there's no moisture underneath the bandage other than my skin's own. And yes, the wound is open for now. I'm going to replace the bandage tomorrow, and if it's still open, I'll add a bit of moisturizer underneath the bandage.
I suppose the point of the hydrocolloid bandage is to keep the wound moist and prevent scabbing, so I guess it would still be open tomorrow in any case?
I do very much hope the wound will fill in when it heals, but so far it looks incredibly bad to be honest. I've never had an open sore that would've looked so raw, red and deep, so realistically speaking there is going to be a scar. I'm glad to have it hidden under the bandage, so I can't see it anymore.
And I was actually suspecting even a fungal infection at some point, when the wound wasn't healing. :/ Although it hasn't shown any signs of inflammation or matched any pictures I've looked at of different skin infections - the only problem has been that the skin hasn't closed despite there now having been three scabs over seven weeks. It just doesn't seem to get better. I went to ask a doctor this morning (when there still was a scab) if there was any chance it could be infected, and he said that no, it couldn't. Apparently it couldn't be fungal, or bacterial, or anything else, even if it still takes ages to heal. I hope this is true. He didn't take a sample or do a culture though, so I just have to trust that he can tell the difference.
I'm going to book an appointment next week to get my thyroid checked. One can never be too careful, and besides aging and genes, it's the only thing I can now think of that could explain my poor healing.
Hey austra!
I know the feeling of regret for picking and not knowing what it will result in. The truth of everything is you never know what the consequences are. The best thing you can do is breathe, relax, and take it one day at a time. I know its easier said than done, believe me. Over the course of half a year I lost my mind, my dream of being a model, my composure, and my boyfriend to this obsession.
It sucks, and I cant help but feel I only brought it on myself. Its the worst feeling in the world. But you know what? I'm not going to let it take anything more from me. My freedom, my happiness. My hope. I'm going to use this hurt and loss as a motivation to get everything back and become stronger. I'm going to take better care of myself, hardly look at my skin, and give it time. Take it one day at a time.
The one thing that got me through my skin obsession for my last scar was anime. I find when I'm watching real actors and people I'm constantly looking at their skin and comparing, and constantly looking in the mirror. Its unhealthy.
"There's no such thing as a painless lesson...they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary...you can't gain anything without losing something first. Although...if you can endure that pain, and walk away from it...you will find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle.....yeah...a heart made fullmetal."
If you wanna give anime a try, I recommend Fullmetal Alchemist. ^__^
Oops, I already put the bandage on after washing and air drying the wound, so there's no moisture underneath the bandage other than my skin's own. And yes, the wound is open for now. I'm going to replace the bandage tomorrow, and if it's still open, I'll add a bit of moisturizer underneath the bandage.
I suppose the point of the hydrocolloid bandage is to keep the wound moist and prevent scabbing, so I guess it would still be open tomorrow in any case?
I do very much hope the wound will fill in when it heals, but so far it looks incredibly bad to be honest. I've never had an open sore that would've looked so raw, red and deep, so realistically speaking there is going to be a scar. I'm glad to have it hidden under the bandage, so I can't see it anymore.
And I was actually suspecting even a fungal infection at some point, when the wound wasn't healing. :/ Although it hasn't shown any signs of inflammation or matched any pictures I've looked at of different skin infections - the only problem has been that the skin hasn't closed despite there now having been three scabs over seven weeks. It just doesn't seem to get better. I went to ask a doctor this morning (when there still was a scab) if there was any chance it could be infected, and he said that no, it couldn't. Apparently it couldn't be fungal, or bacterial, or anything else, even if it still takes ages to heal. I hope this is true. He didn't take a sample or do a culture though, so I just have to trust that he can tell the difference.
I'm going to book an appointment next week to get my thyroid checked. One can never be too careful, and besides aging and genes, it's the only thing I can now think of that could explain my poor healing.
Hey austra!
I know the feeling of regret for picking and not knowing what it will result in. The truth of everything is you never know what the consequences are. The best thing you can do is breathe, relax, and take it one day at a time. I know its easier said than done, believe me. Over the course of half a year I lost my mind, my dream of being a model, my composure, and my boyfriend to this obsession.
It sucks, and I cant help but feel I only brought it on myself. Its the worst feeling in the world. But you know what? I'm not going to let it take anything more from me. My freedom, my happiness. My hope. I'm going to use this hurt and loss as a motivation to get everything back and become stronger. I'm going to take better care of myself, hardly look at my skin, and give it time. Take it one day at a time.
The one thing that got me through my skin obsession for my last scar was anime. I find when I'm watching real actors and people I'm constantly looking at their skin and comparing, and constantly looking in the mirror. Its unhealthy.
"There's no such thing as a painless lesson...they just don't exist. Sacrifices are necessary...you can't gain anything without losing something first. Although...if you can endure that pain, and walk away from it...you will find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle.....yeah...a heart made fullmetal."
If you wanna give anime a try, I recommend Fullmetal Alchemist. ^__^
Thank you, ForeverandPatience. I'm happy to hear you're dealing better with your skin issues.
And you are absolutely right, I shouldn't let this affect my life or my happiness. My boyfriend said very well that I'm a young nice-looking woman with a lot going for me and one more scar isn't going to change anything unless I let it. I'm going to fight through this. If the scar still looks bad after it has fully healed, I may look to have it treated, but either way, I shouldn't let it get to me and it's not going to change any of my loved ones' opinion of me, which is what matters.
Thats good to hear! And I'm glad your boyfriend is so supportive. Mine never knew what was getting me down, maybe he never will. All that matters is that I get better. And you too!
I've now replaced the hydrocolloid bandage with another one, they seem fairly effective I have to say. I put a little bit of terproline professional on the scar, although I don't know if that would have any effect. The scar sadly still looks very deep, and it was depressing to see it was at least as bad as I remembered. I'll try to keep this bandage on for a few days so that I couldn't see the scar right now.
You can do a punch excision on very small in diameter scars. I think it is the best option for smaller scars like icepicks.
I know my scar is no ice-pick, but I'm still interested in an excision, perhaps with a scalpel instead (if I can find a good plastic surgeon etc). I haven't looked into this much yet, but I'd imagine that it would be possible - my scar is still only around average size (2.0x1.5mm or so), and deep. If the scar remains as deep after healing, it seems like the best and most effective alternative I would have. I really wouldn't mind having a linear scar on my cheek.
I bumped into a melanoma survivor's blog today. She had the melanoma on her face, and it needed to be excised and replaced with a skin graft. In a way, it's comforting to know that even when facing cancer, it's perfectly normal to be upset about facial scarring. Also it was comforting to see how much better the skin became after enough time had passed. If she dealt with all of that and now her skin looks fairly okay, surely I can also handle my ugly new scar and it's going to look much better with time.
Moisturizer with bandage or moisturizer with silicon sheet would help...even a little. Silicon sheets are usually for raised scars, but your scar is fairly new, it might help to level up and flatten the scar.
I know how you feel! But hope the scar will heal and look better. If your scar is still open, then I recommend you to keep it clean(but gently clean it) and put a little vitamin E oil instead of moisturizer. But if the oil irritates your skin, then you can try a mild organic moisturizer.
Good luck austra!
Thank you, FruitBiscuits. 
I'm following Tricia's advice and keeping a hydrocolloid bandage on it to keep it moist and sealed until it closes properly. I think it's still open, though I haven't been looking too much. I'll reassess the scar after it has healed from the-open wound stage. And after the bandage goes off, I'll start splurging with the moisturizers.
And if I still find it unpleasant after it has fully healed and the hyperpigmentation has faded, then I'll have some treatments to improve it. Either DeepFX or excision, or possibly something else. So it's not going to bother me in the long run.
Sorry for the speed read, I'm short on time tonight! I wanted to let you know that you're not alone and that things will get better. Acne and acne scarring is unfair and why it has to be seen in such a negative light, socially, is unacceptable to me. I am human. I deserve to be given just as much respect and love no matter what I look like. I think society needs a wake up call. We are not the problem!
The one thing that has been a life saver for me is Niacinamide. If you can find a product containing it then my advice is to get some asap. If you can find it in a serum, even better as it will be stronger. Niacinamide (B3) is fantastic for significantly reducing (and even preventing) scars from forming as a result of acne and it will keep your skin moist without being greasy or clogging your pores. I use it every morning and night. It takes the redness and raging pain out of my cystic acne that I sometimes get under my jawline.
Also, I burned my arm a few weeks ago and have been applying Niacinamide to the area to aid healing... incredible! It's still a bit red but it's healing brilliantly and I'm 100% certain it won't leave a scar.
Keep your chin up and look to the future. We are all works in progress.
xx
Thank you for the support, Quirky Fox! I will look into topical niacinamide. I do have some B3 supplements that cause the flush effect, but I don't know if they would help or not (and not really comparable to topical use anyway). I tried them a few weeks ago to improve my circulation and possibly help with the scab healing, but I thought it was upsetting my stomach, so I stopped.
I think I'm going to stop the antibiotics soon, since they've started to upset my stomach despite using probiotics, and I don't have much active acne anyway. And on other news, I got my thyroid hormones tested today, should find out next week if thyroid wackiness could have contributed to my poor healing and this scarring.
I just took off the hydrocolloid bandage, it's been quite a few days now since the last time I saw the scar. Still looking like a hyperpigmented hole. It's hard to gauge how deep it is since it's so dark red, but it does still look deep. It was a bit narrower than I remembered, possibly even less than 1mm wide. So it's fairly small. I'm going to start treating it with red leds around 5 minutes a day and Terproline Professional. We'll see what's going to happen.... I expect not to be too happy with what it's going to look like, and in that case I'd like to treat it soon, ideally within 5-12 months, after the hyperpigmentation has faded. Excision sounds like the easiest option right now, but I'm still researching and of course I'd wait to see how the scar heals first.
Will keep this thread updated. Thanks for the support and replies, they do help.
I've stopped using the hydrocolloid bandages 24/7 now, although I still keep them on during the nights. I had the bandages on for about a week. I can definitely recommend them. The scar stays nicely moisturized when I wear one, it's protected and I don't have to look at it and get depressed. Win-win. I'm also considering wearing them on pimples, in case it would prevent scabbing (and the risk of scarring).
During the days I put some zinc oxide cream around the scar to help with the redness, and Terproline Professional in the actual hole. Those alone hide the redness and the indent to the point that I don't mind going out in public, heh. The scar may look a bit shallower than to begin with, but it's hard to say. It will take months before I can really judge what it will look like, although I can tell that it's deeper and more severe than any other scar I've got for a long, long while, so it may not improve much. At this moment, I still would like to get it excised once it's healed.
I've stopped using the hydrocolloid bandages 24/7 now, although I still keep them on during the nights. I had the bandages on for about a week. I can definitely recommend them. The scar stays nicely moisturized when I wear one, it's protected and I don't have to look at it and get depressed. Win-win. I'm also considering wearing them on pimples, in case it would prevent scabbing (and the risk of scarring).
During the days I put some zinc oxide cream around the scar to help with the redness, and Terproline Professional in the actual hole. Those alone hide the redness and the indent to the point that I don't mind going out in public, heh. The scar may look a bit shallower than to begin with, but it's hard to say. It will take months before I can really judge what it will look like, although I can tell that it's deeper and more severe than any other scar I've got for a long, long while, so it may not improve much. At this moment, I still would like to get it excised once it's healed.
I'm sure it'll get better. But if you do decide to have it excised, please do post about the experience. 
Hey! Glad you like the hydrocolloids, I do wear them a lot at night, escpecially if I have a little zit that might be swollen, it helps to take the swelling down and definitely keeps me from touching it. Picking used to be such a problem for me, and it does help to cover it up.
Some scars will get better in time, so just hang in there!
Thanks, Tricia and ForeverAndPatience, I do hope the scar gets better with time, although I'm bracing myself for the idea that I'll have it excised. Just have to be patient now.
I just got a few whiteheads since I stopped the antibiotics (already :/), so I decided to continue them for some time until I'm less stressed out. I got my thyroid values yesterday, and they weren't too bad. TSH was on the very high end of normal, but since T4 was good, I'm probably not going to ask for more tests. There's still a chance that I could have thyroid problems, but it doesn't seem that likely they would explain my recent skin issues. Which is a relief in a way, since having to take medication for the rest of my life didn't seem that enthralling.
Just an update in case anyone ever reads this and wonders what happened.
So, my new scar is A LOT better now. It's much smaller and shallower than what it initially seemed to be. I don't know why it did seem so large to me to begin with, actually - it's just 1x1.5mm or so. However, it's still there and the shape is the same. Basically now it all boils down to how deep it is, which I'll be able to assess once it's fully healed and the hyperpigmentation is gone. I still have to wait maybe 1-3 months, there's still some redness. If it bothers me by then, I'll consult a plastic surgeon about having it excised. It's not really such a bad scar, but it's in an otherwise unscarred, fairly prominent part of my cheek and I'm not used to it, so I'd like to get it treated.
I've kept it covered in Terproline Professional and have been treating it with 5 mins of red LEDs on most days for the past three months. I can't say if that has affected my healing or not. However, I've discovered that a big layer of Terproline is very good at making this scar less visible, so it's been a lifesaver. I've used it every day to make my scar look much less noticeable and as a result, I've been able to stop thinking about it and go on with my life. I'm not going to cover it up like this for the rest of my life, but right now this seems like a good idea to make me feel better.
I actually managed to get a very similar scar just a couple centimeters next to it about a month afterwards. 
What happened was that I had to pop a mildish pimple that wasn't going away. Everything looked like it would heal well, there was no scab or anything, but I used 5% salicylic acid close to the healing area on a few consecutive days afterwards. At this point I was still new to SA so I didn't know how often my skin could take it and that it could also affect areas near the application site. I used it too often and too close to the healing skin, and a chemical burn (slightly darkened dry layer of skin) formed over that area, and when it peeled off there was a scar. I don't know exactly what happened, but SA obviously disturbed the healing somehow.
The second new scar is also still healing, it's too early to tell what it will look like but I may have that excised as well. Assuming it bothers me once it's healed and the plastic surgeon actually thinks the excision scar would be less noticeable. This one is also small, so it's not a huge deal but still fairly noticeable to me. I can also make it look much better by covering with Terproline, which is what I've been doing.
Also, huge thanks to those people who responded to me when I was feeling agitated about my scar. You were really wonderful and helped me a lot.