I think it's a stupid idea. I just think that people need to toughen and smarten up and perhaps in some cases grow up. If you like someone, just go to them. Acne or no acne. Scars or no scars.This dating site idea just comes down to people fearing being rejected by people who don't have the type of imperfections that they have so they go "Well I'll just not look at anyone who has perfect skin then. I'm not interested in anyone with perfect skin anymore and I'm going to make things easy for myself and go for someone with the same imperfections. Because hey, I do need to have some kind of love life?! ". It just seems to me that a site like that attracts people who in the end want a "relationship" for the sake of one rather than people who fall in love with a person.
There's probably someone out there with flawless skin who, if you were to meet them, will fall in love with you regardless of your physical flaws. And you guys would be making it impossible to meet that person by excluding everyone who has flawless skin? Think about it man.
Plus what do you care about someone who rejects you because of acne? Again, think about it man. What kind of person would that be? What does that say about someone? It's just a case of good riddance.
Just go out there, be yourself and the good people will still want to be with you regardless of your flaws. Vain, mean, selfish folk will reject you but why would you care?
And no I'm not a "troll". I am not ill-intentioned so there's no need to get offended. This is just my opinion. And last I checked people have a right to voice their opinion. You think I'd take the time to write a post like this just to irritate people? Think about it man. So let's not get defensive or anything. In a mature conversation people should be allowed to speak their minds. And I feel I have done so in a respectful manner.
Have to agree.
Yes it's a direct post but it's good advice.
Acne sufferers come to this site for support. That is practical. I have been here since 2002 and i have made some great friends here but never dated any of them.
The biggest reason for this is that it would just have been a destructive relationship due to the inherent issues of the psychological issues brought on by acne.
Being an emotional dumping ground for each other is a one way ticket to splitting up, losing a friendship and possibly resenting each other.
It's one thing going to a website to share a common hobby or problem. It's a whole different ball game trying to get a date through the same psychological problem that has or is plaguing us all.
That's like saying. Me and you both like to self harm. Let's shack it up together because we both have the same debilitating mental condition, therefore we must be right for each other.
Sorry but NO! Fix yourself before taking on someone else.
I stayed single for 3 years for a very good reason. I wasn't ready to be with anyone because i had issues relating to self confidence due to acne. I had to correct that before getting with anyone.
I now have a great girlfriend. She don't care about my acne, and she has never had acne in her life. She likes me because i have that confidence in myself, i don't drag her down when i have bad day. She is there for me but she allows me to fix my own problems. I don't use her as an emotional dumping ground. We enjoy the same hobbies and have the same sense of humor. More importantly we were both in a good place in our lives. Once we had that stability we got together.
Dating tend to lead to relationships. A relationship is meant to make you happier than you already are however you already have to be happy being single. A relationship shouldn't an emotional dumping ground, it should enhance your life, you should enhance the life of the person you are dating. At no point should anyone dominate their partners or use them as emotional dumping grounds.
I have seen this happen too many times. Two people get together through a shared illness. Ok nothing wrong with that. The problem comes from when these people have not dealt with their issues. They then depend on each other to make the world right. It won't work.
It would serve no purpose.
If anyone already lack confidence then how can they go on a date? Regardless of the other person having acne or not.
Acne it not the problem. It is the mental effects it has.
There should be a website on to deal with the mental effects of acne. That would serve a lot of people around here.
Fact is, you have to deal with the acne before going forward. If people don't love themselves and how can anyone else love them?
All the dating would do is to allow people to vent all of their issues onto another person. The acne sufferer will then depend on that person to make it all better for them. Sorry but life doesn't work that way.
Make yourself feel better, accept that acne is apart of you. If you can do that it will set you free and the world will open to you.
I may sound harsh but im speaking from experience. I have acne since i was 12. I am now 28. I control my acne but still get bad days. I no longer allow it to bother me. I control it, it does not control me.
I agree with what you've said here but I think some of the points you've made are also why the idea of an acne related dating site appeals to some people.
Because of the mental effects acne has and the confidence issues it can create, if people were to have such a site available, they would perhaps feel more confident dating / interacting with people who've had the same experiences.
So in that sense, of possibly allowing someone to feel more comfortable / confident, it would 'serve a purpose.'
I especially agree with this point you made -- "If people don't love themselves and how can anyone else love them?"
I'm not sold on the idea of a acne dating site, i don't think it's really needed, but I do get why some would want one.
A valid point.
However. Does these mean acne sufferers can only show self confidence with other acne sufferers? That limits our social interactions quite severely
I'll give you an example.
My passion is sport science and nutrition. I have friend who is obese and one who is bulimic. I have been helping both of them with their life style, nutrition and workouts. I could have easily stepped and offered my he;p. However this wouldn't have worked. They had to want to get better and change their life style. They had to ask me for help. Only then did i take them on because i knew they would be determined to do it .
Both has confidence issues with their respective conditions. One was addicted too food so much he was obese the other had such a bad relationship with food she would go as far as to starve herself.
The fact is both of them wanted to get better. They wanted help. I told them they will have to think in different ways and be open to new ways of doing things. To ignore the stuff the see in the media.
As a result my friend is now longer obese and his doing well in his training and my bulimic friend is on her way to having a better relationship with food.
This is the same for acne sufferers. We are conditioned from birth by the media and society they we have to be perfect. We all must have perfect skin and a six pack or have zero percent body fat. Real people don't look like that. They are all air brushed and made to look great. Well i got myself a brand new LED T.V last month. Let me tell you that the cast of friends are not as good looking as they are made out to be. Their imperfections show up well on an HD screen lol.
Acne sufferers have to learn to accept that they have a genetic condition. They can only treat it. it is apart of their DNA. The battle has to be fought psychologically as well as physically. I told my friends their battle has to also be waged in their head because just losing an 100lbs won't cure all their issues. I taught them how to eat and guided them on resolving their psychological issues. I could only show them the door, they had to walk through it ON THEIR OWN. That is my whole point. We have to help ourselves before we can help others. We have to accept ourselves before accepting another person into our lives.
Acne suffers have to also learn to interact with other non acne sufferers. This will sound harsh, but if will only interact with other acne sufferers, not only are will limiting the amount of people we interact with, we are shutting ourselves off to other ways of thinking, new ideas, different perspectives. The typical acne sufferer perspective is "The world doesn't understand, the whole world is against me" Yeah i used to be this way as well.
...That is my whole point. We have to help ourselves before we can help others. We have to accept ourselves before accepting another person into our lives.
Acne suffers have to also learn to interact with other non acne sufferers. This will sound harsh, but if will only interact with other acne sufferers, not only are will limiting the amount of people we interact with, we are shutting ourselves off to other ways of thinking, new ideas, different perspectives. The typical acne sufferer perspective is "The world doesn't understand, the whole world is against me" Yeah i used to be this way as well.
Great post. I do agree with what you're saying.
We have to accept ourselves as we are, acne and all, and learn to be comfortable and confident as we are also. No one is perfect. Not even the cast of Friends it seems, - a fact known due to the magic of HD TV haha 😛
I also agree you must love yourself completely to allow yourself to be loved by someone else and to have a relationship that will work out. Accept yourself before being ready to accept another into such a close/intimate aspect of your life. And you do have to consciously decide to not let acne impact how you live your life, I think. You can be as confident as you want to be, as social as possible etc if you have the mindset to. Acne can't stop you from doing anything if you don't let it.
What you said about if you were to only interact with others with acne I agree with also. It's probably the main reason I would not join an acne dating site. 'The real world' is much more interesting. And in my experience, there are A LOT of people who don't care about whether you have acne or not. Often I think it's your own view of yourself or what you think people are thinking about you/your skin, that impacts how you interact with others.
...That is my whole point. We have to help ourselves before we can help others. We have to accept ourselves before accepting another person into our lives.
Acne suffers have to also learn to interact with other non acne sufferers. This will sound harsh, but if will only interact with other acne sufferers, not only are will limiting the amount of people we interact with, we are shutting ourselves off to other ways of thinking, new ideas, different perspectives. The typical acne sufferer perspective is "The world doesn't understand, the whole world is against me" Yeah i used to be this way as well.
Great post. I do agree with what you're saying.
We have to accept ourselves as we are, acne and all, and learn to be comfortable and confident as we are also. No one is perfect. Not even the cast of Friends it seems, - a fact known due to the magic of HD TV haha 😛
I also agree you must love yourself completely to allow yourself to be loved by someone else and to have a relationship that will work out. Accept yourself before being ready to accept another into such a close/intimate aspect of your life. And you do have to consciously decide to not let acne impact how you live your life, I think. You can be as confident as you want to be, as social as possible etc if you have the mindset to. Acne can't stop you from doing anything if you don't let it.
What you said about if you were to only interact with others with acne I agree with also. It's probably the main reason I would not join an acne dating site. 'The real world' is much more interesting. And in my experience, there are A LOT of people who don't care about whether you have acne or not. Often I think it's your own view of yourself or what you think people are thinking about you/your skin, that impacts how you interact with others.
Wise words.
I salute you 
Just a thought - if an acne related dating site were to exist - or for any of those dating sites for specific characteristics - would users need to prove their acne or whatever before their registration is allowed?
I think people will sooner lie about NOT having acne/scars rather than lie about HAVING it. I don't think anyone would join a website like that if they didn't have a problem like this.
And TakeToTheSkies I agree that you should love yourself completely and accept fully before you are with someone else...in a hypothetical ideal world. We all have insecurities and if we were to wait before we accept ourselves fully we would all die alone. I don't think personally that I will ever fully accept my scarring, I do not mind breakouts anymore. It's nothing compared to scarring. And I know it would definitely be easier with someone who understands that struggle. And who says that it would have to be about "dragging each other down", it might be about support and mutual understanding, among other things of course. What is wrong with that?
And I know it would definitely be easier with someone who understands that struggle.
I'm assuming "it" refers to having a relationship... I think being able to understand what someone is going through doesn't require first having gone through the same thing(s). If someone has lost one arm and they tell me that they have had trouble dealing with that, I'm not going to say "Oh really? Well, I can't imagine that. 
". It's the same for anything else. 
If someone says they have trouble dealing with the fact that they have hairloss or the fact that they are shorter than average or they have a mole or whatever; if I was to react, saying "Well, I think it's dumb that you're so upset about that. If you keep whining about it there's the door. " I would be some kind of jerk. And assuming you don't want to date a jerk, what does it matter then if your partner has acne or not? Consideration will be shown and respect will be given in any mature relationship regardless of whether your partner has gone through the same things as you or not. If someone isn't understanding or if they trivialize your suffering it's time to end that relationship. You just need to let this anxiety go, if you ask me. If you just open yourself up to someone, anyone who you are interested in and they are good people you'll find that you were worrying about something that doesn't exist; no one is going to have a hard time understanding what you are going through. They might not fully comprehend what it's like in the sense that they haven't gone through it themselves but they probably have other things that they went through. Things that you haven't gone through. And are you going to have a hard time being understanding of that? I don't think so. Most people know what it's like to have to deal with having undesireable things in their lives. Be it acne or some other thing. So in that way they can relate.
I'd like to add to this the following... If you feel I've misunderstood you Ensi, I'll happily take anything back.
Just a thought - if an acne related dating site were to exist - or for any of those dating sites for specific characteristics - would users need to prove their acne or whatever before their registration is allowed?
I think people will sooner lie about NOT having acne/scars rather than lie about HAVING it. I don't think anyone would join a website like that if they didn't have a problem like this.
And TakeToTheSkies I agree that you should love yourself completely and accept fully before you are with someone else...in a hypothetical ideal world. We all have insecurities and if we were to wait before we accept ourselves fully we would all die alone. I don't think personally that I will ever fully accept my scarring, I do not mind breakouts anymore. It's nothing compared to scarring. And I know it would definitely be easier with someone who understands that struggle. And who says that it would have to be about "dragging each other down", it might be about support and mutual understanding, among other things of course. What is wrong with that?
No one said it has to be that way and there is nothing wrong with that.
However, and i'm speaking from personal experience and from what i have seen in others.
Two acne sufferers become partners and the biggest thing they have in common is acne. They both have an immense understanding of that. This creates a bond that possibly these two people cannot have with anyone else.
Due to this very reason, the two people in question typically become each others only social outlet. Closing themselves off to the world because how can anyone else possibly understand our struggle?
In any relationship, be it family, friends, marriage, people always change. Now these two people either adapt or they go into a downward spiral. This is where the inherent insecurity of acne sufferers comes into play. They start to cling to each other even more, hoping the partner can make the world right for them.
Don't get me wrong. I have my bad days where i need a hug from my girlfriend and she also has her bad days (she doesn't have acne though). However we spend time apart from each other just as much as being together. Time apart is just as important as time together. This is typically where an emotional dependent relationship falls short. They don't have time apart either because they don't want to due to their insecurities or don't know how to.
If that relationship has become their only social outlet, then what do they do when time apart is needed? Simply put, they won't have time apart because they don't how to.
After this weekend i won't see my girlfriend for almost 2 weeks. We've spent a lot of time together lately, i want to catch up with friends and family and do other stuff, and so does she. It's an healthy balance which is required. More importantly we do not become too dependent on each other.
That is why i believe an acne dating site wouldn't work. Most of the relationships would be like this. I'm not saying they all would go that way but most do i'm sad to say.
Just a thought - if an acne related dating site were to exist - or for any of those dating sites for specific characteristics - would users need to prove their acne or whatever before their registration is allowed?
I think people will sooner lie about NOT having acne/scars rather than lie about HAVING it. I don't think anyone would join a website like that if they didn't have a problem like this.
And TakeToTheSkies I agree that you should love yourself completely and accept fully before you are with someone else...in a hypothetical ideal world. We all have insecurities and if we were to wait before we accept ourselves fully we would all die alone. I don't think personally that I will ever fully accept my scarring, I do not mind breakouts anymore. It's nothing compared to scarring. And I know it would definitely be easier with someone who understands that struggle. And who says that it would have to be about "dragging each other down", it might be about support and mutual understanding, among other things of course. What is wrong with that?
No one said it has to be that way and there is nothing wrong with that.
However, and i'm speaking from personal experience and from what i have seen in others.
Two acne sufferers become partners and the biggest thing they have in common is acne. They both have an immense understanding of that. This creates a bond that possibly these two people cannot have with anyone else.
Due to this very reason, the two people in question typically become each others only social outlet. Closing themselves off to the world because how can anyone else possibly understand our struggle?
In any relationship, be it family, friends, marriage, people always change. Now these two people either adapt or they go into a downward spiral. This is where the inherent insecurity of acne sufferers comes into play. They start to cling to each other even more, hoping the partner can make the world right for them.
Don't get me wrong. I have my bad days where i need a hug from my girlfriend and she also has her bad days (she doesn't have acne though). However we spend time apart from each other just as much as being together. Time apart is just as important as time together. This is typically where an emotional dependent relationship falls short. They don't have time apart either because they don't want to due to their insecurities or don't know how to.
If that relationship has become their only social outlet, then what do they do when time apart is needed? Simply put, they won't have time apart because they don't how to.
After this weekend i won't see my girlfriend for almost 2 weeks. We've spent a lot of time together lately, i want to catch up with friends and family and do other stuff, and so does she. It's an healthy balance which is required. More importantly we do not become too dependent on each other.
That is why i believe an acne dating site wouldn't work. Most of the relationships would be like this. I'm not saying they all would go that way but most do i'm sad to say.
I think most of us have families just like you and many of us have friends, some hobbies (so they have some kind of life) but still find it difficult to date, get close to somebody.
On the other hand, I have seen and know many couples without acne who spend most of their time together and rely on each other A LOT and are still happy. My sister (with totally clear skin, btw), for example is married, she lives abroad. She doesn't have any close family there except for her husband and daughter. Except for work she spends almost of her time with them, it's been like that for a few years and I KNOW they are happy. So you never know what might work.
Just a thought - if an acne related dating site were to exist - or for any of those dating sites for specific characteristics - would users need to prove their acne or whatever before their registration is allowed?
I think people will sooner lie about NOT having acne/scars rather than lie about HAVING it. I don't think anyone would join a website like that if they didn't have a problem like this.
And TakeToTheSkies I agree that you should love yourself completely and accept fully before you are with someone else...in a hypothetical ideal world. We all have insecurities and if we were to wait before we accept ourselves fully we would all die alone. I don't think personally that I will ever fully accept my scarring, I do not mind breakouts anymore. It's nothing compared to scarring. And I know it would definitely be easier with someone who understands that struggle. And who says that it would have to be about "dragging each other down", it might be about support and mutual understanding, among other things of course. What is wrong with that?
No one said it has to be that way and there is nothing wrong with that.
However, and i'm speaking from personal experience and from what i have seen in others.
Two acne sufferers become partners and the biggest thing they have in common is acne. They both have an immense understanding of that. This creates a bond that possibly these two people cannot have with anyone else.
Due to this very reason, the two people in question typically become each others only social outlet. Closing themselves off to the world because how can anyone else possibly understand our struggle?
In any relationship, be it family, friends, marriage, people always change. Now these two people either adapt or they go into a downward spiral. This is where the inherent insecurity of acne sufferers comes into play. They start to cling to each other even more, hoping the partner can make the world right for them.
Don't get me wrong. I have my bad days where i need a hug from my girlfriend and she also has her bad days (she doesn't have acne though). However we spend time apart from each other just as much as being together. Time apart is just as important as time together. This is typically where an emotional dependent relationship falls short. They don't have time apart either because they don't want to due to their insecurities or don't know how to.
If that relationship has become their only social outlet, then what do they do when time apart is needed? Simply put, they won't have time apart because they don't how to.
After this weekend i won't see my girlfriend for almost 2 weeks. We've spent a lot of time together lately, i want to catch up with friends and family and do other stuff, and so does she. It's an healthy balance which is required. More importantly we do not become too dependent on each other.
That is why i believe an acne dating site wouldn't work. Most of the relationships would be like this. I'm not saying they all would go that way but most do i'm sad to say.
I think most of us have families just like you and many of us have friends, some hobbies (so they have some kind of life) but still find it difficult to date, get close to somebody.
On the other hand, I have seen and know many couples without acne who spend most of their time together and rely on each other A LOT and are still happy. My sister (with totally clear skin, btw), for example is married, she lives abroad. She doesn't have any close family there except for her husband and daughter. Except for work she spends almost of her time with them, it's been like that for a few years and I KNOW they are happy. So you never know what might work.
I can't disagree with you there. Different things work for different people, you are 100% correct.
However can this be said for people who have an emotional instability? Not just from acne but for whatever reason. Looking through these threads a lot of the guys are suffering emotionally. I fear doing to an acne dating site would cause more problems than it would solve because they would just be putting a band aid over their issues.
call me crazy, but an acne-specific dating website would be a terrible idea, it would give people an excuse to never work on their confidence! the reason i say that is because if I had been asked to join such a site 5-6 years ago, i wouldve jumped on in a sec, but then i prob never would have left and spent even MORE time resenting people with clear skin!
Ok here's what's missing guys. Can two people dating who both have acne (preferably severe) chime in and tell us your thoughts? All this perspective from everyone else is great but we are missing possibly the main point of view here.
I say this with utmost respect to everyone. I just want to introduce all points of views to the subject. 
In my view it's not an option for me. First of all, I don't 'feel' online dating, but I could probably be convinced to it. The problem is that I probably couldn't feel good with person with acne and scars, becouse the condition of the other person would remind me about my condition and my suffering.
On normal dating websites, it's hard to disclose that you have acne because, if you mention it they'll assume that the problem is great enough to mention and that could be seen as "baggage", but if you don't mention it and they find out later...it won't be your best day, I'll tell you that. So I think it's a great idea OP. Someone mentioned about exclusivity, but let's be honest here, there are enough other dating websites out there, including extremely exclusive ones and no body really cares. If they can't join, or in this case, won't join then that's their choice, if they don't like it, they have plenty of other options if you see what I'm saying here.
My sister suggested I try dating sites, and someone I know who met his wife on one has been raving about them lately. My sister suggested two so I decided to try them out. So far, nobody has seen fit to reply to my messages. Whether it be someone who I found physically attractive, someone I messaged about common interests, or a combination of both, I sent out several messages but nobody has gotten back to me. Some people deleted my message without even reading it! I can only assume that they saw my picture and made a snap decision without even giving me a moment of their time. There's not much I can do about my appearance because I am who I am so I guess that's just what these sites are like. Seems really harsh to me and I'm not thick-skinned - reckon it might just be easier to stay single and lonely rather than try to change it but instead ending up feeling ignored or judged. 
While I can see the reasoning behind an acne sufferers dating site, I don't think I would want to get involved in it because I don't want my acne to define me. I've been lucky enough to have dated several different attractive girls over the years, and they were always able to look past my skin for whatever reason, and half of them personally told me they don't even notice when I have blemishes. That's a major confident boost, because in my mind I always thought girls wouldn't even give me the time of day if I approached them, but I've had girls approach me with interest in me even when my breakouts were the worst. I'll never understand it, but I won't complain either lol.
Dating sites in general can be kind of a disappointment anyways. The problem is girls on those sites gets hundreds of messages from guys per day, so for a guy it's especially difficult to get a reply back because you're just one out of god knows how many dudes messaging this girl, and she just gets to pick and choose as she likes. Last summer I did have success with one particular free dating site, I met two different girls from there in real life. One I dated for several months, and the other became one of my best female friends. It's kind of a toss-up though, because as I said the male/female ratio doesn't often work on those sites.
I can def agree with you as well Paul, because it takes a miracle just to get a reply back on some of those sites. I prefer dating in real life these days, it's easier to convey your personality that way.
Im sure most of those dating sites have memebers who have acne and scarring... I would join on though for sure.
Yes, I bet they do have people with acne/scarring, but they probably don't show it in the pictures. And that leaves them with the awkward moment when they ...face the other people in real life. And disclosing it earlier in the conversation online would probably also be quite troublesome.
prob not. I like the idea of moving all the people with acne to an island. That would be better. Just imagine.. the president of the island would be the person with the most acne.
then we could all live butt naked, smoke some great weed, and never ever have to wash your face again. yeeea!! pyaaaaah!
I
prob not. I like the idea of moving all the people with acne to an island. That would be better. Just imagine.. the president of the island would be the person with the most acne.
then we could all live butt naked, smoke some great weed, and never ever have to wash your face again. yeeea!! pyaaaaah!
I
I love this idea haha We'll blow some mad trees xD
Not sure about this idea. I'm on a regular dating site at the moment and I feel really guilty because my skin problems don't really show up in my photos - I kind of feel like a fraud. When the girls meet me in real life they must think, 'Yuck!'
I'd probably give a dating site for acne sufferers a go. I still think there'd be hierarchy, though - all the guys/girls with mild acne getting all the action and those with severe acne or scarring still feeling insecure, like they should be grateful for what they can get.
Not sure about this idea. I'm on a regular dating site at the moment and I feel really guilty because my skin problems don't really show up in my photos - I kind of feel like a fraud. When the girls meet me in real life they must think, 'Yuck!'
I'd probably give a dating site for acne sufferers a go. I still think there'd be hierarchy, though - all the guys/girls with mild acne getting all the action and those with severe acne or scarring still feeling insecure, like they should be grateful for what they can get.
It's not an issue for me now, but I can relate to having felt guilty about the photos I posted in the past. At the time of taking them, they would have been accurate as I never edit them or anything like that, but the pictures would have been taken on a day when my skin was good and that wouldn't have represented what my skin was like generally. It kind of felt like I was being fake or something, so I see where you're coming from. I was caught out by that once before and the one time I did meet up with a girl I'd talked to online, I was bang in the middle of the worse breakout of cystic acne I'd ever had. I probably had only two or three instances in thirteen years when my acne was cystic so I guess that was just really bad timing. 
That brings me to the next point because the girl in question was visibly repulsed by what she saw and she definitely didn't hold back when telling me what she thought. So I'd also be tempted to agree about that "hierarchy", although I guess it depends on the other person. No matter how horrible that girl was and how bad it made me feel - it was years ago and I still haven't found the confidence to try again with dating and don't really know where to start, even though my skin is clear now - her reaction says more about her than it does about me.
This is where I think things would differ if it was conducted among people with similar experiences, because I'd be tempted to think that anyone who has struggled with their skin to the point where it knocked their confidence would be more understanding and be nowhere near as judgmental or shallow. The severity of the acne is relative in some respects because the key thing is how it makes a person feel, and it's the feelings they have which shape their perspective of things and of others, in terms of looking for what actually matters.
I joined a dating site a while ago and I can't say it's been of much use to me. It's free so it's not like I'm losing anything, but nobody has ever written me back and nobody has ever contacted me first. Some messages I send even get deleted without actually been read. Even if it's just a line or two, it's annoying when you've taken time to read someones profile and perhaps comment on a shared interest, just for them to delete it without even opening it. I can only assume that they look at the thumbnail picture beside the message and think, 'Ewww! No thanks!' I can't see what other reason there could be, given that they haven't looked at the contents. I suppose it just gets me wondering how productive it is to use dating sites, period, and if it's worth bothering, regardless of whether you have acne or clear skin.
Not sure about this idea. I'm on a regular dating site at the moment and I feel really guilty because my skin problems don't really show up in my photos - I kind of feel like a fraud. When the girls meet me in real life they must think, 'Yuck!'
I'd probably give a dating site for acne sufferers a go. I still think there'd be hierarchy, though - all the guys/girls with mild acne getting all the action and those with severe acne or scarring still feeling insecure, like they should be grateful for what they can get.
It's not an issue for me now, but I can relate to having felt guilty about the photos I posted in the past. At the time of taking them, they would have been accurate as I never edit them or anything like that, but the pictures would have been taken on a day when my skin was good and that wouldn't have represented what my skin was like generally. It kind of felt like I was being fake or something, so I see where you're coming from. I was caught out by that once before and the one time I did meet up with a girl I'd talked to online, I was bang in the middle of the worse breakout of cystic acne I'd ever had. I probably had only two or three instances in thirteen years when my acne was cystic so I guess that was just really bad timing.
That brings me to the next point because the girl in question was visibly repulsed by what she saw and she definitely didn't hold back when telling me what she thought. So I'd also be tempted to agree about that "hierarchy", although I guess it depends on the other person. No matter how horrible that girl was and how bad it made me feel - it was years ago and I still haven't found the confidence to try again with dating and don't really know where to start, even though my skin is clear now - her reaction says more about her than it does about me.
This is where I think things would differ if it was conducted among people with similar experiences, because I'd be tempted to think that anyone who has struggled with their skin to the point where it knocked their confidence would be more understanding and be nowhere near as judgmental or shallow. The severity of the acne is relative in some respects because the key thing is how it makes a person feel, and it's the feelings they have which shape their perspective of things and of others, in terms of looking for what actually matters.
I joined a dating site a while ago and I can't say it's been of much use to me. It's free so it's not like I'm losing anything, but nobody has ever written me back and nobody has ever contacted me first. Some messages I send even get deleted without actually been read. Even if it's just a line or two, it's annoying when you've taken time to read someones profile and perhaps comment on a shared interest, just for them to delete it without even opening it. I can only assume that they look at the thumbnail picture beside the message and think, 'Ewww! No thanks!' I can't see what other reason there could be, given that they haven't looked at the contents. I suppose it just gets me wondering how productive it is to use dating sites, period, and if it's worth bothering, regardless of whether you have acne or clear skin.
From what I hear, dating sites are tough on all men who aren't rich and/or a supermodel - acne or no acne. To be fair, the women on those sites get bombarded with messages, many of which are from creepy men or men who are far too old for them. Men are also always expected to make the approach. It seems the more advanced the technology, the more primitively people behave! I think online dating is okay on the side, but face-to-face may still be better. It is such a painfully slow and rocky process, however. I think the stress of dating is also making me break out. When I was engrossed in my studies and not worrying about meeting women, my skin looked calmer and clearer... or perhaps I paid it less attention.
I'm 28 and sick of being alone, so I've reached the stage where I just have to tell myself I don't care anymore. I'll take the rejection; I'll take 100 rejections if it means meeting the right woman - better that than never knowing what love feels like. I'll just have to swallow my pride.
Sorry to hear about your experience. It's a cliche - but she really wasn't worth your time. I can only think that people like that have never had any sort of rejection or heartbreak or disappointment (or maybe too much, which is why they lash out?).
Well, I hope it doesn't get to you too much, Jamie, and that you find someone eventually. Maybe these things happen when we least expect it and when we're not actually looking for them. 
Perhaps you're right about the online dating thing; maybe girls do get a lot of hassle or stupid messages from certain types of guys. No harm in continuing with it I guess, as long as I keep things in perspective, because it's not a total reflection on me if they don't get back. Ironically, those who delete the messages without reading them are always the ones who say they're looking for a nice guy who knows how to treat people well and won't mess them around. Makes me wonder if they even know what that is because I'd like to think I fit that description, yet don't even get a look-in. Like you mentioned, maybe that says more about the dating game and the way technology makes people respond than it does about physical appearance, etc..
I think part of those feelings of being alone and that frustration of feeling left behind come from what society expects you to have done by a certain point, and it does seem that many people are becoming more and more experienced in these things at a younger age. I don't suppose that makes us feel any better when we're into our late twenties, but, I do think that it would ultimately lead to a better quality of relationship, for the right reasons, as and when it happens.