Hi, everyone. I've been reading acne.org and poring (pun semi-intended, heh heh) over it for suggestions for what to do about my crappy, crappy skin for a long time, but never really posted anything. But now seems like as good of a time as any...
You see, I'm due to start my second course of accutane in 10 days. I'm also currently waist-deep in the most grueling and stressful period of my life thus far, so writing a log seemed... I don't know, therapeutic.
A little about me: I'm a 23 year-old-lady. I have an impossibly gorgeous boyfriend who loves me despite my gross skin (what a peach, right?) and a fluffy little pink-nosed cat. Beyond that, my identity and soul are pretty much totally consumed by my job. I'm currently a mid-level staffer in a fairly high-profile political campaign in the United States. I work 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. I believe in what I'm doing, but it stresses me out. I will be talking some about work in this log (afterall, it's pretty much all I do!), but for obvious reasons I'll be leaving identifying details out, at least until November 6th.
About the hot mess known as "my face": Complete disaster. I mean, it's gotten slightly better since my derm gave me epiduo, duac, and bactrim while I wait for stooopid Ipledge to decide I'm ~*~definitely not pregnant~*~, but that's not saying much. Like, it's now a "devastating hurricane aftermath-level" disaster, while before it was "massive nuclear meltdown" grade. It looks really, really, like-way-super-bad, is what I'm telling you.
I had ok skin throughout the "traditional" teenage acne years- not great, super oily, but meh. It wasn't until I started college that I developed really intense cystic acne. After trying everything ever, I did my first course of accutane towards the end of my 20th year of life. It was easy-peasy, minimal side effects, skin cleared up. I stopped getting cystic acne. I would still get little zits if I got lazy about washing my face, but nothing horrible.
I was unsatisfied, though. I never had the "pretty" skin I dreamed of. I wanted it to look dewy and glowy and nice. But it just looked... blah. I mean, I was pimple-free (which is an idea that is now so amazing and glorious I hear angelic choirs and see rainbows when I say it in my head), but I still had congested pores and just general unprettyness.
Sooo that's where I messed up. I'm pretty crunchy, I eat organic foods and try to cut down on the amount of synthetic chemicals I introduce into my body ("so, obviously, accutane fits right into that," I hear you saying sarcastically- but, desperate times!) so after a ton of research and hearing amazing things about it I decided to try the OCM (oil cleanse method, for those of you lucky enough to have never heard of it). I was skeptical, but every lady with baby-butt skin and a blog raved about it, and how you would look so flawless and radiant and not have to give your money to THE BEAUTY INDUSTRY MAN, so I headed to amazon and stocked up on all kinds of lovely, highest-quality, organic, cold-pressed beauty oils.
Too bad the whole thing made me break out like an MF'er. "It's just your skin purging itself of built-up impurities!" said the blogs. Yeah, ok. I gave it 3 whole months, every day expecting the growing constellation of whiteheads on my face to give way to the flawless natural complexion I felt entitled to (OCM is hard work, you guys, you have to run your shower for a million years to get steam and launder SO. MANY. WASHCLOTHS.), but lol nope. It just kept getting worse and worse until finally I accepted that obviously this was a terrible idea, and got to work trying to fix my skin using over-the-counter acne products. But, by that point, it was too far gone.
Long story short, I'm tired of fighting to get people to take me seriously in the already cutthroat and cruel industry I work in with a face full of angry volcanic monsters. I'm already pretty young, so I see the "why should I listen to you, you're obviously like 12" looks written all over people's faces when I meet with them to talk shop. So it's not even just an issue of being insecure about feeling unattractive, it also makes me feel like people perceive me as unprofessional and unqualified. I'm simply not ok with that. Accutane it is, then.
So, T-minus 10 days. If you made it through that wall of text, help me decide what products to buy to deal with being back on the stuff. The more natural, the better, in my opinion... but I'm nervous about anything containing oils, especially castor, grapeseed, or jojoba, since those were what was involved in my OCM MIXTURE FROM HELL. If you can convince me that it was something else about that process that took my skin from perfectly fine to unbearably disgusting, though, I'll hear you out.
Hit me with those recommendations, fellow 'tane-brains!
-Annie
<p>One week!
I'm such an advanced planning and micromanagement type of person, so naturally I've been scouring the internet for new, 'tane-friendly products. The last time I just used cetaphil and aquaphor and stuff, and it was fine, but this time I would really like to be a little more natural and specific to my needs. Here's what I'm thinking so far:
Face
Cleanser: Manuka honey soap- has great reviews and is supposed to be both moisturizing and anti-bacterial. What's not to like?!
Moisturizer: Manuka honey clear skin cream- super rich moisturizing cream that is also recommended to clear up problem skin without dying. I'm still undecided on this, because it contains lots of oils, including my no-no ingredients that I'm afraid of (jojoba oil, grapeseed oil...), but the reviews are fantastic and love manuka honey. Hmm.
Spot treatment: Sovereign Silver first aid gel-non-drying and has great reviews for its antibacterial abilities, for those nasty active areas
Lips: My regular Burts Bees and some Dr. Dan's Cortibalm- for when things get extra dry.
Eyes: Some GenTeal severe gel drops for dryness, plus an optometrist appointment to get pretty new glasses for the days my contacts feel too crunchy.
Make-up: Everyday Minerals in semi-matte- I love love LOVE this stuff. It covers really well without looking cakey and gross, and somehow defies physics by being both kind-of mattifying and kind-of moisturizing. I've been using it since July, and even during my worst skin days it does a pretty decent job of concealing the carnage, at least until it starts to rub off.
this stuff to encourage my hair to grow faster. Yeah, it's for horses. But pretty much all of the reviews on Amazon of from humans who use it on their human heads, so i'm not completely crazy. It came in the mail today, so I'll let you know how that works out for me.
Back on the point: I might also buy some of this for the inevitable itchy scalp.
Supplements
I already religiously take this amazing multivitamin, probiotics, vitamin e, vitamin d, zinc, fish oil, biotin, and a mess of not-skin-related bizznazz. Am I missing anything important?
I already have a paraguard IUD, so I can comply with iPledge without taking BC, which is wonderful because the artificial hormones make me fat and crazy.
Other than the make-up, supplements, and the crazy horse grooming stuff (ha), I haven't actually purchased any of this yet. So, feedback? Guide my shopping cart into the light!
Oh! And I took some pictures, but I can't figure out how to attach them here from my computer. I know I'm missing something obvious.... someone help a girl out.
This sums up my feelings exactly!
Long story short, I'm tired of fighting to get people to take me seriously in the already cutthroat and cruel industry I work in with a face full of angry volcanic monsters. I'm already pretty young, so I see the "why should I listen to you, you're obviously like 12" looks written all over people's faces when I meet with them to talk shop. So it's not even just an issue of being insecure about feeling unattractive, it also makes me feel like people perceive me as unprofessional and unqualified. I'm simply not ok with that. Accutane it is, then.
Hello! I'm on day four today of my second course. I'll be following your progress! I'm just using dans cleanser and CeraVe lotion at the moment but I'm also searching for some organic products. I took a trip to Ulta and tried a ton of lotions on my hands and I liked Boscia recharging night moisture. It's pretty pricy ($44 for 1.4 oz) but it seems to be very concentrated. I'm also considering Boots organic super balm which can be bought at Target and is much more affordable.
You could put a few drops of that jojoba oil in your conditioner... I hear that is supposed to work pretty well. At least you'd get some use out of it 
When are you actually starting your course? Good luck!!!!!!
Thanks for the kind words and encouragement, everyone!
Annoyingly, today is actually Day 2
I was supposed to start last Thursday, but apparently the ipledge-computer-inputter-person screwed up, and just couldn't be assed to do her job and put my stuff into the system for 5 whole days (!!!!) after my first appointment, so then my second appointment was scheduled 5 days too early and Ipledge was unsatisfied with the results of that particular cup of my pee. So, I had to go back and sacrifice another cup o' pee to the accutane gods on Monday. Only then was I able to actually pick up my prescription.
Obviously, this did not please me. Not only because, like everyone else, I was anxious to get started. Also because my derm's office is 45 minutes away from me, and because of my job I literally do not get days off, and they always make me sit in their stupid waiting room for like an hour before they get to me, and JAYSUS CHRIST I AIN'T EVEN GOT TIME FOR THIS NONSENSE.
After having a little bit of a meltdown (The election is 21 days away, you guys! It does not take much at this point to send me into complete flip-out mode. Stressstressstressssss), I finally did get get my hands on those sweet, sweet little boxes. Peeling away the picture of their weird pregnant stick figure crossed out, I felt seriously triumphant. Like I had overcome forces of evil trying to stop me from having acceptable-looking skin. THE JOURNEY BEGINS!
Ok, I'm being dramatic. But that's probably just to make up for the fact that nothing is happening yet. Yeah, I'm tired, but what else is new. But it's only day two.
Keep calm & accutane on, I guess.
XOXO,
Annie
Hi Annie - today is my day # 2 as well! Just wanted to stop by and wish you lots of luck.
I definitely don't relate to what it's like working during this election so my thoughts and prayers are with you on that one.
Keep us posted on your progress and here's to hoping a successful election.