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Yorkielove, I read a tiny bit about your condition because I had never heard of it. I cannot imagine what that would be like, and I hope you find remission quickly. It seemed like all the literature said Accutane is a darn good cure. Thank you for sharing your story.
Meg - glad you are doing so well. Me too! Except work is a pain in my butt. Interesting how all the other stresses become more apparent. Yet, I somehow like it. Feels like living my actual life.
Looking forward to your next update.
Congrats with your two-month mark! And so sorry you haven't been feeling well. It does suck when it piles up like that, but it will all pass! I have a range of lip-products, adjusting which one I use to what I'm doing. Hope you have all you need to get through your sick period. (Like lip oils, yummy food and a whole heap of blankets!)
Jess - Yes, my cold has abated! I'm left with some sniffles, but thank goodness, it's gone. How are you feeling? I hope you were able to out-run your cold!
Queen - I was thinking of your suggestion when my lips started to get really bad! Unfortunately, my lips were so irritated that I have developed my first cold sore in YEARS (wah!), so I am going to treat that first and as soon as it is healed I will try the cortisone trick.
yorkielove - It warms my heart to hear that my logs are an encouragement to you. I have to say, I started writing these logs (and have tried to faithfully keep up with them) because I know how scary making the decision to go on accutane can be, and it was the logs of other people's experiences that helped me finally make the decision. Yes, there are people who experience bad things - but in the end, I believe this drug has helped so many more poeple than it has hurt. I think that you will be very pleased with your accutane experience and I have full faith that it will be a very helpful treatment. Because I am kind of a nerd, I read up on your condition in a few journals of dermatology, and it appears that accutane is definitely effective for your condition. Please keep us posted on your progress!
Petrichor Murmers - Thank you!! I am feeling much better now, although my lips are about the same 
I see on your log that you aren't feeling well either. I hope you feel better very, very soon! Being sick on accutane SUCKS SO MANY EGGS!
My log update:
Day 69 -
I can't believe I am almost 70 days in! Only...110 more to go? WAH 
🙁 The dose increase is definitely a bit hard to deal with. At 40 mg, iso is a piece of cake. At 60...the side effects are definitely not the most fun. I am slathering my lips with aquafor every 15 minutes or so. Well, in actuality, I am slathering the aquafor on the entire lower half of my face because the dryness has creeped past the lip line, so by the end of the day it looks like I ate an entire bucket of greasy fried chicken without wiping my face afterwards. Yummy.
My legs are also very sore in the mornings. It's still not what I would call debilitating, but much more than a mere annoyance. It almost feels like the soreness of over exertion from exercise (ha ha, yeah right!). I am also experiencing that much talked about side effect that everyone loves to hate: Brain fog. It's more than just fatigue or tiredness, it's truly like a fog in my mind that makes it hard to think things through. For example, in the middle of a sentence, I forget words for common abstracts or ideas, so I ending up saying things like:
"Well, Sally and I were talking about how stressful work has been lately, and it's nice to have someone to...you know..argh! What's that thing that two people do when they are both not happy with something and they talk about it together and then they get pleasure in eachothers mutual...unhappiness? Miser..miser..comiserate! Ok. So it's nice to have someone to comiserate with."
As such my conversations are twice as long and 3 times as boring. Not cool Iso, not cool.
And to top it all off, I think I am starting to flare-up from the increase. I have two very large and unhappy cyst/nodule combos, and I fear more to come. And BOY are they painful! My doctor told me to call him if I flare-up so he can prescribe a Z-pack, but I really hate taking antibiotics. I always feel like the side-effects are worse than the thing they are supposed to treat.
Good news: The marks from old cysts are actually fading! This makes me so happy because, for me - this means they are really gone. I notice that, with my normal acne, as soon as the pimple is healed, the mark begins to fade right away (it still takes forever to fade away completely, but I notice slight improvement on a daily basis). With my cysts, they may go down and look like they are gone (in terms of swelling) but the redness never seems to improve. Sure enough, within a month, they come back. I assume it's because the swelling is gone, but the infection underneath the surface remains active. If the spots are actually fading, then I would assume that means the area is actually healing underneath the surface.
So, activity run - down:
Actives: 3 (3 large and painful cysts)
Side effects:
Skin: Very dry. Moisturizing continues to keep rashes and such at bay, and skin seems slightly less prone to injury
Hair: Still a disaster, still dilly-dallying on doing something about it
Joints: Definitely a noticable increase in stiffness and pain
Bowels: Not much of a difference, everything seems fine except for the occasional stomach ache that seems to be food related.
Emotional/Mental side effects: Noticable brain fog. Coffee and getting enough sleep helps a bit, but it's definitely frustrating. Emotionally, I am feeling a little bit more down than normal. Since I am very familiar with how it feels to be "down" I am doing everything I can to avoid depression triggers and use the coping mechanisms I've learned over the years.
And that's all folks!
Megtree, thank you so much for the support. Yes, I'll keep you guys posted. *fingers crossed*
Good for you on having the courage to increase your dosage; I know it™s gotta be hard. I™m sorry that the side effects have increased. How long did your doctor say that the brain fog will last¦for the remainder of the treatment or will the side effects eventually die down as your body gets used to the new dosage? I™m glad the marks from the old cysts are fading! Hooray for the little victories in life 
Megtree, thank you so much for the support. Yes, I'll keep you guys posted. *fingers crossed*
Good for you on having the courage to increase your dosage; I know it™s gotta be hard. I™m sorry that the side effects have increased.
Hi Yorkie-love, actually - I have my doctor's appointment next week, I will ask him about the increased side-effects, although it has gotten a bit better. The fog may have been pms- related. I have noticed that my periods have been abnormally irritating the past 2 times...I have no idea if this is related to accutane (more likely related to my stopping spironolactone to be on accutane) but it's not fun. I will definitely let you know what the derm says though.
My skin has improved "a bit" since this last flare-up. I have only 1 active right now, and 2 are healing. Although I have only 1 active, it's a big juicy gnarly cyst from hell. It's one of those huge cysts that is so inflamed it turns your skin WHITE. Not like a white-head, but just that the blood can't get to the inflammed skin as efficiently so it looks paler than the surrounding red tinged skin. I just wish it would come to a head, but it's taking its sweet, sweet time.
The side effects are still really difficult, but they haven't gotten worse, which is good. I am still waking up with very sore legs. I wonder if taking a supplement might help? I was thinking of starting an Omega3/vitamin E combo to help with the dryness, I wonder if that will do something for my joints? I'll bring it up at my next doctor's appointment. My lips are very dry, and they are cracking at the sides (I am not sure how that happened..), which is definitely painful. Slathering on the aquafor every 15 minutes seems to help. I found something called Aquafor "lip repair" that I will try - has anyone else had luck with it?
Also, my eyes are red and stinging like crazy, and even when I remember to use the eye ointment at night, I wake up with dry, painful eyes in the morning. Blah, this is not fun.
Oh the joys of being a woman...haha. Well whether the brain fog is the result of PMS or Accutane, I hope it goes away and doesn't return. So sorry about the eye redness; that sounds uncomfortable. Do you wear contacts? I currently use contacts, and I'm wondering if I'll have to switch to glasses for a portion of the Accutane treatment.
Oh the joys of being a woman...haha. Well whether the brain fog is the result of PMS or Accutane, I hope it goes away and doesn't return. So sorry about the eye redness; that sounds uncomfortable. Do you wear contacts? I currently use contacts, and I'm wondering if I'll have to switch to glasses for a portion of the Accutane treatment.
I don't wear contacts, but I have heard from others on accutane who do wear contacts switched to glasses during their treatment. It's definitely something to ask your dermatologist about, because I imagine contacts would be pretty unbearable at the moment if I were wearing them.
I do wear contacts, and do it most of the time. Eyedrops are absolutely key. I put them in 5 minutes before I put in my lenses, and then immediately uses a drop for contact lenses. Generally I keep Refresh drops with me, and they do fairly well. As long as my eyes don't get itchy, I'm okay with my contacts in. I will say... I could wear my glasses, but they are 8 years old, they don't sit straight on my face anymore despite many adjustments, and they make me look more nerdly than ever.
MegTree and Persnickity Chick, thank you for the tips on contacts. I'll ask my dermatologist and will invest in some good eye drops. What kind of eye ointment do you use at night?
Persnickity Chick, I laughed at you nerd comment. I totally understand your hesitation to wear glasses. Mine our only a few years old, but I keep thinking that I already look broken out...I don't want to look like a nerd too. Haha. But I'm going to trust that whatever's going to happen, it'll pay off in the end
Dose 79 -
They say that breaking out is hard to do...
(hahaha...puns)
My skin and I have had a very tumultuous relationship, I admit. Things were getting too difficult. We were...growing apart. I was constantly walking on eggshells, playing the victim. My skin refused to settle down, it was angry and irritated, and I was bitter. I, unable to handle my skin's angry outbursts and extreme sensitivity tried everything I could to help my skin see that I was not the enemy. My skin resented my trying to change it, but I refused to tolerate its bad behavior. Finally, we saw the right professional, who suggested we spice up our love-life with something new.
Accutane was just the breath of fresh air we needed to make a new start in our relationship. And for a while, things were getting better. My skin started to settle down and clean-up its act. It gave me every indication that it was sorry for its past behavior, and it wanted to make amends. We were beginning to get to know each other again without all the drama to drag us down.
But the honeymoon was short-lived, and here we are: same old conversations, same old angry outbursts, same old skin. I exaggerate, yes - some things have changed for the better. Your tone, your texture, that improvement is admirable. And yes, maybe my expectations are too high. But DARN-IT SKIN! WE WERE DOING SO WELL! Why must you betray me like this?I thought you were happy, healthy, and ready to settle down and make a new life with me, but no. You let me get my hopes up, and as soon as I turn my back, you call four or five of your old buddies over to party with you...just like the old times. You don't think I saw you, dancing with those old dirty cysts? You promised me they were gone, out of the picture, never to be seen again, yet here they are, ALL OVER YOU!
How could you skin? HOW COULD YOU?
You know...really. I am not angry at you skin. I am just so very disappointed.
fin.
Ok, so - dramatic soap-operas aside....my skin is broken out again, all in the same places as before. My left side is clear-ish (I had one nodule on my cheek-bone sprout up about 4 days ago, it's flat now, but still quite red). On the right, 2 came out to play about 6 days ago and are currently healing (but not flat, unfortunately). Then another BIG one on the right side showed up about 3 days ago, it's still scabby but healing after the white-head burst. Now I have another papule/ cyst sprouting where I thought FOR SURE there wasn't going to be any more (I didn't even feel the remnants of a bump under the skin there). It's still small, but it's scary because it's not following the normal cyst rules (Usually, as soon as I feel the bump growing under the skin, I know it'll be visible in a day or so, and as soon as it's visible, it takes only a few hours to grow huge, and usually a small white-head will be visible by the end of the day or the next morning). Instead, this one just popped up out of nowhere, hurt and itched like crazy yesterday (I was sure it was going to be huge). This morning, when I woke up - it looked the same. Not bigger, not smaller, no white-head, no pain or ache. Just a red bump. :\ Blah.
I also had my dermatologist appointment today. He didn't seem discouraged but he certainly wasn't excited. I mentioned my eyes to him, and how they hurt when I blinked and that over-the-counter drops didn't seem to work. He suggested the possibility of conjunctivitis (yay) and prescribed an ointment. BUT, he mentioned that if I didn't feel better using the ointment within a couple days, I would need to see an ophthalmologist (double yay). My labs were completely normal except my cholesterol went up. But again, he was not concerned. He said it was not increasing past the rate he would expect it to increase on this medication. Well, thank goodness for small victories. He wanted to inject my skin-companions with cortisone again, but he didn't push the issue and didn't seem concerned about scarring, so I said no this time (I only like to get the injections when the cysts / nodules really hurt badly).
Side effects:
Achingly dry eyes and lips. (( I have given up on mascara, eye-liner, and any form of lip-color.
Fatigue and malaise - the malaise has become noticeable to my boyfriend, which is concerning. I am doing my best to fight it by getting out as much as possible and doing more things that I look to do, which helps keep my from ruminating. It does't feel like a major depressive episode, more like mild dysthymia. I just feel generally... "meh". I am not necessarily sad or anxious, but I am noticing a lack of pleasure in daily activities and less motivation to be sociable. I will be seeking out a new therapist. I started seeing one when I started accutane as a preventative measure and to address the damage acne has wrought on my self-esteem. Unfortunately, she seems much more interested in pointing out the things I was doing wrong in my life and my relationships, rather than discussing healthy methods of coping with my self-esteem and anxiety issues. She has focused on the idea that my outlook on life is flawed, and the kicker from our last session: That acne isn't "traumatizing" (despite the plethora of psychological studies showing the exact opposite), I am simply vain for being so concerned by it (thanks for that little tidbit!). She also suggested that I was being 'weak' by feeling down, and that if I just "did more stuff" I would feel better. GENIUS! For all those who suffer from debilitating depression and anxiety: JUST DO MORE STUFF. If you don't feel like it because your FREAKING DEPRESSED, well....that's your fault.
*breath*
and that's all for side-effects at the moment. Sorry for the rant guys, needed to get that off my chest. Thanks!
I always love reading your blog, Meg, and this was no exception. I'm sorry you've got companions again. I really hope that they go away quickly, and without scarring.
I am going to the derm shortly. I am curious about what she will suggest for me.
Hi Jess,
Thank you so much! It helps me so much to know that I am not in this alone, and if I can help someone else in the same way even a little bit, I'm happy. I really hope your derm can provide a good solution for your back and joint pain. I did a little research on the side-effect (it seems to effect about 10% of people, so it looks like a relatively common issue), and lowering the dosage seems like a really helpful option that works for many.
Meg, so sorry you are having a bit of a crappy moment. I'm sure it will pass, and is probably related to upping your dose. Just gets the crap out quicker, and it will be over soon. I remember being frustrated that I was still breaking out a bit around days 70-80 ish, and I never even increased my dose. Since about day 85 I have been clear (except that freaky one under my eye - but it was short lived).
I found it really helped me to set my day 100 goal, and try to not get down before I hit it. Lo and behold, day 100 was almost exactly when I started to feel a sense that I didn't need to be afraid anymore - it was over.
Back when I fought this in my 20s, I had a lot of psychologists and such tell me that what I needed was some anti-depressants so I would stop 'obsessing' about my skin. I really started to think there was something wrong with my brain. I got told more than once that I should "get out and go for a walk". Then I did my Accutane course and miraculously, all my depression and 'obsessive behaviours' went away. Life can be a bit ridiculous sometimes - I hope you find someone to talk to that isn't a moron.
Looking forward to your next update. Hang in there.
Meg, so sorry you are having a bit of a crappy moment. I'm sure it will pass, and is probably related to upping your dose. Just gets the crap out quicker, and it will be over soon. I remember being frustrated that I was still breaking out a bit around days 70-80 ish, and I never even increased my dose. Since about day 85 I have been clear (except that freaky one under my eye - but it was short lived).
I found it really helped me to set my day 100 goal, and try to not get down before I hit it. Lo and behold, day 100 was almost exactly when I started to feel a sense that I didn't need to be afraid anymore - it was over.
Back when I fought this in my 20s, I had a lot of psychologists and such tell me that what I needed was some anti-depressants so I would stop 'obsessing' about my skin. I really started to think there was something wrong with my brain. I got told more than once that I should "get out and go for a walk". Then I did my Accutane course and miraculously, all my depression and 'obsessive behaviours' went away. Life can be a bit ridiculous sometimes - I hope you find someone to talk to that isn't a moron.
Looking forward to your next update. Hang in there.
I feel the same, but avoiding Accutane due to a disease I have. But acne is causing me not to eat and suffering horrible depression. When it's better, I'm not depressed! Gasp how amazing, huh doctors? Did you do well on Accutane and did it make your acne worse? Thanks in advance. Looking into extremely low dose therapy (if anything, for my mental sanity)
Meg your therapist sounds truly awful. You are right to find someone who will support and understand you. I'm finding it very difficult just now to get out and about, I have a job which puts me directly in the public eye and it takes all my effort to do this after that I just want to hide away. You are not alone and will get through this stay strong x
Thanks again for the support everyone!
I am on day 85...everything seems...stable. No new actives at the moment, everything is in it's healing stage. What concerns me at this point is that I can still feel a few dormant ones under my skin that I know will make an appearance eventually...grr, when will they ever go away? I hope perhaps they will just slowly disappear, give up the good fight, and die with some Gar Darn Dignity.
I have a formal event coming up in less than two weeks, and I am desperately hoping that my skin chooses to behave for this event. I am very excited, I found my dress! It's a beautiful champagne-gold sequin v-neckline that (if I can just toot my own horn) is very flattering to my figure. I have no idea how to accessorize it or what to do with my hair or make-up though. I haven't been to a formal event since prom, and...well...my idea of accessorizing is a cute scarf from Target. So...in these cases...a fairy God mother is supposed to appear, say some magical words (bippity..boppity...bee? boo? something like that?), wave a magic wand and Bob's Your Uncle that takes care of that, right? Right?!
Sigh.
I am experiencing two very aggravating side effects that will not quit.
1) Painful leg cramps overnight. If feels like I am sleeping under a weighted blanket. Luckily, it does not bother me during the day.
2) Two awful words: ANGULAR. CHELITIS. Blah! The right side of my lip has a constant, itchy ketchup stain. Anyone have any suggestions? Cortisone maybe? Letting it heal on it's own does not seem to be an option, and surprisingly, lip-ointment seems to make it worse.
Meg, so sorry you are having a bit of a crappy moment. I'm sure it will pass, and is probably related to upping your dose. Just gets the crap out quicker, and it will be over soon. I remember being frustrated that I was still breaking out a bit around days 70-80 ish, and I never even increased my dose. Since about day 85 I have been clear (except that freaky one under my eye - but it was short lived).
I found it really helped me to set my day 100 goal, and try to not get down before I hit it. Lo and behold, day 100 was almost exactly when I started to feel a sense that I didn't need to be afraid anymore - it was over.
Back when I fought this in my 20s, I had a lot of psychologists and such tell me that what I needed was some anti-depressants so I would stop 'obsessing' about my skin. I really started to think there was something wrong with my brain. I got told more than once that I should "get out and go for a walk". Then I did my Accutane course and miraculously, all my depression and 'obsessive behaviours' went away. Life can be a bit ridiculous sometimes - I hope you find someone to talk to that isn't a moron.
Looking forward to your next update. Hang in there.
I feel the same, but avoiding Accutane due to a disease I have. But acne is causing me not to eat and suffering horrible depression. When it's better, I'm not depressed! Gasp how amazing, huh doctors? Did you do well on Accutane and did it make your acne worse? Thanks in advance. Looking into extremely low dose therapy (if anything, for my mental sanity)
Meg, so sorry you are having a bit of a crappy moment. I'm sure it will pass, and is probably related to upping your dose. Just gets the crap out quicker, and it will be over soon. I remember being frustrated that I was still breaking out a bit around days 70-80 ish, and I never even increased my dose. Since about day 85 I have been clear (except that freaky one under my eye - but it was short lived).
I found it really helped me to set my day 100 goal, and try to not get down before I hit it. Lo and behold, day 100 was almost exactly when I started to feel a sense that I didn't need to be afraid anymore - it was over.
Back when I fought this in my 20s, I had a lot of psychologists and such tell me that what I needed was some anti-depressants so I would stop 'obsessing' about my skin. I really started to think there was something wrong with my brain. I got told more than once that I should "get out and go for a walk". Then I did my Accutane course and miraculously, all my depression and 'obsessive behaviours' went away. Life can be a bit ridiculous sometimes - I hope you find someone to talk to that isn't a moron.
Looking forward to your next update. Hang in there.
I feel the same, but avoiding Accutane due to a disease I have. But acne is causing me not to eat and suffering horrible depression. When it's better, I'm not depressed! Gasp how amazing, huh doctors? Did you do well on Accutane and did it make your acne worse? Thanks in advance. Looking into extremely low dose therapy (if anything, for my mental sanity)
Hi Elk -
Accutane has, beyond a shadow of a doubt, made my skin better. I am much MUCH happier now than I was this time last year, suffering with new breakouts every-day. Yes, I am still breaking out, and yes, that really stinks. But I would happily tell anyone that accutane has improved my outlook when it comes to my skin, and my skin is now very rarely the source of pain (just 4 months ago it might as well have been the source of all the world's problems to me).
I have a theory about this weird dichotomy with accutane: Why would you still be depressed even though your skin is improving, unless accutane is affecting your mood? My thought it this (at least in my case): When I am not obsessing over my skin, I find other things to obsess about. I obsess over my job, over my relationships, over my future, my weight etc. The problem is, when you have ONE major thing to obsess about for a very long time, and than that thing is fixed to the point that you don't obsess anymore, your brain will still find something to obsess over because it has become a habit. A habit is not something easily broken (in fact, it's probably the hardest thing most people have ever done!). This is why it's important for acne sufferers to seek out mental health support, because fixing the acne does not fix the habit of obsessing.
*gets off soapbox* With that being said, even with all the annoying side-effects, I am very happy with my choice.
If you're still with me Elkhound, I looked over some of the topics you posted and can see you have a really strong ambivalence about taking accutane, but I do urge you to discuss your concerns with a good dermatologist. At the very least, you will feel better in knowing what options are available to you. In terms of your disordered eating, I have some experience that might help you, so feel free to PM me anytime.
2) Two awful words: ANGULAR. CHELITIS. Blah! The right side of my lip has a constant, itchy ketchup stain. Anyone have any suggestions? Cortisone maybe? Letting it heal on it's own does not seem to be an option, and surprisingly, lip-ointment seems to make it worse.
I read something earlier today--1% hydrocortisone ointment works. I have it myself (BEFORE taking Accutane, so I don't imagine that's going to improve), so I've filed that away in my memory bank.
2) Two awful words: ANGULAR. CHELITIS. Blah! The right side of my lip has a constant, itchy ketchup stain. Anyone have any suggestions? Cortisone maybe? Letting it heal on it's own does not seem to be an option, and surprisingly, lip-ointment seems to make it worse.
I read something earlier today--1% hydrocortisone ointment works. I have it myself (BEFORE taking Accutane, so I don't imagine that's going to improve), so I've filed that away in my memory bank.
Thanks Kim! Actually, my derm called me today and told me that I can use the steroid cream he prescribed for my rashes on the chelitis, and low and behold, it seems to be working!
Megtree, thanks for your helpful thoughts on "obessessing". I've never looked at it that way before, and it's definitely something to keep in perspective. I feel like this acne battle is just as much mental as it is physical. Haha.
I totally agree!
Thanks Kim! Actually, my derm called me today and told me that I can use the steroid cream he prescribed for my rashes on the chelitis, and low and behold, it seems to be working!
Awesome! It worked for me too. I put some cream on the corners of my lips last night, and I was free and clear of the chelitis this morning!
Meg, so sorry you are having a bit of a crappy moment. I'm sure it will pass, and is probably related to upping your dose. Just gets the crap out quicker, and it will be over soon. I remember being frustrated that I was still breaking out a bit around days 70-80 ish, and I never even increased my dose. Since about day 85 I have been clear (except that freaky one under my eye - but it was short lived).
I found it really helped me to set my day 100 goal, and try to not get down before I hit it. Lo and behold, day 100 was almost exactly when I started to feel a sense that I didn't need to be afraid anymore - it was over.
Back when I fought this in my 20s, I had a lot of psychologists and such tell me that what I needed was some anti-depressants so I would stop 'obsessing' about my skin. I really started to think there was something wrong with my brain. I got told more than once that I should "get out and go for a walk". Then I did my Accutane course and miraculously, all my depression and 'obsessive behaviours' went away. Life can be a bit ridiculous sometimes - I hope you find someone to talk to that isn't a moron.
Looking forward to your next update. Hang in there.
I feel the same, but avoiding Accutane due to a disease I have. But acne is causing me not to eat and suffering horrible depression. When it's better, I'm not depressed! Gasp how amazing, huh doctors? Did you do well on Accutane and did it make your acne worse? Thanks in advance. Looking into extremely low dose therapy (if anything, for my mental sanity)
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Meg, so sorry you are having a bit of a crappy moment. I'm sure it will pass, and is probably related to upping your dose. Just gets the crap out quicker, and it will be over soon. I remember being frustrated that I was still breaking out a bit around days 70-80 ish, and I never even increased my dose. Since about day 85 I have been clear (except that freaky one under my eye - but it was short lived).
I found it really helped me to set my day 100 goal, and try to not get down before I hit it. Lo and behold, day 100 was almost exactly when I started to feel a sense that I didn't need to be afraid anymore - it was over.
Back when I fought this in my 20s, I had a lot of psychologists and such tell me that what I needed was some anti-depressants so I would stop 'obsessing' about my skin. I really started to think there was something wrong with my brain. I got told more than once that I should "get out and go for a walk". Then I did my Accutane course and miraculously, all my depression and 'obsessive behaviours' went away. Life can be a bit ridiculous sometimes - I hope you find someone to talk to that isn't a moron.
Looking forward to your next update. Hang in there.
I feel the same, but avoiding Accutane due to a disease I have. But acne is causing me not to eat and suffering horrible depression. When it's better, I'm not depressed! Gasp how amazing, huh doctors? Did you do well on Accutane and did it make your acne worse? Thanks in advance. Looking into extremely low dose therapy (if anything, for my mental sanity)
Hi Elk -
Accutane has, beyond a shadow of a doubt, made my skin better. I am much MUCH happier now than I was this time last year, suffering with new breakouts every-day. Yes, I am still breaking out, and yes, that really stinks. But I would happily tell anyone that accutane has improved my outlook when it comes to my skin, and my skin is now very rarely the source of pain (just 4 months ago it might as well have been the source of all the world's problems to me).
I have a theory about this weird dichotomy with accutane: Why would you still be depressed even though your skin is improving, unless accutane is affecting your mood? My thought it this (at least in my case): When I am not obsessing over my skin, I find other things to obsess about. I obsess over my job, over my relationships, over my future, my weight etc. The problem is, when you have ONE major thing to obsess about for a very long time, and than that thing is fixed to the point that you don't obsess anymore, your brain will still find something to obsess over because it has become a habit. A habit is not something easily broken (in fact, it's probably the hardest thing most people have ever done!). This is why it's important for acne sufferers to seek out mental health support, because fixing the acne does not fix the habit of obsessing.
*gets off soapbox* With that being said, even with all the annoying side-effects, I am very happy with my choice.
If you're still with me Elkhound, I looked over some of the topics you posted and can see you have a really strong ambivalence about taking accutane, but I do urge you to discuss your concerns with a good dermatologist. At the very least, you will feel better in knowing what options are available to you. In terms of your disordered eating, I have some experience that might help you, so feel free to PM me anytime.
Hey I'm still here just busy lately sorry. Yeah I've gone back to normal eating. I wouldn't recommend the extreme diets on these forums they don't work and would just cause malnutrition in the end anyway. Dairy might be one thing to get off though I do know it makes acne worse due to the cows hormones. If they do work, it never cures acne, just delays it and deprives the body.
Either way though, Accutane may be too dangerous to me given my past although my derm never seemed worried about it. But Accutane is nothing to fool around with and the doses are too high here. The brain fog is likely due to stress on the parathyroid glands (these glands when malfunctioning cause MAJOR brain fog I would know--I had the disease and Accutane can cause high calcium levels, which is what the parathyroid glands control in a delicate balance). So you aren't depressed--more than likely you are experiencing fatigue. When I tried vitamin A dosing for acne and cod liver oil I experienced horrible fatigue and symptoms like yours. The cod causes an IB and works but it seems too much for me and if I were to do that I might as well take Accutane.
As for obsessing it's more now about pain control when I resorted to the bad diet stuff. I get painful cysts that damage the skin ( sometimes nickel sized) and seems to cause hard nodular like tissue. It hurts just to brush hair and I just cry on my boyfriends shoulder. Now I am getting a lot on my back. I can barely think due to the itchiness and in my degree that's a bad thing. Thanks for logs like these though...it lets me see how people are doing on this drug and see two sides to form an opinion. No question Acctuane changes something permanently. I mean, how else would it 'cure' acne in some cases? I feel it's nothing to mess around with, By the way, any issues with your hair? =)
So - these pictures are actually 5 days old, but...this is my 90(ish) day picture post to show my progress. Now I have a couple of caveats to these picture I would like for you all to keep in mind:
1) The lighting in my bathroom brings out the redness in my skin quite a bit. This, coupled with my crappy iphone camera, makes it look a little worse than I think it actually is (and what I think is all that counts...right? RIGHT?)
2) I am actually still a bit broken out in this picture (I have a cyst on my left cheek that has since healed almost completely).
So - to me, quite a bit of improvement from my day-one picture. I am still dealing with quite a bit of PIH. But, except for the one stubborn cyst in those pictures, I have no. active. acne. No bumps. No ouchies. Nada. Ssssssh dont say a word. We can't let the evil acne imps hear me say that. It's our little secret, ok?
Today marks day 96 for me. I am almost nearing the 100 day mark. Because I am a big nerd, I have been charting my facial progress since day one. Once I get to the 100 mark, I will post a picture of the chart accompanying my data. Basically, the pattern I've noticed is pretty simple. Since my initial break-out, I have broken out 2 times (so, basically once a month since I started accutane). The peak of my initial breakout was on day 27, and I had 8-9 cysts. It took about a week to heal, and by day 34 I was completely active free. This lasted until my 2nd breakout, which began on day 46, and peaked on day 53 with 4-5 cysts. I was clear again by day 60 (about 7 days of healing) and it lasted until day 71. I peaked again on day 79 with 3-4 cysts. I was clear at day 86, and am still active free. So the (admittedly statistically unreliable but clearly present) pattern is as follows:
Average time between peaks: 26 days
Average time between start of breakout and next breakout: 27 days
Average time between Peak of Breakout and resolution: 7 days
Average time between resolution and next breakout peak: 19 days.
Cool huh? I can predict the start of my next break-out will be in 2 days (crap, the day of my formal event! The one time I hope I am wrong...) and the peak will be in about 9 days. Now, the most optimistic part: my breakouts have become less severe with each flare-up. If I plot the Ordinary Least Squares line, assuming my pattern remains stable for the rest of my course, I should stop breaking out by....*gasp* dose 180! That's the last day of my dose! BOOM.
