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Everything posted by codeineaddict

  1. You can come round my house if you like Just tell your father I'm a female friend not all guys have a one track mind you know...
  2. I took about 30mg of Diazepam a day for about 2 months and I stopped suddenly, I was fine, no withdrawals, didn't even build up much of a tolerance to the drug. Clonazepam is a lot stronger than Diazepam however so I wouldn't go caning it every day. Usually they only prescribe it short term until an AD gets into your system anyway. (in the UK at least) and if you're worried at the end of the month, you can always ask your doctor for a taper dose.
  3. yeah, I doubt they'll care that much about your skin - it's not like you're applying for a job in a beauty salon or anything. If you know what you're talking about, you'll be fine. I was shaking and stuttering during my IT tech interview, and out of 12 people, they hired me. (which I can still scarecly believe) so good luck!
  4. don't worry about it dude, I know a guy who flunked out of a BTEC college course and now he's making £30,000k plus, whereas I have a HND and I've only just got a £15,000 year job (but it's one I'm happy with) I live in South Wales too (Barry) and I can't say I've noticed this girl/looks correlation - I see very good looking girls going out with trollish/balding/overweight etc guys all the time, it's just that these guys are funny and don't self obsess about themselves. (south wales has never
  5. I'm from the UK and I told my GP who referred me to a psychiatrist, and it was free, so it should be free in the UK (it is in Wales at least) I have different issues than you though (severe depression for no reason but it lasts only 2 weeks then goes away, then I'm fine) I was also taking "black market" Codeine and Diazepam (at first to deal with it, but then just for fun) which tbh is the only reason he referred me to a psych. If you tell him your problem he might just prescribe a course of S
  6. I recently found out a mate of mine had been acting very low as of the last few months because he thought he was going bald. He'd been visiting a site much like this one, only it's for Male Baldness - http://www.hairlosshelp.com/forums/index.cfm?nocookies=yes It's full of posts "My life is over - I lost another 500 hairs today", which many on this board might find rediculous, yet some people spend their entire waking moments thinking about their hair, just like others do with acne. I had neve
  7. me: at the bar being ignored girl: comes upto me girl: "you have big eyes" girl: turns around and walks away me: me: finally gets served girl: I like your t-shirt me: thanks, my mother bought it for me *doh*
  8. that sucks, man, maybe she was just joking around. Maybe you should go upto her and tell her that you're feeling a bit down about your looks and that you're happy to have her(probably best not to mention spying on her though), and it might make her feel a bit sorry and that you are trying (and just haven't "let yourself go") if I;d joked about a girlfriend of mine who got fat/acne or something and she came upto me and said she felt bad, I would feel really awful inside.
  9. Heaven is a place on earth? Are flights cheap? *taxi*... Wake up and smell the ashes, there is no God, no Heaven, no Way, we are all here because a microbe became a plant, then a mouse, then a man, and so on. We all have what we have because of a random order of chemicals/genetic code inside of our brains. We will do the pointless things we do, we will affect our immediate surroundings, we will die, the universe will go on (and then the universe will die too.. in one form or another) So
  10. 22 next month, never had a girlfriend that lasted over 2 weeks I know at least 3 people who are in the same boat (we all went to a dickensian male-only school) I tensed up around girls, especially when they flirted with me this must lead them to think either "he doesn't like me" or "he's a boring fucking sod" (the latter is closer to the truth) I got more female friends and now I find it easier to talk to girls I like (i.e. I can now open my mouth and say more than my name) maybe try just spea
  11. well, it don't get better for me. tried chewing a 40mg+ oxycodone? that'll make you feel better than any SSRI... Tricyclic... whatever... I wish they'd just prescribe that instead. I might ask next time "can I just have the 30mg codeines? please? I'll leave you all alone if you post a box through my door every week" (watch the paracetamol people ) I'd rather live my life smackerooned and happy than sober and miserable as fuck, and no, it's not the same as an alcohol drunk, you do not lose c
  12. If you're in the UK you should have filed self-certification sick pay, which lasts from upto a week, and you don't need your GP to sign it. (just put down flu) That will avoid you getting sacked. Do this too many times though and they will ask questions. I had a job interview at a school as an ICT tech, and there was 1 other candidate. I had a 1 or 2 spots and this guy was covered - severe pustules, the lot. I had a HND, he had a Degree. He got the job. They will only care if you have acne if
  13. I've been into Fear Factory, In Flames and Strapping Young Lad's early stuff, I like Deftones too, I still like Devin Townsend's "Synchestra".. that album has some songs that I can listen to on a warm day I also found a "slightly jesu-esque" type band called Vanessa-van-basten I really like, but I can't seem to find more of their stuff http://www.last.fm/music/Vanessa+Van+Basten/_/Dole never seen any of em live tho :( seems Jesu don't tour much in South Wales even though they're from wales
  14. one for any bikers out there... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVTv3QRe9GI Some chavs decide to get on a child's roundabout, and put the rear wheel of a scooter on it, then rev the engine. Never fails to make me laugh... I hope they didn't get hurt
  15. oh yes, Jesu are an awesome band and that is a good song I especially like "We all faulter", "Sun day" and "The playgrounds are empty" (not exactly happy songs, but they calm me down good..) Do you like Godflesh? (OK, they;re not quite the same, but still :angel: ) Happy, cheery songs you hear on the radio only make me unhappier due to how crappy, generic cheesy carbon-copy they are. Also how they are the exact opposite of how i feel. Angry or very serene and beautiful songs help me. A
  16. you look good in your pic mate, hope the accuatane sorts it out for you.. you'll have it sorted then.. :)

    Yeah, I'm more a backend programmer, more into PHP, VB, maybe a tiny bit of ASP.NET at the moment... I don't have much graphical flair so I tend to stick primarily to the code ;)

    I'm still very much a novice though

  17. that's dope as fuck mate, what is it, a VW camper? I'd love one of those, imagine taking that down the beach and having a few brews (if I could drink anymore...) by a fire (not that we have beaches or sun in industrial wasteland south wales anymore) of course it'd need GPRS/3G internet access I had a mate who bought an old 2.0 turbodiesel ambulance and kitted it out as a party waggon. awesome hell with house prices in the UK at an average of $300,000 for a 3-bedroom semi, it's quite an attra
  18. People said to me get a hobby, I'd start it but I'd think "what the fuck is the point, it will change nothing" They said "think happy thoughts" but I could not. every time I tried I reminded myself of what an idiot I was. they said "breathe deeply and count to 10" - did fuck all. Excersizing made me feel better for 10 mins due to the endorphin rush but no more opiates and benzo's (drugs) made me feel bliss for an entire day but DON'T do it as they fuck you up even more. - you get addicted. this
  19. I would like to switch my brain off and never have another thought again. Happy? maybe not, but imagine the serenity Being realistic (for now), it's probably the beach, the park, a pond, anywhere sunny and natural where I can have a swim and a barbequeue. (preferably in the company of a lovely lady) Just anywhere outside of the old, run down ex-industrial cities that I live in.
  20. I've never smoked pot I don't drink alcohol anymore but it makes me suicidal, but when I did drink it I felt much uglier. Well, I think I knew I looked exactly the same as I normally do, it just affected me a lot more, so I'd lose confidence for a while around women. I take Codeine (300mg) and Diazepam(20mg) recreationally/kind as an anti-depressant (still on an NHS psychiatrist waiting list... ) and when I look in the mirror, I see a very pretty person staring back at me. it's like it makes
  21. best go to go your GP about this one mate, he'll probably prescribe you some short-term benzo's to make you feel better until you can get an appointment with a psychiatrist/sort your issues out. If you're feeling depressed because of your current events even they can help you sort them out (fuck your dad-in-law up too, just because he deserves it). If you manage to get a good job, keep in touch with your friends, and get away from your fucked up father-in-law, and then remain well, you're prett
  22. I'd advise maybe seeing a GP about social anxiety disorder, see if he can give you some short-term meds for it (just to see how you feel). Wishing the problem away isn't going to work. It just doesn't work like that. At least you still have the change to go out and see students havning fun though, I am out of University and now I have the pleasure of getting up, doing nothing, going to bed, and repeating it thusly. I would advise seeking help or you will regret it.
  23. I do have to wonder though, if you carved your initials into his face then told him not to tell anyone it was you, wouldn't it be pretty obvious who it was anyway? worst I've really done is reversed into some rich yuppie git's merc in my shagged old escort. He came over to my window saying he was going to sue me for all I was worth, I just said "fuck you" and drove off rather sharply stuff like your post though, it might sound quite sick to an outsider, but I sometimes have vicious thoughts