Hello there.
I'm kind of at my wits end with my acne at the moment, and just don't know what to do... I really need advice and am feeling like an emotional wreck.
I'm a 26 year old, and have had acne since I was 13. It has come and gone somewhat, due to use of over the counter products, but I have always suffered with cysts and scars and generally painful, upsetting acne. I have very pale skin so the scars really look deep and stand out a lot. I took the pill from the age of 16 - 22, and it worked relatively well, but I went off of it as I found out I had a heart condition and my doctor said it's probably not good to take the pill if I don't need it for contraception, plus, it isn't really a fix to acne, just masks the issue. So I've tried loads of other things...Proactive (couldn't move my face) and all that other chemist store type cleansers.
Epiduo worked really well for 12 months, my skin was nearly perfect! But then my acne crept back and now, it is at its worst. The Epiduo really helps heal the acne, but new acne still comes through.
I am a vegetarian, and have been for 4 years, and I eat quite healthily! I don't eat any refined sugar at all, eat mainly veggies, grains, and try and only eat low carb stuff (but of course I sometimes eat potato chips and stuff - I need to eat some nice stuff!) and eat a small amount of goats milk yoghurt for digestion. I have been wondering if this is my problem, the diary? I will need to cut it out to see... but I only have a small amount, so I doubt it is causing the whole issue.
I have had friends & family say that I must be lacking something diet wise, due to not eating meat, and I know that high copper can cause severe acne. I take 15mg of zinc per day (thinking perhaps I should take 30mg) but I really don't want to eat red meat ever, as it's just a no-no for me. I would consider eating poultry, if I knew it came from somewhere where the animals were treated with respect and were allowed to roam. And now I just feel guilty inside for thinking I'd eat poultry if I knew it would help clear my skin, I feel like a hyprocrite, I'm just struggling emotionally so much with this, as I try so hard to be healthy, and to respect animals, and my face is just constantly in turmoil.
I know that my skin is sensitive to products, such as makeups and so on, and I want more than anything to never wear makeup again, but how can I ? I can't go to work with my face the way it is, without makeup. I feel like I am trapped in the cycle, of wearing makeup that I don't want to wear, but having to wear it because I have 0% self esteem without covering my skin...going out in public having people stare at you...well, it really isn't a nice experience.
My Mum keeps going on at me to just do Accutane, to just stick through the side effects. But I went on Accutane 2 years ago, and about 3 weeks in, I had to stop due to getting palpitations and anxiety and things like that. I really felt my body wasn't feeling good, and I just listened to it and stopped the meds. I felt really weird, extremely depressed (I already suffer depression - partly due to my face) and felt like the meds were messing my body way too much already for such a low dose. Obviously I was nervous about it all as I have a heart condition, which is minor, but the last thing I want to do is hurt myself in the name of vanity...you know what I mean? Mum pushed me to continue it...but I said I'd leave it for now (2 years ago).
And now...two years on, I'm sitting here, after just having an emotional breakdown from looking in the mirror, and my life is so badly effected by this acne. I just got a job at a skincare store (my skin was concealed well enough at the interview) and now my face has exploded, and I am already too scared to go back into work. Last shift I had, I saw my boss looking at my face with a concerned look on her face, and I just wanted to say "Please don't stare." Everyone there has crystal clear glowing skin, and they all look at my skin, and I just want to hide in a turtle shell and never come out.
I keep thinking...do I try Accutane again...it's been two years, maybe my body can deal with it now? Maybe it's the only thing to do. I have tried changing my diet around, but I find it's so hard and limiting, in that, I can hardly ever socialise if I stick to such a diet of absolutely no bread, absolutely no this, no that. I try really really hard to avoid foods that break me out, barely ever eat gluten foods, avoid yeast, avoid nuts, avoid soy, avoid refined sugar like the plague...it seems the healthier I am, the worse my face gets.
I am so over it. I just can't deal with it anymore! : (
So sorry for ranting, and being so emotional. I will upload some photos of my face soon.
As for advice, I recommend consulting alternavista's pinned thread on 'Good Things For The Many Factors That Lead to Acne'. It's full of amazing advice. It's currently my compass for fighting acne. I am not clear yet, but I am closer than I have been in a long time.
In particular, you said the pill was effective, which would imply hormones. Balancing your insulin levels using the advice on that thread will help balance the rest of your hormones and can help your skin!
But I just wanted to let you know I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from. I feel like I've tried everything... I've had small windows of relief, but everything seemed to stop working after a while. I can't count how many times I've broken down in front of the mirror or been afraid to go to work or school.
Just know you're not alone, and that I'm rooting for you!
Thanks so much : )
I will definitely check out that thread right now!
I know that one day, somewhere (over the rainbow) I will eventually look in the mirror and be free of acne, at least free of the type of acne I have right now.
It is so annoying when I have a friend complain about a breakout, when there face is literally crystal clear! I'd do anything to have their kind of "break out", where it's tiny, tiny unnoticeable pimples that don't even really exist on their face!
Thank you for the support : ) I'm sure we will all one day be happy with our skin! Positivity goes a long way : )
I believe that cystic acne tends to be a response to a food intolerance. And you'll have to figure out yours for yourself by testing. You could have multiple causes. I had both a food intolerance that caused severe cystic acne that is controlled by avoiding the food. And very oily skin and non cystic acne that is controlled by avoiding high glycemic meals and nutrient dense anti-inflammatory diet.
Do you eat a lot of greens? What do you drink?
What about sleep? Stress? Daylight/sunlight? There's such a thing as fructose malabsorption and many here have claimed they break out from fruit. But there are ways to improve your ability to metabolize fructose such as as natural as possible circadian cycle with a lot of bright light exposure (outdoors) during the day. This also helps normalize hormones.
I feel so much for you. I am at the same stage at the moment and can relate with you for not daring to leave home without make up. Personally I would rather wear it in the house as well just so I can have a glimpse of my disgusting face in the mirror by accident (cause consciously I stopped looking at mirrors). It's a devastating thing and I'm not sure how one can deal with it and having a normal life. I envy those who can but I am not amongst them.
I am thinking of accutane too even though I'm scared to death about the side effects and especially the IB and the hair shedding. If there wasn't for these two I would have taken it in a heartbeat. No kidding. Funny thing is that my skin used to be perfectly clear till I turned 28. Porcelain clear and people would always comment on it. So, seeing myself like that right now it's not only heartbreaking but... really I have no words to describe it. There are times I simply wanna tear off my face. This can't be happening to me. I am sure many can relate to this sentence.
And just like you, I am pale and the red marks stand out in all their glory.