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I hope other people can relate to this. I have never been really really self conscious of what my skin looks like in the morning after such things like camping, sleepovers, etc. My skin took a turn for the worse about 5 months ago, and I'm much more embarrassed by my skin and what people are thinking when they see me now.
My sister is getting married and she had a weekend bachelorette at the beach. I didn't go down until the last day specifically because I didn't want to have to take my makeup off and all that implies and share a room with girls that I don't know. I have a very strict routine of washing my face and doing my makeup and that's very hard to do in front of women, especially women who can just wake up and not have to put on makeup at all.
Now all the ladies want to sleep over on the night before the wedding. My sister keeps asking me why I don't want to sleep over with them, how the hell do you explain why? It's so easy for them to just wake up and not have to worry about their skin. Are there other women who have the same challenges like me??
You could remind yourself that most people are so busy thinking about themselves that they hardly have any time left over to think about others, and especially not the details of someone else's life. That's kind of pessimistic, and so if you are basically an optimist, as I am, you could remind yourself that most people are not nearly as judgmental about you as you are about yourself.
Or you could plan on going for the weekend, but tell yourself that if you really really don't want to go, at the last minute you will send a text that you think you have a cold and don't want anyone else to catch it, especially your sister on the day before her wedding. It helps to have a backup plan, because then you feel more in control and comfortable with your doubts about the weekend.
I went through the same thing. I got up extra early to do my makeup. At night, I washed my face when everyone went to bed. One night I did not wash my face. It was 2 nights in a hotel. It was hard, but I got through it even though it cost me some sleep. Good luck. It will work out!!
Been through this, I seldom had sleepovers in my youth, and when I did it would be really stressful thinking how I must not be seen without make up at all costs. I used to take my make up off only after everyone was asleep and get up early to do it all again, felt like such a chore. Sometimes I would even sleep in my make up which I hated but at the time felt I didn't have a choice.
These days I just about feel comfortable being bare faced in front of my hubby after our recent chat about my acne story, but I remember about a year ago we went away to his log cabin together and he announced at the eleventh hour that some of our mutual friends would be joining us and it made me flip out, felt so guilty cos they're good people and I really like them, but it flipped a switch in me cos my first thoughts were lack of privacy and how can I avoid them noticing my skin? And at this point in my life my skin was not actually so bad at all.
Omg thank you for input, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. The bachelorette already happened and I did the same thing as you. I had to wake up earlier than normal so I could get my makeup on in time before everyone else got up.
Nope, you are not the only one. Mine was actually a bachelorette weekend too. And it was
friends who I spent many years with when I never had acne. I have not seem them in a while. Broke out just like you within thel last 5 months. I have another Bach party with them in
a few months so I am hoping things will be better by then. I would just tell your sister yes and be pretty excited about it so she doesn't suspect anything if you cancel. Then if you feel
really uncomfortable, do what the person said above. But I would do a stomach ache instead. Best of luck!
I agree, sleeping over can really be the worst.
But it doesn't have to be so bad. I just wait until all the lights are off and basically everyone is going to sleep, and then I go to the bathroom and take my makeup off. Then I usually wake up earlier than everyone else and shower and put my makeup on.
It doesn't look weird, it just looks like you're on top of things and getting everything done before everyone else, lol.
Actually I find that women respond more negatively to something weird like getting up really early to put on your makeup than seeing your acne. They may stare a bit at your acne, but most women with a shred of decency with sympathize with your flaws. Getting up hours before everyone else to do your makeup makes you look like a high-maintenance prick straight out of Mean Girls.
I had a roommate once who got up every morning at a god-awful hour to do her hair and makeup. Maybe she had acne or she was going bald or something, I don't know. But most everyone hated her because she tried too hard. I know if I'm at a bachelorette party, I don't want to feel pressured to dress up because the sister of the bride looks like a porcelain doll at 6 in the morning!!!
Hide your flaws too well and you cut yourself off from genuine relationships warts and all. Everyone has their demons, yours are just more on the outside.
It's great that you opened up to her in the end
Yeh I know what you mean. I just slept with my makeup on, and I woke up looking cakey and feeling like my skin was being suffocated. And when I finally got home and took the makeup off, it didn't relieve that suffocating feeling at all. My face looked all dry and irritated. So I would try to be brave or maybe try a tinted moisturizer or BB cream if there's no way you can suffice without covering up?
I know exactly what you're talking about. I've suffered with inflammatory cystic acne my whole life and although it's under control now, I'm extremely hesitant about doing any overnights where I lack privacy. Why? Because of all those years where my acne was so unpredictable. I could go to sleep with clear skin and wake up next morning with red inflammed bumps full of pus (sorry) and then what would I do? In the privacy of my own home I could wash gently, perhaps taking care of surface whiteheads, apply medication. Wait. Apply makeup carefully. All this requires quiet and concentration to do things right without irritating the skin. I am sooooo envious of women who can just wake up and go without really paying any attention to their skin!
And I disagree with the poster above. If you struggle with really inflammatory acne then it is unsightly...it is not just a couple of small pimples like people get. It is larger outbreaks that look really bad on an adult woman.
So what would I do? I'd wait until the last minute to see how my skin was doing. Then if things appeared okay then I'd take the risk. Didn't always work. I remember a couple of years ago doing that and waking up to a huge infected cyst. I was sharing a hotel room. No privacy...washbasin was part of the room. It was really stressful. I woke up early and tried to do my routine quietly without waking others. Totally stressed out...and my skin looked like shit. Couldn't get the makeup right due to wierd lighting. It was really embarrasing. All the other people had perfectly clear skin (like most adults) and I looked like some kind of teenager with hormone problems (sigh).
In the past I've talked my derm into giving me oral antibiotics for a big event. This gives me the edge to stay clear but doesn't always work.
I'm now mostly clear due to the complicated regime below. I struggle with the emotional scarring of acne and so many years of dealing with it. I give myself the option to wait until the last minute to decide if I'm going to do something. This is how I deal with the emotional stress. If my skin is finicky then I say my stomach is acting up and I don't go. Oh well. I think that adult acne that is so inflammatory is partly rosacea. This is what my derm says. Rosacea acne is reactive to stress and unpredictable environments...ie foods you don't normally eat, different water, etc.
The current thing I'm dealing with is my husband wants us to camp with some friends. This is the worst scenario. The bathrooms are totally open, very primitive, and there is no hot water. There are no decent mirrors for makeup and no privacy. I hate camping. Actually I would love camping except for my skin. So I have been actively checking out campgrounds with better facilities...perhaps even shower rooms where I can have some privacy.
Sad thing is I remember when I was in my twenties and thinking I would outgrow this. I was more outgoing and because others were also still dealing with acne I didn't feel too strange with red bumpy skin. At my age now though it looks really bad to have acne, especially visibly inflammed acne.
My skin reacts to stress. Right now I have a small pimple on my lip that came out overnight after a week of stress. Granted this isn't very bad and I can deal with it but the PTSD of acne means that it brings up all the other times I have broken out...and I worry...will it get worse? Will my regime stop working? Etc.
This is an ongoing mental battle to stay healthy, in the present, and okay with how things are.
Best of luck. No, you are not alone in struggling with this. I would say every serious acne sufferer out there has felt that way and has avoided events because of their acne. Sad but true...
Thank you so much! It's nice to hear other personal struggles and that you're not alone. At my sisters bachelorette party, all the girls came back to shower after being on the beach. One of the ladies while getting dressed says, "do you think I need any makeup tonight? I think I can go without it tonight, let my face breathe" I remember thinking, gee I wish I had that option.
