This past weekend I've felt like total crap because of how bad my acne is. I really don't feel comfortable sharing my acne problems to anyone in person so I thought I'd spill to people who actually understand what I'm going through. Not everyone that is full of shit and have no clue about what it's like to have acne.
How it started
Towards the end of 8th grade year last year, I started to get acne. It was very light on my face, maybe a whitehead or a small pimple. Than later on with about 2 weeks left I had SEVERE back acne, cystic acne. I couldn't even sleep at night because it hurt (It's still the same). I didn't feel to bad about it because no one would find out, throughout summer I tried some remedies but I really didn't care. I was looking forward to starting high school, I had hit a growth spurt, gained some muscle and had girls tell me I was cute. I was feeling real good about myself and excited to start the best portion of my life. I had about 1 week left till the orientation when it happened. It started around my mouth and spread ALL over my face. My high school is the biggest high school in the Bay Area so it's multiple schools combined and this was my first impression to all the people that didn't come to my middle school. It was terrible. This was suppose to be a new chapter in my life, not a new chapter in some horror book.
Now
I've dealt with about 9 months of acne. I've tried antibiotics, face creams, home remedies. I tried everything and nothing works. I'm sick of the fact that I have to wake up every single morning and run to the mirror just to see how bad the new breakout was. I'm sick of the fact that I can't go out their and live my life like everyone else seems to do. No one else has to worry about looking like a monster because of acne all over their face, they're just simply living life. I'm sick of the fact that only a select few of us have to deal with this crap EVERY single day. During first period, I rarely talk to anyone because I don't want anyone to see my acne. I'm sick of the fact that for once in my life I was finally starting to get girls to think I'm attractive (I was never the shy/alone type but I never got any girls either I guess). I'm sick of the fact that I actually stood a chance with my crush. She's so beautiful and she actually said I was cute, I had a chance to be with her but acne held me back. I'm a bitter 15 year old. I'm just fed up with not being able to live like any normal kid would want to. I see people having so much fun with whatever they're doing and I can't. My self esteem/confidence are at an all time low. It's making me hate myself, my personality. Everything. I'm just sick of it, sometimes I just cry to myself (Yes, I'm a male). But I just can't help myself, I feel so alone. I feel like I have no real friends, I feel like everyone of my friends are fake. I just want to like like any normal teen is living.Partying, exploring, learning and all that good stuff. but I can't and I'm sick of it.
I don't wake up and look forward to the day, I look forward to summer. I have 4 weeks left of school and this year is a failure, I just want to get through with this year. I'm going to start working out, changing my personality, and try to develop confidence for sophmore year. My accutane is going to be shipped in within a week. Hopefully, this can all change and I can forget about this year and have a new me by soph year.
Anyone who takes the time to read this and reply, I want to thank you because it really does mean alot to me. This is the only place where I can actually share what I'm going through and not get judged on it.
I can relate I'm sure we all can. I know it feels good to rant and get stuff off your chest. I'm way older than you so I cant give you advice about dealing with your acne at school. Only thing I can say is dont waste your youth.
Sorry I'm not much help but I needed to reply because I did read it all. Wish I could help bro. You really should open up to someone you know.
I can relate I'm sure we all can. I know it feels good to rant and get stuff off your chest. I'm way older than you so I cant give you advice about dealing with your acne at school. Only thing I can say is dont waste your youth.
Sorry I'm not much help but I needed to reply because I did read it all. Wish I could help bro. You really should open up to someone you know.
I understand, one can only help so much through a forum but it feels better to just share my feelings. Thank you, alot.
Hey, after you replied to mine i was looking through yours and found this, this is exactly how i have been feeling, are you on the regimen? I think for me it is helping a bit so im going to keep going on it aswell as the accutane, hopefully within a couple of months we will both have our normal lives back, if you need to talk about it at all message me, I think your in america? Im in australia, but i will reply to messages asap as the internert is my new life seeming i dont want to leave the house haha anyway hope this helped cya
Hey, just wanted to give a girls point of view on this....
When I was 15 I hated how much acne ruined my life and it pretty much did, I rarely went out, I didn't like meeting new people it was just horrible and dull. I went to an all girls school so I can't imagine what it's like but let me tell you that whilst you're worrying about your skin, the girl you like is 100% worrying about her insecurities. Trust me, whenever I used to be around someone I liked it was like all I could think was acne, acne, acne! But guess what - she isn't thinking about that she is probably wondering why you won't look her in the eyes and would you like her more if she was skinnier/ prettier/ blond etc.
So you've just got to breathe, and venting is good too - get it off your chest but try and do something about it. You'll never get back the years you lose to acne so you may as well enjoy your life and quite frankly if your friends or crush can't see past spots then they aren't worth having in your life.
Ok pep talk done... hope that accutane works for you like it has for so many others 
I would also like to give a girl's point of view on this.
At your age, everyone expects everyone else to have at least some acne. And because of this, we usually look past it. People will not define you by your acne, I promise. If girls are calling you cute..then you are, even with acne! Trust me, it takes a lot for girls to compliment a guy, so if your crush called you cute, she still thinks it. Acne does not change the fact that you are a good looking person. I wish someone had told me that in high school at your age (I'm 22 now). People can still see your face through your acne. They still see your facial features, your smile, your eyes. They can still enjoy your personality and your laugh.
I wish you the best on Accutane. I've never been on it, but I really hope it works for you. It's no fun to go through high school believing that you're not as good as you could be. If Accutane doesn't work, you need to try to convince yourself that you are still awesome, acne or not. You deserve to have a great high school experience-- and only you can make that happen. I know your acne hurts, but people just see what's on your face, they can't feel it. It's much more severe in your head than what they can perceive. Good luck! 
Hey, after you replied to mine i was looking through yours and found this, this is exactly how i have been feeling, are you on the regimen? I think for me it is helping a bit so im going to keep going on it aswell as the accutane, hopefully within a couple of months we will both have our normal lives back, if you need to talk about it at all message me, I think your in america? Im in australia, but i will reply to messages asap as the internert is my new life seeming i dont want to leave the house haha anyway hope this helped cya
Thanks for reaching out man, and I've been finding myself more and more on this forum rather than outside the house as well. Our journey's are slightly similar but hopefully we both reach our goals of living a normal life. I'll def. message you if anything is up man, you can also hmu.
Hey, just wanted to give a girls point of view on this....
When I was 15 I hated how much acne ruined my life and it pretty much did, I rarely went out, I didn't like meeting new people it was just horrible and dull. I went to an all girls school so I can't imagine what it's like but let me tell you that whilst you're worrying about your skin, the girl you like is 100% worrying about her insecurities. Trust me, whenever I used to be around someone I liked it was like all I could think was acne, acne, acne! But guess what - she isn't thinking about that she is probably wondering why you won't look her in the eyes and would you like her more if she was skinnier/ prettier/ blond etc.
So you've just got to breathe, and venting is good too - get it off your chest but try and do something about it. You'll never get back the years you lose to acne so you may as well enjoy your life and quite frankly if your friends or crush can't see past spots then they aren't worth having in your life.
Ok pep talk done... hope that accutane works for you like it has for so many others
I would also like to give a girl's point of view on this.
At your age, everyone expects everyone else to have at least some acne. And because of this, we usually look past it. People will not define you by your acne, I promise. If girls are calling you cute..then you are, even with acne! Trust me, it takes a lot for girls to compliment a guy, so if your crush called you cute, she still thinks it. Acne does not change the fact that you are a good looking person. I wish someone had told me that in high school at your age (I'm 22 now). People can still see your face through your acne. They still see your facial features, your smile, your eyes. They can still enjoy your personality and your laugh.
I wish you the best on Accutane. I've never been on it, but I really hope it works for you. It's no fun to go through high school believing that you're not as good as you could be. If Accutane doesn't work, you need to try to convince yourself that you are still awesome, acne or not. You deserve to have a great high school experience-- and only you can make that happen. I know your acne hurts, but people just see what's on your face, they can't feel it. It's much more severe in your head than what they can perceive. Good luck!
Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the feedback that you guys (Girls rather) have given me. It really does help and their is only 19 more days left of school so maybe next year I have a chance to get my crush back? If she gets someone else by than, then it's just my lose but I won't lose hope I'll try to take small steps to gaining the confidence I once had back. Thanks alot, it means ALOT to me. This is the only place I've opened up and received help.
That's ok, we totally understand what you're going through. If your crush has already showed an interest then she probably won't move on that quickly but don't make it such a big deal if she does - you getting your confidence back will just show her what she's missing! Do a blog/ thread for your accutane progress, will be so good to hear if you do clear up and if it doesn't work so well then we will be here to read any rants and help you through it. Also a lot of people on here have been on accutane so I'm sure they will be able to give some advice too