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jwalk last won the day on June 4 2017

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About jwalk

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  1. I think this is what I was getting at. There's a difference between not caring and pretending not to care. There's nothing wrong with pretending and I agree with the "fake it til you make it" philosophy, but you should really call a spade a spade. You haven't stopped caring, you're pretending not to care in order to live your life in the way you want to live it. That's absolutely fine. To be honest I think everyone in the world knows that its primarily down to your fears, doubts and insec
  2. This isn't true. A lot of people have had great success with scarring treatments. Are you sure about this? Because two sentences later you wrote... ... which suggests that you actually do care about your scars, otherwise you wouldn't feel insecure about them. Do you mean that you pretended not to care? Are you there yet? Or are you still insecure about your scars? If you're not there yet and you are still insecure, how do you know that there will come a time when you truly
  3. I don’t think there are any generic comebacks that you can really use. I suppose you could mock their appearance or intelligence, but that would only really work if they looked worse or are stupider than you. You do kinda lose the moral high ground if you stoop to their level, if that means anything to you. You also make it abundantly clear that what they are saying is bothering you, which may encourage them further. (I’m convinced that I avoided a lot of bullying at school because t
  4. Not directly, but you are implying it. It may be true that such thoughts are unworthy or mistaken, but calling them pathetic seems somewhat inflammatory. I completely agree that if you act depressed, insecure and anxious, people will probably find you unattractive. My suggestion to anyone would be to try not to act that way. We can all control how we act on the outside, but that doesn't mean we can control how we feel inside. I really disagree that a person's insecurities should be dismisse
  5. I agree with this. This isn't a choice - its an objective. You can make the choice to work towards that goal, but that does not mean you will achieve the goal or will achieve it the same way that someone else has. In the meantime you can either choose to express your true feelings or repress them. You can't really mean both, they are different concepts. This is where I really disagree with you and is the reason that I pulled you up on your original comment. You seem to be under th
  6. This statement seems contradictory to me. If "people" aren't so bad, then why do we need to hide our insecurities from them? Its usually from fear of ridicule or rejection. In my experience people, especially young people, can be unusually cruel and callous when it suits them. Case in point - you've referred to people with insecurities as being pathetic, which I would deem to be unnecessarily cruel. When you say "feelings" do you actually mean the way you feel or the way you behave? You don't
  7. I think its more a positive attitude rather than a positive "mind". Your can't really control your mind, but you can control your attitude. That's assuming they are "whining" in real life. A lot of people use this forum to vent their frustrations anonymously. They say and admit things that they never would in a real conversation. Its also a little sad that we seem to be living in a culture that's moving towards being open and honest about our feelings, then when someone does admit their
  8. Minimising your spare time is the only way to embrace solitude. Find a cheap and constructive hobby that doesn't involve uncreative escapism into fictional worlds (reading novels, watching tv, playing games etc). I'm new to hobbies, I didn't have any when I was young, but I've got a couple now that keep me amused and more importantly keep my mind from wandering into dark places. If you can't find anything that interests you, you could throw yourself into your work (assuming you do work). Do lo
  9. I’ve no idea, but the point is neither do you. It could be his personality, it could be his peers, it could be his culture, it could be his location, etc.
  10. I never said that he did. It was a direct response to one of your comments. You asked "why the heck would they care" - I was pointing out that a lot of people seem to care what other people look like and often take offence at what they see. I suggested that it might be because some people are bullies, or just mean, or just shallow. I agree with you, but if you read my posts this isn't what I was disputing. I was criticising your implication that the OP's misfortune was down to his persona
  11. That's entirely different from what you said in your first post. In it you suggested that his actual personality was to blame for his situation. Lack of courage may be the issue, but implying that someone is a coward and therefore deserves their fate is bordering on victim blaming. Like I said, you're assuming that he has easy access to more potential friends. You've been fortunate enough to find good people, not everybody is that lucky. It took me a very long time to meet people like th
  12. Or the OP isn't as lucky as you are to have such a good support network. Count your blessings by all means, but don't be so narrow minded and assume that others are in the same situation as you and your friends. I don't think its fair to blame his suffering on a lack of personality - unless you happen to know him personally of course. Nor is it fair to suggest he can pick and choose who he's forced to interact with in life. Not everyone has access to a bunch of good friends that have NEVER comme
  13. There are two aspects to “youth”. One is an ill defined age that seems to vary between individuals and cultures. The other is more a state of mind that usually includes optimism, enthusiasm, a willingness to seek out new people and experiences etc. Unfortunately in a lot of cases acne robs you of that state of mind, so you never really get to have that youthful time in your life. I tried to force myself to do the things I was “supposed” to be doing when I was young, but if I’m honest I didn’t en
  14. Only the people who say it. They get an instant hit of self-satisfaction.
  15. I've had therapy twice, both times were pretty bad experiences. The first one asked me what I would do if I could do anything with my life. I gave the honest answer, that I didn't know, and she became frustrated and accused me of not trying hard enough. The second one just seemed disinterested in what I was saying. If I had unlimited funds I would probably keep trying on the off chance it might work, but I'm not hopeful. From what I can tell you need the right therapist to get anywhere with it,