People don't understand how I feel. My friends and family always try to cheer me up when I feel depressed. They would often say that "teenagers" really experience acne due to puberty. I hate my life.

BULLIED.
When I was in 1st year high school people bullied me, talked behind my back and they would just laugh at me. What made it worst was that in those times when I felt like killing myself I DIDN'T HAVE ACNE. THEY BULLIED ME FOR DIFFERENT REASONS. I don't have friends who could help me.  SO I WAS NOT ABLE TO HAVE A SOCIAL LIFE. I cried everyday, before I go to school I would cry in pain as well as every time I went home. My sister noticed it and asked me if something was wrong and I said no because I didn't want the "bullies" to make fun of me once they found out that they were reported to the office. I WAS TRAUMATIZED and didn't want to be friends with others because I fear that they will only judge me. Then I moved on. I told myself that I will be kind to them no matter what, because it is the right thing to do. I focused on my studies and getting a scholarship to help my parents somehow. And then I did. I was able to become a part of the school's First section which in return would grant me 100% scholarship.

THEN ACNE RUINED MY LIFE.
Acne was never an issue for me until it started to affect the way I live. I never thought that I would be an acne sufferer because no one in our family really have bad acne (except me). It all started when I was about to enter my 4th year High school life. I  paid so much attention to my face and I really wanted to get rid of my pimples. I used home remedies like Aloe Vera, garlic, baking soda, everything that would "hopefully" treat my acne. And then it begun. My pimples started to spread all over my cheeks. I was frustrated and my urge to get rid of my acne grew even more. I started to use different face washes like Kojic Acid Soap, Vaseline Face Wash, Ponds Facial wash. I also have used different toners, moisturizers, sunscreens. But still nothing happened. Even though I spent so much on products that I could use for my face, mentally, acne affected me but in those I still was able to go on with life because I think my acne was just moderate at that time and people won't usually talk to me about my acne. 

However recently when I entered college after buying and using NEUTROGENA ACNE CLEARING FACE WASH (THE ONE WITH ORANGE LIQUID INSIDE),because I was thinking that CETAPHIL GENTLE SKIN CLEANSER AND MOISTURIZER wasn't working for me and rather gave me cystic acne, together with NEUTROGENA ALCOHOL FREE TONER AND DOVE MEN MOISTURIZER my face became so DRY and led to the WORST BREAKOUT OF MY LIFE. I LITERALLY HAD 10 PAINFUL PIMPLES WITH ZIT ON ONE SIDE OF MY CHEEK AND ON THE OTHER WERE HUGE ABOUT 3-5 PAINFUL ZIT AS WELL. :(((((

I COULDN'T EVEN STRETCH MY FACE BECAUSE IT REALLY HURTS LIKE HELL MY FACE WAS SO DRY AND PAINFUL.  That is when the people around me noticed my acne.  I don't know where to start but I just can't put into words the pain that I felt every time they would look at my face like.. ugh I just dont know how to describe their faces every time they would stare at how bad my acne was. 

I didn't know what to do. It affected me so much. I wanted to kill myself or take a knife and just scrape my face so that i won't see the zits. I stopped using the products because they just made my life worse. I can't even focus on my studies and the course I took. People are unintentionally insensitive and rude on the things they say.   My friend told me as we were about to go home "Whats happening? your having plenty of pimples on your face" and another friend of mine told me" Your pimples look like they would pop/explode" (maybe because he was referring to the zits on my face). And then my every time my TEACHERS IN HIGH SCHOOL would see us they would always TELL ME "OH, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?!" (with the expression of being disgusted or i don't know the face that says "thank God I didn't have acne") with ALL OF MY FRIENDS BESIDE ME. I FELT EMBARRASSED. I WAS ASHAMED OF HOW UGLY I WAS. I CRIED BECAUSE MY FACE MATTERED MORE TO THEM THAN HOW GOOD I WAS AS THEIR FRIEND (BY MAKING THEM LAUGH ALL THE TIME) AND AS A STUDENT (BY RESPECTING THEM AS MY TEACHERS). Why would they say that in front of many people? Why are they so mean?  

Aside from my friends and teachers other people also noticed my bad skin. My classmate asked me " IS THERE REALLY NO WAY THAT YOU CAN GET RID OF YOUR ACNE?" "DO YOU GET A FACIAL?" "WHEN DID THAT THING STARTED?" "WHY NOT GO TO THE DERMATOLOGIST?" And my friend from elementary talked to me through facebook. A long talk that led to my acne, she said " Since the course you took is difficult maybe your pimples would get worse?". She told me to use an anti-acne soap (as if i don't know anything about acne )  and insisted that i should go to the dermatologist. And what struck me the most was when she said that "HOW WILL THE PERSON YOU LIKE BE ATTRACTED TO YOU IF YOU HAVE SO MANY PIMPLES?"    WHY are people like this? Why are they so rude and harsh to the things they say? What if one day everything changed and they were the ones who had bad acne? What would they feel?
  I can't even enjoy my life, go out with my friends and focus on my studies. I can't do the things that will make my life meaningful. 

EVERY ONE NOTICED HOW BAD MY ACNE HAS BECOME AS OF THIS DAY. THEY WOULD JUDGE ME. THEY WOULD ASK ME ABOUT MY ACNE. THEY WOULD INSIST THAT I SHOULD GO TO THE DERMATOLOGIST. THEY WOULD TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR. I'M DEPRESSED. I'M CRYING INSIDE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE. BUT AS WHAT THEY ALWAYS SAY " EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON". THE ONLY THING THAT I I'VE BEEN PUTTING INTO MY HEAD IS THAT, EVERYONE MAY JUDGE YOU BASED ON HOW BAD YOU MAY LOOK BUT I KNOW THAT IN THE END ONLY GOD, OUR FATHER WILL HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE WHO WE ARE AS A PERSON. I GUESS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO WITH MY LIFE TODAY IS TO ACCEPT HOW I LOOK, BE PROUD OF THE WAY I WAS CREATED AND CHOOSE TO BE POSITIVE AND HAPPY IN LIFE(EVEN IF IT'S THE HARDEST THING TO DO) . I HOPE THAT ONE DAY HAPPINESS WILL BE MORE THAN JUST PHYSICAL BEAUTY BUT HOW BLESSED WE ARE FOR EVERYTHING WE HAVE.