Haven't posted here in ages, guess I just need to vent my feelings somewhere. My acne is finally gone (sure I get the occasional pimple but no where as bad as it was), after eating accutane and I'm still eating vitamin b5.
However something that just won't go away is my low self-esteem. I was so stunned when I got into my first and only relationship that my fear of being abandoned (because of how I looked) and my need for confirmation caused so much strain on the relationship that I had to go to therapy to handle it. Fast forward 3 years and I'm as happy as anyone can ever be. One year later we split up, and I'm back here again.
I think that's the worst thing about acne, I don't even know if there is something wrong with me now when it's gone, because I got so used to feeling and looking like shit when I had. And now that feeling is back again.
I know how you feel. I haven't had actual acne since I was 14, and I am 25 now. I still have some break outs here and there and I hate that, but for the most part I am clear. Sometimes I even get compliments on my skin from strangers. However, the few short years I actually had acne really took a toll on my self confidence. Not to mention I have always struggled with weight, so that is up and down. What sucks is that, even when I'm at my thinnest (in the 120's) and with clear skin, I still feel like I look like shit. In not ugly or anything, but I can't shake that feeling no matter what. Having been a fat pimply kid really fucked up my self esteem :/