It is 5:15am UK time and I have not slept a wink all night. I have to go to work today but after a nightmare CBT session yesterday (see the below link to a post I posted yesterday), I just want to curl-up, hide and not face the world.

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/254626-how-ya-feelin-about-your-acne-today/?p=3370312.

The rational part of me knows that no one will say anything about my skin. The rational part also knows that there is so much more to me and everyone else than just our skin and appearance. However, when your therapist takes a photo of you that is hideous and ugly and then struggles to come up with any positive comment about your appearance and when you own sister pulls away from you when she goes to give you a peck on the cheek because she has noticed your breakout (this happened on Sunday), it is almost impossible to not feel repulsive and ugly.

MoonlitRiver, I wish that I could offer you some advice on your situation and how to get over it but I would be a hypocrite if I did as I certainly don`t practice what I preach. Sorry!

Oh dear, yeh I read your post about your CBT session yesterday. Sounds like your therapist misjudged this one. They do get it wrong sometimes, they are only human after all! It's also worth remembering that photos do not really accurately represent how people see you because they are still. Movement distracts the attention a lot and people are mostly going to be subconsciously concerned with interpreting your facial reactions to things that are going on in your conversation rather than focussing on the breakout that shows up so obviously on a still photograph.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to curl up and hide away from the world. I feel like that most days as well at the moment. I know it'sT hypocritical for me to say as I'm really struggling with this as well at the moment but please try to remember that there's so much more to you than the state of your skin: it does not dictate what you're like as a person and people value their friends on personality much more than on appearance. Chin up GUNNKE! We will get through this one day!!

Thanks for your support MoonlitRiver - it`s much appreciated.

My day has been better than I anticipated when I posted my comment at five o`clock this morning! I did go to work and although I didn`t really interact a great deal, managed to have a couple of conversations with work colleagues. After work, I went shopping. Normally when I`m feeling really self-conscious, I use a self-service check-out but today I deliberately went through a manned check-out and even managed to indulge in a bit of smalltalk with the cashier. Still don`t feel that great about myself but even though it may not be much,I feel that the fact that I went to work and went shopping is a small step in the right direction.

I really hope things improve for you. Hope you don`t mind me saying but having read some of your posts, you seem to be struggling not just with acne but with your self-esteem in general. You may not feel that you have much going for you but I can tell from the content of your posts that you are not only an intelligent and articulate person but also a kind and compassionate person. If nothing else, these are qualities that you should feel good about and be proud of.

You seem to be very rational about acne and appearance insomuchas that you know that there is so much more to us all than the state of our skin. However like me, you need to learn to apply that logic to yourself.

All the best.

It is 5:15am UK time and I have not slept a wink all night. I have to go to work today but after a nightmare CBT session yesterday (see the below link to a post I posted yesterday), I just want to curl-up, hide and not face the world.

http://www.acne.org/messageboard/topic/254626-how-ya-feelin-about-your-acne-today/?p=3370312.

The rational part of me knows that no one will say anything about my skin. The rational part also knows that there is so much more to me and everyone else than just our skin and appearance. However, when your therapist takes a photo of you that is hideous and ugly and then struggles to come up with any positive comment about your appearance and when you own sister pulls away from you when she goes to give you a peck on the cheek because she has noticed your breakout (this happened on Sunday), it is almost impossible to not feel repulsive and ugly.

MoonlitRiver, I wish that I could offer you some advice on your situation and how to get over it but I would be a hypocrite if I did as I certainly don`t practice what I preach. Sorry!

Oh dear, yeh I read your post about your CBT session yesterday. Sounds like your therapist misjudged this one. They do get it wrong sometimes, they are only human after all! It's also worth remembering that photos do not really accurately represent how people see you because they are still. Movement distracts the attention a lot and people are mostly going to be subconsciously concerned with interpreting your facial reactions to things that are going on in your conversation rather than focussing on the breakout that shows up so obviously on a still photograph.

I know exactly what you mean about wanting to curl up and hide away from the world. I feel like that most days as well at the moment. I know it'sT hypocritical for me to say as I'm really struggling with this as well at the moment but please try to remember that there's so much more to you than the state of your skin: it does not dictate what you're like as a person and people value their friends on personality much more than on appearance. Chin up GUNNKE! We will get through this one day!!

Thanks for your support MoonlitRiver - it`s much appreciated.

My day has been better than I anticipated when I posted my comment at five o`clock this morning! I did go to work and although I didn`t really interact a great deal, managed to have a couple of conversations with work colleagues. After work, I went shopping. Normally when I`m feeling really self-conscious, I use a self-service check-out but today I deliberately went through a manned check-out and even managed to indulge in a bit of smalltalk with the cashier. Still don`t feel that great about myself but even though it may not be much,I feel that the fact that I went to work and went shopping is a small step in the right direction.

I really hope things improve for you. Hope you don`t mind me saying but having read some of your posts, you seem to be struggling not just with acne but with your self-esteem in general. You may not feel that you have much going for you but I can tell from the content of your posts that you are not only an intelligent and articulate person but also a kind and compassionate person. If nothing else, these are qualities that you should feel good about and be proud of.

You seem to be very rational about acne and appearance insomuchas that you know that there is so much more to us all than the state of our skin. However like me, you need to learn to apply that logic to yourself.

All the best.

Hey GUNNKE, I'm so glad to hear that your day turned out better than you expected! I'm another one who always goes to the self-checkouts, even if the queue's longer haha! Good on you for not doing that though and don't underrate what you achieved today either. You may call it a "small step" and other people may see it as no step at all, but those of us who know what it's like to feel so self-conscious every day of your life recognise that it really is something you should be proud of and see as a real positive step forward.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm embarrassed to admit that the middle paragraph quite literally brought a tear to my eye! You're quite right, I'm fully aware that my self-esteem is practically non-existent haha. Actually it's pretty far into the negative and has been for years. In fact my head's just a state in general! I like helping other people with their problems and trying to get people to think more positively about their own situation (some of my friends actually call me their "agony aunt" haha - I can't decide whether that's a compliment or not!). Unfortunately I haven't quite grasped the concept of applying this logic and perspective to myself. Maybe one day I will. But in the meantime thank you for taking the time to make me smile

I feel your pain completely... I have mild/slight-moderate acne on my forehead and chin, but because of my painful insecurity I haven't really left my house in 2 1/2 months. Thanks to multiple dermatologist visits I have been on a regimen for two weeks and am hoping that it kicks in soon. I do NOT want to become an agoraphobic hermit! I find that I pass the time by watching, and re-watching, and re-re-watching the Harry Potter series passes the time. Distraction also helps pass the time. For example, I make themed collages, read inspirational novels, and play online games. Yeah, doesn't sound like much of a life... because it isn't. Hoping and praying for improvement soon!

Honestly, i wouldn't wish this emotional pain on anyone, ya know? I hope you feel better soon everyone Xo

Sounds pretty similar to my life Rosalie! Hopefully it will improve for us both soon

I have made some limited progress on this issue today. No, I have not actually left my house as of yet but I have made plans! I'm going out to do some fun things with a really good friend of mine on Sunday. Hopefully this can be the first baby step for me because I've lived with this person for two years before now and she knows a little bit about my skin insecurities (though not about quite how bad they've got recently!). Then I've arranged to see a friend that I haven't seen in over a year next Thursday. I'm really hoping that my skin will continue on its current path of improvement and be vaguely passable with make-up by Thursday and that she won't notice a massive difference from the last time she saw me. I know she probably wouldn't care anyway, but it's just humiliating for me if someone notices - I'm sure you all understand what I mean!

So now I'm just hoping that a) my skin continues to improve b) that I actually go through with both of these arrangements when it comes down to it and c) that I might even enjoy going out, seeing these friends, and feeling more like a normal human being again! This last one's a bit of a tall ask but if either or both of the first two happen that will be enough to satisfy me for the moment and will be a great improvement on the situation I've been in for the past couple of months!

I hope everyone else on here is doing ok. Stay positive everyone, we can beat this!

Sounds pretty similar to my life Rosalie! Hopefully it will improve for us both soon

I have made some limited progress on this issue today. No, I have not actually left my house as of yet but I have made plans! I'm going out to do some fun things with a really good friend of mine on Sunday. Hopefully this can be the first baby step for me because I've lived with this person for two years before now and she knows a little bit about my skin insecurities (though not about quite how bad they've got recently!). Then I've arranged to see a friend that I haven't seen in over a year next Thursday. I'm really hoping that my skin will continue on its current path of improvement and be vaguely passable with make-up by Thursday and that she won't notice a massive difference from the last time she saw me. I know she probably wouldn't care anyway, but it's just humiliating for me if someone notices - I'm sure you all understand what I mean!

So now I'm just hoping that a) my skin continues to improve b) that I actually go through with both of these arrangements when it comes down to it and c) that I might even enjoy going out, seeing these friends, and feeling more like a normal human being again! This last one's a bit of a tall ask but if either or both of the first two happen that will be enough to satisfy me for the moment and will be a great improvement on the situation I've been in for the past couple of months!

I hope everyone else on here is doing ok. Stay positive everyone, we can beat this!

That's great to hear!

Going out and catching up with friends will be great for you! I know the feeling though - when I make plans with old friends and they haven't seen my skin in a while, I always feel like cancelling at the last minute but that's not fair to them. And when I do go and catch up I end up having a great time -and a lot of that has to do with the fact I get distracted from my skin and end up feeling a lot better! I don't completely forget about it but it's better than if I stayed at home where I would end up focusing on my skin so much.

Hope you do go catch up with your friends and have great time!

Sounds pretty similar to my life Rosalie! Hopefully it will improve for us both soon

I have made some limited progress on this issue today. No, I have not actually left my house as of yet but I have made plans! I'm going out to do some fun things with a really good friend of mine on Sunday. Hopefully this can be the first baby step for me because I've lived with this person for two years before now and she knows a little bit about my skin insecurities (though not about quite how bad they've got recently!). Then I've arranged to see a friend that I haven't seen in over a year next Thursday. I'm really hoping that my skin will continue on its current path of improvement and be vaguely passable with make-up by Thursday and that she won't notice a massive difference from the last time she saw me. I know she probably wouldn't care anyway, but it's just humiliating for me if someone notices - I'm sure you all understand what I mean!

So now I'm just hoping that a) my skin continues to improve b) that I actually go through with both of these arrangements when it comes down to it and c) that I might even enjoy going out, seeing these friends, and feeling more like a normal human being again! This last one's a bit of a tall ask but if either or both of the first two happen that will be enough to satisfy me for the moment and will be a great improvement on the situation I've been in for the past couple of months!

I hope everyone else on here is doing ok. Stay positive everyone, we can beat this!

That's great to hear!

Going out and catching up with friends will be great for you! I know the feeling though - when I make plans with old friends and they haven't seen my skin in a while, I always feel like cancelling at the last minute but that's not fair to them. And when I do go and catch up I end up having a great time -and a lot of that has to do with the fact I get distracted from my skin and end up feeling a lot better! I don't completely forget about it but it's better than if I stayed at home where I would end up focusing on my skin so much.

Hope you do go catch up with your friends and have great time!

Thanks Lilly! You're right it's definitely time I bite the bullet and actually go out and see friends. If I cancel at the last minute I will be so furious at myself now and will probably feel even worse so I'm just going to have to go for it! Hopefully it will distract me from my skin and make me feel a bit better like it does for you

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement!

Please continue with your social plans! I know how psychologically damaging severe acne can be, and it's really tough trying to deal with the low self esteem and self-criticism. The more you allow it to affect you, the more it will consume your life. I had severe acne all over my face when I was 17, but Roaccutane helped to give me - an almost - complete remission for three years. During those three years, I was a different person. I didn't see a doctor once about my skin, as opposed to almost every three months beforehand. It was so liberating. However, as my acne has creeped back, I'm developing the same self-critical feelings, which I thought had gone completely and I wouldn't have to deal with again. It feels like I'd probably "buried" all these insecurities when my skin was clear. They never disappeared. I allowed them to build up so much when my acne was severe, that it has had a very potent affect on my wellbeing, and I am now currently trying to deal with these "past" insecurities as well as the present. It feels as if my past acne has been projected on to my face, despite my current acne not being as bad. It's almost borderline body dysmorphia, and I hate it. So please, try to get on with your life and ignore your acne. Work on your self esteem in other ways. Focus on your positive aspects. Your friends will see these in you! Instead of focusing on your acne when communicating with people, focus very deeply on something that you feel proud of. Hold yourself in a positive and happy manner, and you will radiate confidence. Your acne will most likely go unnoticed if you show the world how great you are. I like to think about this from another perspective; if I met somebody with acne that I could clearly see, I would notice their skin a lot more if they weren't smiling and trying to hide away. As I have acne myself, I would most likely feel empathetic towards them, which would draw my attention even closer to their skin. However, if I met somebody with a lot of confidence AND acne (and I have done), I would feel drawn to their positivity, and I would notice their qualities more so. I know this is all easier said than done, but acne is a horrid confidence-crusher, and it can slowly but surely eat away at your wellbeing if you allow it to.

I say give this regimen 3 day test. It's either going to work the first day or it wont.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone. Big cyst will take up to 3 weeks maybe 4. But everyday they will reduce in size.

Please continue with your social plans! I know how psychologically damaging severe acne can be, and it's really tough trying to deal with the low self esteem and self-criticism. The more you allow it to affect you, the more it will consume your life. I had severe acne all over my face when I was 17, but Roaccutane helped to give me - an almost - complete remission for three years. During those three years, I was a different person. I didn't see a doctor once about my skin, as opposed to almost every three months beforehand. It was so liberating. However, as my acne has creeped back, I'm developing the same self-critical feelings, which I thought had gone completely and I wouldn't have to deal with again. It feels like I'd probably "buried" all these insecurities when my skin was clear. They never disappeared. I allowed them to build up so much when my acne was severe, that it has had a very potent affect on my wellbeing, and I am now currently trying to deal with these "past" insecurities as well as the present. It feels as if my past acne has been projected on to my face, despite my current acne not being as bad. It's almost borderline body dysmorphia, and I hate it. So please, try to get on with your life and ignore your acne. Work on your self esteem in other ways. Focus on your positive aspects. Your friends will see these in you! Instead of focusing on your acne when communicating with people, focus very deeply on something that you feel proud of. Hold yourself in a positive and happy manner, and you will radiate confidence. Your acne will most likely go unnoticed if you show the world how great you are. I like to think about this from another perspective; if I met somebody with acne that I could clearly see, I would notice their skin a lot more if they weren't smiling and trying to hide away. As I have acne myself, I would most likely feel empathetic towards them, which would draw my attention even closer to their skin. However, if I met somebody with a lot of confidence AND acne (and I have done), I would feel drawn to their positivity, and I would notice their qualities more so. I know this is all easier said than done, but acne is a horrid confidence-crusher, and it can slowly but surely eat away at your wellbeing if you allow it to.

Thank you for your reply BlueMoon3! Acne is so psychologically damaging, it's ridiculous. It's literally turned me into a completely different person. I used to be so confident, carefree and active and now I'm practically a recluse, have spent the last 2 years combatting pretty bad depression (not really sure if this was caused by the acne but obviously it doesn't exactly help!) and am ridiculously nervous around people whenever I do go out in public. Totally pathetic really, haha!

I'd love to think that if I ever got my acne under control I might return to that outgoing confident person I was all those years ago but I've no idea if that would actually be the case - I've never had the luxury of such an opportunity to see! My self-esteem is much better than it was (like I rarely feel pure unadulterated hatred towards myself anymore) but it's still pretty low. I try my best to appear confident and happy if I'm with my friends but I'm literally the shyest person you could ever meet so I find it really really difficult to do! Most of the time I wish the ground would just swallow me up, or I could turn invisible so no eyes or attention would be on me. It's even worse with strangers because they make me so nervous that my hands shake and I forget what I'm supposed to be saying and get all tongue-tied so I just have to find a way to get out of the situation as soon as I can. In fact I avoid talking to strangers as much as humanly possible! Again, pretty pathetic...

Anyway thank you very much for your advice, I will try my best to give what you suggest a go!

I say give this regimen 3 day test. It's either going to work the first day or it wont.

Use this regimen 2 pumps of bp and 2 pumps of cetaphil moisturizer mixed with 30 drops of jojoba oil. Use CVS oilpads to wipe away shine. Your breakouts will stop immediately and within 2 weeks all existing pimples will be gone. Big cyst will take up to 3 weeks maybe 4. But everyday they will reduce in size.

Hey kevindreed, thanks for the regimen suggestion but unfortunately I know my skin's too sensitive to deal with that amount of benzoyl peroxide - it would literally destroy it! Glad it works for you though

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I have become so reclusive. I used to go for a long jog everyday around my neighborhood but I can't even manage to step outside without all my makeup being done. My skin is red and blotchy from scars and they look purple under my makeup. It's beyond frustratin. It's summer, I would like to go tanning, hang out with friends and not have to worry about my skin but it's impossible. So I hide inside, away from the sun, and everything else.

I feel ya Lynn8808!

I'm supposed to be going out and seeing a friend tomorrow but earlier today I took a few of photos of my skin in order to post a question on another thread - BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER!!!! It looked even worse in the photos than it did to me in the mirror, and that was pretty horrific to begin with! Now all I want to do is cancel I know I should be grateful that my skin's improving (if only at a snail pace) but I still look like a monster and I'm still getting new stuff surfacing and it's just so depressing to wake up and look in the mirror every morning to be confronted with that! How are we expected to be able to live like this?! It's some kind of sick joke and I just can't deal with it! I've had enough now!

Apologies for the miserable post. I needed to vent

Hi MoonlitRiver,

When I first sign in on acne.org, I usually click on the new content button and browse through some of the latest topics/posts. I did this earlier came across the epiduo thread.

I saw the picture of your jawline. I`m not going to lie to you and pretend that there is nothing there but having read some of your posts, I honestly expected your acne to be far worse than it actually appeared in the photo. If I had a friend who had a similar level of acne, it would not bother me in the slightest and I`m sure that is the case with the friend that you are meeting up with tomorrow.

What you experienced taking photos earlier sounds very similar to what happened when my photo was taken at my CBT session last week. I discussed the experience with my therapist in some detail yesterday. She mentioned that people with BDD tend to view themselves as some sort of inanimate object - for example, a painting or a picture. They think that just like a painting or a picture, their worth and value is going to be judged purely on their appearance. However unlike a painting or a picture, human beings have a multitude of other characteristics and qualities which make up the whole persona. These "x-factors" more than anything are what make you "attractive" to friends and partners and BDD sufferers tend to forget this. In the case of your friend, I`m pretty sure it is these other characteristics and qualities that you have that make them want to be your friend. Try to focus on that if you can.

I know it will be really hard but I do hope that you can summon up the courage to meet up with your friend tomorrow. If you do go ahead with it, I`m sure you will enjoy yourself and it will give you a boost of confidence.

Hi MoonlitRiver,

When I first sign in on acne.org, I usually click on the new content button and browse through some of the latest topics/posts. I did this earlier came across the epiduo thread.

I saw the picture of your jawline. I`m not going to lie to you and pretend that there is nothing there but having read some of your posts, I honestly expected your acne to be far worse than it actually appeared in the photo. If I had a friend who had a similar level of acne, it would not bother me in the slightest and I`m sure that is the case with the friend that you are meeting up with tomorrow.

What you experienced taking photos earlier sounds very similar to what happened when my photo was taken at my CBT session last week. I discussed the experience with my therapist in some detail yesterday. She mentioned that people with BDD tend to view themselves as some sort of inanimate object - for example, a painting or a picture. They think that just like a painting or a picture, their worth and value is going to be judged purely on their appearance. However unlike a painting or a picture, human beings have a multitude of other characteristics and qualities which make up the whole persona. These "x-factors" more than anything are what make you "attractive" to friends and partners and BDD sufferers tend to forget this. In the case of your friend, I`m pretty sure it is these other characteristics and qualities that you have that make them want to be your friend. Try to focus on that if you can.

I know it will be really hard but I do hope that you can summon up the courage to meet up with your friend tomorrow. If you do go ahead with it, I`m sure you will enjoy yourself and it will give you a boost of confidence.

Thank you for the kind words again GUNNKE That picture was chosen by me to upload precisely because it is the "best" looking part of my face that still shows the redness thing I'm having a problem with haha! It was a completely different photo (one of my whole face) that gave me such a shock when I saw it. But thank you for saying that anyway!

You'll probably think this is really stupid but I'm afraid I have no idea what this BDD thing is though I get what your therapist was saying about thinking of yourself as an inanimate object to be valued purely on its appearance. When I think of the things I like about my friends they're always things to do with their personality not their appearance but it's really hard to try to apply the same principles to yourself! I will try my best to focus on that as you suggest, although I'm just as critical about my personality as I am about my appearance in truth!

I will try to go through with it. I didn't end up doing the thing I had planned on Sunday but for once this wasn't actually to do with my skin (apparently toes don't appreciate you dropping full lever-arch files on them) so I've missed the middle step now but hopefully tomorrow will still help in any case

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Thank you for explaining! And for the wiki link. I've never heard of either of those conditions before but it made interesting, if kind of unpleasant, reading.

From my experience I'd guess that acne sufferers in general get a lot of those symptoms anyway. Presumably the difference between standard acne-related obsessive/depressive/anxiety symptoms and acne dysmorphia is the actual presence of moderate/severe acne then? Shame the only treatment for those symptoms in people with real bad acne is to get rid of the acne seeing as that seems to be so very difficult to do! I think I'd rather it were all or mostly in my head...

It`s hard to quantify but I think you are correct.

People who have moderate/severe acne and are distressed over their skin wouldn`t have acne dysmorphia in my opinion as they are not necessarily exaggerating their condition.

However, people who have relatively mild or no acne but think that it is far more severe than it really is could possibly be acne dysmorphic - especially if they obsess over it all the time and let it interfere with their day to day life. If I`m honest, that`s me in a nutshell.

The wiki link isn`t pleasant reading - sorry about that!

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Thank you for explaining! And for the wiki link. I've never heard of either of those conditions before but it made interesting, if kind of unpleasant, reading.

From my experience I'd guess that acne sufferers in general get a lot of those symptoms anyway. Presumably the difference between standard acne-related obsessive/depressive/anxiety symptoms and acne dysmorphia is the actual presence of moderate/severe acne then? Shame the only treatment for those symptoms in people with real bad acne is to get rid of the acne seeing as that seems to be so very difficult to do! I think I'd rather it were all or mostly in my head...

It`s hard to quantify but I think you are correct.

People who have moderate/severe acne and are distressed over their skin wouldn`t have acne dysmorphia in my opinion as they are not necessarily exaggerating their condition.

However, people who have relatively mild or no acne but think that it is far more severe than it really is could possibly be acne dysmorphic - especially if they obsess over it all the time and let it interfere with their day to day life. If I`m honest, that`s me in a nutshell.

The wiki link isn`t pleasant reading - sorry about that!

Ah right I get it, although it sounds like a bit of a fine line to me as it must be very difficult to gauge how far a person is or isn't exaggerating the severity of their own condition. Different people often experience different levels of distress from the same stimulus, though I guess they just have to draw the line somewhere for diagnostic and treatment purposes.

If someone's really acne dysmorphic I suppose at least they know it's then a case of changing their thinking rather than changing their physicality so they can begin to target the problem more head on. Obviously changing the way you think isn't easy - heck, it's one of the hardest things in the world! - but I still think it means there's a lot of hope of effectively improving your life!

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Thank you for explaining! And for the wiki link. I've never heard of either of those conditions before but it made interesting, if kind of unpleasant, reading.

From my experience I'd guess that acne sufferers in general get a lot of those symptoms anyway. Presumably the difference between standard acne-related obsessive/depressive/anxiety symptoms and acne dysmorphia is the actual presence of moderate/severe acne then? Shame the only treatment for those symptoms in people with real bad acne is to get rid of the acne seeing as that seems to be so very difficult to do! I think I'd rather it were all or mostly in my head...

It`s hard to quantify but I think you are correct.

People who have moderate/severe acne and are distressed over their skin wouldn`t have acne dysmorphia in my opinion as they are not necessarily exaggerating their condition.

However, people who have relatively mild or no acne but think that it is far more severe than it really is could possibly be acne dysmorphic - especially if they obsess over it all the time and let it interfere with their day to day life. If I`m honest, that`s me in a nutshell.

The wiki link isn`t pleasant reading - sorry about that!

Ah right I get it, although it sounds like a bit of a fine line to me as it must be very difficult to gauge how far a person is or isn't exaggerating the severity of their own condition. Different people often experience different levels of distress from the same stimulus, though I guess they just have to draw the line somewhere for diagnostic and treatment purposes.

If someone's really acne dysmorphic I suppose at least they know it's then a case of changing their thinking rather than changing their physicality so they can begin to target the problem more head on. Obviously changing the way you think isn't easy - heck, it's one of the hardest things in the world! - but I still think it means there's a lot of hope of effectively improving your life!

When you say that changing your way of thinking is one of the hardest things in the world, you are soooo correct!

You`ve probably guessed by now that I`m completely obsessed by all things acne/acne related. By my own admission, over the years I have scoured by internet in the search for more information (it`s how I came across acne.org haha!) Anyway, when I first heard the term acne dysmorphia, I came across an article about a girl who had/has acne dysmorphia. She was in quite a bad way but appears to have come to terms with herself to an extent now. Here is the link:

http://www.highonhealth.org/living-with-acne-dysmorphia-desperation-for-a-clear-complexion/

Just to warn you, the article is quite distressing in parts so if you think it may upset you reading this, PLEASE don`t click on the link.

I was thinking that your skin looks quite similar to mine from the photo in your Epiduo thread (although my redness has faded because my skin is pretty much used to the BP now).

I hope you do decide to go through with meeting this friend. I think it will be good for you! Do whatever else you can to boost confidence or make you feel better about yourself / appearance - like a little makeup if you want or wearing clothes that you like etc - I find that helps me sometimes (dressing up a bit or just feeling good about what I'm wearing). Sounds a bit weird but it helps me a bit.

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Just curious - do you know if someone can still have acne dysmorphic disorder if their acne isn't mild and is more moderate / severe? Like if you obviously have an issue with acne (it's not 'imagined' or mild) and have a lot of anxiety or depression associated with acne? Or could that just be more BDD?

From what I've head and read I do think I have aspects of one or both... and like I mentioned a while ago, I probably should see a professional about it but I struggle to talk about this sort of stuff with anyone face to face... I don't know how I'd manage to talk about this 'deep' stuff with a stranger. I also feel like I know a lot of the logic behind why people react like this and the ways to combat it.... I obviously don't know everything but I sort of wonder how helpful it would be anyway... maybe that's just me talking myself out of it though... (sorry this turned into me rambling a bit).

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Thank you for explaining! And for the wiki link. I've never heard of either of those conditions before but it made interesting, if kind of unpleasant, reading.

From my experience I'd guess that acne sufferers in general get a lot of those symptoms anyway. Presumably the difference between standard acne-related obsessive/depressive/anxiety symptoms and acne dysmorphia is the actual presence of moderate/severe acne then? Shame the only treatment for those symptoms in people with real bad acne is to get rid of the acne seeing as that seems to be so very difficult to do! I think I'd rather it were all or mostly in my head...

It`s hard to quantify but I think you are correct.

People who have moderate/severe acne and are distressed over their skin wouldn`t have acne dysmorphia in my opinion as they are not necessarily exaggerating their condition.

However, people who have relatively mild or no acne but think that it is far more severe than it really is could possibly be acne dysmorphic - especially if they obsess over it all the time and let it interfere with their day to day life. If I`m honest, that`s me in a nutshell.

The wiki link isn`t pleasant reading - sorry about that!

Ah right I get it, although it sounds like a bit of a fine line to me as it must be very difficult to gauge how far a person is or isn't exaggerating the severity of their own condition. Different people often experience different levels of distress from the same stimulus, though I guess they just have to draw the line somewhere for diagnostic and treatment purposes.

If someone's really acne dysmorphic I suppose at least they know it's then a case of changing their thinking rather than changing their physicality so they can begin to target the problem more head on. Obviously changing the way you think isn't easy - heck, it's one of the hardest things in the world! - but I still think it means there's a lot of hope of effectively improving your life!

When you say that changing your way of thinking is one of the hardest things in the world, you are soooo correct!

You`ve probably guessed by now that I`m completely obsessed by all things acne/acne related. By my own admission, over the years I have scoured by internet in the search for more information (it`s how I came across acne.org haha!) Anyway, when I first heard the term acne dysmorphia, I came across an article about a girl who had/has acne dysmorphia. She was in quite a bad way but appears to have come to terms with herself to an extent now. Here is the link:

http://www.highonhealth.org/living-with-acne-dysmorphia-desperation-for-a-clear-complexion/

Just to warn you, the article is quite distressing in parts so if you think it may upset you reading this, PLEASE don`t click on the link.

Oh believe me I know! I have depression and am currently dependent on drugs to change my own thinking so I'd never suggest to anyone else that is was easy. Ha, I'm so ashamed of it that I've only ever admitted that to one other living person so I've absolutely no idea why I'm writing it on some anonymous internet forum... But hey, I'm sure you guys probably won't judge me too badly for it!

Anyway, it means I'm not easily upset when it comes to reading things like that article, although it did hit a bit too close to home for comfort and was quite a sad read. I'm glad she's getting some proper help and on her way to conquering this illness now! I can relate to the vast majority of the symptoms from the wiki link (I am totally and utterly obsessed with the state of my skin) but the only difference is that I actually do have pretty horrific acne. (My GP said it was cystic when she saw me 3 weeks ago and referred me to a dermatologist so I presume she wouldn't say that for no reason. I'm not under any delusions, I know the three treatments I'm on have now reduced it to what I think would now be termed "moderate" and I'm very grateful for that! It just hasn't made me any less self-conscious about it...) I guess the only thing you can do to combat the psychological symptoms then is to go to a dermatologist and treat the root cause, which I'm already going to be doing in the NHS's good time.

Thanks for sharing the link though, it was a sad but interesting read.

I was thinking that your skin looks quite similar to mine from the photo in your Epiduo thread (although my redness has faded because my skin is pretty much used to the BP now).

I hope you do decide to go through with meeting this friend. I think it will be good for you! Do whatever else you can to boost confidence or make you feel better about yourself / appearance - like a little makeup if you want or wearing clothes that you like etc - I find that helps me sometimes (dressing up a bit or just feeling good about what I'm wearing). Sounds a bit weird but it helps me a bit.

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Just curious - do you know if someone can still have acne dysmorphic disorder if their acne isn't mild and is more moderate / severe? Like if you obviously have an issue with acne (it's not 'imagined' or mild) and have a lot of anxiety or depression associated with acne? Or could that just be more BDD?

From what I've head and read I do think I have aspects of one or both... and like I mentioned a while ago, I probably should see a professional about it but I struggle to talk about this sort of stuff with anyone face to face... I don't know how I'd manage to talk about this 'deep' stuff with a stranger. I also feel like I know a lot of the logic behind why people react like this and the ways to combat it.... I obviously don't know everything but I sort of wonder how helpful it would be anyway... maybe that's just me talking myself out of it though... (sorry this turned into me rambling a bit).

Thanks Lilly. Like I said to GUNNKE yesterday that photo shows the "best" bit of my face but it's still nice to know that you guys don't think it looks too horrific! I guess that means the treatments really must be improving it

I will definitely be wearing a good deal of make-up but I will also take your advice about wearing some of my favourite clothes to see if that can boost my confidence a bit. I'm really really worried about it but hopefully it will go better than I expect! I'll keep you posted! (Assuming that you're remotely interested haha!)

I know the bottom bit of your comment wasn't aimed at me but I would say that if you can make yourself talk face-to-face with someone professional about your feelings then you should consider doing so. I've been trying to make myself for years and have read every depression/social anxiety self-help leaflet on the internet plus numerous books and an online CBT programme and I still haven't been able to successfully apply these principles to myself and help myself move forward in any way. I think when it gets to a certain stage you really need some kind of external help because you get so set in your way of thinking that you need someone else to tell you which of your thoughts have become distorted and how. Otherwise you end up failing to "fix" the most important bits of your problem because you don't even realise that those bits are wrong in the first place if you see what I mean. Sorry I don't really know how to word that more coherently but I hope it makes some sense to you! Obviously it's completely up to you whether or not you think it's the right thing to do at this point in time

I was thinking that your skin looks quite similar to mine from the photo in your Epiduo thread (although my redness has faded because my skin is pretty much used to the BP now).

I hope you do decide to go through with meeting this friend. I think it will be good for you! Do whatever else you can to boost confidence or make you feel better about yourself / appearance - like a little makeup if you want or wearing clothes that you like etc - I find that helps me sometimes (dressing up a bit or just feeling good about what I'm wearing). Sounds a bit weird but it helps me a bit.

Sorry MoonlightRiver!

BDD is an abbreviation for body dysmorphic disorder - an anxiety disorder where the sufferer spends a lot of time worrying about their appearance and has a distorted view of how they look. It is usually focused on a minor flaw like a small scar for example or it could be an entirely imaginary flaw and it can be on any part of the body. In both cases, the sufferer is convinced that the flaw is abnormal and believes they are ugly or defective.

Acne dysmorphia is a related condition where the focus of anxiety is related to the skin and the condition of skin. Very often, the sufferer has mild acne or no acne at all but they still believe that their condition is severe and that they are repulsive and ugly.

If you want to know more,there are probably plenty of people on these forums who could explain both conditions better than I have. Alternatively, below is a wikipedia link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder

I`ve never been officially "diagnosed" but my CBT therapist thinks but I have traits of both conditions. I would have to agree.

By the way, hope you don`t think that I was trying to imply that you have either of these.

Just curious - do you know if someone can still have acne dysmorphic disorder if their acne isn't mild and is more moderate / severe? Like if you obviously have an issue with acne (it's not 'imagined' or mild) and have a lot of anxiety or depression associated with acne? Or could that just be more BDD?

From what I've head and read I do think I have aspects of one or both... and like I mentioned a while ago, I probably should see a professional about it but I struggle to talk about this sort of stuff with anyone face to face... I don't know how I'd manage to talk about this 'deep' stuff with a stranger. I also feel like I know a lot of the logic behind why people react like this and the ways to combat it.... I obviously don't know everything but I sort of wonder how helpful it would be anyway... maybe that's just me talking myself out of it though... (sorry this turned into me rambling a bit).

Lily75 as I explained to Moonlit River, I think people who have mild acne or no acne and exaggerate their condition are more likely to be acne dysmorphic than people who have moderate/severe acne. However, I do think that someone with moderate/severe acne could possibly also be acne dysmorphic if they spend their whole life obsessing over their acne, are affected mentally and isolate themselves socially. It`s a hard thing to gauge though.

Acne dysmorphia and BDD are closely related in my opinion .BDD can be anything anywhere on the body whereas acne dysmorphia is an obsession with the condition of the skin. In both conditions the sufferer has a distorted view of their appearance and convince themselves that minor or imaginary flaws make them repulsive/hideous/ugly so both conditions are pretty much interlinked.

In terms of having some form of therapy, I can only speak for myself but I am having CBT at the moment and I find it really helpful. The hardest thing was opening up initially but after a couple of sessions, I managed to develop a relationship with my therapist where I felt comfortable enough to divulge all of my innermost feelings.

I wouldn`t dream of telling you what to do but if you find that having acne is affecting you to such a degree that it is impacting on your mental health and your quality of life in general, having some form of counselling/therapy is definitely worth considering. There is a bit of stigma attached (only two real-life people know that I have CBT) but the way I see it, it is not a weakness to admit that you need help. However, as I think Moonlit River said, it has to feel comfortable and be the right time for you and only you can decide that.

Hope this helps a bit and doesn`t come across as being total waffle! It`s hard to know what to say.

Oh believe me I know! I have depression and am currently dependent on drugs to change my own thinking so I'd never suggest to anyone else that is was easy. Ha, I'm so ashamed of it that I've only ever admitted that to one other living person so I've absolutely no idea why I'm writing it on some anonymous internet forum... But hey, I'm sure you guys probably won't judge me too badly for it!

Anyway, it means I'm not easily upset when it comes to reading things like that article, although it did hit a bit too close to home for comfort and was quite a sad read. I'm glad she's getting some proper help and on her way to conquering this illness now! I can relate to the vast majority of the symptoms from the wiki link (I am totally and utterly obsessed with the state of my skin) but the only difference is that I actually do have pretty horrific acne. (My GP said it was cystic when she saw me 3 weeks ago and referred me to a dermatologist so I presume she wouldn't say that for no reason. I'm not under any delusions, I know the three treatments I'm on have now reduced it to what I think would now be termed "moderate" and I'm very grateful for that! It just hasn't made me any less self-conscious about it...) I guess the only thing you can do to combat the psychological symptoms then is to go to a dermatologist and treat the root cause, which I'm already going to be doing in the NHS's good time.

Thanks for sharing the link though, it was a sad but interesting read.

Moonlit River, I`ve not quoted the whole discussion as I was starting to lose track of all the quotes (my old age lol) . I`ve just copied and pasted your last reply.

There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of admitting that you have depression and are dependent on drugs. I don`t take them currently but I have taken anti-d`s in the past myself so I certainly wouldn`t judge you in a negative light because of it.

You appear to be doing everything in your power to control your acne in terms of treatment and that is brilliant. However, hope you don`t mind me saying this but don`t totally neglect the psychological side - it`s a mistake that I have made in the past. When I had really bad cystic acne in my teens and early twenties, I focused everything on clearing up my acne thinking my life would get better once it cleared up. It has never been 100% clear but it has gotten a lot better in recent years. However, because I didn`t work on my self-esteem and self-worth for all those years, even though the acne got better, I was still left with a lot of the hang-ups and anxieties that I had when my acne was at it`s worst. This is why I`m having CBT at the ripe old age of 40.

By the way, if you did decide to go ahead and meet-up with your friend, hope you had a good time!

Moonlit River, I`ve not quoted the whole discussion as I was starting to lose track of all the quotes (my old age lol) . I`ve just copied and pasted your last reply.

There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of admitting that you have depression and are dependent on drugs. I don`t take them currently but I have taken anti-d`s in the past myself so I certainly wouldn`t judge you in a negative light because of it.

You appear to be doing everything in your power to control your acne in terms of treatment and that is brilliant. However, hope you don`t mind me saying this but don`t totally neglect the psychological side - it`s a mistake that I have made in the past. When I had really bad cystic acne in my teens and early twenties, I focused everything on clearing up my acne thinking my life would get better once it cleared up. It has never been 100% clear but it has gotten a lot better in recent years. However, because I didn`t work on my self-esteem and self-worth for all those years, even though the acne got better, I was still left with a lot of the hang-ups and anxieties that I had when my acne was at it`s worst. This is why I`m having CBT at the ripe old age of 40.

By the way, if you did decide to go ahead and meet-up with your friend, hope you had a good time!

Thanks GUNNKE I don't really know why I'm ashamed of it but I am so there we go. I guess it just feels pretty pathetic to admit that you can't actually cope with the state of your own mind or control your own thoughts properly without the input of drugs if you know what I mean. Nice that it doesn't bother you though!

I am trying so hard to tackle my acne at the moment so I really really hope it works out this time! I know I have some serious issues to tackle on the psychological side as well but I don't really know how to go about it. The anti-depressants brought me back from the absolute brink but now I don't really know what to do next to be honest. They seem to kind of numb down the crushing emotional side of it but the thoughts, poor self-esteem (still bordering on self-hatred), sleep problems, anxiety etc. are still there if you get what I mean. Like I said to Lilly, I've been through every self-help resource imaginable for depression and social anxiety and none of them have really helped. The social anxiety's better than it was since taking the drugs but it's still too bad for me to really contemplate opening up about my feelings to a stranger (not face-to-face anyway) so I suppose for the moment it's just a case of hanging on in there until things get better...

On a lighter note, I did go through with it and meet up with my friend today and I can honestly say that I had a really fun afternoon! I pleasantly surprised myself and was pleased I went in the end

Edit: Also I just realised this quote of yours sounds far too much like me: "I do think that someone with moderate/severe acne could possibly also be acne dysmorphic if they spend their whole life obsessing over their acne, are affected mentally and isolate themselves socially." Was I wrong in thinking that it's only acne dysmorphia if the acne is mild or non-existent then? (Sorry if it sounds like I'm quizzing you, I'm just trying to understand is all...)

Moonlit River, I`ve not quoted the whole discussion as I was starting to lose track of all the quotes (my old age lol) . I`ve just copied and pasted your last reply.

There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of admitting that you have depression and are dependent on drugs. I don`t take them currently but I have taken anti-d`s in the past myself so I certainly wouldn`t judge you in a negative light because of it.

You appear to be doing everything in your power to control your acne in terms of treatment and that is brilliant. However, hope you don`t mind me saying this but don`t totally neglect the psychological side - it`s a mistake that I have made in the past. When I had really bad cystic acne in my teens and early twenties, I focused everything on clearing up my acne thinking my life would get better once it cleared up. It has never been 100% clear but it has gotten a lot better in recent years. However, because I didn`t work on my self-esteem and self-worth for all those years, even though the acne got better, I was still left with a lot of the hang-ups and anxieties that I had when my acne was at it`s worst. This is why I`m having CBT at the ripe old age of 40.

By the way, if you did decide to go ahead and meet-up with your friend, hope you had a good time!

Thanks GUNNKE I don't really know why I'm ashamed of it but I am so there we go. I guess it just feels pretty pathetic to admit that you can't actually cope with the state of your own mind or control your own thoughts properly without the input of drugs if you know what I mean. Nice that it doesn't bother you though!

I am trying so hard to tackle my acne at the moment so I really really hope it works out this time! I know I have some serious issues to tackle on the psychological side as well but I don't really know how to go about it. The anti-depressants brought me back from the absolute brink but now I don't really know what to do next to be honest. They seem to kind of numb down the crushing emotional side of it but the thoughts, poor self-esteem (still bordering on self-hatred), sleep problems, anxiety etc. are still there if you get what I mean. Like I said to Lilly, I've been through every self-help resource imaginable for depression and social anxiety and none of them have really helped. The social anxiety's better than it was since taking the drugs but it's still too bad for me to really contemplate opening up about my feelings to a stranger (not face-to-face anyway) so I suppose for the moment it's just a case of hanging on in there until things get better...

On a lighter note, I did go through with it and meet up with my friend today and I can honestly say that I had a really fun afternoon! I pleasantly surprised myself and was pleased I went in the end

Edit: Also I just realised this quote of yours sounds far too much like me: "I do think that someone with moderate/severe acne could possibly also be acne dysmorphic if they spend their whole life obsessing over their acne, are affected mentally and isolate themselves socially." Was I wrong in thinking that it's only acne dysmorphia if the acne is mild or non-existent then? (Sorry if it sounds like I'm quizzing you, I'm just trying to understand is all...)

Moonlit River, I`m really sorry for ever bringing up the subject of BDD/acne dysmorphia. I`m worried that you are going to obsess yourself over it and it will be down to me.

It could well be that you have some of the characteristics and traits associated with acne dysmorphia but I`m not an expert or a medical professional. I`m just someone who has read up a little bit on the subject and come across the term acne dysmorphia during the course of their CBT. You can take what I say with a pinch of salt because I`m not qualified to make an assessment.

It does not change your situation at all. You have taken a really positive step today and you should be congratulating yourself on that. I know how hard it must have been to meet up with your friend today. However, you did it and that is what you should be focusing on - not a little known psychological condition that some random bloke on an internet forum has told you about.

Moonlit River, I`m really sorry for ever bringing up the subject of BDD/acne dysmorphia. I`m worried that you are going to obsess yourself over it and it will be down to me.

It could well be that you have some of the characteristics and traits associated with acne dysmorphia but I`m not an expert or a medical professional. I`m just someone who has read up a little bit on the subject and come across the term acne dysmorphia during the course of their CBT. You can take what I say with a pinch of salt because I`m not qualified to make an assessment.

It does not change your situation at all. You have taken a really positive step today and you should be congratulating yourself on that. I know how hard it must have been to meet up with your friend today. However, you did it and that is what you should be focusing on - not a little known psychological condition that some random bloke on an internet forum has told you about.

Sorry GUNNKE I didn't mean to freak you out and I should never have outpoured at you like that either. That was my mistake so please forgive me for it. And sorry for quizzing you about the acne dysmorphia, I was just interested is all.

Thanks for the encouragement about going out. It's nice to know there's at least one other living person out there who understands what a big step it was for me so thank you for that.