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SaveTheBees

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  1. I’m going to do some monthly posts instead because weekly posts are becoming more and more monotonous and I don’t have time to post weekly. The past month was kinda rough, with lots of rounds of breaking out, calming down, and then breaking out again. The closed comedones are still being stubborn, though they have noticeably decreased. The few that come to heads are somewhat painful and contain a yellowy-white hard grain, like ¼ of a uncooked grain of rice. Switching into college was complicated for my dermatillomania and I’m still trying to get back on track with that, since the second I walk out of my room I’m looking into a huge vanity mirror. And I’m stressed. It’s great haha. I’m breaking out along the sides of my chin and a little on the middle of my cheeks, and the spots are usually the deeper (but not cystic or papule-like) breakouts that are probably from old closed comedones. Products used: -Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night -Neutrogeena Oil-Free Moisture with Sunscreen (SPF 15): mornings when I plan to go outside. -Burt’s Bees chapstick: use in morning and throughout the day -Aquaphor tube: apply at night before bed -Dove micellar water body wash -Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Castile Soap: Distilled 1:2 of soap to water in a separate glass bottle. Used in morning and in evening. -Heliocare oral supplement: on days where I plan to go outside a lot (still wear sunscreen, though!) -Kirkman’s Multivitamin without vitamin A or D -NAC supplement: for OCD, anxiety, depression (many sites suggest also taking a vitamin C supplement with NAC; I take the daily multivitamin below and a little bit of an “Immune+” Emergen-C packet [the type w/vitamin D, since my multivitamin doesn’t include it] every other day) Symptoms: -Dry face: Not considerably; getting some dry patches on arms -Dry lips: Yes, a little worse than in the past but not tragic -Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. -Depression: Same as usual -Thirsty: I definitely have to drink more water, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it’s a good habit to get into -Hair loss: Much less than past few months
  2. Holy heck it is closed comedone time, my dudes. They are everywhere. I didn’t used to break out on my cheeks but now I am. I still believe that it’s the comedones being expelled because I shamefully picked one of the more painful spots and a small, teardrop-shaped hard piece came out of my pore, almost like a small piece of uncooked rice. From previous experience, that’s similar to what is in closed comedones - really hard semi-spherical bits (don’t judge me, this is science). Good news: nearly all of the blackheads on my nose are gone, my body acne is almost gone as well, and my neck no longer breaks out. Bad news, aside from above: I got a cystic spot INSIDE my earlobe somehow (it feels like an airsoft bullet is in the exact center of my earlobe, just above my earring hole) and my period is wildly late. My research around sites like these said that having a really late period in your second month is quite normal, so I’m just hoping that it doesn’t decide to show up in the next few days, as I am moving into my apartment on Saturday. Products used: -Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night -Neutrogeena Oil-Free Moisture with Sunscreen (SPF 15): mornings when I plan to go outside. I hate the smell and oily texture of sunscreen immensely, but this product is actually pretty good. -Burt’s Bees chapstick: use in morning and throughout the day -Aquaphor tube: apply at night before bed -Dove cucumber moisture body wash: I use shower gloves for my body (GENTLY) -Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Castile Soap: Distilled 1:2 of soap to water in a separate glass bottle. Used only in the evenings after showering, or if I pick my face. -Heliocare oral supplement: on days where I plan to go outside a lot (still wear sunscreen, though!) -NAC supplement: for OCD, anxiety, depression (many sites suggest also taking a vitamin C supplement with NAC; I take the daily multivitamin below and a little bit of an “Immune+” Emergen-C packet [the type w/vitamin D, since my multivitamin doesn’t include it] every other day) -Kirkman’s Multivitamin without vitamin A or D Symptoms: -Dry face: Not considerably; worse in breakout areas and chin -Dry lips: Yes, a little worse than past weeks but not tragic -Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. -Depression: Decreased actually, potentially from NAC -Thirsty: I definitely have to drink more water, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it’s a good habit to get into -Hair loss: Yes, but I’m not going bald and I still have eyebrows. Less in the past two or so weeks. -SUPER late period, and a few scattered false alarm days where I got that feeling and just knew that it was gonna stab me in the uterus within the next 24 hours. Ladies, you know what I mean.
  3. So I think my weeks may be one off on these posts, but when I go back and look, I can’t see where the mistake is… idk. Ever since my dosage was upped, I’ve been getting a long and irritating breakout. I know it’s probably my body expelling the deep acne in my skin, but it HURTS and my skin picking has become a lot more challenging as a result. My closed comedones have become more numerous and obvious, yet all of my mirrors in my room are covered to dissuade my picking sessions so I’m not exactly sure if my comedones are the exact spots painfully coming to a head or not but the breakouts seem to be in the areas where those are the worst. I thought it was PMS but now I really think it’s just the Accutane. Products used: -Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night -Neutrogeena Oil-Free Moisture with Sunscreen (SPF 15): mornings when I plan to go outside. I hate the smell and oily texture of sunscreen immensely, but this product is actually pretty good. -Burt’s Bees chapstick: use in morning and throughout the day -Aquaphor tube: apply at night before bed -Dove cucumber moisture body wash: I use shower gloves for my body (GENTLY) -Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Castile Soap: DISTILL THIS bc its super concentrated. I did 1:2 of soap to water in a separate glass bottle. I started using soap on my face again, but only in the evenings when I take a shower because I’m starting to need to wear more makeup to cover up spots and water alone won’t take off my concealer. -Heliocare oral supplement: on days where I plan to go outside a lot (still wear sunscreen, though!) -NAC supplement: for OCD, anxiety, depression -Multivitamin: Recently purchased Kirkman’s multivitamin without vitamin A or D bc it’s important to get your vitamins especially when on NAC, but DON’T take any more vitamin A while on accutane, since the medicine is derived from A. Symptoms: -Dry face: Not considerably; worse in breakout areas and chin -Dry lips: Yes, a little worse than past weeks but not tragic -Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. -Depression: Decreased actually, potentially from NAC -Thirsty: I definitely have to drink more water, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it’s a good habit to get into -Hair loss: Yes, but I’m not going bald and I still have eyebrows. Less in the past two or so weeks.
  4. My spots are healing really quickly now, or more specifically the scabs I get from picking at spots. The closed comedones on my chin are beginning to come to (somewhat painful) heads, and after starting 80 mg I had a second mini break-out that’s still healing. My body acne is almost entirely gone now though, which is wonderful. I had a deep, almost cystic spot on my cheek that concerned me for a bit because I had hoped those were gone for good, but it’s going away on its own. I am really trying to not pick, and I started taking NAC supplement (it's safe with Accutane, according to my derm) to help take the edge off of my impulses and anxiety. It’s actually working pretty well I think, it seems to be easier to stop myself from picking and I have been a lot more productive overall Products used: -Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night after toner dries -Neutrogeena Oil-Free Moisture with Sunscreen (SPF 15): mornings when I plan to go outside. I hate the smell and oily texture of sunscreen immensely, but this product is actually pretty good. -Burt’s Bees chapstick: use in morning and throughout the day -Aquaphor tube: apply at night before bed -Dove cucumber moisture body wash: I use shower gloves for my body (GENTLY) -Heliocare oral supplement: on days where I plan to go outside a lot (still wear sunscreen, though!) -NAC supplement: for OCD, anxiety, depression Symptoms: -Dry face: Not considerably, but my whole body is noticeably drier than when I was on 40 mg/day -Dry lips: Yes, but manageable -Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. -Depression: Less than last week, I’m a bit of a mess lol (NAC also seems to help) -Thirsty: I definitely have to drink more water, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it’s a good habit to get into -Hair loss: Less than last week actually, or at least I seem to notice it less
  5. I’m still breaking out a little bit, though less than before. Skin still isn’t that dry. I wonder if I should take a higher dosage, or if I’m just one of the few people whose skin just doesn’t have chronic drying from Accutane. I really hhope it’s the second, my skin texture has been nice (aside from the acne bumps and scars :P) Trying hard not to pick at my face but my PMS is starting up, which means more hormonal acne. Trying to stay motivated and aware of my hands is really difficult. I have weeks of high motivation where I hardly pick and am really good at stopping myself, and then other weeks where I just can’t keep my hands off of my face. It’s very frustrating and I am not very patient, so the red and inflamed results of my sessions continuously wears on my self-confidence and hope that I can overcome this. I have a dermatologist appointment later this week and I want to ask her about taking NAC supplement, which supposedly helps with anxiety, depression, OCD/dermatillomania, and liver longevity. I’ve seen posts of other people using it while on Accutane, so hopefully she will be on board with it. Products used: -Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night after toner dries -Neutrogeena Oil-Free Moisture with Sunscreen (SPF 15): mornings when I plan to go outside a lot. I hate the smell and oily texture of sunscreen immensely, but this product is actually pretty good. -Burt’s Bees chapstick: use in morning and throughout the day -Aquaphor tube: apply at night before bed -Dove cucumber moisture body wash: I use shower gloves for my body (GENTLY) -I am really trying to keep down the number of products I use to prevent over-irritation Symptoms: -Dry face: Not considerably -Dry lips: Yes, but manageable -Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. -Depression: Possibly an increase, but also possibly from PMS -Thirsty: I definitely have to drink more water, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it’s a good habit to get into -Hair loss: Yes, but I’m not going bald and I still have eyebrows -Aches: started getting kind of achy recently in my lower back. I hadn’t been to the gym for a while so it’s from either the medicine or my really awful mattress.
  6. STILL breaking out, but skin picking/touching may have contributed to that. No cystic breakouts, but a lot of pustules, closed comedones, blackheads, and whiteheads (yuck). The closed comedones have worsened on my chin (they were there before Accutane) and have also started to appear on my cheeks and forehead. Fun times. I’m working really hard to stop picking my acne but it is so, so difficult when they hurt or are really distinct bumps. Stupid brain making me do stuff that’s bad for me. Products used: - Up and Up Charcoal Facial Cleanser: for morning face wash, occasionally (I mostly use just water though, bc I’m lazy and idk if the charcoal is too intense for my skin) - Thayer's Cucumber-Witch Hazel Toner Spray: spray on face morning and night immediately after cleanse - Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night after toner dries - Burt’s Bees Chapstick: use in morning and throughout the day - Aquaphor tube: apply at night before bed - Dove cucumber moisture body wash: I use shower gloves for my body (GENTLY) and bare hands for washing my face - I have some DERMA collagen sheet masks from Amazon that I use two or so times a week, mostly just for fun but they are also really moisturizing and I feel like I am doing more (I’m used to using like a billion different products and I’m really impatient so this helps me feel more proactive haha, also keeps me from touching my face) Symptoms: - Dry face: Not considerably - Dry lips: Yes, but manageable - Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. - Depression: No significant increase -Thirsty: I definitely have to drink more water, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it’s a good habit to get into - Hair loss: Yes, but I’m not going bald and I still have eyebrows
  7. Still breaking out Had a few bad days of picking that may have aggravated the situation. Mirrors and touch are big triggers for me, so I’ve already had the mirrors in my room and bathroom covered for a while. I’m using my brother’s vanity bathroom extension for putting on makeup (which I’m trying to do less but self-esteem has always been low and is even lower now that my face is extra bad) and I used paper to cover part of the mirror so I can’t lean in close and over-analyze my pores. My face still isn’t getting hyper-dry as so many Accutane users’ do, but my lips are definitely more chapped and my scalp is drier. Products used: - Up and Up Charcoal Facial Cleanser: for morning face wash (I’m starting to just use water though) - Thayers Cucumber-Witch Hazel Toner Spray: spray on face morning and night immediately after cleanse - Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night after toner dries - Burt’s Bees chapstick: use in morning and throughout the day. I hate the texture of heavy stuff on my lips so I like to use the thinner chapstick throughout the day. I’m using the classic peppermint ones now because I have so many of them, but I recommend the moisturizing ones because they’re a lot smoother. I keep one in my pocket throughout the day for reapplying. I really suggest Burt’s Bees brand though! Save the bees AND your skin - Aquaphor tube: apply at night before bed - Dove cucumber moisture body wash: I use this with shower gloves (gently) to keep myself from picking at my skin in the shower. I just apply it to my face with bare hands though so minimize abrasion. I dropped Suave b/c it started to irritate my skin and dried it out more than it moisturized. I stopped using the oil cleanser because I finally found out that a lot of the passive spots appearing on my skin weren’t sebaceous filaments, but closed comedones, so the oil may have made that worse also it tends to be a drying process, as it is often used for oil pulling, so probably not the best product while on Accutane. Symptoms: - Dry face: not considerably - Dry lips: yes, but manageable - Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. - Aches: Most likely due to gym workouts - Depression: I have anxiety and Dermatillomania (OCD behavior), and potentially mild depression as well (according to my therapist) as a result of anxiety so it comes and goes in waves but there hasn’t been a noticeable increase - Tiredness: Started taking the medicine in the evening and I’m not as tired during the day anymore - Dizziness: probably linked to tiredness; is no longer noticeable - Thirsty: I definitely have to drink more water, especially when I wake up in the morning, but it’s a good habit to get into - Hair loss: I’ve definitely noticed more hair loss. I get this same symptom when my anxiety gets really really bad, but it hasn’t really gotten like that so much since I’ve started college so the hair loss is definitely linked to the medication. I keep my hair in a braid most of the day and at night to try to limit it, though to be honest I don’t know if it makes a significant difference.
  8. Definitely breaking out more, really hard to ignore the bigger ones but I can generally keep myself from touching smaller bumps unless they have a whitehead, then I just scrape them off with a fingernail. Not very dry yet, as far as I can tell, and definitely not dry on my chin or forehead/nose. Scalp/back seems to be getting drier and more broken out, but my hair still gets nasty by the end of the day. Products used: - Up and Up Charcoal Facial Cleanser: for morning face wash - Thayers Cucumber-Witch Hazel Toner Spray: spray on face morning and night immediately after cleanse - Aveeno Sheer Daily Moisturizer: morning and night after toner dries - Burt’s Bees chapstick: use in morning - Aquaphor tube: use as chapstick, mainly at night ( I don’t like heavy or thick substances on my lips during the day) - Suave Cocoa-Oatmeal Body Wash: use with shower gloves (gently) on body, use with something softer like a Konjac sponge for face (DO NOT use gloves on face, they are too abrasive) - DMC Deep Cleansing Oil: use twice a week as gentle exfoliator; apply 1-2 pumps of oil to face with fingers and wait for ~5 minutes, then massage face with gentle pressure in circular motions for ~5 min. You will LITERALLY feel and see the blackheads and clogged pore plugs come out. Wash off with gentle cleanser. Super satisfying, but once I start getting drier it may become too drying, so this part may not stay. Symptoms: - Dry face: no - Dry lips: no - Dry nose/eyes: Not really, maybe a little with my eyes. - Aches: A little bit, but could be due to gym or poor mattress. - Depression: no more than usual - Tiredness: Yes, I became more tired and “disconnected.” I am going to try to take it in the evening rather than the morning now to see if it helps. - Dizziness: Like I said, I felt more “disconnected”/daydreamy, and sometimes that became a little dizzying or nauseating but not enough to really be concerning. - ThORsty: I am consistently really thirsty for some reason? My throat feels a little stuffy too, like I had a cold. I was taking pretty strong antibiotics for acne before I started Accutane, so perhaps my body is just trying to readjust to needing to defend itself.
  9. This is my string of weekly updates and self-motivating factors as I try to combat my acne with Accutane while also combatting my Dermatillomania (OCD behavior that makes it enjoyable for me to pick at imperfections and bumps on my skin, like acne, especially when stressed). Accutane is more cost effective, efficient, and thorough than trying to counter my broken-out, oily skin with even more over-the-counter products and regimens. My skin just doesn't respond positively to anything, it either makes it break out or makes it break out really badly. I’ve also started getting a ton of really annoying sebaceous filaments on my chin that won’t go away. I’ve tried many topicals and antibiotics to no avail, and this is the last resort. I may not have chronic or severe cystic acne by most people’s standards, but it is definitely unresponsive to the combined attempts of my dermatologist and I. I have been weakly fighting my Dermatillomania over many years, as despite the scabs and scars it is still shamefully and uncontrollably satisfying to me to clear out my pimples. I see a therapist for both my anxiety and skin-picking now, and I hope that taking Accutane and knowing that I could smooth over most if not all of my self-inflicted damage from the past will provide the extra motivation to get over this utterly embarrassing and socially limiting disorder! Please help me out and follow me on my journey, if you will Products used: - All of them, pretty much, at some point. - CeraVe moisturizer makes me break out for sure. Symptoms: - Acne is dumb - Honestly what the heck
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