My sanity. Lol. Really.
Suffering awful with BDD. I havent left my house in over 2 years. Not even brave enough to step out in the garden. Which has lost me the majority of my friends - except one. I had to quit my job. Ive lost my enthusiam to do anything now.
A massive middle finger to bad skin.
I suffer from Bdd too laceydecay !! I was diagnosed last year , had cbt therapy but it didn't seem to make a difference , I suffer from it because of my skin not any other part of my body , is it the same for you ?
- Confidence - it was already low before, acne made it even worse,
- Self esteem - again, it was low before but acne worsened it
- Not having much worry or care about my appearance - I honestly didn't care how I looked nor did I have any issues with myself over my appearance but when the acne turned cystic it changed me, my appearance is a never ending obsession and its ALWAYS on my mind in some form. I don't like the way I look 99% of the time and mirrors really do make my heart sink sometimes when I look in them
- Any chance of a relationship/dating - especially dating, it seems so alien to me that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to do it... probably not the case (I hope) but it feels that way a lot of the time
...pretty depressing 
I think it helps to type it out like this though, it feels therapeutic.
Reading through this thread made me think about how strong you people are, obviously I wish none of us had problems from acne but it feels good to know that you guys are going through what I am going through and that I am not alone in this because seeing someone with bad acne is so rare for me that I feel completely adrift and like an outsider...
delusion 
yes, acne can suuuuuck..... BUT, it's made me see past the delusion that most of the media and society are drowning in...... our physical appearances!!!!
so.... yeah. i don't wear that veil of delusion anymore and i try to see myself and others for who we are inside and not what we look like.
My sanity. Lol. Really.
Suffering awful with BDD. I havent left my house in over 2 years. Not even brave enough to step out in the garden. Which has lost me the majority of my friends - except one. I had to quit my job. Ive lost my enthusiam to do anything now.
A massive middle finger to bad skin.
I suffer from Bdd too laceydecay !! I was diagnosed last year , had cbt therapy but it didn't seem to make a difference , I suffer from it because of my skin not any other part of my body , is it the same for you ?
Hi Billz Yes Im the same as you. My BDD is purely based on my skin. I think ive suffered with it for many years but its gradually got worse with time. I used to spend hours staring at my skin in the mirror when I was around 10-11. Picking at it. Covering any tiny blemish with make up. Trying to bleach any redness away by applying household bleach to my face !! (pure madness). And now after years of being stupid and screwing round with my skin, treating it badly, it looks so bad now. Its gone from a few odd pimples to severe self inflicted eczema over my cheeks :'(
Things have got so bad that I was sent to a mental hospital by my Dr due to a suicide attempt.
I really hope that youre coping ok as possible with it and that you find a treatment that works for you. You can always message if you want a chat x
Thank you to everyone who has replied to my post, the message I wanted to get across is the impact acne has had on our lives and what we have lost because of it, so hopefully if someone feels like an outcast because of the way it ruind your life they can read this post and know that your not alone there's a great number of people that lives have been affected by acne so carry on listing what acne has taken away from you and lets get every member to share their experience 
if it even helps one member feel a little bit better by reading this and knowing there not crazy by what they have had to give up or lost I'll be a happy guy thanks.
its time we guys stop being sad n enjoy.. we live but once n yes acne has taken away our spirit bt not hope.. n its dfinately not gna take sports away from me!
-My Social Life
- My Happiness
- My job
- My Boyfriend
- My confidence
- My Sleep
Acne is ruining my life, it's making me go insane and I'm suffering from Insomnia due to my skin issue .
Everyday is like living hell for me . My day goes extremely slow and All I do is pray for it to be over Soon .
Ps. I suffer from BDD as well :/
delusion
yes, acne can suuuuuck..... BUT, it's made me see past the delusion that most of the media and society are drowning in...... our physical appearances!!!!
so.... yeah. i don't wear that veil of delusion anymore and i try to see myself and others for who we are inside and not what we look like.
Agreed. I don't judge people on their appearances anymore because I know what it feels like.
It's taken away:
1) My Looks...If you saw me before acne you would not believe it was the same person.
2) Confidence
3) Self esteem
4) Any interest towards me from guys
5) My sleep, sometimes...whether it be from the pain of the cysts in the early days of acne or the worrying about my skin now
6) Pride in my appearance...I used to love playing around with makeup and dolling up but now I can't wear any - that might not be such a bad thing really though, I now see I perhaps wore more than i needed and now my skin can breathe at last! But even when my hair, nails and clothes are looking good I feel my face lets the rest down big time. I look like someone who can't be bothered but nothing is further from the truth.
My life isn't affected by acne too much, but it still is to a large extent.
It took my confidence, self-asteem, motivation, and drive. Everytime I talk to someone, everytime I go out in public, everytime I go to class, everytime someone is at my door, everytime I look in the mirror, I feel completely worthless, disgusting, ugly, etc.
But the thing is, it's on and off. Somedays I feel like this, some days I don't. It's beginning to become daily, though. It's pretty pathetic when you think about it because I'm in the Army, in which you have to have complete confidence and motivation to survive.
I dunno, but I know one thing is for sure: I went from judging people to accepting everyone. Maybe acne was my punishment for being so judgmental, and if so; it's working.
-part of my faith
-the confidence that I had built
-friends
-my looks ( not trying to sound conceited but I was finally accepting comments people said)
-my social life
-hope
-me(I think this sums it up because even if I am EVER 100% clear, I will NEVER be the same person who I was)
but even though this nasty acne took many many things which I just said the ones on top of my head, it has given me some positive things, kind of made me stronger in ways.
Acne temporarily slowed down my journey of living,learning and loving life, but I don't think even in the worst years it took away the core essence of who I am. In a certain sense, I am grateful to have gone through the very traumatic years of having a debilitating skin disorder; I have been able to re-evaluate my values and have tried to become a more compassionate and more affectionate person to my family and friends. Having begun to accept that both pleasure and pain are transient, I feel I'm beginning to develop a certain mental strength that may not have emerged without my years of having acne, and for that I'm thankful.
Having a low day today just thinking about what nodulocystic scarring acne and two rounds of accutane (currently on round two) has taken from me:
-self confidence
-looks
-my upbeat fun loving talkitive personality, now I hide my face and never try to bring attention to myself
-time, money
-athletic ability (I used to be a semi-professional dancer with gymnastics training...my first round of accutane gave me such bad joint pain I missed out on 6+months of training making me fall behind my own goals...and now my second round of accutane has made me so fatigued and my acne is much worse...that it bleeds when i do heavy exercise....so I quit it all together and only do exercises at home now...This is the most distressing and heart breaking things i have ever had to do because only when I danced/did gymnastics did I ever really feel alive and myself..and it truly was one my my biggest passions in life .now it seems impossible to pursue ...at least for a long while, and after a long while I won't be of a good age anymore TO dance semi professionally).
-My comfort in public (now I have high anxiety in large crowds, I am from NYC and it troubles me so much that I get so anxious whenever I have to take public transportation in big groups with people always staring at you)
-Hope (Pretty much feel hopeless that I will be destined to continue to use accutane on and off for the best years of my life and this disturbs me. My father had severe acne which he said started at age 22 (I am currently aged 22 and only started getting nodulcystic acne 10~months ago...genetics doesn't fail) and which didnt start becoming mild until 25 and stop until 30. Now he has some shallow rolling scars all over his cheek and I seem to be going down the same path no matter what I do)
-Casual friends (I used to talk to everyone and made friends with everyone..had so many aquiantences to go out clubbing in the city or bar hoping or doing a bunch of things....Now, I no longer go out and since have dropped many friends beside my closest ones)
-Control of my life (Pretty much feel like I no longer have control, don't really look forward to anything anymore in the forseeable future...I only hope in 5years after accutane and hopefully after conquering acne and my scars that I will be happy again and could rebuild the pieces in my life and start anew)
The only thing I really feel like I have left really is my career. I am trying my hardest to not give up on myself for my other passion beside dance which is medicine. Currently in medical school and I have contemplated taking a year off to finish accutane and deal with scars so I can be more comfortable dealing with my own patients but truly...F it, if patients are going to judge me for having bad acne I wouldn't want them as patients and, damn, I won't let acne take this last thing away from me, I worked too damn hard during my entire educational career for this.
SIGH, it felt pretty therapuetic typing the above out at least. Glad to see there are others out there...I rarely see any on a daily basis either.
Wow, I never really thought about what it's taken from me.
-Confidence is shattered
-Can't start a conversation with a girl, used to be flirty and fun to talk to
-Missing social events
-Always hide my face while in class, just once i want to sit normally and not worry about my skin
- As stated by another user, I am always angry. When i wake up I know I'm going to look terrible another day, and I just get mad at everybody mostly because of their clear skin
-Wrestling, because after every practice my face just got worse and worse. I'm not going back this season out of fear my face will get worse than it already is
God damn I just want clear skin. I'll give up my muscles, gaming pc, xbox, friends, and just about anything but my family and dog, and I'll just start a new life.
Wow, I never really thought about what it's taken from me.
-Confidence is shattered
-Can't start a conversation with a girl, used to be flirty and fun to talk to
-Missing social events
-Always hide my face while in class, just once i want to sit normally and not worry about my skin
- As stated by another user, I am always angry. When i wake up I know I'm going to look terrible another day, and I just get mad at everybody mostly because of their clear skin
-Wrestling, because after every practice my face just got worse and worse. I'm not going back this season out of fear my face will get worse than it already is
God damn I just want clear skin. I'll give up my muscles, gaming pc, xbox, friends, and just about anything but my family and dog, and I'll just start a new life.
Wrestling, gaming....God I would give up a liver, a kidney, sense of taste, smell...anything short of losing a limb or a vital organ....I would rather wake up with food poisening every morning if I could have beautiful clear skin like the rest of the population
Wow, I never really thought about what it's taken from me.
-Confidence is shattered
-Can't start a conversation with a girl, used to be flirty and fun to talk to
-Missing social events
-Always hide my face while in class, just once i want to sit normally and not worry about my skin
- As stated by another user, I am always angry. When i wake up I know I'm going to look terrible another day, and I just get mad at everybody mostly because of their clear skin
-Wrestling, because after every practice my face just got worse and worse. I'm not going back this season out of fear my face will get worse than it already is
God damn I just want clear skin. I'll give up my muscles, gaming pc, xbox, friends, and just about anything but my family and dog, and I'll just start a new life.
Wrestling, gaming....God I would give up a liver, a kidney, sense of taste, smell...anything short of losing a limb or a vital organ....I would rather wake up with food poisening every morning if I could have beautiful clear skin like the rest of the population
I would give up a limb for perfect skin. Absolutely. I would give my right arm, right leg, whatever it took, to have clear perfect NORMAL skin. No question. I would work as a fucking janitor or garbage man or whatever the worst job in the world is to have clear skin again.
It definitely took away my confidence and I would always shy away from anything involving any form of leadership...etc I realised after a while though that we are our own worst critics and that people don't pay as much attention to our skin as we do. Coming from someone who had severe cystic acne, sure it was difficult to stand up tall and not hide but I started taking little steps every day to be more confident and be myself. I've come to realise that I'm actually quite chatty and like having a good laugh with friends which I'd been hiding behing a thick shell. Don't let acne rule your life. I know it's easier said than done, it certainly was daunting for me too to break out of the cycle but it is worth it.
