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OverTheHorizon

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Posts posted by OverTheHorizon

  1. DAY 155

    Well that's finished. :dance: I'm very relieved. That's a huge load off my mind.

    Skin is very good. No spots. One small lump under my skin which may need removal some other way - however this may not be acne and only I notice it, and only when I shine light a certain way - all the same I want it gone, and so it will be gone).

    Hair is very dry, and falls out every so often (but not at all noticeable so maybe another one grows every time one falls out). This is of mild concern.

    I've noticed that I need a hell of a lot of sleep lately! Another bodily quirk I'm hoping to experience less.

    Of note- my body aches and pains really went away in the last week for no apparent reason. Before I got off the tane! hmmm.... doesn't make sense.

    I'm looking forward to drinking very soon. I'll give it a few days.

    At a slightly stressful part of my life right now.... so hopefully getting off the roaccutane will give me a bit of the bounce I need.

    I'm glad I carried on until 155 days. I'll let you know what happens in the "withdrawal"...

  2. I've checked my stocks and I only have 21 days left worth of roaccutane which brings me up to Day 154 or 155. I've decided that this will be the time I end my course.

    This is only 41 days on 60mg, the rest on 40mg, but I have decided that given my workload and stressload, it would be the best option to quit then, and if my skin reverts to its former self, I'll just have to go back on the drug (if so I will INSIST on getting my dose raised earlier).

    But hopefully that won't have to happen. I am looking forward to a life without acne, and without acne side-effects.

    So it's the final countdown now. I can hold my remaining roaccutane in my hand and know that the end is in sight!

  3. Day 123 great!!!

    I like the look of 123. It shows how far through the course I am. I remember looking at that number a few months ago and envying the people that were so far through!

    Well that depressive episode I had was pretty awful. I don't know how much I can blame it on the roaccutane though. Actually that whole situation has made me realise that somebody I considered one of my best friends is actually not a friend at all. That's a pretty dramatic change which will change the status quo of my life....

    Does anybody else remember Sid!'s accutane log?

    I remember he had some dramatic episodes in his life during his course too. I'm trying to discern the nature of the association between Accutane and life-drama.... Is it that:

    1) Our perspective changes due to the drugs: We all have constant drama/trouble in our life but is just seems much more depressing/dramatic/difficult to deal with when on RoAccutane or....

    2) Our behaviour changes: RoAccutane makes us act more irrationally (in a subtle enough way for it not to be obviousl to us or those around us) and causes trouble which then depresses us or....

    3)nothing changes: it is just a coincidence that I have found the past few months difficult, and I noticed on Sid!'s blog that he did too. This is only two different experiences on the drug and most people seem fine. Our troublesome experiences while on the drug were unrelated to the drug.

    Well that's what I have been wondering about anyway.

    As regards my skin and side effects, my skin is good, but still getting spots.

    I notice some hairs falling out again now (possibly due to raising the dose), but no real signs of impending baldness, apart from my hair feeling less abundant on the top (not looking it though and most likely this is in my head). My lips are extremely dry and need constant chapstick.

    Muscle and joint pains, but not bad and not restrictive.

    So only two more months. I am aiming for 180 days, but if I reach two months from after the date I raised my own dose to 60mg, I will feel okay about ending my course then. That's only a diffrence of about two weeks.

    I am going to make an appointment with the psychiatrist (who it should be noted that I have visited before, about depression, a long time before I went on Roaccutane). So hopefully he won't fob me off as soon as he hears about the drug I'm on. I'm wondering if I should even tell him about the Roaccutane. I REALLY don't want to be taken off the drug after coming this far and that's what I'm afraid will happen.

    I suppose I should really tell him about the Roaccutane anyway, since Prozac might interact with Roaccutane or also damage the liver or somthing

  4. Please talk to someone who can help and not someone who puts you off. The fact that you wrote something on this forum speaks volumes of your maturity and self worth. My father did what you are talking about and if he had just called out...just please please please reach out to someone who will listen.

    You will be in my thoughts many times over the next several weeks.

    Suicide seemed attractive for a brief interval. It was like one of those times when you are in such intense physical pain you want to just die. It was like that except it was emotional pain. Not pleasant.

    Thanks for that advice. I actually was trying to call people the whole time during that episode and it was hard to get in touch with anybody!

    I don't think this is due to Roaccutane though. Maybe it is, I am not sure. I know my mood swings more easily but I also know I was depressed before even starting. I am thinking more in terms of going on prozac or something when I finish this roaccutane

  5. The other thing I noticed is that when my skin was bad last week, people looking at me, and then looking away when I looked at them. unless I'm neurotic

    This made me chuckle. I mean that in a light spirited way. I think most acne sufferers are neurotic which is why I love this board. ;)

    I hope the 60mg doesn't make your nose bleed worse. I also hopes that it helps you progress more to your tastes. Keep truckin'! We're almost done!! :clap:

    HELP I FEEL SO DEPRESSED I FEEL LIKE CRYING

  6. Day 114

    I forgot to put sun cream on the other day and I got completely burnt. My skin is still peeling. Silly me!

    I have also upped my own dose to 60mg/day. This is because my skin is still not perfect and both Siava and eliebellie started on the same dose but have been raised already.

    I don't want to have to go on this drug again so I want to make it work this time

    Day 105 I'm sure

    I just forgot to add a few things. My nose is constantly bleeding. I'm worried that this must have something to do with my liver as I am aware that alcoholics with liver failure get nose bleeds and I have been drinking a bit. Not much, but I have very low tolerance. I'm not going to have any more drinks.

    The other thing I noticed is that when my skin was bad last week, people looking at me, and then looking away when I looked at them. unless I'm neurotic

  7. Day 105 I'm sure

    I just forgot to add a few things. My nose is constantly bleeding. I'm worried that this must have something to do with my liver as I am aware that alcoholics with liver failure get nose bleeds and I have been drinking a bit. Not much, but I have very low tolerance. I'm not going to have any more drinks.

    The other thing I noticed is that when my skin was bad last week, people looking at me, and then looking away when I looked at them. unless I'm neurotic

  8. Day 104 (I think)

    Well I've come this far and right now my skin is pretty much perfect. I barely need to put concealer on. It barely makes a difference.

    But only last week I had a cyst in a really bad place that kept me housebound for 2 days. That was DEPRESSING.

    That gave me two different thoughts:

    1) It reminded me of how awful it feels to have unwanted extra features (large cysts) on my face. The reason I decided to take this last resort drug

    2) It also made me worry that the drug is not working - has anybody else had problems this far into their treatment?

    The skin on my (flawless) forehead is pretty oily. Hmmmm.... is that normal?

    Back still gets sore more easily, lips still super dry....

    Also another question - When you finish Roaccutane does your mood improve?

  9. Day 79 I think, pretty sure.

    Well thanks for your reponses everyone.

    I have just got a huge cyst broken today. It's terrible. In a really obvious place. and I had just been admiring my skin. I just that I had read earlier that Day 80 was the day after which your skin is supposed to have settled. Well I suppose that isn't true for me.

    Lips seem to have some kind of fungal infection according to the dentist I went to. which is gross.

    Life is rather stressful at the moment. I have just started a new job and I am in way over my head. I am relying on some senior academics to teach me, and I think they're shocked at how little I know my way around. I'm a nuisance to them.

    Plus I'm in debt.

    .drowning in responsibilities, loneliness, and increasing apathy.

    But let this not be a rant, I actually feel pretty okay when I don't think about it all.

    I've been thinking that maybe anti-depressants might be an idea when I'm finished this drug.

  10. Day 70 (I think)

    Update on everything:

    Skin clearer and clearer - not 100% though

    No side effects.. other than lips.

    Does my hair on top feel slightly thinner? I don't know. Hard to tell. But you can't feel a difference

    I think I am emotionally a lot more labile. I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for the past few weeks. I don't know whether it has beene extraordinary events or what but sheesh!!!!

    I witnessed something very sad indeed. So sad.

    I have also fallen in love where there is no chance of anything happening. Oh well.

    So maybe that explains why my mood has been all over the place but who knows.

  11. Day 37

    Ok for some reason my skin is oily again - how has that happened? hmmmm. not good

    That potential deep cyst has not grown, but not gone away and it's beginning to piss me off, especially the othr one which I thought was a scab turns out to have grown up.

    It's like the bad old days. I know I'm relatively early on but things seemed to be improving there for a minute.

    My lips are dying a slow and painful death too. And I have some peculiar rash on my hands that is itchy. Could it be eczema? I have never had eczema.

    My feeling is going more and more in favour of raising my dose. This was not the plan....

    I also feel depressed, to the degree where getting out of bed seems an achievement. Plenty of little bad things keep happening and I'm not sure I can handle them. I just need to be alone, need some space, need my feet to stop itching, need work to stop piling up, need to sort my money problems out god damn.

  12. Day 34

    My hair has not changed noticeably at all. I haven't noticed as many hairs falling out. I'd say 5 in the last 5 days that I've noticed.

    I had another nightmare last night, which made me sweat in bed.

    My skin is mostly clear apart from one potential deep cyst - the kind that seems relatively minor until you disturb it by squeezing it or scratching it and then becomes HUGE!!!!! Well that has not happened, but it hasn't gone away - but I'm not going to upset it even more. Hopefully it goes.

    Lips are dry, but ok. Back hurts a little, but VERY manageable.

  13. Day 29

    I've returned safely from a fantastic trip to the mountains. The cold air played hell on my lips. They bothered me the whole time. Other than that, I had a couple of actives that have already healed. My blood and pregnancy tests are tomorrow and my derm appointment is on Thursday. That's all there is to report.

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