I found a really awesome foundation. I kind of wanted something to even out my skin tone. It's Annabelle skin true natural lightweight makeup and it's nice. It's oil free and has vitamins A, C & E, chamomille and green tea. On the back it says: High fidelity sebum control, natural delicate matte finish. So I was sold. The back also doesn't say not tested on animals but that company doesn't. I only tried this out yesterday but so far I like it. You definitely need concealer with it.

I've started not washing my face in the morning quickly wiping my face with a hydrogen peroxide soaked cottonball and then splash my face with water. It seems to not make my face as oily as washing it. Then I've been putting aloe from my aloe plant on my face.

Being vegan so far has been going great. A little jealous when people eat cheese in front of me so I bought some vegan cheese but I'm expecting it to suck. So far that's been going like this:

Breakfast: Usually I just eat quaker instant protein oatmeal mixed with 2 tbsps of hemp hearts which equals 16 grams of protein. In the morning since I gave up coffee a month ago (which I feel a lot less tired all the time) I fill my french press with a quarter cup of yerba matte and then put some lemon tea in there too. After that I drink a glass of water with lemon every time I eat something. Today I had a couple of vegan sausage links I fried with zucchini.

Snack: Banana dipped in peanut butter. I usually eat some tortilla chips (organic because corn is usually gmo) dipped in spicy hummus or guacamole. I really liked making my guac with sour cream and it bums me out without it so I switched to hummus and just eat avocados sliced up. I snack on cherry tomatoes throughout the day.

Lunch: Kale salad mix that had coleslaw cabbage in it. It also has dried cranberries, pumpkin seeds and then I put 2 tbsps of hemp hearts for protein. A lot of times I eat some of this dried curry lentil soup because it's high in protein.

Snack: I try to just eat berries and fruit or celery with peanut butter. Sometimes I feel really hungry and I eat a bowl of nature's path sunrise maple cereal and I put vanilla almond milk on it. It's actually good.

Dinner: I was eating quinoa with veggies chopped up in it and then covering it in cheese but it's not the same without cheese. Lately I've just been eating a veggie burger patty with a salad and avocado. I think I might switch to bean burger patties because soy protein isn't that great for you if it just contains soy protein which is processed soy. Good thing I bought a whole ton of them. Oh well. They work for now. I heard cauliflower help clear acne so I bought one to dip in red pepper vinegarette but I just am never in the mood for it.

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So, the last few months I've been thinking I've been having like some kind of hormonal postpartum acne but since I've been on this site I wonder if it couldn't maybe be stress too. I wonder how you would tell. I know it was hormonal at first. Half of my hair fell out, I got BAD acne and oily skin and I cried all the time. Seems hormonal to me. A lot of it calmed down but I still have acne and oily skin. Everywhere online seems to say it will stop by 6 months. My diet is really good that's why I wonder about stress. I am really stressed out. REALLY really really stressed. I am a new mother, I never had kids before and 9 months ago I had twin girls. As of 4 months ago their dad took off and I have been raising them alone on my own. It can be really stressful. I only get like 3 hours of sleep and kind of feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown all the time. It seems like almost an impossible job but I love them and love being their mother. I'm doing it and I'm doing it pretty good. I amaze myself in that way. It sound's cheesy but I truly feel blessed to have them. Though I have aged a lot since I've had them. My skin has developed bad enlarged scarred pores that I have become really down about. I was already self conscious about the scars on my nose and now I have to deal with them being surrounded large pores and acne. I've become very antisocial and depressed. I actually have had bad depression and OCD since I was 8 and I have never taken anything for it but I'm now looking for something natural to take. I have had anxiety pretty bad since I was a teen but really it was nothing compared to this. I dread social contact and have an anxiety attack just over going next door to pay my rent. It's ridiculous. And it's all about my skin. I need to fix this. When I wasn't a mom I could do whatever I want. I could be as self destructive as I wanted. If I was depressed I would sleep for days straight. Now there is no room for me to do anything for myself. I even feel selfish feeling depressed or sorry for myself about my skin. Anyway. Sorry for ranting. I'm starting to annoy myself.

I bought a sunscreen because when you use a dermaroller you're suppose to wear it in the sun because the sun could really damage your skin if you don't. I have just been looking at the weather report and rolling when it's going to be cloudy. I have never worn sunscreens and don't like them. I bought Alba Botanica very emollient facial spf 30 and it seems nice and doesn't brake me out. But I wonder if a foundation with sun protection would work just as well. I also read an article about jojoba oil and how most people use it wrong and if you use it wrong it won't have much of an effect on your face or make your acne worse, which I was using it wrong. I guess you can't put in directly on your face, you have to mix it 50/50 with something else like moisturizer or aloe vera gel. So last night I mixed it with aloe and put all over my face and then went to bed and this morning my face looked so much better. My pores looked drastically unclogged and my face wasn't oily like it always it. I'm really excited but I'm not going to put anymore on until tonight.

Wow--kudos to you for everything you do for your kids!

Maybe you can look at it is a blessing that you will be so busy you'll just forget all about your skin!

Wow--kudos to you for everything you do for your kids!

Maybe you can look at it is a blessing that you will be so busy you'll just forget all about your skin!

Thanks 🙂 Mostly I do forget about it when I'm just with them but when I have to go out or anything I just hate it. I am pretty darn busy but now they are getting to be able to play with eachother for long periods of time so I have a little more me time.

So for a few days I was washing my face with Neostrata's oil free gel cleanser that I bought probably 10 months ago. It has 4% glycolic acid. I had only used it for a few days and thought it was breaking me out so I quit using it but was reading recently about how glycolic acid make your skin purge so I thought I'd give it another try. And oh my god, purging is a bitch and I can't go through with it. My face is so broken out. Everything I didn't even know was there came to the surface. I read yesterday that sometimes the purging process can take months and I just don't have it in me right now. It seems like a pretty decent face wash though. I looked it up and surprisingly Neostrata doesn't test on animals. I think I might just use it as a body wash. When I was in town last night I picked up Phisoderm ph up for oily skin because I've been reading about how good ph balancing cleansers are and also when I was 19 I used it for a week while I stayed at a furnished cabin and it made my skin really clear. It is a cream cleanser which I don't really like but I am so desperate. But honestly, I woke up with literally no oil on my face. After I washed my skin felt really normal and clean. I was pretty impressed. Phisoderm also doesn't test on animals though it does have some bad ingredients like sodium lauryl sulfate and polyparaben but I'm just going to keep using it for now.

I haven't really found anything else for stress or depression. Well, for stress I have been taking this homeopathic remedy called Amara Ignatia 200ch and that is helping with feeling overwhelmed with stress, which I feel like everyday. But with a lot of these homeopathic remedies you can antidote them with mint or coffee and a lot of things have mint in them. Also a lot of things are in the mint family like tea tree oil and lemon balm so you have to be careful with teas and toothpastes. The last few days I have gotten almost no sleep so I've been loading up on coffee and then I can really tell how much the Ignatia works when it's being antidoted. Coffee is definitely not worth it no matter how tired I am. For anxiety I've been taking Bach's rescue remedy which helps... especially if I remember to take it. I know the very best thing for everything would just be sleep which I have no control over that. Really, if you are able to sleep more than 2 hours in a row or sleep more than 3 to 4 hours a night, at least you have that. You should appreciate it cause you never know, you might end up having twins that you end up raising by yourself. You end up saying goodbye to simple luxuries like relaxing and watching a movie or taking a long hot bath and then also giving up basic human needs like sleep. Being a mommy is all very well worth it to me but I'm pretty sure I am going to look like a very old haggard crazy woman in just like 5 years. Involuntary eye twitches and all that.

It's funny you bring up glycolic acid--I just got into that stuff!! I use a great product recommended by the derm called Aqua Glycolic Toner. The important thing is that you wash it off. My derm told me not to leave it on my skin because it can irritate and I am having a lot of success with it.

The last 2 weeks I have had unusually bad acne. I am cutting back on the Clearasil sulphur acne treatment because it was seriously drying out my face. I'm still waiting for my sulphur soap to come in the mail but am thinking maybe I shouldn't use it on my face. I tried using yes to tomatoes acne cleanser and it seemed ok. I mostly just liked the way it smells. I gave up on the Phisoderm. It wasn't cleaning my skin well enough and wasn't making me any less oily. I did however discover Dr. Bronner's magic castile soap. I was reading about Edgar Cayce (brilliant man) and some of his treatments for acne and acne scars and he mentioned cleansing with castile soap. So I googled it and sure enough tons of people claimed that Dr. Brommer's soap cleared their acne. So, I went to Target because I've seen it there, hoping to get the tea tree one but they didn't have it so I just bought a bar of the lavender. I know I always speak too soon, but it is uh-mazing. I use it on my face and body, I love it. It really did clear my skin up in the last 2 days. I am so happy with it so far. It cleans really well yet it is really gentle. It's all natural, well here is the link for the ingredients https://www.drbronner.com/DBMS/BARSOAP/OBLA05.html

I've come to the conclusion that I might have body dysmorphic disorder. This is new for me though I have always been a little more concerned with my skin than most people but it has become really bad this last year. I really want it to stop. I have this constant dwelling sadness feeling and anxiety. I heard about BDD a couple months ago on this site and was assuming it was just my OCD. I'm sure that OCD is part of why I have it but also in the last year my skin has become drastically worse. I am not delusional at all. It could be worse but it's bad. People might think I am making a big deal about nothing, but when I have it covered up very well so it might look like I am making a big deal over nothing. Also, part of the anxiety is about covering it up. If it just stayed covered up all day I could go about my day, but it doesn't. I constantly have to check it and fix it and it causes all this stress. I constantly think about how I can maybe permanently fix it too. All my problem is on my nose and there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of options for fixing the skin on your nose. I'm always looking up treatments but also am really scared of making it so much worse. I don't know. I do know I can't live like this forever though. When I die I don't want to look back and realize half of my whole life was wasted just looking in the mirror hating myself. Life is about learning and loving, not staring in the mirror and obsessing about your pores. I wish so much I could just be comfortable in my own skin. Anyway... Sometimes I feel like a fool.

So I've been kind of abusing the crap out of my face this last month. All rules went out the window. I decided sulphur wasn't working well enough anymore and drying out my face really bad. The last few months I've started getting fine wrinkes. I thought since I hadn't tried BP in 10 years I would give that a shot. Oops. I bought the Oxy emergency face wash that had 5% and used that a week. My skin looked awful the whole week. Red, bumpy and peeling. Whitehead city. Then I went back to the Yes to tomatoes face wash that has 1% salicylic acid and it immediately got better. I bought Neutrogena naturals spot gel with 1% SA and used that instead of my Clearasil sulphur spot treatment. I was surprised how well the Neutrogena one worked that after I washed my face I began putting a thin layer of it all over my wet face. Probably stupid but it seems to work out well. I also bought Neutrogena's rapid wrinkle night moisturizer yesterday and wore it to bed. It smells very strong and it burned a little but when I woke up it looked ok until I washed my face and then there was a little redness and burning. It says on the box that if that happens to use it every other night. My face was significantly less oily this morning. The last few days I have been studying homeopathy and acne remedies and almost took one called sulphur but decided to wait to look more into other ones specifically for over active sebum.

For stress I decided be on the computer a lot less. Like, only check messages when I go over to my parents. Then at night, take a bath with candles. I put tons of epsom salt in it because that is suppose to help acne and then I read a book for like an hour. It is really relaxing except that I have to leave the door open a little to be able to hear my babies and my cat comes in and stares at me the whole time. It's slightly distracting. But overall I've felt better than when I was on the computer more.

For makeup I am trying Joe fresh matte primer and it is very oil controlling. I think you can only get it in Canada. Maybe not though. I've been trying Garnier's BB cream for oily skin and it works well for me.

As for being vegan, that only lasted a month. I plan on doing it in the future but I am going to wait until I am a little less stressed out. It just adds to depression to not be able to have cheese on things. I will just continue to be plain old vegetarian. It's funny that I had will power to quit drinking and smoking but not quitting certain foods. It was harder than quitting bread and sugar. Lame...

*UPDATE 2 hours after I posted this I washed my face like usual and my face broke out in acne and a rash. It burned so bad I returned the Neutrogena retinol, so I only used it that once. A lot of people have luck with it and their acne but 10 days later and my face still looks like crap from it. I did buy Cerave's pm lotion for normal to oily skin which has niacinamide, ceramides and hyaluronic acid. It has a bunch of parbens though but other than that feel it seems really good. You don't feel anything on your face but it moisturizes well.