You're not a psychopath, psychopaths have enough savvy to feel like killing everyone without anyone knowing, especially not a message board.

I think you need to find an outlet for your negative emotions. MMA perhaps.

Hmm..

You might also be the type of person who keeps it bottled up when someone actually deserves to be told off, and now you're reacting to minor transgressions instead of the major ones you should have been.

I do bottle up things. I just do not like people giving me false assurance. I am also very practical, so all sunshine talk is not for me.

Sue,

I can relate to these feelings. I do not believe you are a psychopath either, but I am not a psychiatrist. And if they were to confirm, it is another mental illness, wouldn't mean there's anything evil about you but it would need treatment for sure! I disagree that psychopaths don't post on forums. I've read about quite a few who were actually bragging and leaving not so subtle hints on the internet. It's just that nobody reading the posts took them seriously or not enough people saw the posts.

Now that all that is out of the way, Sue, I am so sorry. I know how it feels to just not relate to people anymore. I honestly feel that it might be a combination of things but depression for sure. The only way is to talk to a professional about it. I commend you for reaching out here, though no one is equipped to properly diagnose.

I know you're here for a different reason though, like you said, to see if anyone else understands and I just want to reassure you that you are NOT alone. I've noticed my personality change, and I managed to catch it in time before things got too bad although I still have days where I feel it's hopeless. Do whatever you can to stay connected to a part of you that you love/like. ANY part...was there anything, activity or memory in your childhood that made you happy and laugh or smile? maybe start by looking into recreating that memory. that's what I've tried to do. it helps. Second, is not letting yourself spend any time with other people who are bitter about life. Because they'll just drag you down further. At first it feels good because it feels like you can relate to one another. But believe me, over time, they'll start to pick on you and emotionally abuse you, because they're also upset about their lives. What contributes to depression, in my experience, is that anger builds up and goes unexpressed over the years gradually turns into depression and numbness. You have to try to reconnect with your anger but express it in a healthy, safe way. I tried self defense classes and they really helped.

Healthy anger, the kind that's expressed assertively and without violence, will help your bitterness fade away and instead you'll feel empowered. Also, do ever get the urge to cry? Believe it or not, crying releases actual toxins from the body. But if you're depressed, sometimes it's impossible to cry. Once you start feeling anger again, you might find it easier to access the more vulnerable sides of you and have a good cry which is very healing. Again, you are so strong for reaching out..