Hello, I'm so sorry to hear what you go through.Let me start off by saying your perfect the way you are and you never have to change the way you look for someone else.
With that being said if you want to improve your self esteem I recommend the following:
1) Make an appointment with a doctor. See a dermatologist. Get their opinion. And try and high percentage of retin A.
2) Glycolic acid peel NOT lotions. A peel of 40 to 50% is where you'll see tremendous improvement. Read the directions! Do