I used to be really good friends with this brother and sister, like 30 YEARS AGO. I knew them from the time I was 11 until I was 16. Before my skin exploded and left me with scars and pores (and now wrinkles). We re-established contact about 7 months ago and it's been so GREAT! Everything via text and email (they live very far away). Well, obviously, I only send pictures where I look good. Everything A-OK. Except now, the brother is coming to visit and I am a MESS. Because now I have to confront this thing head on. My husband has been trying to calm me down, but I want to tell them I'm not going to be in town...this feels horrible. I'm so afraid of rejection and judgement and a look of surprise when he sees me for the first time. I'm not sure what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe for people that actually understand how I feel bcs my husband is too unicorns and flowers about it and I am FREAKING OUT. I "deal" with my skin. Not happy when I look in the mirror, but it's just part of who I am. Sucks, but it is what it is. My friends are people that have I have either known me since I had bad skin, or met me with my skin already in this condition. This is different. They knew me when I looked normal. Which is what is so painful about it. And if I'm going to be 100% honest, the brother has been very flirty - which is fun (and harmless bcs they live so far away) and I know that's all going to stop and it feels like rejection. Already.
why does it matter if youre already married and u wanna flirt ? LOL
This pretty much sums up what I was going to say too.
Think you should prioritize a bit and work on coming to terms with your skin for YOU first and foremost...instead of worrying about how it'll affect how you flirt with some random dude (when you're already married...)
I would feel the same way about seeing the sister. This is about the emotional and psychological effects of acne, right? The effect is that it's nice to connect with someone (via text and email) without being worried about my skin but now having to confront head on the fact that now I get to go back to a place I haven't been to in decades...potentially being rejected because of scarring and crappy skin texture. Friendly flirting is harmless. Being married doesn't make you immune to people's charm. Especially people you have a history with.
If the brother is a true friend, he won't give a sh*t. He may notice your acne but won't let it cloud his judgment of how you really are. That is, if he's cool. Since I've been through hell with acne in the past, whenever I see someone with it, I notice it but really don't let it affect how I think of them. If the bro is cool, he'll probably act similarly.
Can you cover it up? How long is this guy staying for? I mean if it bothers you so much, then cake on the make-up I guess. That's probably not the best for your skin...but I know how you feel...flirting is fun and if it's meaningless, it's probably fairly superficial and shallow so...I understand why it would upset you. But he'll still be your friend no matter what if he's a real one.