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Annoyingly Painful Reality

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About Annoyingly Painful Reality

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  1. I'm not bullshitting. People say fucked up things about my face and skin but most people can't even look at me. I hate that I sound so pathetic, but it's true. The pictures I posted don't show all of the holes and shitty skin texture, dryness and bumps.
  2. Thanks for responding Jack817. I try my best to not let negativity get the best of me, but it's really difficult. But stories like yours give me hope in thinking that I am worthy of someone's attention, romantic or otherwise, so thank you for the encouragement. And I'll keep trying to counter the bad vibes as best as I possibly can.
  3. I want to joke about how uncomfortable my face makes people feel, like in Harry Potter, you know? To defeat the Boggart, you have to turn it into something ridiculous, and that's what I want to do with all of these haunting memories of people cringing, avoiding eye contact, and making certain comments about my face. I want to just say "Ridiculous!" so the laughter can make the pain go away. It is kind of funny how people get rattled at the sight of me though. They fidget and squirm and come up w
  4. I'm 38 years old and have had this scarring since I was in my early twenties. I just want to come to terms with what's on my face, and to understand that people will be people, so I can move on and live whatever life I have left and not spend the rest of it hiding in my mother's house as I've down for the past eight years. And in person they look ten times worse, but I want to start trying to accept that this will always be my face. Is that possible?
  5. Social isolation is so painful for me. Do you know what I'm doing right now? I have a Youtube video opened up on another tab. It's a few guys just having a friendly conversation so that I can feel a part of a group of friends, and on my phone I have another Youtube video of a guy doing what he was born to do and that's play piano. It helps with the illusion of feeling connected to someone. I honestly don't know if I can use this blog section for these types of thoughts, but if the modera
  6. A glance over some of the blogs here and it looks like my blog may be out of place, but acne and acne scarring is the reason for my situation. And I feel that what I want to express would be understood better here than anywhere else, and I've written in other places too just hoping that there's someone out there listening. I guess that's better than what I have now. I hope this isn't depressing for people out there that read the blog section and create their own. And if it is, I'm really sorry,
  7. I would feel like crap if my best friend told me my skin was bad using those words, but on the other hand, I'm always trying to get them to agree with me that my skin is horribly scarred so that they can understand why I always feel like crap about it, but they always tell me that I'm exaggerating. But I notice that my friends react the exact same way other people do. They always act uncomfortable and they avoid staring at me directly. So if they said "my face was fucked up." It would hurt init
  8. That's good advice, and I'll try my best to maintain that healthy regimen. Thanks for the thread topic and take care.
  9. My daily active acne isn't as bad as it used to be, but it's my skin texture and scarring that plays a toll on my psyche, and it's the reason for my lifestyle of wallowing.
  10. it feels like everyone's against me because of my face. I'm 38 years old and haven't gone anywhere for eight years because of this torment. My own mom can't even look at me and she always looks uncomfortable when talking to me and that makes me uncomfortable. I haven't had a normal conversation with a person where they didn't cringe or avoid staring at my face in I don't know how long maybe 10 years. My face ALWAYS feels crappy and ALWAYS looks crappy and is getting worse every single day, but I
  11. Okay here it goes, one more time. I posted here around five years ago with the same title, and five years later it's still true today, and even more so because my face has gotten worse, way way worse. A little bit of background on my skin issues: severe cystic acne at 15 through 24 and still get active pimples at 38. The pimples are an issue, sure, but it's my skin texture and acne scars that are the primary cause for people to feel uncomfortable when they have to interact with me because
  12. In my opinion nothing is wrong with you. I think you're feeling what anyone would feel being in your situation. I think that's why this is a great place to write what you feel because we all are in similar situations. I'm 38 and feel exactly as you do. I've been struggling with this since I was 14 years old. I hope things get better for you and you find some motivation to turn your situation around. People are harsh. That's not going to change. Self-criticism is even more damaging. I haven't bee
  13. I've been in the wallowing phase for decades, and I'm still stuck, but I try to do what you said. I try to do something about it and work on improving my skin but nothing works for me. So I always end up back to self-pity and defeat. I'm 38 years old and nothing has changed. The only thing that's changed is my skin. My face gets worse and worse every day. My scars are horrible and everyone gets disgusted by the sight of me. But I try to have that mentality of doing something about it, but it's r
  14. "His face makes me want to vomit." "Did you see his face? It's disgusting" The gagging sounds people used to make when referring to me were pretty damaging, and the lack of eye contact is humiliating too.