This is my first post here~ hello fellow acne warriors! Really grateful to find a non judgemental, safe space like this to read things I can relate to rather than an article about someone with one spot and how they got rid of it overnight. Just, no sister. Its so important to hear real stories so that we dont feel alone or embarassed, and so we dont get trapped into believing unrealistic acne cures that will leave us disappointed, borken out and/or broke. Its so great to really understand the emotional side to acne and the struggles we have to face everyday. (Pun unintented) I'd like to share where i'm at. I have suffered from acne for 2 years, and it has never been as prevalent on my face. I only recently accepted I have acne which is sounds stupid but true. I just would say its spots but as it got worse there was no hiding away from it and makeup certainly couldnt help much. Even saying I have acne sometimes feels strange and uncformtable but thats also why im writing here now. Two things changed over those two years: 1: I became a veggie (woo hoo!) 2: Someone very dear to me passed away whilst I was finishing my degree Now becoming veggie has no links to causing acne but as I was a bit daft in my approach. I just cut out all meat and didnt replace anything. I didnt take vitamins. Nothing. I went vegan in the middle then raw briefly not really knowing what I was doing. I feel like:

A: its so important to have someone in your life to help you make these decisions in your life, reading online accounts are often too subjective/ vague/ unrealistic. Talk to someone you trust & ask questions, but also make sure you then see what is best for YOU. We all have a beautiful unique and individual experience! I didnt have anyone reach out to anyone and I wish I had.

B: go slowly. If your making changes like going veggie prepare yourself mentally and physically. Even if you believe there are health benefits to you going veggie your body needs time to adjust from years of eating meat to no meat. And if its for ethical reasons and you just can't bear to eat meat again make sure you know what you need to replace it with. This definitely had a toll on my whole system, I am still veggie but am now a helluva lot more clued up on what nutrients my dear hard-done-by body requires, and learning everyday~ yay!

2: Grief. I feel like this deserves a whole new topic thread but lets be holistic and put it all together eh! To put it simply, I watched someone I loved fade away slowly in front of me for two years. I did not allow myself to grieve until months after their passing away. This was silly, but forgivable. No one really knows how they will or should deal with such traumatic events. These are the things that exacerabated my acne during this time:

A: lack of sleep: I was sleeping on the sofa when I did get any sleep so I was close to my loved one. My sleep even then wasnt deep at all in case something happened in the night. Like a meerkat on night duty! Oh also: deadlines. Nuff said.

B: Stress: the equation of all of the above

C: lack of exercise: being a carer and studying meant no time for anything apart from those two things.

D: supressed emotions: at this time I talked to literally NO ONE about how I felt. In fact I was so good at it I even fooled myself thinking I was being strong when I was just become numb and thwarting my inner child. So here I am now. I have acne, scarring and hyperpigmentation. (Hehe pig! I sometimes wish acne had a nicer name like CONSTELLATIONEA, so you could think of your spots and cosmic wonders!) Sometimes its better, sometimes its worse. I cant pin it down to one thing so I've decided its a mixture and addressing them can only help me be an all round better person. Though I will endure suffering I will be stronger for it. I am glad to be mindful of these things but it is only half the stuff I consider on a daily basis. Skincare routine, makeup, self esteem, hormones, bullies, depression, spiritual healing, ego, anxiety: anyone ever need a spare tag I got one! So I will post more on this ol forum, thanks for anyone who made it to this sentence, you're a wonder. In the meantime, don't let anyone ANYONE trivialise your feelings. Not even yourself. They are all valid and important and all deserve a hug! *hug*