Anyways, I'm starting this log as a fun and proactive thing for me to do as I fight this hellish journey known as acne/PIH. I've been struggling with my complexion since middle school...got worse in high school, cleared up pretty good when I came to college, BUT for whatever reason (stress, lazy regimen, lack of follow up with my derm) I find that I am fighting this battle once again. It sucks being 21 with acne when it seems most people around me have "outgrown" their acne, or have found ways to deal with it now.
As of late, my self-esteem has took a dive, and I've been diagnosed with anxiety. Not a very fun time to have skin insecurities, but I also accept that this is a part of my life that I can work to find a solution for...and it's gonna be a bitch in the meantime as I have to be patient.
I recently went back to the derm (5 days ago) after not following up with her in over a year. My complexion is so spotty with pigmentation scars, and I have quite a few blemishes as well. I would classify my situation as pretty persistent and stubborn mild/moderate acne. It's not a pleasant sight for me to see, and I truly hope that I can find a way to manage this issue.
ALL THAT BEING SAID, I am taking Bactrim (2 a day for 2 weeks, and then once a day after that). I wash my face with a Simple cleanser morning and night, am using Duac as my morning topical and Retin-A (I think .025?) as my evening topical. I'm using the Cetaphil moisturizing cream so I'm not flaky af...but it does make my skin really shiny and oily ugh. I'm also wearing a little Tarte Amazonian clay foundation to cover up some of my spots during the day.p
My skin has been a bitch to dominate but I'm ready this time to be diligent with my routine and hopefully get the results I desire. I have a faith in God and amazing support system in my life and I truly believe that this troubled period of insecurity and stubborn complexion will be resolved.
To those who'd like to follow my journey, please do! I'd love to get feedback, support, encouragement, etc. Acne is a super struggle and I'm sure many of you know how sucky and life-dampening it can be. But we all just have to figure out what works for us, stay on track and be hopeful that things will work out 
Here's to clear skin and hopefulness!
Ok so just wanted to do a week 1 update:
I'm feeling pretty okay about my skin. And by okay, I mean skeptical and nervous that it will never reach the flawless standard I have set for it. I'm pretty self-conscious about it, but I want to remain hopeful and confident.
That being said, after just 1 week, it can be hard to notice significant progress, but I can say that most of my spots at this point are healed/almost healed. I have two bothersome whiteheads that developed on my forehead earlier this weekthat have been pissing me off...but I know they'll heal. And a few small blemishes elsewhere. My skin doesn't look much clearer, though, in my opinion because my red marks are just everywhere ughhhhhh.
My firstskin goal has to be gettingthe acne under control and healed. Once that's taken care of, I'll pray that all this horrible horrible red mark pigmentation goes away. That's the biggest battle of all, in my opinion, but I'm hoping with diligent use of my Retin-A, I'll be able to get rid of all the redness.
My face is also a huge oil slick, and I'm going to start using a lighter Olay Moisturizer...but I'm really challenged with such shiny skin rn.
Time. Patience. Humility. They're tough things to honor right now but I'm gonna do my very best.
Merry Christmas and please some prayers! If anyone reading this would like prayers please let me know 🙂
Quick update:
So I think the Bactrim is starting to kick in....but really I've been super paranoid about my skin and feeling defeated and frustrated. I know it's still early on and my skin needs to take its time.
As per usual, my skin has been red and tight and irritated. Not good signs when it comes to acne. Breakout wise, I'm doing ok, but the redness is KILLER. It doesn't help that the cold wind makes everything worse. I don't like going out with polka dots all over my face so I've been lightly applying some Tarte foundation over my spots. However, I caught a sight of my skin in a fluorescent dressing room yesterday and it looked pretty much a huge mess. Patchy, uneven, red :/
Today is New Years (wahoo)! My topicals are driving me nuts because they make my skin so tight and red and it's impossible to look even toned and healthy skinned with redness and patchiness. I wanted my skin to look semi decent so I ended up washing my face for the second time after failing to put makeup over my tacky topical face. I put on a Tarte primer BB cream and some of their concealer and powder. My skin definitely has a chance of breaking out because of all the coverage idk...but quite honestly I don't even care right now because my facelooks like a mess anyways. Hopefully the Bactrim will suppress the breaking out tho.
I'malso not trying to restrict my diet too much. I eat generally pretty healthy, but I'll be honest, there's no way I'llcommit to a lifestyle of only eating green juices and kale. I want cake in my life.
Anyways, rant over. Hopefully progress will continue to be made. I'm gonna start being a little less generous with my topicals in the AM because they make everything feel inflamed and irritated. I shouldn't have red sunburn face like I do.
I'm so over this battle with my complexion, so honestly, if I'm not happy with progress by my March appt with my derm, I'll go on the 'tane train.
if anyone has any advice or encouragement I'd really appreciate it!!
2 week mark has hit. Not impressed with my complexion yet at all. It's still early on tho and I will have to be patient for the results to kick in. Acne is a real confidence killer and honestly, it's some rough shit to go through. It's making me into a tough fighter and I want to come out of this stronger and better than ever.
prayers that the skin healing happens soon...I didn't even realize what a good thing I had when my skin was clear(er)!
but hey, I cleared it the first time, I should be able to clear it again. Might take time, but it's all in God's timing and He's obviously letting this be a challenge in my life for a reason. I'm going to persevere and have hope because He is in control
SO ACNE SUCKS BUT I GOT JESUS
Day 17...gonna update again
I WANT CLEAR SKIN!!! I obviously know this is all here for a reason but tbh it's one of those (many) moments where I feel frustrated with my complexion. Maybe it's way too early to be so judgmental of the progress being made, but I just feel like nothing is happening the way I want it to...............it's not my time yet, to have clear skin, and I'm having a hard time accepting that.
It's really easy for me to feel hopeless because it feels like these meds are taking forever to work. I catch a glimpse of my skin in certain lighting and I hate how bumpy it looks. I just wish I knew how to maintain natural, healthy, balanced, even-toned, non-bumpy skin...I have a lot of clogged pores on my forehead, some on my cheeks and stuff and a gazillion PIH marks everywhere. This should be a solvable problem...it just isn't solved yet, and it's frustrating.
I know I'm blessed to have pretty okay skin overall and I don't have severe breakouts right now...but that's not to say that I think I have a pleasant looking complexion, at least in my opinion. I want to have all these little bumps off of my face...AND ALL THE MARKS ugh.
I assume that the Bactrim should take care of the big problem, and the Duac and Retin A are good formaintenance, but the Duac and Retin-A on their own do not maintain a clear complexion for me. I started taking Bactrim in April 2012 (in conjunction with Duac and Retin-A) and was pretty clear by September 2012, and slowly weaned myself off and stopped completelyover the summer (I think?). Since then, the breakouts came back. I'm hoping once the Bactrim is active in my system it will kick this problem and clear me up like last time...but I don't know.
I'm pushing on. I keep telling myself this is just a phase. In two and a half month's time, I'll be seeing my derm again and getting some feedback. I trust that she'll be able to encourage me forward with my regimen...or recommend Accutane...something will give me that clear complexion I want...until then, I have to accept this phase and not beat myself up.
This phase of waiting for my complexion is like a vicious cycle. I hate having to wear makeup because it takes so long to try to cover up my spots and marks. And the topical makes my skin flaky...but my Cetaphil moisturizer is so thick it makes my skin look greasy.
I basically hate the redness, but I also can't seem to make my skin look balanced and not flaky/red/greasy etc. I feel like it just looks like a breeding ground for acne.
Spots have been clearing...new spots are showing up...red marks make skin look much worse...
It's almost been three weeks, which is still really early on :/ will continue to update as needed
Ok so it's been about 6 weeks?
Have to say, things are going pretty decently! I'm not trying to jinx anything and it's a little soon to say that I've turned the corner, but I can see improvements. I really hope the worst of it is over!!!!
Sometimes it can be hard to track progress because I'm always critiquing my skin and looking at the parts I want fixed. I think it's definitely important for me to realize that although my skin isn't where I want it to be yet, doesn't mean that it hasn't improved at all. My acne right now is very minimal, any spots I've been getting seem to heal quicker too.
Red marks are still prominent, but my skin is *beginning* to look better I think.
ONE THING I HAVE TO MENTION: I'd say about four or so days ago, I added Fruit of the Earth 100% Aloe Vera Gel and I think I like it a lot! I've been slathering it on at night and in the morning right after I wash my face, and I find it keeps my skin feeling smooth and clean. It even seems to help with inflammation, so spots heal nicely with this and I MUCH MUCH rather enjoy smearing this across my face for acne prevention instead of Duac which just is sticky and dry and irritating. I am still using Retin-A about 20 mins after the Aloe has soaked in and I touch up little spots morning and night with Duac. Might be a little overkill, but it seems to be working, and I can see my acne shrinking after I wake up in the morning.
Overall, just keeping my head up, priding myself over the strides I've made so far and looking forward to more improvements! When I see my derm in about 2 months, we'll see what steps I'll take next. Clear, healthy, beautiful skin is on it's way (or so I hope!!)
It's been a little less than 3 months I guess.
Skin is pretty much doing the same it always has. I'm due to see my derm in a couple weeks. I want to ask about Accutane, since I'm still breaking out (although maybe not as bad idk). This regimen doesn't seem to stop the problem, it just supresses it a little. My acne is mild/moderate, but my red mark scars are a major issue as they always have been.
The appearance of my skin is still very unslightly. Skin looks damaged and oily. I'm still wearing quite a bit of makeup just to even out my sunburnt looking acne face.
I don't feel defeated, but I'm also not thrilled with the way things are going. I don't feel like many major improvements have been made and I think I have a long way to go.
I'm holding on!