Hi
I have a real phobia linked to my acne scarring. I have some ice pick scarring but also have very enlarged pores that are joined kinda like an orange peel texture which affects me psychologically than the scarring itself. Iv been single for 3 years and when I meet a guy I have this thing where he cannot see my face in daylight. Up to now I have not met anyone worthy of a relationship so I just kick them out before it goes light. However I met one guy that I clicked with and really liked. I stayed at his a few times but always went home before light and thank god his lights were always dimmed. We went on a date to the cinema and I was so self conscious of my face the whole I couldn't relax and gave off a bad vine. I didn't hear from him again. I cannot live like this, it's taking over my whole life. My friends say my skin isn't bad but they aren't gonna tell me different are they. I really don't know where to go from here 
. Does anyone else experience this?
Scarring is embarrassing. I feel the same way about certain lighting--overhead flourescent is the worst for me (I've got some scars on one side of my face). The worst part about acne/scarring is how it holds you back, makes you act in weird/awkward ways. I try to keep my personality consistent, but it's difficult sometimes. I just want to be myself, but unfortunately, I don't look like myself. I look like a stranger.
Your friends definitely wouldn't tell you if your skin looked bad, but I guarantee you they don't care. That's why they're your friends. I don't talk to my friends about my face; it's kind of an elephant in the room... But I know they don't care at all, and maybe they don't notice very much either.
Learning to be confident with your scars is just something that comes with time. I'm pretty sure my scars are improving a tiny bit every week, so I use that hope to keep me happy. I imagine that maybe six months or a year from now, my scars will be improved enough to not matter anymore. That my hope. I remind myself whenever I'm feeling down that the human body is an amazing healing machine, and that my skin still has time for improvement. That's how I cope.
It doesn't matter how much people tell you that your skin isn't bad - if that's how you feel, it's devastating and has a huge impact on confidence.
Have you tried anything like a glycolic acid serum/lotion? I used it for years and it made a big difference to my skin texture/scarring. Or other AHAs? They need to be strong enough to make a difference - but not too strong! You'll get some peeling to begin with but that settles down. An important thing with acids is to use a decent strength sunscreen.
I'd be really careful with acid peels. Literally, the only reason I have scarring now is because of a couple acid peels I did last year. I focused on my right side, and it has since lost the ability to heal corrctly. It's unbelievable. The skin on my left side is comparatively perfect while the skin on my right is obviously scarred. I wish I had never tried to treat my skin with ANYTHING.
Hey. I can relate. Do you only feel this way when dating, or do you avoid everyone in the sunlight? If this scarring isn't going away within 6 months, I suggest accepting it. This is a part of your face. Next time you find someone you like, tell them how you feel about your face, and then show them what it looks like in the sunlight. If they truly care about you, they will stay. And then you can move on now that he/she knows about your "flaws". And they will love you for it, over time.
Now, it would help if you posted some pictures. Though, I understand if you don't want to. I've seen people insecure about their scars, and the truth is, I didn't even notice until they pointed it out. You probably think it's worse than it is because you have to deal with it everyday. Or, it could really be as bad as you say.