Hi guys!
My names Steph. I have been dealing with acne for 8 years now. I remember when it started, I always had oily skin growing up but when I hit freshman year of highschool I started seeing a change in my skin (and not a good one). I really can't count the amount of times that I have gone to my dermatologist... they have a file for me that is as thick as a dictionary. It got so bad my junior year and I was so depressed that I refused to go to school, I couldn't stand people looking at my skin and even a guy made a remark once saying "it looks like you have herpes" when I had a breakout around my jawline. I have had so many cortisone shots that I have honestly spent a small fortune on them... and whoever has had those shots usually knows how it feels to get an atrophy from them. I didn't even graduate highschool because I was so embarrassed of my skin that I did my senior year online. My skin is weird tho, it is very unpredictable. In the summer my skin is mostly clear but bam, fall and winter hit and I have the hormonal cystic acne covering my chin. I think I am more self-conscious then a lot of other people because when I break out bad I go into a depression, it sounds silly to some but I can't help it I don't want to go out and socialize. I don't remember a time where I left my house with no make up. If I am not breaking out in cystic acne then I still always have a lot of clogged pores, blackheads, and red marks/ some scars left behind. I always dreamed of the day that I could go camping or on a trip and I wouldn't have to worry about my skin and makeup and trying to hide the fact that I needed to apply foundation every morning. I describe it by finally feeling FREE. I don't have to plan around my skin, or worry about vacations and whether or not I will have a bad breakout. It has taken a toll on relationships, and obviously my self-confidence, and my emotional well-being. I envy the friends I have that go out drinking the night before and don't even have to worry about taking their make-up off before sleep, and then waking up and still having flawless skin. I have honestly been on so many treatments that I got to the point of hopelessness. Every antibiotic they give out for acne, I have tried it, proactiv, any topical (epiduo, aczone, retnoids, differin), have tried chemical peels, microdebrasion, was on spirolactone for 4 years. Went on birth control at 15 solely to try to help my acne and have been on it ever since (I am now 22). I hate taking medications, and have a mom that's taught me holistic ways of living. I have even tried to change my diet for acne as well but it's hormonal and even tho spirolactone helped for awhile I saw it creeping back. I want to get off birth control but am too scared. So this leads me to one of the hardest decisions I have had to  make so far in life. I have almost went on accutane 3 times in the past but would chicken out right before starting the course. Last semester I broke out so bad on my chin that even the dermatologist was concerned and suggested accutane, not because of the severity but when I do breakout the cysts are massive and he knows that I have tried everything. I finally gave in... I am so sick of having to deal with my skin. I have been on amnesteem 40mg for 25 days now. My doctor said he is going to bump me up to 80mg starting in month 3 (6 month course). I have done so much research on this drug throughout the years that I know the horror stories and I know how much it has transformed faces covered in acne all over to having porcelain skin. My decision was based of thinking that we only have one life to live and I have spent 7 years letting my acne control me and I am ready to be able to feel confident and not have to worry when my next big breakout of cysts will be. I have had some side effects tho... I am near the end (I think) of my initial breakout...Had 7 cysts come but go fairly quickly. Got a lot of pimples near my mouth (don't know if that's a common thing). The amount of blackheads coming to the surface of my skin is insane and gross. It feels rough because it's trying to pull them out and they are more black in color. I have dry skin, especially where the pimples are, cracked lips (aquaphor is my best friend), have seen a change in my vision (normally have excellent vision),things are quite blurry at times, itchy patches of skin, very tired and low energy, back pains, some tingling sensations in my fingers, and do see a bit of change in my mood (more sad and irritable than usual). I don't have to use 20 oily absorption pads daily anymore! And, I am seeing gradual changes in my skin. I still have 5 months left so I am hoping the side effects stay at bay because this really will help my quality of life. Since I have been on it I haven't been social much (I have only been out once with friends), but that also could be because I have so many classes this semester and I didn't really want to see anyone when I had so many cysts on my face. Hoping to help others with my experience and get feedback/advice from others. It would be nice to have people to talk to that have been there and know what I am going through. Thanks everyone