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One, Two, Punch

 
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(@jj)

Posted : 07/15/2014 8:25 pm

Good luck at the derm, hope they have some positive things to recommend. Sorry things are not going well.

I am so miserable right now! So fed up with trying to control everything acne wise. So you know what, I'm doing something about it. I am backing down from diet as while i do believe a healthier diet can help acne, it's been something I have been engaging in for a long time and it hasn't helped in the least. I am still going to eat fish but I will also be adding in chicken and once in a while, beef. I also will start eating brown rice once in a while. Fruits are back in as well. Will leave eggs out for now as i'm not a fan and maybe will include almond milk/butter in a few weeks. I'll still be juicing but not the massive amounts of beets and carrots I was doing before. My body is not liking that at all if my BM have anything to say about it. Supplements will remain the same, especially the magnesium which is helping a lot with stress and anxiety.

Will update tomorrow on what my derm recommends and may post a pic.

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(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/16/2014 5:37 am

Good luck at the derm, hope they have some positive things to recommend. Sorry things are not going well.

I am so miserable right now! So fed up with trying to control everything acne wise. So you know what, I'm doing something about it. I am backing down from diet as while i do believe a healthier diet can help acne, it's been something I have been engaging in for a long time and it hasn't helped in the least. I am still going to eat fish but I will also be adding in chicken and once in a while, beef. I also will start eating brown rice once in a while. Fruits are back in as well. Will leave eggs out for now as i'm not a fan and maybe will include almond milk/butter in a few weeks. I'll still be juicing but not the massive amounts of beets and carrots I was doing before. My body is not liking that at all if my BM have anything to say about it. Supplements will remain the same, especially the magnesium which is helping a lot with stress and anxiety.

Will update tomorrow on what my derm recommends and may post a pic.

Thanks JJ. There is a reason this is happening but I am tired of trying to figure it out. At this point its Let go and Let God.

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/16/2014 9:24 am

On my way to my dermatologists appointment in a few so decided today would be a good day to take pictures.

Most of the redness denotes underground bumps that are about to surface. My mouth/chin area is red and I'm not sure why. I'm thinking my cleanser may be drying me out so I will be bringing the products I am currently using with me to show her. I just want this to all go away. Will update when i get back in the PM

BACK FROM THE DERM. My pimples are sore as the derm popped the top off the ones that had white heads on them. I asked her if this would infect the surrounding area and she said quite the opposite, it could go deeper so we'll see. I have 2 hard bumps coming in below my chin and a lot of the clogged pores getting inflamed.

In looking at my acne, she said that some of the bumpiness was comedones and not actual papules and putsules. I do have those too but it's a combination of comedones and the inflamed acne. She wants me to use tretinoin generic .05% cream as well as a product called Neostrata Ultra Smoothing Cream which is a glycolic acid at an 8% formulation (it's for first time users of AHA so its supposed to be much milder than Dan's). I am hesitant to try the tretinoin due to my eczema but she said to start out extremely slowly so once per week, then twice per week, etc. If i notice any rashiness like i did with BP, then I am to stop immediately. If my eczema does flare, then we will have to rely on oral stuff. She said she would be open to Spiro down the road and accutane as a last resort (and i do mean last last last last last resort). I'll report back after my initial use of tretinoin (hopefully tomorrow night).

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/17/2014 7:34 pm

I feel the inflammation spreading. I have developed 2 white heads on my chin in the exact same spot i had them on Friday. i can't even get mad. I feel so ugly right now. The insurance company is giving the pharmacy a hard time in covering the retin a cream as they think it is for cosmetic purposes - whatever.

I re read through all my topical logs and i realize how much acne sucks - things never got better, maybe they never will. I don't think i am emotionally strong enough to deal with another topical, medication or accutane. I just want to give up for good.

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(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/19/2014 11:02 am

Everyday is worse than the day before. Another lump on my cheek - left mouth has 5 hard bumps in addition to clogged pores. Also above those clogs is a hard lump in the making.

My pharmacy says insurance won't cover retin a so it wants me to pay 100 - not gonna happen without a fight as:

  • i don't have that kind of money for a products that after one use may flare my eczema
  • i'm not sure i want to try retinoids again

Hating my acne and feeling like it will never get better. I want to go back on accutane for real

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(@kim28)

Posted : 07/19/2014 10:09 pm

Hey Leelowe.

So sorry to hear you are feeling shitty. I know what it is like, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (well, maybe my WORST enemy).

I too had issues with BP (eczema like rashes) when I first tried it. I found I was able to avoid this by mixing it in with my moisturizer. I put a small amount (not like Dan's recommendation, more like a pea size) into a bit of moisturizer, and have never had rash issues since.

I'm also not sure about retinoids. I used a retin A cream as a teen when my acne was mild and not cystic (looking back, I barely had acne), and it was great then. As an adult with cystic acne, it always just seemed to make it more inflamed and no better. But everyone is different, so it might be worth a try?

In regards to the Accutane, have you read any of the recent research on low dose therapy? Typically it means taking a lower dose (10 mg a day or every other day) for MUCH longer (often a year or two), but many derms are finding this route effective for persistent acne (people who have taken normal courses and continue to relapse). It is what my derm has recommended if my acne decides to come back and torture me again.

I hope you find some peace of mind soon.

:)

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/20/2014 12:21 pm

Hey Leelowe.

So sorry to hear you are feeling shitty. I know what it is like, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (well, maybe my WORST enemy).

I too had issues with BP (eczema like rashes) when I first tried it. I found I was able to avoid this by mixing it in with my moisturizer. I put a small amount (not like Dan's recommendation, more like a pea size) into a bit of moisturizer, and have never had rash issues since.

I'm also not sure about retinoids. I used a retin A cream as a teen when my acne was mild and not cystic (looking back, I barely had acne), and it was great then. As an adult with cystic acne, it always just seemed to make it more inflamed and no better. But everyone is different, so it might be worth a try?

In regards to the Accutane, have you read any of the recent research on low dose therapy? Typically it means taking a lower dose (10 mg a day or every other day) for MUCH longer (often a year or two), but many derms are finding this route effective for persistent acne (people who have taken normal courses and continue to relapse). It is what my derm has recommended if my acne decides to come back and torture me again.

I hope you find some peace of mind soon.

 

Thanks Kim! I am done with BP for good. I regret using it as it has made my skin sensitized to a lot of things. I emailed my derm about a low dose form of tane so just waiting back to hear. If she's open to it then I will forgo the retin a as i hate the purging phase, redness, peeling and constant irritation that goes along with it (and considering my skin is not as tough as it was.....). I have also started looking around for other derms who may be open to tane. It seems pointless to try again but there are no other options open to me at this time. I probably have the most persistent case of acne a lot of derms have seen and i break out everyday. It may not be severe but to me it is devastating and obvious (since i don't wear makeup). Having acne has the implications to hold me back career wise as i want to be an administrator someday and I can't expect parents, students and colleagues to take me seriously with a face full of acne.

Feeling so unpretty

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(@kim28)

Posted : 07/20/2014 1:13 pm

Hey are you a teacher? I am! I teach grade 6, although I was an elementary school music teacher for a long time before that. Also thinking of admin in the future, but not sure yet if I want all the crap that goes with it!

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(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/20/2014 1:20 pm

I am ! I teach pre k special ed. Admin is work, believe me and I have yet to see someone in admin with acne. 6th grade? My hats off to you.

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(@cw24)

Posted : 07/20/2014 1:43 pm

I feel you on how its holding you back on your career. Im a certified police officer and right now looking for a department to get hired on to. How many police officers have you seen with a face full of acne... fml lol

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/20/2014 6:49 pm

I feel you on how its holding you back on your career. Im a certified police officer and right now looking for a department to get hired on to. How many police officers have you seen with a face full of acne... fml lol

Good Luck! I definitely respect anyone that wants to go into law enforcement. I haven't seen many cops with acne but i think you should still go ahead and do what makes you happy.

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/22/2014 2:22 pm

So this will NOT be a woe is me acne update because, TODAY ismy 31st BIRTHDAY!!!!!! I am so blessed to be here another year with friends and family inspite of acne. Gonna watch a movie in the park with 1 of my good friends and God Daughter and maybe eat some cake....gasp!

On a very brief acne note, i think my lack of a proper skin regimen has contributed to the decline of my skin big time. I don't recall having this big of an issue with clogged pores. And the fact that it is occuring on the lower part of my face that is dry well....enough said. My wonderful derm has offered to give me a salyicic acid based acne system for free since I had to pay out of pocket for retin a which flared my eczema. SA is supposed to be gentler than BP and help with the clogged pores so maybe....... She also wants to give me spiro but after reading up on the hormonal implications of it, i'm not sure I want to do it. BC was such a nightmare for me. My goal is to possibly get back on accutane, a low dose and go from there but who knows what God has planned for me.

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(@cw24)

Posted : 07/22/2014 4:22 pm

Happy Birthday!

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54
(@kim28)

Posted : 07/22/2014 7:10 pm

Happy birthday!

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/25/2014 6:05 pm

85 days post BP

42 days juicing (give or take a few missed days)

Flaring on my chin. 3 inflamed pimples 2 underground red ones. Sides of mouth broken out as usual. Left cheek has 3 pimples (smaller). Side of nose has 1.

I hate my skin. My birthday was Tuesday so i threw caution to the wind and ate how i wanted: spicy food, brown rice, steak, birthday cake (gluten free/dairy free). I've been this broken out even on my strict eating so at least i'm comforted by that. I'm gonna start the SA on Sunday night and see how it goes. Still waiting to hear back from derm about other options besides Spiro. Starting to think it would be easier to just learn to live with my mild-moderate acne than to fight it.

Still considering accutane even after my the lack of results from my last course - i guess i really am desperate.

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(@lilly75)

Posted : 07/25/2014 11:43 pm

I'm a bit late - but Happy Birthday! :D hope you enjoyed your day

Also totally understand what you were all saying about acne and careers. I'm still at uni studying speech pathology but the anxiety / insecurity my skin creates can really impact my clinical learning / therapy sessions. I'm still working with kids right now but I'm always worried my skin makes a bad impression on parents etc. Luckily I haven't had anyone say anything about my skin yet though (not even the kids). I did work a little with a speech pathologist last year though as part of my undergraduate degree and she happened to have severe acne which I found 'reassuring' which I know sounds a bit weird. I guess it's just working on anxiety / confidence which will help me the most. And accepting my skin and self - that doesn't mean I stop working toward clear skin but I hope it makes things a bit easier to deal with somehow

Hope the SA works well for you once you start it :)

Question - if it comes to it, would you choose low dose accutane over spiro? Spiro or birth control is always at the back of my mind as something to try - and lately they've seemed more and more appealing. I'm over topicals alone haha

Did you ever have any problems / side effects from accutane in the past?

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(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/26/2014 9:22 am

I'm a bit late - but Happy Birthday! hope you enjoyed your day

Also totally understand what you were all saying about acne and careers. I'm still at uni studying speech pathology but the anxiety / insecurity my skin creates can really impact my clinical learning / therapy sessions. I'm still working with kids right now but I'm always worried my skin makes a bad impression on parents etc. Luckily I haven't had anyone say anything about my skin yet though (not even the kids). I did work a little with a speech pathologist last year though as part of my undergraduate degree and she happened to have severe acne which I found 'reassuring' which I know sounds a bit weird. I guess it's just working on anxiety / confidence which will help me the most. And accepting my skin and self - that doesn't mean I stop working toward clear skin but I hope it makes things a bit easier to deal with somehow

Hope the SA works well for you once you start it

Question - if it comes to it, would you choose low dose accutane over spiro? Spiro or birth control is always at the back of my mind as something to try - and lately they've seemed more and more appealing. I'm over topicals alone haha

Did you ever have any problems / side effects from accutane in the past?

Thank You! It was an awesome day and I was with people i loved. I am hesitant to try spiro because like BCP, it messes with hormones and you've heard the horror stories of people who have come off BCP (worse acne, cystic, etc, etc, etc). Spiro also has an infamous initial breakout that can take 3-6 months to resolve if it works for you. I guess at the end of the day, all the people on here that have taken Spiro did not have the acne that i have so i am doubtful it would work for me.

Accutane side effects were the worse on my last course because i developed eczema which i never had before and my skin was so dry and red and just ugh but in terms of long term side effects, I don't think I have any - whether or not something shows up down the line, i don't know. I don't think my derm wants to go that route but I definitely do as my acne is spreading ( found a neck pimple today as well as 3 near my jawline - ugh.

She said to start with the salicylic acid was twice a week to see how i react - this is gonna be a long process

congrats on your educational pathway! I work with kids and I have had a few bring it up but not in a mean way ( they're 4 and 5) The adults are the worse when they stare and give advice. You want to be like STFU.

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(@kim28)

Posted : 07/26/2014 1:13 pm

My acne was very similar to you and hormonal methods have worked great for me. Accutane never stuck, and I do break out again when I go off my anti-androgens, but I'm not so sure that after the initial flare of your body accepting it's not taking hormones anymore that acne is much worse than it was before. It might seem worse because you are older and your skin doesn't bounce back like it used to. And I think people are just surprised that their acne came back. Well no shit, sherlock, you never stopped having acne, you just had it under control.

I truly believe that spiro/diane/yaz are the best treatments out there for adult women with acne, and there is no reason you have to stop taking them prior to menopause (or even during necessarily).

Any acne treatment you find that works comes with the risk of relapse after.

Hope you find your solution soon, but I don't think 'learning to live with it' is the one you should feel you have to choose.

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/26/2014 11:08 pm

My acne was very similar to you and hormonal methods have worked great for me. Accutane never stuck, and I do break out again when I go off my anti-androgens, but I'm not so sure that after the initial flare of your body accepting it's not taking hormones anymore that acne is much worse than it was before. It might seem worse because you are older and your skin doesn't bounce back like it used to. And I think people are just surprised that their acne came back. Well no shit, sherlock, you never stopped having acne, you just had it under control.

I truly believe that spiro/diane/yaz are the best treatments out there for adult women with acne, and there is no reason you have to stop taking them prior to menopause (or even during necessarily).

Any acne treatment you find that works comes with the risk of relapse after.

Hope you find your solution soon, but I don't think 'learning to live with it' is the one you should feel you have to choose.

So you're on Spiro after your accutane course? Does it keep you clear? I guess the older I get, the more hesitant I am to try new things. When i first came off BCP, my acne turned into he creature from the black lagoon and descended to a level i never knew was possible, hence my 1st course of tane. The idea that this drug with its ability to manipulate hormones can do something similar is soul crushing to me, especially since I have not had to deal with cysts in a while.

My acne is just always (before, during and after period) there and has pus and does not present as those deep pimples as much but moreso a ton of inflamed pimples with and without pus and clogs.

I may have to take the chance though as things are spreading so we'll see.

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement - i need it.

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/27/2014 6:11 pm

So i used the SA face wash and it didn't burn or sting but then again i only had it on for 10 seconds. Face feels the same. The breakouts have been increasing and moving towards my jaw and back up to my lip area. I even had some on my cheeks. This is awful. The feeling of utter helplessness is terrifying. My chin is becoming a war zone with some deep red pimples (at the picnic i went to yesterday, my friends' dog got a few licks in on my chin so no surprise there). No one who has not experienced acne to some degree will ever understand the debilitating feeling of hating to see your reflection in the mirror. It's like disregarding an entire part of you. I don't forsee this getting better.....ever

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(@kim28)

Posted : 07/27/2014 8:12 pm

I am on Diane, not spiro, but they do essentially the same thing. Diane is a BCP, though, which you said was not great for you, so maybe spiro is a good option - just the anti-androgen effect without the other hormones? And I believe that Diane is banned in the states. Sometimes I wonder with the banning of Diane and the hoops you have to go through for Accutane down there if big pharma really just wants us to all have acne forever because the topical market is so much more lucrative.

I'm so sad you're feeling sad. I know exactly what it is like. I live in fear of it everyday. Prior to my first course of Accutane I struggled for many years with hating myself. I was seeing a therapist, and being put on all sort of anti-depressants. I kept saying it was the acne that was the problem, and they kept saying no - I was just depressed. Then I did the Accutane and my depression magically vanished. Acne is such a bitch, and no one who doesn't have it understands at all.

Be strong.

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/27/2014 8:23 pm

Thanks Kim. Lord knows i'm trying. I think that there is an acne cure out there but they'd never give it to us because if acne can be cured, then there's no money to be made. Yes, BCP are the devil for me. Still considering Spiro - worried about the infamous IB and having to wait 6 mnths to see if there will be improvement. I used the SA wash today and i think it has started purging my skin - getting pimples coming up in areas that were clear for a while - is that even possible? Im just breaking out so much daily i don't know what is what and NOTHING is healing. I have a derm appt tomorrow with a new derm and i'm gonna try and pitch tane to him and i also have a phone conference with my current derm on Tuesday so i'll also try to get her input on low dose accutane. I think because i have allowed my acne to remain untreated for so long, it has gotten a good foot hold and treating it with weak topicals such as SA won't do much.

Pray for me hun - I know I am not emotionally strong enough for this but God is.

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(@squirrelmonkey)

Posted : 07/28/2014 4:38 pm

Hey leelowe,

I'm really interested in hearing your updates and seeing your pics; my acne and skin type seems to be along the same lines as yours: oily, clogged, always bumpy, pus-filled, and often inflammatory. I can relate to how you said that you feel like the bacteria has run rampant on your face, and the fears that even if you safely pop a pustule, a nice little colony of others will take its place!

Epiduo/Tactuo worked really well for me (to a certain extent), but then my eyes started getting really bad and I found out that I had Meibomian Gland Dysfunction. I would've been content to use it for the rest of my life if my eyes were not at stake. So, I have since quit the topicals and have been breaking out more and more. Like you, I am very frustrated that it seems as if there is no cause and effect (I mean, isn't there a reason we have to suffer through this diet-restricted lifestyle?!?!).

Please keep updating and posting pics, I would love to keep hearing how your acne is doing, especially with your skin type!! I admire your positivity and hope I can reach that state of mind soon.

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568
(@leelowe1)

Posted : 07/28/2014 8:18 pm

Hey leelowe,

I'm really interested in hearing your updates and seeing your pics; my acne and skin type seems to be along the same lines as yours: oily, clogged, always bumpy, pus-filled, and often inflammatory. I can relate to how you said that you feel like the bacteria has run rampant on your face, and the fears that even if you safely pop a pustule, a nice little colony of others will take its place!

Epiduo/Tactuo worked really well for me (to a certain extent), but then my eyes started getting really bad and I found out that I had Meibomian Gland Dysfunction. I would've been content to use it for the rest of my life if my eyes were not at stake. So, I have since quit the topicals and have been breaking out more and more. Like you, I am very frustrated that it seems as if there is no cause and effect (I mean, isn't there a reason we have to suffer through this diet-restricted lifestyle?!?!).

Please keep updating and posting pics, I would love to keep hearing how your acne is doing, especially with your skin type!! I admire your positivity and hope I can reach that state of mind soon.

Why thank you! I find that logging my experiences give validity to my feelings and frustrations.

I went to another derm today to get a 2nd opinion about Spiro and surprise surprise, he diagnosed me with perioral dermatitis. I'm on the fence about this as while my acne placement is ideal for it, it doesn't itch and POD usually itches. Also, my other derm did not even mention that so i don't know. I'll post pics just for you to see with what i'm dealing with. My chin has several bumps with puss (it's gross) and the sides of my mouth have several inflamed red bumps that are multiplying. I can't believe that things have gotten so bad so quickly. Feel free to share a pic of your skin so that we can compare notes.

Interesting thing with Epiduo and your eyes. Any alternatives that you can use? I know teh feeling of having something work and then not being able to use it.

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54
(@kim28)

Posted : 07/28/2014 8:37 pm

That is an interesting new development! It could be - it's so hard to tell, but maybe worth considering and trying out what the new derm suggested. If it works better than acne treatments, then maybe that is what it is. I've heard it's often caused by fluoride, so maybe cutting that out (in toothpaste, wash face with non-tap water if it's fluoridated, etc) might help?

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