i had similar issues. As cliche as this may sound, i literally just "man up" and do it. I fake it. I act confident, even though i am not. I act like i have clear skin even though i do not.

Basically, i live a lie when in social groups.

Same! I'm a lonely guy. I don't have any close friends. I literally have 0 friends in life. I do have a lot on the internet. At least I am in college and will keep going.

I would have been a different person if I had friends in person. Acne never stopped me from going to school. I'm never absent. I go everyday to class and on time. I'm a senior in college and I never made any friends.. =\

As a guy who hangs around 10-20 or so people in one big group, I've been in your position before. Despite being the only one in that group with visible acne, I still feel a bit timid at times, even though I act like I have a clear face all the time. Only thing I get annoyed with is whenever we're just having fun, I hear the clicking sound of my friend's camera, and before I know it, I'm tagged in a photo on Facebook. Pretty much makes me feel pretty insecure, but other than that, all you can really do is basically be yourself and try not to let your skin get to you whenever you're in social situations. I mean, in my past experiences, most people didn't comment on my skin, but I don't know if I was lucky or not. At times, I just want to be alone and write, which causes a few people from my group to comfort me because they know something's up, which is really thoughtful, but a day doesn't go by without thinking that they're talking about my skin behind my back. Believe me, I've noticed a few hints here and there, I just go out and do what I have to do. Try your best to not let those sort of things get to you, because you'll feel better if anything comment related is just brushed aside. Good luck my friend.

i feel you man, honestly probably more than anyone in this thread. They don't understand and say you can just gain confidence and "man up" when in reality our self-esteem is so low and has suffered for so long that it doesn't take a goddamn positive thought to fix in a day (even a month. or year). No, this shit has been with me for the past 5-10 years and nobody anything says or suggests can undo it. That is the harsh reality of it.

I'm not sure about you, but I think my worst gift is being able to see myself objectively...like through the world of someone else. I KNOW I look a lot worse than the people I am with, and I KNOW that I won't ever be able to participate in the shallow and guilty pleasures of hooking up with hot girls like girls do with good looking guys just because I have acne and cysts all over my face.

No matter what anyone else says, it is only the acne. It is not psychological because I remember like last summer when my face was clear for a week I did everything and felt so alive and happy. I didn't wake up and feel empty and depressed like I do now every day. I was so stoked I could actually do what most people my age do like go to the mall at least, or go out in the daytime. i actually even hit up a club but that was ruined because i still had acne scarring and girls obviously didnt give me a second look.

Now I have lost most if not all my friends because its simply NOT FUN being around people anymore. I just stand there nervous as hell, and I feel really uncomfortable and want to go home. Every time a person looks at me I follow their eyesight and see if he/she ever looks at my acne. This is multiplied 10x when I am around girls, which is why I have not spoken to a girl in 3 years. I thought about it and I prefer being lonely for now rather than going out with a face like this, and getting that uncomfortable feeling that everyone can sense. And there is ALWAYS the possibility that somebody will mention it, or make fun of me, and I don't think I could take it anymore if that ever happened.

I realized my only option is to chill with people that now what I am going through and how hard it is. Try finding friends with acne, it makes it so much more easier. Then again, there is that subconscious fact that all your friends will have acne and at some point somebody is going to mention it.

Are you an emotional empath by the way? Maybe not fully since I hate people and have developed a coldness so I wouldn't care if some guy had heart attack on the street (this happened, and I just stepped around him lol) but my empathy shows with animals for example, and the ability to feel what people feel. I think this is what makes me uncomfortable and nervous around people. Its like i can sense and feel every word, every look at me, every emotion 100 fold. With acne, it is literally a deadly combination and has destroyed my social life, my family life, and my work life. On the plus side I think this emotional empathy thing is actually pretty legit because I somehow now love my cat more than all of my friends I had combined. The fact that the cat will never look at your acne and they have that pure innocence which is golden.

i feel you man, honestly probably more than anyone in this thread. They don't understand and say you can just gain confidence and "man up" when in reality our self-esteem is so low and has suffered for so long that it doesn't take a

goddamn positive thought to fix in a day (even a

month. or year). No, this shit has been with me

for the past 5-10 years and nobody anything

says or suggests can undo it. That is the harsh

reality of it.

I'm not sure about you, but I think my worst gift is being able to see myself objectively...like through the world of someone else. I KNOW I

look a lot worse than the people I am with, and I

KNOW that I won't ever be able to participate in

the shallow and guilty pleasures of hooking up

with hot girls like girls do with good looking

guys just because I have acne and cysts all

over my face.

No matter what anyone else says, it is only the acne. It is not psychological because I remember like last summer when my face was

clear for a week I did everything and felt so alive

and happy. I didn't wake up and feel empty and

depressed like I do now every day. I was so

stoked I could actually do what most people my

age do like go to the mall at least, or go out in

the daytime. i actually even hit up a club but

that was ruined because i still had acne scarring

and girls obviously didnt give me a second look.

Now I have lost most if not all my friends because its simply NOT FUN being around people anymore. I just stand there nervous as

hell, and I feel really uncomfortable and want to

go home. Every time a person looks at me I

follow their eyesight and see if he/she ever looks

at my acne. This is multiplied 10x when I am

around girls, which is why I have not spoken to

a girl in 3 years. I thought about it and I prefer

being lonely for now rather than going out with a

face like this, and getting that uncomfortable

feeling that everyone can sense. And there is

ALWAYS the possibility that somebody will

mention it, or make fun of me, and I don't think I

could take it anymore if that ever happened.

I realized my only option is to chill with people that now what I am going through and how hard

it is. Try finding friends with acne, it makes it so

much more easier. Then again, there is that

subconscious fact that all your friends will have

acne and at some point somebody is going to

mention it.

Are you an emotional empath by the way? Maybe not fully since I hate people and have

developed a coldness so I wouldn't care if some

guy had heart attack on the street (this

happened, and I just stepped around him lol) but

my empathy shows with animals for example,

and the ability to feel what people feel. I think

this is what makes me uncomfortable and nervous around people. Its like i can sense

and feel every word, every look at me, every

emotion 100 fold. With acne, it is literally a

deadly combination and has destroyed my social

life, my family life, and my work life. On the plus

side I think this emotional empathy thing is

actually pretty legit because I somehow now love

my cat more than all of my friends I had

combined. The fact that the cat will never look at

your acne and they have that pure innocence

which is golden.

 

Damn I just read an article on emotional empath and it really explains alot and yea I am definently one. I constantly get bombarded with people's problems because I actually used to listen and now pretend to care but i used to actually care about people, like u said I also have this built up hate toward people and I've grown cold over the years. I feel drained after being around alot of people and its kind of like they suck the energy out if me. I know how other people are feeling just by their presence around me shit people used to always tell me that I could read their minds. I guess always living in my head has enhanced my abilty to perceive feelings and emotions from people around me.

But still I really have a hard time giving a fuck about people and the everyday smalltalk bullshit feels like someone is sticking a needle through my head. I wish I could be stupid and careless like the people around me but I seem to overthink shit and analyze everything to the extreme.

I guess just because we don't fit in doesn't mean the rest of the herd of sheep is better than us, I say fuck um and let them get slaughtered.

Yeahh we see past the sheep instantly lol.

Its kind of a curse though I swear I feel cursed sometimes. I feel like I'm trapped in my mind, and will never get out.

Lately it's come to the point where I am completely immune to small talk or tv or media, and become confused when people go through the process of bullshit talking while I'm standing there trying to figure out where life came from or what happens when you die.

I can't do anything like go to clubs or buy new clothes anymore because I feel like it's fake and there HAS to be a bigger purpose to our existence.

So instead of following the herd, I began to think a lot. I began to question the history lessons from school and the presence of a guy in the clouds.

Turns out that the universe is technically infinite for us (THERE IS NO ENDING EVER). Turns out that there were advanced civilizations before the Greeks - sumerians, babylonians, and mayans. Turns out that there is a possibility we are all just one global consciousness, or there are 12 dimensions (string theory, currently the model for theory of everything) and we are all just vibrations in separate levels of consciousness like the music notes from a guitar.

This isn't really grandiose thinking, as everything is logical, factual, and backed by reason. I keep thinking people like you and me have a bigger purpose in this life. If not, not everything is bad news.

Did you know that when your body dies, your brain is still alive for 10 minutes. Since time is subjective in this state, and 5 minutes can feel like 2 days when you are dreaming, you could theoretically relive a life within that timeframe. So don't really worry if this life doesn't work out.

Peace.

I know this sounds weird but trust me, enjoy the time while your a loner. I know from experience that having a girlfriend and friends will get annoying. I work very hard during the week and coming home after the work day didn't give me any rest. People (friends) expect things from you like coming to their home, eating at their home, sporting with them and even going out with them. All of this probably sounds great to 'loners' (I actually hate this word), but it drove me to madness. I wanted to relax, having time for myself and wanted to do anything anytime when I want to. Now I am a loner (I did this on purpose) and I love it. After the work day I go to my empty home, make something to eat and settle in the sofa while browsing on my tablet or watching TV. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. I love being a loner (but I hate my acne).

I know how you guys feel damn its like we all have the same life, at least we all know we're not alone. I had so many plans for high school and college and most of them now are gone, I still have hope though but yeah the hard part is figuring out how to get back into a social life after acne is gone, its like everyone else is developing socially and we're all held back kinda, once we get rid of our acne we need to get a jump start back on it lol.

i had similar issues. As cliche as this may sound, i literally just "man up" and do it. I fake it. I act confident, even though i am not. I act like i have clear skin even though i do not.

Basically, i live a lie when in social groups.

 

I'm the same man. I wake up everyday, go to school and put on a show for everyone to behold. They don't know the real me, hell maybe I don't know him any more either, but hopefully one day i can walk into school feeling confident and smile because i want to, not because it's the right thing to do.

you sound like me. I missed out on the time in your teen years when you really learn to be social and outgoing, so i never made tons of friends, and now since i missed that time i dont know how to be open and make friends..so i basically have none lol.

what has helped me is work. I work at a clothing store and also another store and basically you gotta fake it till you make it.

since i have to pretend to be really outgoing and social at work, it has helped me learn to do it in a real way when i want to...if that makes sense.although i am still more comfortable not talking to anyone lol

If people can't accept you because you have acne then screw them. You'll find better people in your life eventually. I know it's hard to believe, but you need to hold on to some kind of hope. Acne sucks. The word acne is disgusting. When I hear anyone talking about acne or pimples or skin, my heart drops. It may be hard being alone, but it's also nice sometimes. You don't have to worry about someone staring at your skin & you don't have to feel insecure or nervous as much as when you're around people. I would focus on you, I would focus on what brings you joy and with time you may attract people who will genuinely like you and not give a shit about your acne. This life isn't meant to be perfect, but it's not meant to make us suffer either, as hard as it is to believe. It is really nice having a pet with you, they make you happy Learn an instrument, read a novel, watch films. You shouldn't have to waste your efforts on being self concious around unworthy people. If you really want to fit in with those kinds of people, you should reconsider who you want to truly be friends with. It's hard being a loner (I really detest that word as well), and we somewhat do it to ourselves, but this thing called time is what will unravel itself & present us with better things.

I wouldn't say it's made me a loner exactly, it's just made me not care to be around other people. I used to be really depressed and anxious, but I just stopped caring and shut down completely in regards to other people. I don't even get nervous around other people anymore or have problems interacting with them, I just don't derive any enjoyment from it anymore. I tried to kid myself long enough, but I've realized that appearance does matter even to close friends and family and I have plenty of scars that are never going away. One thing though, even though I couldn't care less about people I still love animals; I think a dog or cat is the closest there is to truly unconditional love.

I completely understand dude. Last year was probably the worst my acne has been. I probably only hung out with my friends like 10 times the entire 2012 year. I missed out on so much stuff but I was too insecure to face my friends let alone the public. Now I healed my skin to almost clear, and healthy skin but I kinda still feel that insecurity cause I had acne for so long that it emotionally scarred me. Now I'm going to be 21 next month and I want to start going out cause I'm confident more than ever but since I didn't try to hangout with my friends last year, they no longer keep in contact with me. I don't want to go out alone lol