Ok I have been moping on these forums for years and came across some of my old posts about not picking. Well I still am and I'm fucking SICK of it!! Yesterday was a clinche moment (if that is right word) when I looked at my red-marked ridden face with a few scabs around the chin...so horrible.

I going on holiday in a few days and I'm so angry with myself. I can't leave the house and I have vaseline smeared over my face like someone has just puked ectoplasm all over me. One good thing is today I haven't picked once. And this is it. I called a derm and have booked a consultation appointment when I get back to hopefully get a chemical peel (never had one before) or something. Things need to change and its got to the point where I realise its up to me to sort this not some miracle cure or epiphany that I've subconsciously been expecting.

I fully expect some relapses in this journey and whats important is not to allow that shitty depressed feeling as you've just picked to take over otherwise it just becomes a vicious cycle. Just STOP and keep going. I would post some photos to show the progress but I'm too scared to see how bad by skin is. I have taken some but am not going to look at them for a while until my skin has improved. I hope that makes sense lol.

Here goes!