

Siddhartha N
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This is a reminder to myself: starting tomorrow I will be taking one of each herbal supplement (chasteberry, neem, liver kidney) instead of rotating them throughout the week I will take them everyday. My shit needs to get back aligned. I'm seriously depressed right now from my SKIN! Like how pathetic but seriously not having confidence is really got me fucked up in the head. I haven't gone out in months and months and months. If I don't have to go somewhere, I don't. I cannot wait for the confidence to come back when my skin stops purging daily and I'm not thinking about my skin 24 fucking 7.
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I took the day off work today. It will be a low carb low calorie day. Have not done one of these in a long time. Carb cycling you know? As soon as I get out of bed I will be spending a few hours in the sun!!! And then meal prepping some stuff for the next few days. It's almost 10:30am. I was so tired.
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Wow. It really makes me depressed looking at photos of myself.
Does anyone else ever feel like that?
Just like. Beat down, no self esteem, "worthless" feeling.
Because my skin, my largest organ, is constantly purging itself of toxins.
I have an unhealthy immune system.
I have been trying so hard for the past six months.
But I guess when you have diseases that you don't know about, and you continue doing harmful things to your body [that are OK for other "normal people"] it just takes a long time to get back to our new "normal".
Don't worry about me, I'm keeping my head up.
xoxo
P.S: I love love love this quote by E.E Cummings:
We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.-
Hey there...I haven't taken any pics of my face for a while cause I don't wanna see it! My hairdresser took one of my hairstyle but I said not my face. I went on a weekend trip and I felt shitty cause I was broken out and I only let my boyfriend take a pic of my necklace. I'm getting better but only cause I'm on meds...I hate the feeling of being dependant on pills or creams or antibiotics. Hell I can barely function without my allergy med but it causes really shitty side effects.
It seems so random and unfair that some of us are simply born healthy and some have lots of issues. I totally feel you about feeling abnormal around healthy people. A lot of my family thought I exaggerate or am a hypochondriac but I can't have fun and drink vwine ( migraines) or eat cheese ( itchy spots) or go on outdoor events ( horrible allergies).
I like e e Cummings host whist poem. Hang in there.
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