The other day I ran into an old high school friend out at the store and when we said our hello's, I noticed she sort of avoided eye contact. I honestly felt my heart drop because I know all too well what it's like to be insecure about having imperfect skin. I wanted so much to reach out and tell her that things can get better, that the acne and the scarring doesn't have to own you and hold you back from living life the way you were meant to live it. But... I didn't want to overstep my boundaries. Needless to say, that run-in has been on my mind and tonight, as I was about to tuck myself into bed I had a brilliant idea. I remember the times when I was at my lowest points and during those hopeless late nights I turned to the Internet to scour for answers. A lot of times I ended up reading through pages and pages of Acne.org thinking how real this issue is and how heavy it can be (In between quiet sobbing and sniffling and tears). So here it is- my story, my journey. Everyone deserves happiness and love and kindness in their lives. Everyone deserves hope.

My backstory; up until freshmen year of high school I had spotless, glowing skin. A little after my 14th birthday I began to break out. At first my forehead.. And then it spread down to my temples, cheeks, jawline, neck, back. Bright red, painful, many of them cystic. My face was just covered in acne. Man, did my self esteem take a beating. Though it was an extremely difficult time, I always told myself that it was just an awkward teenage phase.. That I would grow out of it soon and things would be okay again. I mean, that's what everyone else was telling me at the time too. Fast forward to my 22 year old self. I was still breaking out with adult acne consistently though the breakouts weren't as bad as my high school years, but I was now dealing with a bigger problem- scarring. Numerous box car scarring, the deepest being at my temples and then my cheeks and around my ears as well. I remember thinking that this was it. Scarring has been said to be permanent. That the solution was to suck it up and get used to it and be confident in myself through my other qualities. That's something easier said than done though. After battling depression and social anxiety for so long I finally decided that I couldn't continue to let life beat me down anymore. I began doing countless hours of research, staying up till 5am some nights just looking for answers. I started pulling overtime at work because I wanted to be ready to shell out whatever money I needed to afford improvement and results. My first step was co2 dot laser therapy. It was painful, and the healing process was intense because I shut myself out from the world and from my friends and even my boyfriend because that's how taboo acne and scarring was for me at the time. After the first session I noticed some slight improvement and asked my mom and my close friends to confirm, ah yes, my first sliver of hope. But I was still suffering from break outs and I began to worry that my scar treatments would be all for nothing if I was just going to get new scars. 6 months later I received my second co2 laser session, with a few scar excision treatments on some deeper/discolored scars in between. More improvement. But something still wasn't cutting it for me. I continued to do more research, this time focusing internally more than externally. This is where everything came together. I gave up all animal products besides certain fish and honey. The reason why I cut out meat, dairy, eggs? The hormones they contained that were messing with my body and causing acne. My breakouts reduced SO much. Then I cut out gluten. I adopted a strict, clean and simple diet. I avoid processed foods and minimized my sugar intake. My meals consist of foods that I believe will input GOOD into my body, such as vegetables, fish, nuts, and fruit. I quit smoking cigarettes completely and I only drink on occasions. I had a few more scar excision treatments on the scars that bothered me the most and had monthly dermarolling sessions as well until I decided that I felt okay looking in the mirror. I treat my body with the love it deserves and I am gentle with it. I massage coconut oil onto my face religiously. I exercise, I explore the great outdoors. After some time, I just became so naturally adapted to this healthier lifestyle and I loved everything about it. I was happier, I felt empowered that I was able to make so many changes for the better and stick to it. I became more confident. It's been a little over 2 years since I finally put my foot down and took back control the reigns of my life. I continue to see more and more improvement, I am at a point where I am in actual awe at how far I've gotten. I no longer feel the need to hide behind makeup, I laugh a little louder, love a little harder. I went from a girl who used to have to convince herself of reasons to keep living, to a girl who genuinely loves life. I can finally accept the love that others give me. I know it took a lot of work and dedication but it is all so very much worth it. This is why I had to share my story today in hopes of helping someone else find motivation. I feel so blessed and I needed to spread the chance at happiness to everyone who is feeling down and hopeless. I know what works for me might not work the same way for everyone else but it doesn't hurt to try! Sending all my love and positive vibes to you all.