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Release the Stars

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Posts posted by Release the Stars

  1. mmm.. delicious.

    Ok cook your rice (or sprout/soak for raw). When you cook your rice add some of the black juice/broth from the black beans can.

    Boil your beans. add some water to make it as soupy as you want and ad pork if you want, onions, and salt. thats all.

    Then grab a bowl. Put some rice and pour the bean soup on top.

    Garnish with:

    -choppped cilantro

    -diced raw onions

    -diced raw radish

    -a squeeze of lime or lemon

    and if you want... the special ingredient is roasted tomato sauce.

    put a couple tomatoes on the stove top and pretty much burn them. then toss em in a blender and ad some salt. Add that to the soup too. I grew up on this stuff. Love it

  2. So I went in to my appointment and e did a laser facial. but before he did that he "extracted" my zits...

    WTF? i have been trying so hard not to touch them things and here he comes with his big fat fingers and pops them ALL!!!

    I asked him if it would cause scarring and he let his assistant answer by saying

    "when you pop your own zits you push th bacteria back down, but when HE does it he pushes them from underneath."


    so i went home with huge scabs. By the way some of the pimples he poped hadnt enven come to a head. They were just sore red bumps, and somehow he was able to push the fuck out of them all the sebum he could....

    Then I got scabs, and guess what??? every scab grew a fucking white head underneath. I washed my face just now and one really huge one started oozing more sebum and bleeding like a volcano. And I KNOW its not done, becasue the pore still sits on a huge rock hard mountain and it's surrounded by more little zits. Thanks Derm. you just gave me MORE scars. THis is the guy who gave me Fraxel to reverse scarring a few months ago... so I hope he knows what he is doing, but how can this be any different. In my experience, a volcano like that is gonna leave a mark... a huge one.

    So anyways, what to do when a zit is poped and blood starts oozing out. what do i put on it?

  3. Finnaly went to my psychologist. It went pretty good. There was no breakthrough or epiphany but just knowing Im getting counseling gave me so much hope. I felt great afterwards and the day after. I cant stop telling my friends and family how good it went. We only got to know each other a little bit, but Im really exited.

    One funny thing: I asked him if he would eventually diagnose me with one or more disorders so that I could go to a support group with other depressed and self critical peoples like me. He said the diagnosis would come eventually but he had to diagnose me on our first meeting with something. He said something like "well right now I have to diagnose you... for..." he danced around the conclusion to his sentence a little, and I finished it for him by asking "insurance purposes?". We had a good laugh. He wrote me down with "adjustment disorder".

    I also asked him how often i should see him. He said most patients go once a week, but some cant make it so they go once every other week. "I was thinking like 2 or 3 times a week" i told him. We had another laugh. So... Ive got another appointment on Mon and Wed at 8 and 9 pm. lol

    So now Im wondering how much of my problem is the acne and how much of it is in my head. If I got rid of acne completely, would I still feel so damn ugly. Am I ashamed of myself because I have acne? Or is it because I am generally ashamed of myself that I purposely find flaws and make acne a problem. Really, I have no idea what other people think about my complexion. My brother says he cant see what I talk about when I point out all imperfections. "is everyone blind?" I feel its so damn important what others think of me, and I want to be pretty. weird.

    anyways, i feel like this thread may no longer be appropriate for acne.org. I've been using this forum to get my feelings out. lol

    thanks for being there. everyone. This is a pretty good support group.

  4. Mental hospital is taking it a bit too far, heh, but you need professional help. It's not normal to react like that (except from on this forum, I guess). You most probably have other issues in your life depressing you, and your acne triggers and strengthens these emotions. There's no shame in getting help, and when your family and friends can't do that, find a psychiatrist.

    Yes, im sure there are lots of issues depressing me. Where do i start though?

    8 pm?? yes that's quite random. hope you don't show up and it's just some dude sitting in his living room, looking for a chat lol.

    jk i've heard of places that go that late. i've been looking for one around me but can't seem to find anything :(

    let us know how it goes. good luck ;)

    Im scared. It's in the weird part of town where you cant get reception. But oh well, maybe they can help.

    Good advice ^

    Seeing a therapist and psychiatrist gave me my life back.

    That reminds me. Does anyone know who I should see? there are Psychiatrists (they presrcibe right? i dont want drugs) , Psychologists, therapist, shrink, counselor?

    dude ive been to HORRIBLE extents....i cant figure out y its happening...or what really cures it for me

    but the one thing out of everything ive done that TRULY CURES acne....is doing........

    NOTHING.. yes absolutely nothing....it took about 5 days but after 5 days of nothing im sooo clear...i look back at old photos and just delete them....im puttin my past acne life beside and just forgetting about it completely... it came so close to ruining my life that i just am forgettin about it completely.

    Nothing means NO pills, topical medications, excessive washing, or diet. The only thing i do is swim/excerise every other day about.....which could have healed it....but i figured my face gets to look like shit after the topicals are done working anyways....topicals seem to cause it later on too

    Your regimen sounds pretty good. Are you still using proactive? Oh and I've been exercising too. I still don't go outside much, but.... IVE GOT DDR!

  5. I saw a new derm because i was looking for someone that could see me right away. I was expecting a cortisone shot or some immediate relief form this outbreak and she tried to give me antibiotics... ugh... I refused, and she refused to give me cortisone shots. lol

    she also wrote me an RX for a foam wash and a leave on foam. They are super expensive and im not breaking out any more. It's just this set of zits that came all at once I have a problem with, so I'm just letting my face breathe for a while until it the inflammations calm down. Maybe put some sulfur or something, but thats it. I wont overdo it this time. promise.

    Oh my psychiatric appointment is for this wed at 8pm. weird time no?

  6. I know from experience ok.... and having "healthy" skin has nothing to do with getting acne. The fact that people walk around thinking people with acne are unhealthy is just completely wrong, eating healthy can only do so much, if acne is in your genes your are going to get acne no matter what the fuck you put in your mouth, no one that hasn't dealt with it would know any different.

    It's an annoying misconception and if i didn't believe the same bull shit when i was younger my face wouldn't be fucked. Thank you.

    You're wrong. You may apear to have a healthy body with your six pack and all, but how can you say that you are healty inside? To me, having healthy skin means not having wounds on my face. And yes, what you eat can help tremendously. Even with you genes. If you start a low carb diet, no grains, no sugars, no junk. It has worked for me. And lots of doctors are recomending it.

    Anyways quit saying that you know, when I know you havent tried EVERYTING.

    You say you have the acne gene right? Lets say your dad had acne so you have acne. Well imagine if you dad was hypogicimic and never knew it. And so are you, and any bite of pizza would shoot insulin into your blood like crazy and made you break out. There is no acne gene.

  7. Karma you don't know what your talking about, i keep my body in top anabolic form which means 100% vitamins, water, protein. Im 75kg 170cm tall with a six pack. Your body does not affect your skin. If you think that the only reason a person who is acne prone gets acne because they don't look after their body, you are completely uneducated.

    Acne isn't internal, go research how acne forms before you make yourself look stupid again. Also what dumb ass ever said skin is a direct reflection of the body, your just making up facts which is very detrimental to your cause...

    But Mac i really hope you take my advice, and don't worry if you get treatment for your skin now you wont have any permanent scars.

    OMG keep it up. internal, external. it still the body, and acne does relflect your health.

  8. Wow this site is so clueless. No exercising wont get rid of acne or change scars in anyway, actually sweating can irritate your skin more. Heavy lifting also increases testosterone levels which leads to more acne. Also no you do not have to have a healthy body for healthy skin.... But there's nothing wrong with having a good body and being fit.

    You don't really have scars, all you need to do is stop fucking putting tooth paste and cocoa butter on your face, tooth paste wont do shit and cocoa butter, hello 1 it wont fade your red marks 2 its fucking greasy!!! Only wash your face with warm WATER, no soap no anything, twice a day, don't use any more stupid shit on your face and if your acne doesn't go away then see a doctor about it.

    I can do the same thing: (its better if you reald it out loud like a bratty girl in elementry school)

    You guys are fuckin stupid cuz i read in this one article that heavy lifting is bad for you and so is sweating. So even though running will level up your hormones, you better watch out for sweating. M'kay? Gosh everyone is so dumb.

  9. Thanks Jesebel. I have a derm AND psychiatrist apointment today. oh and your second msg is too kind.

    Thanks brokendoll. I really is not fair

    missyjean 130. it really isn't that severe. Its more a self esteem thing... i think. Thats what im told anyways. Oh and I tried acutane for a week and it hurt all over. Im convinced not to use it.

    Thanks Weegee, but you are gorgeous in YOUR avatar. Can I asume you're acne free?

    John 1234, aka my twin brother? LOL. yeah. 21/22. We should be getting layed now.

    AlexGF. That sounds nice. Im just so tired of distracting myself. It's like i have to get over the fact that I have acne everyday. I just have to ignore it, and then I catch a reflection. I can't help it. It makes me sick.

    Blue Strawberry. You are just too cute. Thank you. Just knowing people are posting gives me hope. And also feel less lonely.

    Thanks Shtfaced :D . I never thought I'd say (write) that. lol. yeah the enema...

    Siouxsie. yeah. that sounds really nice. You're right. I only want to be perfect. I feel like I'm not allowed to be flawed. Thats insane though. Thanks.

    Thank you all for posting. I'm going to get better. I know it. I just hit a rough spot and it hurts like hell. well... ill keep posting i guess. I hope I don't have to. cuz you know.

  10. So for a time, I thought I had completely beat acne. I was running, quit smoking, eating health, no gluten, no wheat, no sugar, no processed foods, I took vitamins, had a good regimen and so on. When acne cleared up, I was left with red marks. As these marks faded, it left me with scars. These scars I know now that will go away. I’ve realized that when there is a red mark, its texture is a little different. Its harder tissue and sits at a lower level than the healthy skin around it. Anyways, I was so emotionally scarred from acne that I still felt all the ugliness without the acne. I got fraxel.

    I spent $3,000 on 4 treatments, and things were looking well. Even so, I became completely obsessed with my face. No mater what it looks like, I want it to look better and better. I would occasionally catch my reflection on a car window and get this sick feeling. My face looked destroyed, it was red even without acne (more like a blush from fraxel). I noticed that the skin on my face didn’t match the skin on my neck or arms, and that made me really scared. Sometimes when I would walk to class I would wear huge sunglasses thinking they would cast a shadow on my face so my scars, or better yet uneven texture, could be less visible.

    I have a class at noon where you have to walk through this hallway that has a glass wall on one side. The bluish white light would come in through that window and hit my face at just the right angle, or should I say wrong angle. As I approach the door at the end of the hallway I catch my reflection on a little glass part of the door. My face looks like shit.

    As I enter the class I am still picturing my ugly face. This class is a lecture. The lights are off for the projection on the wall. Above the students heads we have little lights so that we can see our notes. Well, these lights I feel cast harsh shadows. I spent a lot of the time in that class looking around at other people and try to see their skin imperfections. I wonder what my face looks like under those harsh lights, and I can’t get my mind of it. I have no clue what the significance of studying the fucking Egyptians is. Did THEY have acne? I bet not. The pyramids prevented acne right?

    So at that point, I didn’t have acne, just uneven texture, large pores... basically the skin of someone who has had acne recently and no one else can tell nor cares, but I cant get over it. I heard that doing chemical peels make the face appear smoother. I tried lactic acid when I read it was the mildest peel and that it stimulated collagen. Sweet. Ill do that. Also at the same time I ordered this from a website, I ordered a lot of other things (snail serum, emu oil, castor oil, tea tree oil, sulfur cream, zinc oxide cream, hydrocortisone cream, green tea mask, aloe very gelee, and probably more that I cant remember).

    The stuff came in. I did a peel, and it was fine. 4 days later I tried another peel and put all of these creams together in hope that they would heal me right, and left it overnight. I woke up, scrubbed my face to get these things off and noticed that I had zits again. These zits though where huge, really inflamed ones. I don’t even know how to describe them. They are really deep in my skin, so how could it be clogged pores. Wouldn’t a cream clog a pore on the surface? I don’t know. I’m really confused. I also had an enema the night before. Could it be that the enema angered the bacteria in my intestines and planted acne on my face? Arrrg.

    So this happened on.. Thursday. Oh I also went to the Panda Garden and had a Chinese buffet of really gross sugary foods. Afterwards, I got really tired and even depressed. I think it even made my acne more inflamed. Friday I came home to my parent’s house. Saturday was my birthday. I turned 22 and I had the worse day of my life. All I did was hang out with my family and ate ice cream and brownies. My friend Katie was working that day so I didn’t really have a reason to leave my house.

    At night, I washed my face. BTW I wear make up on my zits even though I’m a male. After washing it my face looked really red and gross. Zits pulsing. I noticed that one red inflamed spot had three white heads. What the hell? I began to cry. My family didn’t seem to notice, but I wanted them to see. I feel really embarrassed about this part, but I was so hopeless, I felt I needed help. I thought about ways to die. I didn’t want to commit suicide because that would cause pain to my family. But really I just wanted to die. I started thinking of ways that I could end it, like a car accident or drounning. Oh by the way, its not that I wanted to die because of acne. The acne gave me a panic attack and I felt so low and so scared, I didn’t know what to do. If something as silly ad acne could make me feel so bad, there was no reason for me to live. I was damaged, inadequate as a human being, broken. Anyways, that’s what my mind was telling me.

    My mom didn’t understand what was happening to me. In my family, you are not allowed to have problems. You just suck it up and be a man. So my mom told me I was making her angry and threatened me with committing me to a mental hospital. Threatened. That's right. Threatened. If someone commits me, I would think it would be to help me. Sort of like a gift, not a punishment for being mentally ill. That pissed me off.

    I called my friend Katie. She was out of work by then. I told her I was afraid to be borderline suicidal and that my mom threatened me with... you know. She came over right away and we had a cigarette. ­­­ Katie thought that if I really wanted to, she would drive me to the hospital. I didn’t think it was necessary. I knew I was having a panic attack that would go away.

    God, I don’t even want to keep writing as I feel like the panic never left. That happened last night, and although I’m not planning ways to die, I don’t really want to do anything. I have class tomorrow and I have to leave my parents house for my apartment. I don’t think ill be able to make it to class. Im more scared than ever.

    Lately I've been skipping classes. I’ll get up on time and all, and stand by the door. Thought rush trough my mind so fast that I don’t even know where to begin to calm myself down. I get scared and freeze, or play dead like a possum. Then I curl in to a ball and go back to sleep.

    There is something incredibly wrong with me, and I’m sick of friends and family telling me I'm fine. I am not. Did you hear? I repeat. I am not fine, and there is something wrong with me. I need help. :wall:

    wow freaking long

  11. So Ive gone through, Benzoyl Peroxide, non aproved internet only bought creams. Ive had fraxel, and mild lactic acid chemical peels. Im also trying emu oil, and snail secretion on my face. The thing is that I get really hot in the face and dont know if its because my skin is irritated or if i have an illnes, food allergy or unbalanced hormones. I also heard it could be anxiety. Anyways, I think I could rule out irritation only because my ears get really hot to. A woman at work told me it sounded like a hot flash... Im male. Could I still get hot flashes?

    any feedback?

  12. I jsut had my last fraxel treatment 3 weeks ago. When you get fraxeled, you are not allowed to touch the face, since it's so sensitive. Well, I want to exfoliate or do a light peel. So for anyone who has had a TCA peel: How harsh will it be on my skin? I bought an oz of 12.5% and dont really know what to expect.