I feel you. Although in the past I had really terrible self-esteem in general and felt there was absolutely nothing beautiful about me, as I got older I started to better appreciate myself and even began to think I was beautiful. Unfortunately 2 years ago my acne went from mild and under control (I had previously had cystic acne but treated it mostly successfully with bp) after trying the oil cleansing method with coconut oil (fucking stupid in hindsight bc it blocked all my pores, not really sure what I expected but it's still a mystery to me why my skin is so fucked up after all this time), and since then I'm constantly plagued by the thought "you'd look alright if it wasn't for your acne" every time I look in the mirror. A fucking nightmare really, and a very tiring one. People with clear skin (including my past self who decided to stray from a perfectly effective skin regimen in order to try the ocm because my skin was only fractionally flawed) really don't know how lucky they are. That being said, if I didn't have acne there would be some other insecurity to take it's place and I would be obsessing over that, so I guess you never can win, although acne is a particularly horrible & shameful insecurity bc of its societal stigma as "dirty" and "disgusting", and not everyone has it.

It is also uncomfortable for me to around people when I have acne. I get really self-conscious and often turn red from the nervousness. How long have you had acne?

I wish the person above me hadn't advertised on this thread, just had to say that, it annoyed me.

Good luck in overcoming your acne. If a gentle face wash and benzoyl peroxide cream aren't curing your acne then I definitely recommend seeing a dermatologist. Your self esteem doesnt have to go on destroyed if you see a skin doctor. Soon you can be living your life as a pretty, funny girl again