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Posts posted by blackkchoco

  1. well, i was in medical class, and quite a number of lectures was on gland blockage, how seborrheic and oil can accumulate dirt and stuffs. I was so embarrassed because im the only one in class who are dealing with oily and blackhead skin. I just pretend to fall asleep throughout the test and i swore i heard giggles and the "sleeping" word-guess i was noticed afterall.

    and oh, how salesgirl promoting facial products came up to u and start their talk and i was with my classmates and one of them is my crush!

    and my best friend back in my teens days, accidentally had her hand wiped my face and she let out a ewwww omg, so loud that my classmates stopped and stared and saw her wiping her hand frantically on my shirt. Guess the next qns: What happen

    There's just too much embarrassing moments in my life. It would be a lengthy post if i post it all.

    But each of them made me wanted to dig a hole and hide somewhere

  2. I got blackheads, i would have classify it as moderate to severe, since it is affecting 3/4 of my face, and it's seem like blackheads are even tougher to get rid of. and i got pores at the blackhead, and i heard it wont shrunk and/or disappear. I look like shit after few hours after washing my face and not to mention i have oily skin.

    Deep within me, i just have this occur to me that my skin wont be the same ever again, even if i manage to heal it, the pores will still be that open, the oiliness probably wont decrease its production, the blackheads who knows when they will be completely eliminated.

    Although it saddens me, slowly i found myself registering to my "fate". Maybe i should be stripped of some emotions so i wont be so affected by this fact i discovered.=(

  3. I think a lot of people in the world, even those without acne, have enlarged pores. They suck yes, but I really really really don't think anyone notices them the way you do. While they are slightly visible in the pictures you post, those are very close up, from a normal distance I imagine they are very insignificant. I just don't want you worrying too much over this; its how I started and now I've ended up with acne dysmorphia.

    i think i have acne dysmorphia as well. Every single zit i get, regardless of size, scare me. Big ones literally scare the living day lights out of me.

    I keep getting scarred pores on my nose and cheeks. I dont know what to FUCKING DO.

    do you think jojoba oil can cause enlarged/scarred pores?

    i used jojoba oil on my already oily face, and it like one drop in my oil-free moisturiser, and that's why i got all the blackheads and pores over my face.

    for me, im going to stay away from jojoba oil or wadeva oil, period.

  4. some people say i look old, some people say i look younger at my age.

    im 18, but i feel like im 80 years old inside. Like i have dwell in this world for a long time.

    i dun feel the world is any interesting than i think it is, the days passed with a disheartening sameness most of the time, maybe it's because i juz didnt make full use of my days.

    anyway, i feel so much older than my age, i even think and speak like a old woman

  5. for me, i'd appreciated the comment if my friend say to me when there are no one around, but me and that friend only. that would make me happy.

    but if she say it in front of other people, seriously i feel like straggling that person, but i would just thanked her quietly, hopefully she wont mention it again and/or ask the what-do-you-use type of question.

  6. i have people discussing about acne in front of me.

    Some of these times, i was part of the group.

    I even had a friend who commented on another girl(who is not in the group) that she has corroded skin. And i was right there in front of that "evil" friend. Frankly, my acne was worst than that girl.

    anyway, everytime when such sensitive topics popped up, all i do was remain quiet and act busy like i didnt hear it.

  7. When I first got my massive jawline/neck break out a month or so ago, I went to Mario Bedescu in midtown east Manhattan for a facial, hoping they'd do extractions. Instead, two people came and stared at my neck and asked if I had gone to a dermatologist. The facialist wouldn't do a facial, but did a Gycolic peel on my non-broken out face instead. Then they sold me $100 worth of products (which made it worse. Seems like I have a reaction to SA). Luckily, I will return them for a full refund on Thursday.

    The worst part? The facialist saying, "oh, the skin, it is broken. I can't touch it." Thanks lady!

    oh my. How's ur skin now? is it better?

    i remember having similiar incident. where i passed by a shop that sells facial products and they looked professional. they keep on complimenting and recommending their own products, i used it and it triggered a worst results, i went back to the same shop and the girl first words were: do u even use our products.

    another thing, i dislike those people that asked me if i went to see a derm. it's like asking u to cut ur hair when u have already cut ur hair, smth liddat...

  8. thanks dreamlify.

    luckily the lady doing my face is a nice and understanding one.

    ya, i too see comments that acv can make u breakout with prolonged use. anyway, i stop using acv and baking soda as with AHA products, my skin has already sloughing the dead cells, and with baking soda is like a scrub add on top of it, and she said my skin cant take it. initially i used acv due to baking soda being too basic. now im stopping baking soda so i guess i should stop acv altogether.

    anyway, im back to trial and error, im using new products without AHA.

    hope u will see results with what u are using too.

  9. Although i still have some cysts and blackheads, but i think it is better than the skin i used to have.

    Just as i thought my confidence is coming back(hey it improved isnt it), den someone *ahem* like ur mum or relative *ahem* tell u that ur skin still looks the same and/or seem to become worst.

    It feel like u have dropped into the abyss of hell again.

    Because i have been pining my hopes in the baking soda and acv to eliminate my blackheads(my biggest problem) and fade my acne scars, so my disappointment seem to be greater.

    My mum forcing me to go for facial later. Im worried because im scare that this beautician would tell me all the things that i heard before like "you gonna have to take care of your skin" "your skin is really bad, did you even see a doctor" "looks are really important, you know" something liddat. Although i heard them before, they never fail to make me feel even more sad. And of cuz i took care my skin. It's my skin that haven been wanting to cooperate with me.

    The place is a long distance walk from my house. Im scared because after the facial, my face would become damn red and hideous. And i did not want to board the bus with such a sight which means i have to walk home. Hoepfully i wont bump into too much people...

  10. same goes for me.

    I used jojoba oil and it break me out, i discontinue usage but the breakout didnt stop once it started.

    My face is kinda orange-red when im outside and it juz didnt match the rest of my body(im quite white), and whenever I look in the mirror(from a distance), it juz looks plains weird.

    Good to know you have a boyfriend who loves you. For me, i wished that I have someone who can assure me that I still looked great to him despite my bad skin.

  11. I have cysts at my chin. LOTS of blackheads at my forehead, cheek, and the most at my nose. Have extremely oily skin. It quite a bad sight too. Sometimes i wonder how others(my friends/family) can cope with that look of me.

    Singapore is a warm country which means the chances of sebum production rate should be higher. But whe i walked on streets and in school, i can hardly see anyone with oily skin. And that probably the reason why some people think im "abnormal".

    Although im born with oily skin, my skin was cleared(except for blackheads of nose) for years, den i used the wrong product and my skin was screwed up. personally i think it would not return to how it used to be. And i would regret that decision of me when i used the product.

  12. LOL

    I used to be like that. But only when people ask me what did I do to my face(i had quite severe acne). I was clear at that time apart from my blackhead nose.

    So i talked as if i know what can "cure" zits in a sense.

    Well, now i have breakout here and there and lots of red acne marks because i used a wrong product(at one point, i added a new product into my regime) for my skin. And people who even has acne taught me what to do to my face.


  13. 1. hoping that the tempertature is low outside(not too much sun please), or the place u would be at has air conditioner. So ur face would not look so redden and hopefully shrink the pores and reduce the sebum outflow.

    2. if applicable, dim the lights. or take cover at somewhere where u think the lightning would be more favorable to you

    3. never maintain your posture when u talking to someone like u would frigid somehow so the people u are talking with would not have much time to notice/dwell on the problem areas.

    4. when u see a new regime or items that looks promising to eliminate acne, u would hit off the nearest supermarket/pharmacy

    5. always consider alot of factors when u considering/starting on a regime. for example, im currently using baking soda+acv, so i was wondering if i should use once a day or alternative day as some said it was not a gd idea to use everyday...blah blah blah.

    6. one negative comments on a item review make you think twice about using the product for fear of breaking out and had a damn hard time deciding if u should go for it.

    7. have thoughts of bringing everything-cleanser, toner...etc whenever u planned to stay outside for a long period.

    8. scared of going overseas as u are not sure if u are able to bring so many of ur products to the be checked in in the airport(at least for mine, there seem to be some restrictions implemented on liquid type of stuffs, if not wrong). And fear that a change in the environment might triggered some breakout.

    9.keep quiet when u heard someone comment on acne and hopefully no one would notice u are there...even if the comment does not specifically direct to anyone...

    10. would rather stand at the side or behind someone when taking picture. basically not in the front row and/or directly in front of the camera.

    11. u make up scenerios in ur mind of what happened if u have clear skin.

    12. starting to envy people who have clear skin

    13. hopefully can transfer one zit and/or blackhead to different areas of my body eg, hand or to someone with clear skin, as you know their skin would probably heal by itself and be clear again.

  14. ya. i thk i learned life the hard way.

    got teased alot since 12. den at 15-17 i was consider cleared and happy with my results. and not much teasing. now i seem to break out again(few months to 18) and the past haunt me again. and im losing my confidence and stuffs.

    i was a bad acne sufferer to begin with. i used to go for facial where the lady there would squeeze and pop those things out for me, and juz last week, i go back again after a long time, and she said she was shocked to see my face and even comment that it worse than the last time she see me.

    im scared of facing people for fear that they would judge me harshly again and flung bad comments again.

  15. kip up the gd work~

    i can relate to u. cuz i myself cried cuz of acne. and especially recently where im having continuous breakout and i hope it would stopped.

    but crying is a blessed relief. not saying u muz cry, juz that when u feel ur heart is going to explode. it ok to cry once in awhile, not really abt acne, but abt life.

    ya i agree with u. we cant control the acne so dun spend too much time brooding over it, since overthinking may lead to new ones popping out.

    i juz imagine myself that i look okay in people eyes, and with that, my confidence built up and things are better than those times where i kip thinking abt my acne 24/7 and maintain that gloomy look on my face,i juz look unapproachable.

    i was also thinking, if people cant accept u at ur worst, they dun deserve ur best

    juz some penny of my thoughts.=)