Thanks for the responses calla lilly, MountainMan and kimcj86. To kimcj86 I am not proud to say it but yes I am serious, or at least I was. I am beginning to think Mountainman was spot on with his comments towards me. For years now I have had countless moments when I have been stressed out over this, I have dealt with depression and low self esteem over a variety of issues and maybe this has led to me looking at minor flaws in myself and magnifying them into something much worse to the point i