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What my scars have taught me

MemberMember
0
(@fumiyatanaka)

Posted : 04/10/2019 8:19 am

I am a 41-year-old man with bad acne scarring.

I thought I had accepted my scars.But around 2 months agomy scars began to causeme great distress and anguish. I don't know what triggered it (I probably do;I'm just not ready to accept it), but it was the most emotional/psychological pain I've had in a long time.

"My life is over."

"I will no longer be happy."

"I might as well die now."

Thus, beginning 2 months ago, I've had many sleepless nights and unproductive days of just scouring the internetfor that holy grail of acne scarring remedies. For almost 2 weeks now, I haven't read the news because I have been reading the discussions here.

Tonight,a day after a treatment package thatincluded TCA cross, subcision, microneedling with PRP and Red Light (the dermatologist only subcised several scars and wasn't thorough with the TCA cross), "a dam broke". I began to tear up and realized a few things.

 

1. Physical beauty means nothing.

When I was a senior in high school, the (consensus) prettiest girl in the entire school became my girlfriend. It didn't make my life enviable--she was mostly a pain in the ass. In hindsight, I would have been happier with someone less attractive but smarter and kinder--or with my female bestfriend.

 

2. The gifts/attributes we are born with can only get us so far.

A. Looks

Since I was a kid, I had been hearing people say that I was good-looking, directly to me or to other people, which I just overhear (I guessbone structure- and features-wiseI'm better-than-average-looking in my country's standard of beauty).Even when I was breaking out in high school and college. Even when I had scars in my 20s. (Now that I'm older and my scars look worse,only my wife and family say that I'm good-looking.)

Did my looks make my social life great? Not really. I was an introvert--brooding, shy, weird and awkward.

B. Talent

I got good grades without much effort. I got good jobs in good companies even if my educational background was in a different field. But I didn't really climb the corporate ladder much because I wasn't willing to do the overtime and really develop my skills.

 

3. It is time for me to be a better person. (Related to 2)

I'm not a bad person (I hope). I'm not criminal. I'm veryopen-minded.I don't judge people. But sometimes I can be impatient and selfish.

And most of my life, I've relied mostly on my looks and natural talent, which haven't taken me very far in life.

So, now, I think it's time for me to be a better person on the inside.Kinder. More generous. More patient. More loving.

To my wife. My family. My friends. Everyone I meet. But most especially to my wife.

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MemberMember
16
(@karenm)

Posted : 04/10/2019 11:33 am

3 hours ago, FumiyaTanaka said:

I am a 41-year-old man with bad acne scarring.

I thought I had accepted my scars.But around 2 months agomy scars began to causeme great distress and anguish. I don't know what triggered it (I probably do;I'm just not ready to accept it), but it was the most emotional/psychological pain I've had in a long time.

"My life is over."

"I will no longer be happy."

"I might as well die now."

Thus, beginning 2 months ago, I've had many sleepless nights and unproductive days of just scouring the internetfor that holy grail of acne scarring remedies. For almost 2 weeks now, I haven't read the news because I have been reading the discussions here.

Tonight,a day after a treatment package thatincluded TCA cross, subcision, microneedling with PRP and Red Light (the dermatologist only subcised several scars and wasn't thorough with the TCA cross), "a dam broke". I began to tear up and realized a few things.

 

1. Physical beauty means nothing.

When I was a senior in high school, the (consensus) prettiest girl in the entire school became my girlfriend. It didn't make my life enviable--she was mostly a pain in the ass. In hindsight, I would have been happier with someone less attractive but smarter and kinder--or with my female bestfriend.

 

2. The gifts/attributes we are born with can only get us so far.

A. Looks

Since I was a kid, I had been hearing people say that I was good-looking, directly to me or to other people, which I just overhear (I guessbone structure- and features-wiseI'm better-than-average-looking in my country's standard of beauty).Even when I was breaking out in high school and college. Even when I had scars in my 20s. (Now that I'm older and my scars look worse,only my wife and family say that I'm good-looking.)

Did my looks make my social life great? Not really. I was an introvert--brooding, shy, weird and awkward.

B. Talent

I got good grades without much effort. I got good jobs in good companies even if my educational background was in a different field. But I didn't really climb the corporate ladder much because I wasn't willing to do the overtime and really develop my skills.

 

3. It is time for me to be a better person. (Related to 2)

I'm not a bad person (I hope). I'm not criminal. I'm veryopen-minded.I don't judge people. But sometimes I can be impatient and selfish.

And most of my life, I've relied mostly on my looks and natural talent, which haven't taken me very far in life.

So, now, I think it's time for me to be a better person. Kinder. More generous. More patient. More loving.

To my wife. My family. My friends. Everyone I meet. But most especially to my wife.

I love this. It is important to remember who we can be if we work on ourselves!

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MemberMember
30
(@acnevm)

Posted : 04/13/2019 2:56 am

I love this too, I am only 23 years old, but I can find a lot of relevant things on my behalf.
Thanks for sharing Karen.

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