I/m a 34 year old male from Lahore, Pakistan and have been struggling with acne and all its form since my teenage years. I have tried multiple oral medication and more recently, laser and hair removal therapies. The acne appears on my face, especially near my chin and mouth area. My derm has now put me on accutane for eleven months, citing i have to fulfill the required dosage which is 16000 miligrams as per my weight. I have had accutane before but not more than 3 months.
The scarring left by acne and the acne itself has at times taken a tremendous metnal toll on my self esteem and confidence. At time i am afraid of talking to people while looking at them directly and shy away to avoid any questions relating to my skin. When i am poised with such, i just say its an allergy because of shaving.
I guess i just need to find a way to pull myself up. The derm swears that the eleven month course will yield positive results. I sure hope its worth it given the extreme dry conditions it is causing me.
I hope this doesn't offend in anyway or come across in the wrong way, I can't recommend any medicine or creams. But I can share my experience in hopes that it might help. I know exactly how you are feeling. Depression and negative thoughts are the worst.
From my own experience it has been fear of acne, the shame that it made me feel, and the belief that it was just a part of my identity after carrying it for so long. As crazy as it might sound, It wasn't until I actually started challenging those thoughts and beliefs internally, that things changed for me.
I had cystic acne for 10 long years (from 15-25) and honestly just thought that was it, there was never a time when I didn't have a pimple on my face. I felt like makeup would make it worse so I didn't always wear it, and then you just feel like everyone is always looking at you like there's something wrong with you. Some would feel sympathetic towards me which just made it even worse and to drive home the fact that there was something wrong with me. i was always in pain, physically and/or mentally. I tried tetracycline in my teens but i didn't want to live on pills for the rest of my life so i didn't continue with it. tried lots of different things from washing my face with sea salt, (dabbing it with dettol - very stupid) applying seudocrem, even using proactiv all the way to the most expensive skin care products with the dermatologist. They either did nothing or only made it worse.
I remember just being 25, had my first baby, and hoped that maybe somehow the change in hormones from pregnancy would like reboot my system and somehow give me clear skin, but that didn't work. And when my daughter looked and pointed at my face asking me what that was... it just made me sink inside. I hated my face. And everyday looking in the mirror, being reminded of what was wrong, just sucked.
I didn't find any miracle product or solution that worked. I diduse wisdom and started drinking more water instead of juice. But that was pretty much the ONLY change in my diet. The big shift really was when I just decided that I was done, I had enough, and I was going to believe that I was healed. I know it's probably a bit out there or sounds too simple, but something just rose up within me, and I decided that I didn't have to identify myself as an acne sufferer anymore. It didn't clear up in my teens like it usually does, so there was nothing else I was waiting for. I just had it. And if it was going to go away, then I had to change what I believed. And so as hard as it was, I just started looking in the mirror and telling myself that I love myself, looking at the acne and saying you are just a symptom, you have no right in my body and you have to leave. And just believing that i had a right to be healed and I wasn't going to be afraid anymore, and I didn't have to carry this "identity" any longer.
Our cells in our body they respond to what we think and what we say, i think this is why depression and negative thoughts can really affect our skin so much. Sometimes its fear that keeps that acne continuing in our body. Because we give so much attention to it. Every time we look in the mirror, it "speaks" to you, and so we feed it with our fears and worry. We're always checking on it, seeing if its still there, if it's gotten any better. It like consumes all our life and thoughts. And then it obviously becomes a circle, with the acne causing more negative thoughts. I read somewhere that whenever we have skin problems, it's almost always related to our thoughts. There is some sort of toxicity in our bodies that is trying to escape, but because of the fear that we attach to the acne, we harbor it in our bodies and it doesn't get to leave. (Of course the condition of our skin obviously correlates to what we are eating as well, but if thats the case then it clears up when rectified). But those other persistent long-seated issues, is something else going on.
Anyways, long story short, after doing that, within 6 weeks everything cleared and I no longer suffer from acne. The only thing I use on my skin is a tea-tree cream once in a while. And It's been 4 years now. I remember finding a video of me from like 8 years ago and I couldn't believe how bad it was. I guess I was just so used to it, but looking back now that my skin is clear, I realise how much it has really changed. Last year my mom actually commented on my skin and that it looks really pretty (that was without any makeup or anything). That has never happened in my life. I thought I was plagued forever but letting go of that fear, and believing that I could be healed is what did it for me.
Not sure if that resonates with you at all, but i'd be happy to answer any questions. And good luck!