Hello, I hope the day went better for you after this post. Welcome to the website :).

First off, you are most certainly not alone, and secondly, I would like to clarify a few things with you on your "Acne & Diet" related issues, and hopefully address something of your eating disorder issue at the end...

Congratulations on getting rid of so many things that were probably very bad for your health and skin to begin with. When I say this, I do assume that we are on the same page such as ALL milk containing products, processed foods with primarily sugar, and breads/wheat/gluten containing products. I would like to pick out a few things you have said, and cover the basics on what may or may not be misunderstandings of what is and isn't a good diet:

"Breakfast is either oatmeal or a smoothie."
- This is fine, as long as you realize that you can also have fresh vegetable juices, almost any kind of fruit, REALLY pumped up oatmeal recipes that can be baked in the oven with NO oil and sugar, but bananas and Organic/Raw Honey's instead, and of course vegetables. You can also have soups, organic corn chips or potato chips, and yes... even eggs (if they truly don't effect you like you suspect they do... make sure it's not the butter/oil you were cooking them in.) You can make oat floured pancakes sweetened with honey/molasses and bananas/blueberries/strawberries, etc... and if you have a blender you can just blend oats yourself and make all kinds of goodies. And I definitely do admit, before cutting eggs out of my diet for different reasons (non-health related), that eggs did not break me out alone, it was the oil/butter that did. But before I cut them out completely (for now), I bought the best quality I could, only boiled them, and never ate them every day, and was totally fine.

"Everyday I ALWAYS make sure that I eat either broccoli or spinach with 2 meals a day, usually with some kind of oily fish."
- I suppose this is nice, so long as you know that you don't actually have to do this. Spinach and broccoli are amazing for your health, but eating the same thing every day CAN cause health issues and depression, and broccoli especially can be hard for the gut to digest if you eat too much of it. I have been underweight before too (not because of my acne diet), and if you are inactive then I'm afraid the old and new foods just sit in your stomach for several hours to a couple of days, and eventually come out all weird like, further adding to your misery. When I first started juicing vegetables, anytime I ate spinach, it actually came out the other end completely undigested, and caused a lot of stomach pain. Mind you, I was on a strict diet at the time too, but I knew nothing about food combinations, or chewing my food really, really well. I would instead blend frozen bananas and spinach together in one of your morning smoothies, with some fresh mint if you care too, and enjoy it that way. As for the broccoli, you don't need to eat it everyday, and it may be better for your possible flatulence if you don't. Try instead to eat it raw almost every time every few days, and cook it on two occasions: boiling it and drinking it along with the broth as well as some other goodies, like copped green onions, peas and mushrooms, or boiling it and making a blended hot soup out of it. Gordon Ramsey's Broccoli soup recipe comes to mind (minus the goat cheese.)

"I dont eat wheat (this causes stomach/digestive problems, so cutting this out was easier to accept if that makes sense?)"
- That's wonderful to hear, and I hope to understand that you also mean anything with wheat in it, such as any boxed food you pick up at the store, and everything from pizza crust to muffins and cookies.

"i dont eat dairy or eggs."
- Are you making sure that everything you eat does not have dairy in it? This was a HUGE stimulant for me, and getting rid of ALL the dairy guaranteed my cysts would be gone. As for eggs, I tell others (who are not effected by them like you were) to not eat them every day, understand the others risks to their health with them, and get the best cage free/organic/free roaming quality they could.

"i only eat chicken and some fish, no red meat."
- Well, I am vegetarian now, for non-acne related reasons, but I'm afraid that those two meats are among the most popular animal cruelty industries in the entire world, with chickens being the most abused animals on the planet. Morals aside, their demand in the industry causes both animals have their feeds filled with hormones, plastics, harsh chemicals, antibacterials, and mostly non-primal/non-natural related things that would have never been in their diet to begin with. Eating these kinds of meats will definitely screw around with your hormones, thus producing more acne. They also take away from other fresh vegetables and fruits and the nutrients that you WOULD have otherwise absorbed, thus pooping out all your hard work.

"I avoid soy products."
- Wonderful, because they mess with estrogen levels in a lot of people. Most coffee/tea shops have non-dairy substitutes that are a lot healthier, such as Oat, Rice, Coconut and Hemp milk if you are curious.

"Ill only eat foods if theyre cooked in good oils."
- Oil causes inflammation in the body and, I'm afraid, in the skin. There is no such thing as healthy oil for acne prone people, and cooking all oils is not good for you. I am only able to tolerate them now because of avoiding them for so long before, cooking very lightly with them if I choose to do so, and because of my overall diet.

"I wont eat simple carbs, for example, only brown rice."
- A high carb diet is not an issue for Acne, and brown rice is OK as long as you don't do this every day. Rice, I'm afraid, also raises blood sugar like bread, and can cause inflammation in the body and skin as well. Brown rice is of course better that white for sure, but always get the best kind of brown rice possible (like basmati).

From what I could read and tell, you cook a lot of your foods, and have tried a plant based diet at least once before. This can be a very sensitive topic, and I often run the risk of scaring people away, but I must say to you the truth, and that is that you may need far more RAW vegetables in your diet, and that a plant based diet is wonderful so long as it's part of a relaxed whole/real foods diet. If you need to cook vegetables, cook things such as potatoes, artichokes, asparagus, etc... things that need cooking for anyone to digest easier, not just people on diets. Also, you didn't mention anything about nuts, such as almonds, cashews, etc... too many nuts are really bad for the gut, which is typically where most acne problems come from. In fact, I had several break outs last year and had no idea what I was doing wrong... until I realized that I was eating way too many almonds and drink far too much cashew milk. And finally, there are hundreds of seasonings out there with several health benefits! Get creative and explore dozens of different possible tastes.

Diets for Acne do not cause eating disorders... people and their approaches do, because they are filled with fear over the whole ordeal. Most people I met have periods of bitterness towards what they feel like the had to eat, and longed for the days where they could eat pizza and cookies again. I am not saying you are like this, but it is likely that the people that you read about were. No one can prove fruits and vegetables are awful to you, unless you somehow eat too many of a certain kind too often and/or for too long, did not consider food combinations, had an underlying food intolerance with one of them, misunderstood what they were actually good for with you, did not treat your body kindly, and forgot that ANYTHING can cause damage. It is impossible to loose weight and starve on a healthy diet that works for you.

I have said it countless times before, and I will say it again... The point of all this 'dieting' is to get your body to stabilize and normalize again. Maybe you can eat something that most other people can not. I only hope to inspire further and encourage others to give birth to more exploratory avenues in life, not cause frustrations. The more you hang onto oils, sugars and hormonal foods (such as cheap meats), then the slower, more painful and less noticeable your results will be. You can eat these things if you want, and only on an OVERALL healthy diet can they likely be tolerated by your body once every month or so, but it all depends on your natural tolerance. There is nothing like the bliss of learning more about your own body, and what you can eat and out of life, not feel like your missing in life. I myself found that I can eat peanut butter, organic chips, chocolate treats I make myself, vegetarian sushi (yes with white rice, or I make my own and replace the rice with ground cauliflower), dozens of soup and salad varieties, and I can even request things like burrito bowls with nothing but vegetables, salsa, guacamole, beans and rice whenever I go out and and want to eat again. I often make my own food, however, and follow recipes I read online that are typically oil, sugar, dairy and wheat free. I don't miss any of the old food I grew up with and honestly cared nothing for it. If I accidentally ate cheese or milk, nothing would happen, because of what I did for my body and how I transformed it over time. I am fully confident that you can not only do the same, but love and enjoy it.

My diet took me three months to see great results, six months for the remaining cysts to finally pop and go away for good, and 1-3 years for my red marks to fade. My pictures are in my gallery on this website and are completely public. Things take time... even the acne.org regimen, which took me three months as well, and Accutane took my brother six months. You are going to have trial and error with this approach... the most common mistake being too fast and extreme of a change with little to no gradation, and then not giving it enough time during certain 'test periods' you may be in. If you are having an eating disorder, then I would rather see you do one of two things: A.) Make the decision that non-acne is just not worth it, and eat what you want, or B.) realize that there are probably hundreds of areas you have yet to explore, and bring a few foods back into your diet that are personally enjoyable for you, such as certain chips and maybe even different things like popping your own popcorn or making a New York/Waldorf salad smothered with peanut butter. Either continue with facial products and medications if it means not having an eating disorder, or know that there may be a possibility that you're underestimating what is available to you in so many kinds of recipes and diets that could have worked for you.

More often than not, people can't handle diets with their 'fatigue and irritability', but realize that no matter what you ate that you always had these things anyway. I had no idea if diet was going to help me, I just made the decision to try it for as long as I could. I ditched all the acne medications I was on because I was permanently done with them, and found peace with having severe acne... but to my surprise and amazement, I actually DID end up curing it with diet and tweaking my lifestyle. So with that said, I would like to finally say to you that I wish you endless amounts of luck and a joyous, bountiful life!

Thank you for taking the time to reply 🙂 Im happy to hear that Im not alone in this.
Regarding the question about not eating any milk and gluten containing products, yes I do this, and I feel like this is a part of my obsession which I should of mentioned in my first post. Before going out to a restaurant for example, I have to look up the allergen menu on their website and make sure that there is something that doesnt contain any traces of the foods Im avoiding. It drives my family mad, but I think Ive got used to it after doing this for about 4 years, despite it making me miserable.

I do add some vegetables, such as spinach to my smoothies along with the fruit as Im not a huge fan of vegetables, so I try and disguise the taste a little. Ive never tried a juice made completely out of vegetables, but Id be willing to give it a go.
Thank you for the suggestions, I do quite often use honey in my oatmeal and enjoy it but I think any food can get boring after time!
as for the eggs, even when I have organic I get extreme acne on my back 🙁 Im not too sure if it would be the oil, as I only really use coconut oil and I cook everything else in this with (as far as Im concerned) no problems. Im a picky eater also and eggs were not always too appealing to me, Im just desperate to gain weight and have some variety I think.

I think that the whole spinach and broccoli thing has come from reading and hearing so many things about eating plenty of green vegetables and leafy greens and these are the 2 bareable green vegetables for me haha.
What makes raw broccoli easier to digest than cooked? I always went on the assumption that raw foods were harder to digest. The soup sounds like a goodidea though so Ill have to give that a try :-).
I do like other vegetables and love bell peppers etc and eat a lot of these too, but when I go to make something i dont think what will i enjoy? Its what wont break me out?.

I completely illiminated dairy and gluten from my diet in all forms, and try to limit sugar as much as i can. I too will react to any forms of dairy, especially whey. i dont experience cysts anymore because of this and tbh my skin isnt that bad at all, mostly just hyperpigmentation at the moment, but the thought of it being as bad as it was at 14-17 is terrifying.

I completely understand the welfare and ethical concerns regarding eating meat, and I always make sure to buy free range organic.
When I tried a plant based diet it was also for animal right reasons, but after being so underweight I faced the question from family members is this really worth risking your health for?
Ill admit I didnt feel good at all eating this way, but I do feel shit about eating meat again. I dont feel that im in the right position at the moment to try this lifestyle again given my situation, but Id certainly like to give it another go once i have a more positive relationship with food.

Does inflammation even occur with coconut oil? I always hear this is amazing for your skin and Ive always avoided sunflower oil etc, thinking it had a different effect. I think oil is one of those things Ive relied on to make sure I eat some fats, this and avocado being healthy fats from what Ive heard and followed the last few years. Also, would cutting this out not cause further weight loss?

I will occasionally eat regular potatoes, but I think a big issue in this is being immediately reminded of things Ive read online, for example foods that are high on the glycemic index cause acne and this makes me reconsider and go to an option I think is safe. I do only eat basmati rice, if not this then sweet potato!

Would switching to raw vegetables possibly have other effects at first, for example on digestion due to the change? Im not a fan of vegetables in general as I mentioned, so Im not sure if doing this would worsen the way I feel towards food and make me feel more restricted. I can understand this must be great for your skin though because of the nutrients 🙂

i eat nuts from time to time, but I dont include them daily like I feel I have to do with other foods. again, Ive heard nuts are great for skin and hair! Haha, its crazy how different effects foods have can actually backfire and cause more problems.

I dont feel that that I have bitterness as such towards foods I used to eat, as minus the dairy, my diet really wasnt too awful. I think that its how strict Ive become with myself to maintain it, which I guess correlates with other eating disorders, for example, maintaining low calories (rather than the type of food) if one is obsessed with losing weight (rather than clearing their skin). I feel that this is the same kind of principle, rather than my approach, as its easy to get carried away and sucked into it all.

thank you for sharing your experience and advice, and i must say your skin is looking beautiful 🙂