Ever since I was born, my life has been nothing but bad luck. My self esteem has been constantly barraged with never ending challenges and attacks that drove me nearly insane and suicidal. All my "friends" that I used to have in the end of graduation would call me up and say "you're ugly/fat/worthless" and since there were 200 students, almost 100 voicemails of terrible messages would fill up my voicemail. As a "nice guy" who was a bit overweight and refused to be part of a ghetto like community, I found myself to be at the center of the bullied circle. People would ask me throughout my middle school years why I walked like a fucking cripple and why I had so much dandruff constantly. I had no idea why since I showered regularly and my parents told me to get over my walking disorder because "I was looking for attention". It would be at high school that I decided to visit many doctors and was diagnosed with epilepsy and psoriasis on my scalp. I felt terrible, suicidial nearly every day, shed oceans of tears every day, starting cutting myself and eating to compensate for my depression. It was at the beginning of high school that I found myself 100 pounds over weight, with no friends, a cripple with a bloody scalp. I felt many times that I wanted to end it all but I knew I was stronger than what I presented myself as, so

I decided to make a change. I managed to lose 100 pounds, researching how I cure my scalp, began to undergo therapy for epileptic attacks while making new friends (even got a girlfriend) . I have no idea how I managed to overcome these things, but I learned that being patient was a key virtue to success. But now just as I thought my trials and tribulations were over, I began to develop severe acne.

This is the state I am in right now. Acne is beginning to bring up the suicidal thoughts and depression that I thought I had overcome. The tears are coming back stronger because any touch to my face will result in breakout. Although I have friends, I don't want to lose them because I had worked too fucking hard to lose such blessings over trivial matters. And yet here I am, a man brought to his knees over such a "trivial matter". I should be better, stronger than this but the feelings that I thought I had locked in a box tightly are starting to come back stronger than ever. I feel like crying every time I walk out in public because of these ridiculous blotches on my skin and avoid mirrors like the plague. It got to the point where one person asked what was wrong with my face as I was working out. My self esteem may exist (slightly) but itis so low right now and I need help. I have tried all the home remedies, this this my second treatment of accutane so 2 6 month course treatments, used all the mainstream products, got laser treatment, peeling, EVERYTHING. I'm still fighting but I'm in a losing battle.. Every day I feel my self esteem lowering and my smile disappearing. Im tired of these false promises that acne doctors give when they only worsen my skin. I don't want to return to a life of dejection and sadness but i know at this rate that i will start to become suicidal again. I am stronger than this but my strength definitely has limits. Somebody please provide a remedy, I beg you to help.