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Feeling Quite Down Today...

MemberMember
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(@zdr553)

Posted : 09/13/2014 9:57 pm

Hi all,

I've had acne-related issues since I was around 13 or so. I'm in my early 20's now, and, to be honest, I feel worse about it now than I ever have before.

I've had it on my face/neck/back/shoulders, and it was like that for nearly all of those years. For the past two years, the back/neck/shoulders ones seemed to go away, and my face mostly had scars and the occasional breakout to deal with. I felt like it was a turning point of sorts, and that I was 'growing out of it,' if you'll forgive the expression.

And, to top it off, I've been dealing with acne (I say acne only because that's the only way of identifying it I have) on my forearms. Yes, forearms. This started back in high school, with one coming in randomly and going away in a few days. But now, I've got several on each arm, with scar remnants of previous ones there, too. It seems like every two hours or so it all looks different: sometimes it doesn't look that bad, with the scars being barely visible and only a couple of pimples present; other times, it seems like a sort of breakout that is getting worse.

There's not much of a pattern to it, but the underlying theme is that it's incredibly hard to deal with emotionally and socially. I have to keep my arms covered in public (and I know all of the reasons why this likely perpetuates my problem), and deal with so much awkwardness when someone catches a glimpse of one (or asks why I'm wearing sleeves in warm weather). It's very stressful, and today it seems to have caught up with me a bit.

Making things even more complicated, I've had some sort of rash developing on my chest and moving up my throat the past couple of months. I couldn't see it half of the time, as it wasn't reddish. It blended in with my skin so much that I didn't see to what extent it had spread. It feels irritated when I'm outside and feel warm. It seems much more red-like in color at those times. I'm hoping it's sort of heat rash/allergy.

I've gone to a dermatologist before, but had a bad experience with the treatment and didn't go back. Here, I finally made an appointment, and will address both problems.

It seems like before I had worn my skin issues as some sort of identity that was just part of who I was. Lately, it has been pervasive in every thought I have in public; I've become very anxious around people, and imagine what would happen if they saw my arms. It's hell.

Any thoughts are more than welcomed. Obviously the emotional ones first, given this forum and that I'm addressing it with a doctor.

Thanks!

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MemberMember
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(@lilblubutterfly)

Posted : 09/14/2014 12:28 am

I'm glad you're seeing a doctor... That rash and acne on your arms probably need a professional's attention.

I wish I had something more to say than that I can relate to how you feel. I've been dealing with cystic acne for over 15 years and it is exhausting. Hopefullly your doctor can help you. Don't give up if the first treatment option doesn't work. Best of luck!

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MemberMember
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(@zdr553)

Posted : 09/14/2014 7:33 am

Thank you, I really appreciate it!

I think the past two weeks have been a wake-up call that I've long needed. I shouldn't be satisfied with this lifestyle being the 'norm' for me. I've been in some sort of denial, as if by not getting it checked out, it would go away. Well, not the case.

It's somewhat comforting to read everyone's stories here. It's so hard to talk about this stuff in person, so being able to sit behind a computer and type it out is very helpful for me. I write a lot of fiction; yet, embedding my problems in metaphor with fictional characters is only so theraputic in the end. Sometimes it needs to said, even if painfully direct.

Thanks again.

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