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I havent really talked about my emotional journey with acne here. All my topics are mostly about my current skin and treatments etc. so I just want to post about my experiences as a sort of 'purge'.. therapeutic, you could say. I was just thinking about all the painful memories I've had with my skin, it might be that I'm extra emotional today but I haven't really talked to anyone about this, I've just always kind of kept it to myself. I've skipped so many classes and been in so much trouble all because of the immense distress my skin has caused me. I know we have control over our actions, it's not to say that I haven't tried to make my situation better or be more optimistic but a lot of the time, it's hard. I missed a lot of school and when I was asked for the reason behind that, I never told the truth. It was embarrassing. it sounds ridiculous to say, "I skipped classes because I was too depressed about my skin."
Once, in high school.. when my skin was pretty bad, (not a lot of acne but PLENTY of marks) some guy in class who sometimes would make fun of me said to this girl that she looked like me (I think he was being sarcastic/mean though), and she said, "Ewww no! That's an insult." The class laughed. I felt like crying, but I didnt show it. It happened about 2 years ago but it's still fresh in my memory. I kind of hate that girl now and she recently tried to add me on facebook, it's petty but I didnt really want to accept her request lol. I dont think she remembers what she said anyway, but the memory still hurts.
When I was 15/16, walking home from school, this lady stopped me in my tracks and started telling me about a product I could use on my face. It wasn't like I wasn't already trying a million products, lol. Anyway, obviously I went home very miserable. I mean, to have a COMPLETE stranger take a minute of their time to tell you that... that's just terrible. It made me feel like I was afflicted with a severe, shocking, unusual condition or something. But my skin at the time was pretty bad. I really haven't had A TON of problems with acne itself, but my skin scars/pigments very easily and I always have some sort of blemish on my skin. At the time, my skin was full of hyperpigmentation and flaky/inflamed areas..parents have spent quite a bit on skin treatments for me. I feel so guilty..
Last year, in college, my skin was still pretty bad. I was walking to the bathroom and I was telling my friend (out loud because she was quite a few feet away from me), "I'm gonna go the bathroom." The bathroom was right next to a flight of stairs, and one guy was going up those stairs and he looked at me and said, "And wash your face!" Not too sure if it was my imagination, but I'm pretty sure that was what I heard. I felt so terrible, ugh...
So many bad memories concerning my skin. All the nights/days I spent crying, going to malls and hiding in public bathrooms instead of going to school because my skin was so shitty.. and the residue my battle with my skin has left behind is I'm now constantly obsessed with lighting. I refuse to take public transport if I know the lighting is going to make my skin look like a pile of shit. I don't look at myself in mirrors with fluorescent lighting, especially directly above my face. I have a very, very hard time looking at my face in the mirrors of public bathrooms if I'm not at least like... 6 feet away or something. Any nearer, it gets painful. I'm sorry if this post is like... me basically pouring out my whole life story lol. I don't know, I've just been bottling it up for so long... 
I just needed to tell someone and figured this would be the best place to 
Thank you if you read all of it.
I'm so sorry darling ( I know those memories hurt and a lot of us are in the same boat as you so we know exactley how you feel. Anyone who has said Ew to you or any remarks, really shouldn't. Who are they to say something?? I'm sure they're not perfect, actually I know they're not perfect. I rather have acne than an ugly heart. You are beautiful, regardless of acne or not. And we're all here to listen to you because many of us empathize with your horrible experiances. Eventually the emotional scars will heal, I am in the same boat as you. In trying to forgive all the people who have called me ugly but it's hard ( just know that it will make you a stronger person down the line, even if you feel weak at the moment <3
Wow that is absolutely terrible I too had someone make a joke about my skin once. I had a pretty bad breakout last year and although I was skilled at hiding it with makeup, I'd often stay up all night with my friends and the makeup would start to smudge off and my red marks would show through. I got so depressed over my skin that I considered withdrawing from school. I would often skip classes, too. I know EXACTLY how you feel...I don't have as big a problem with pimples, but the hyperpigmentation they leave behind.
But to keep on keeping on is your best option at this point. Even if my grades did suffer in some of my classes, I felt proud that I didn't withdraw from school and continued my education. By the time I finished that semester, I was so glad I hadn't dropped out. I would've really regretted it. Acne/hyperpigmentation are temporarily problems. Yes you might always get pimples once in a while but as long as you get your skin under control and keep it there it will never be nothing that's not manageable. Even though that one joke at my skin made my self esteem plummet, I realized these kind of people are just looking for ANYTHING to make fun of about another person. Whether it's that person's nose, teeth, skin, weight, whatever. And those kind of people aren't worth your sadness. For every asshole-ish person that makes a comment like that to you, there's probably 5 other people who will love you no matter what your skin looks like. Always remember that.
It's really hard I know. But I'm sure that one day, your acne will calm down, the hyperpigmentation will fade, and it'll all just be a memory. Just have faith that it can only go up from here.
thanks for the replies, you guys are the best and i just spent a few hours of today frustratedly examining my skin in the mirror... i actually slapped my face because i was so frustrated. all these scars and marks. it's been almost 2 years. they have faded significantly but my skin stills looks blotchy and 'dirty'... i cried for a little while. i think i look really, really ugly
Pour your heart out dude, this is what this place is for and its better gettin it out of ur head and in black and white for u and for others to comment and let you know we all feel it. I hate hearing stories like this because I dont thnk people realise how badly it affects us do people think we actually want this on our face?! I so want to do something and take folks pain away cause its emotionally scarring.
It can make u feel depressed even suicidal and you spend so long wishing you had someone else face. Then you go through phases were it doesnt bother you as much but somone drawing attention to it must kill its when your in a convo with somone and they are blatently staring at your breakout it cuts like a knife. At the end of the day you have to TRY and deal with and try and live your life and not care so much about what others think or itll tear you apart. You have to find build your confidence up ad realise acne is what you have its not who you are
i just feel exhausted with it all and so sad at the same time. We all cry about it no shame at all girl or boy.
Also do not let doctors fob you off if your treatment aint doing it go back and be blunt and demand further treatment. Do not suffer xx
arghhhhh!!!!!!! my skin looks so blotchy, the marks are not going away. they arent very dark but are in patches on my face and it looks so dirty and mottled and uneven. i fucking hate this. i've been spending the whole day looking into the mirror and putting a shit ton of lightening products on it and exfoliating. fortunately i havent irritated my skin from all that but i'm not so sure if the marks will go away... it seems to be dermal and i'm hella depressed. scars dont look to bad in some lighting, but when light is falling directly on either one of my cheeks.... IT'S DISASTER CITY. my skin texture is RUINED. the scars themselves arent deep but i have multiple small/medium ones on a certain area on each cheek, they are close together/dense so they make my skin look really old with an orange peel texture... i just want to cut my face off holy shit