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tdot

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About tdot

  • Rank
    Meow
  • Birthday 10/05/1985

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Calgary
  • Interests
    Health, art, fashion, photography, music, my dog Penny.

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  1. Hey, I am glad your better now:) So you use baking soda or powder for your hair shampoo? I never tried that. Does it help with dandruff? I have severe dandruff. I haven't found a shampoo that is good for my scalp and hair. I was thinking of making my own.. I was wondering why you put those oils under your eyes? any particular reason? I might actually try the lemon juice cleanser! I want to go natural and drop my current cleanser. Oooh hahah the oils are totally a girly thing... or an anti-aging thing I guess.... to prevent wrinkles. The skin around the eyes is so thin, I just like to give it a bit more moisture. I am not sure if the baking soda helps with dandruff. I did read something about using baking soda as shampoo and then using an apple cider vinegar rinse as conditioner to help with dandruff. You could try that!! Trust me the lemon juice is amazing!! I've treid liek every natural cleanser out there and this beats all of them by a long shot! Just make sure you remember that you need to dilute it to your skin's "taste"... My skin may be more sensitive than yours so you minght be able to use more lemon juice... or the other way around... it depends on how your skin reacts to it. I cant use it twice a day because it's too irritating, and I just find I dont ned to moisturize if I dont wash my face in the morning with it (just water).
  2. tdot

    Excuses....

    OMG I LOVE the anti-aging one.... I've got to use that. I used to have SO many issues with explaining to people why I eat the way I do. Over the years however I've gotten more confident, and I've also gained a few friends who are celiac and eat a lot like I do. It's nice to go out with them and not be the only one asking for the "special meal" at the restaurant. I also find if I'm VERY polite and I just tell people "oh man, that was SO nice of you to offer to make me dinner, but I have to warn you I have a lot of sensitivities to food and I dont want to inconvenience you." Usally they reply very politely and offer to make whatever you can eat. I bring my food everywhere too... if I'm going to a dinner party where I know I wont be able to eat the food, I call the host and politely tell them that I may bring my own food because I dont want to put them out becuase of my sensitivities. They are usually totally understanding about it. If someone gets in face about food and they are being relaly insulting, I usually just tell them "you are really lucky to be able to tolerate the food that you eat, because I just cant, and I'm sorry if you feel insulted by the way I eat... but I am not insulted by the way you eat.. so why all the fuss??"
  3. OMG that sucks!! Sorry to hear that ... I had similar experiences with other hormonal supplements that I tried. Yes I think you kind of have to "diagnose" what your homrone problem is before you take anythin. I needed help balancing both estrogen and progestrone so that's why I took both Evening Primrose and Vitex. I find if I miss a does of VItex I start to breakout around my mouth and jawline. If I ever get pregnant... it will be interesting to see what will happen with my skin... because I'll have to quit taking the hormone balancing supplements hhahha.... ugh.
  4. Very great post and alot of useful information but hey what did you take for the colon cleanse? Hahaha OMG that was SO many years ago. I forget what the company was called, I ordered the colon cleansing kit online and I followed a strict diet. I remember having to go number 2 A LOT lol. I think it was called Colonics or something like that. I also did parasite cleanses.... they make you feel weird too. But I like to do a parasite cleanse once a year, just in case haha! I forgot to add in my list of supplements that I take: -Evening Primrose -Vitex -Calcium -Vit D3 -B-100 -Vit C -Zinc -Resveratol -Probiotics -Digestive enzymes with my meals -Coconut oil with meals Things I take when I feel I need them: -Once in a while I take L-Glutamine, helps with building your immune system and help repair tissues. -If I get really sick with a cold or flu (which doesnt happen too often) I take oregano oil, that stuff is AMAZING, it kills anything haha. I got strep throat a few years ago and my doctor told me that if I didnt get on a course of antibiotics I wouldnt do so well and the infection could spread. Id idnt want to be on conventional antibiotics though, so I decided to take oregano oil.... it worked better and fater than the conventional antibiotics.... awesome stuff!! -L-theanine, it's kind of a mood enhancer it helps me if I'm stressed or anxious.
  5. I haven't been on here in SOOOOO long, but I've been a member since 2005... I wanted to come back and tell a short version of my story and where I am now. I feel like I will will help a lot of people save time and money trying to find natural things that actually work. I started off using Dan's regimen with the BP, but I suffered with very dry skin and it actually damaged my skin, I started getting wrinkles at the age of 19 (I'm 26 now). I know the regimen works for some people and I dont want to put it down, I'm just saying that the BP just did not react well with my skin. So I started freaking out and stopped using the BP and started looking into natural treatments. It probably took about a year after I stopped using BP for my skin to feel even slightly normal. I started dieting and I tried to switch over to natural face treatments but nothing seemed to work! So I just went with SpectroJel face wash and Complex 15 face cream... because it was simple and didnt make me break out. As for my diet I tried EVERYTHING and when I say everything I really do mean it. First I quit dairy then gluten. I started eating organic and cut down on my sugar. I did the vitamin B5 thing... that was AWFUL I was on it for about a year.... It made me feel weird and gave me funny side effects, overdosing on vitamins is NOT the answer. I was suffering a lot because I was freaking out about EVERYTHING I was eating, is this going to make me break out??? I lost A LOT of weight which I couldnt afford to lose. I was reading too much as well... too much information coming at me and I couldnt decide what was best for me. I needed to calm down, but I just felt like I didnt KNOW anything. I tried colon cleansing, whole body detox, apple cider vinegar, heavy metal detoxing... blah blah blah. Finally things started to settle down, I had decided on a gluten free, dairy free, low glycemic diet. And I think all of my cleansing was starting to make me feel great. It worked quite well for my skin for a while. Then I decided I wanted to go ALL natural and quit my birth control pill. My body went through a terrible time trying to adjust and I discovered I had candida problem... I also started to break out like crazy again. I started on a supplement regimen of vitex and evening primrose oil, which helped to balance my hormones. I then discovered a site called Healing Naturally by Bee. She gives you information on how to get rid of candida. I went on her diet and got TERRIBLE detoxing reactions. I broke out like crazy and my stomach was out of wack all the time. I was on it very striclty for four months. I kind of fell off the wagon after that but I still stuck with a very LOW carb diet... and pretty much NO sugar. The only sugar I eat is from veggies that may have some in them. And I even keep my higher sugar veggies low. So this is where I'm at now... LOW sugar (I mean not even fruit, once in a while I eat a grapefruit or blue berries but that's it), dairy free (except butter) and gluten free. I eat mostly organic and I only use coconut oil to cook with and Olive oil for salads. I dont eat processed food and I try to soak my grains when I do eat them, I actually cheat sometimes and buy sprouted quinoa . This diet is great for people who suffer with candida and who have acne. My acne is NOT 100% gone, I dont know if it will ever be but it's MUCH better than when I started all of this. I honestly think my body is still getting healthy, it's still healing. Sometimes I feel like I got acne for a reason though, it has turned me into a very healthy person. I FEEL so much better. Becoming acne free is NOT going to happen in a short time...it's a process, you body needs to heal. I have leaned to be patient through this experience. Another part of my journey was a mission to find natural skin/person produtcs that work. I had HELL of a time wasting money and time on products that dont work. Here is a list of natural affordable (most of the time haha) products I use on my body that WORK: -Face wash: LEMON JUICE!!! Most simple thing ever!! I buy Santa Crus Organic unsweetened lemon juice, dilute it with water to my comfort level and use a cotton pad to cleanse my face. I let it sit while I brush my teeth and wash it off afterwards. I use the undiluted to spot treat zits... AWESOME STUFF!!! Best face wash EVER and CHEAP. I CAN'T say enough about how great this is, it is amazing and it feels so clean and fresh. I gets rid of dark spots, scars, exfoliates and kills bacteria all at the same time. I tried to use ACV but I like lemon juice better. -Face cream: I DONT USE ANY. If I use the lemon juice just at night and DO NOT wash my face in the morning except rinse with water a few times... I find I dont need face cream. BUT I have to be keeping up on getting my coconut oil intake (I take spoonfuls of coconut oil with meals). The coconut oil moisturizes me from the inside out. My face is a little dry in the morning but after that it balances out. If I need a little moisture... jojoba oil. - Eye makeup remover: Jojoba oil - Mascara/eyeliner: Anything by Lavera Organics. For waterproof I use Tarte brand. - Foundation/concealer: Mix your favourite mineral makeup with jojoba oil and use as a liquid foundation or just use as is. - Blush: Any mineral blush that doesnt contain all the nasty stuff (bismuth oxychloride...etc...), try to find something as simple as possible. - Deodorant: I use Dr. Mist... IT ACTUALLY WORKS! I mix in my fave essential oil for yummy smell and I'm good. If I'm feeling super poor I just use baking soda, it really works as well. - Shampoo: Baking soda... LOVE IT. I just massage the powder into my hair, feels weird but it's great. - Conditioner: I usually use Dessert Essence Green Apple, it's great. - Toothpaste: I use anything by Jason that doesnt have flouride. - Body cream: Coconut oil, olive oil.... when I want something that smells nice: Dessert Essence Coconut Hand and Body Lotion YUM!! - Leave in hair moisturizer treatment: Olive oil, coconut oil, jojoba oil. - Under eye cream, Emu oil or jojoba oil. Just use VERY LITTLE or it gets in your eyes haha. That's about it folks!!! In conclusinon.... the best advice I can give is STOP STRESSING. Stress is terrible, it's so unhealthy. If you cant stop stressing, try a supplement called L-Theanine it calms me down . Do your research and try to find what works best FOR YOU, but dont over do it. Anyway, I hope this helps some people . This place helped me a lot when I was going through some terrible times. Good luck to you all, you are all beautiful inside and out and you deserve to be happy, REMEMBER THAT! Tdot
  6. tdot

    TARTE MAKEUP

    I love Tarte :). I use their mascara, wonderful product. I had been looking for a natural mascara that didnt burn my eyes and they were it! I love their products, I have never tried the foundation though, sounds interesting! I love all natural so I may have to go buy this stuff.
  7. tdot

    Alternate cooking oils

    I cook with coconut oil or butter or grapeseed oil.... I try not to cook with grapeseed oil but my boyfriend loves it. I also found that taking spoonfuls of coconut oil with meals moisturized my skin from the inside, dont need much moisturizer. Might change in the winter though.
  8. tdot

    Can't do this anymore

    Good to know... yes I think getting therapy may be the key... or possibly just trying to slow my lif down a little. I have to figure out how to learn to not be stressed lol... seems impossible. LOL thinking about not thinking about acne! Ahhh! So bad! Yeah I thought there was no connection too. But I started to see that my friend broke out during stressful times and I thought wow... stress takes a tole on the skin!! Thank-you for the compliment so sweet of you. im glad something i wrote had some positive effect on you. depending on when and in what context your boyfriend uses the phrase "its all in your head", and the meaning you ascribe to this phrase, it could be a good thing or a bad thing. if he claims your emotional reality is " all in your head" implying that it doesnt exist, and therefore your observations and reactions about the world are totally invalid/untrue or he may mean they are insignificant to him, that is unhealthy and bordering on psychological abuse. and this is the whole concept of dogmatic thinking when it applies to emotional subjective phenomena, SOMETIMES our perceptions can be dramatically inaccurate about the world and our emotional reactions towards these situations then may be invalid, but unless you are mentally retarded, it is more then unlikely the case, but you still need ways to confirm the existence of these things within yourself and avoid falling for the "its all in your head" arguments from people that are potentially used to somehow manipulate you into something they would otherwise prefer. another phrase someone may say to you is, "nothing is as it seems" or is as bad as it seems or as good as it seems, and sometimes even as extreme as "nothing is anything" and nothing is indistinguishable from anything else. if you are easily persuaded, and put alot of trust in someone else to lead you, they may be able to break you down mentally with these arguments leading you unable to make decisions for yourself and make you feel crazy. you will eventually lose trust in your ability to make decisions on your own to some or a great degree, unless you find ways to test your ability to discern the existence of things and your own ability to discern the differing properties between internal emotional phenomena, as well as external physical phenomena. once you prove these to yourself by way of proper and logical questioning, you may slowly build your confidence back up to where you can make confident decisions on your own behalf, about simple things like whether or not you like something or not, whether or not it gives you pleasure, to even a bit more objective things like whether someone is rude or dangerous or kind and good. perhaps you have doubted your ability so far as that objective concrete objects you cannot even discern for yourself and you constantly have to ask other people for confirmation, and if it is always the same people, this appearance of "confirmation" may be precisely how they brainwash you into believing what they want you to believe. either expand your circle of people you seek to "confirm" your own observations and beliefs, or become completely independant of anyone else to deciding what is real and what is true, with no need to confirm with anyone else,to avoid potentially giving them an opportunity to control what you think, believe,and do(physical acts). a simple way to counter arguments people use to get you to illogically and needlessly doubt yourself (thereby controlling you), while they provide no real additional good evidence to counter your proposition as a possible fact or state of reality, you can apply the duck test, or the idea that, as far as the extensive information you have gathered on your own good observations(giving the most weight to your own information gathering efforts), you will conclude at least for now that X is the case. or if it looks like a duck walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. although occasionally you know that anyone could be wrong about anything, but we must make decisions based on teh information we have available to us. consider the situation where a bear may be running at you at full speed, i suppose you could apply doubt to the hypothesis that it is coming to kill you, by saying that its just coincidental it is running directly towards you, that doesnt MEAN its coming to kill you, or perhaps its coming to play or wants to be petted. to doubt things SOOO much, is a detriment to your survival, because how can you protect yourself when you can never make decisions based "how things seem to you" at that moment. the same thing could be applied to anything in life where you are applying too much doubt to things and situations where it may put you in dangerous situations. HA, whatif you need to "confirm" these facts with someone else, and could not make the decision on your own to say damn it looks like that bear is coming for me, i had better get out of the way!! if you cannot even establish that the bear might be coming to kill you, on your own, there would be a problem there right? im going a little of topic here, but the topic is, what is a controlling relationship, and are you or are you not in one. and is it causing you the stress that may contribute to a health problem? I certainly have no idea, but to some extent lots of people impose their will and desires upon us , but its when their agendas become hidden and not straight forward, and at the expense of someone elses well being that its now a controlling/manipulative relationship. im not sure this is the case between the dynamics of you and your boyfriend though, i just felt like writing about my opinions on the dynamics of controlling relationshisps, but maybe he does observe your emotional reactions and has seen a correlation with breakouts, then the other case is also, perhaps the places you are going really do cause you a significant amount of stress independant of your acne, but the acne that appears only adds to a certain stressor that had already existed, before the stressor manifested itself as acne. mind you, this "spiritual" philosophy of disease is coming from a previously hardcore scientist, though not traditionally trained, but there are TRUCKLOADS of real evidence on the effects of stress on the body, for anyone to actually look at the body of evidence that exists would only logically make a transition to psychology/philosophy after seeing it all. an emotion is a physicial thing/event that certainly exists. this is alot of information im giving here i hope it is not confusing anyone, im trying to make it as organized as possible. the problem is i dont really know precisely what your head is like, there are only possibilitys and probabilitys which i can propose, and perhaps it will describe what is going on , or not . only you may be able to tell. Hah athat is a lot of information! Thank-you for takign the time to write it out. I do see what you mean about the boyfriend thing. I do have issues sometimes with him gettig upset about the food I eat and that stresses me out... but I dont think he's trying to control me by saying "it's all in yoru head". I'm am very stubborn and I usually refuse to let people make me chnage my mind about the way I feel or think about something. They have to have pretty damn good arguments. I think this may be part of the reason I have such a hard time letting go of the thought of myself having acne all the time. But yeah the fact that he hates the way I eat and his family thinks I'm odd for the way I live my life.... Well that stresses me out . we had a big fight one time and I told him that the easiest thing for me to do would be to break up with him! Then i wouldnt be so stressed all the time. When we go visit his family I feel like I'm going to go nuts because I have to cook my own food when I'm there and they dont lik ethat and think it's weird or rude to not eat what they are making. Ugh yeah it sucks. And yes my borufriend wants me to change and to be "normal"... but that's not me.... and never will be me.... I'm not normal. Haha yeah I get bad lower tummy pains whne I get nervous or stressed... blah! Sucks! And that's how I know I've got a break out coming up. Thanks for the advice so nice of you all.
  9. tdot

    Can't do this anymore

    have you considered psychotherapy? have you ever tried seeing how far you could get acne OFF your mind? even IF you are breaking out? this is merely an hypothesis, but by the very nature of the mind, being very aware of your acne and the possible social anxiety scenarios that you keep in your mind, could just add to having anxiety and stress, which could be the very cause of acne itself. how you percieve your acne and its meaning to your own survival, could be triggering more anxiety, therefore, causing more acne. the cycle is like this, you dont do the things you want to do socially because of your acne and the anxiety that comes with it due to your beliefs about acne, but, you still have the desire to do those things, which if you had done them, may have lowered some part of your anxiety a bit, fulfilling partially the desire to be with friends or whatever desire you have that requires social interaction to fulfill. so if you had chosen not to go due to the belief/fear/expectation that you would only be super concious about your acne and not had fun or had just been weird, then you may have avoided a potential fear of being wired of r not having fun, but STILL have not fulfilled the other desire to go out and be with friends or whatever, likely adding to your dissattisfaction and stress, which theoretically would keep your acne going, if stress is a major contributer to acne. BUT, if you had decided to go and do your best to keep acne off your mind while their and try to have just a little fun, then perhaps you could go home knowing that you faced a small fear of yours and chipped away at its power all but slightly, and you had fullfilled your desire of going out, even though you may have had a hard time that first time controlling the thoughts/fears about your acne, im willing to bet that you may have been better of just going even only for a little bit, to lower your overall stress levels. and if you were to keep doing that, despite your acne, you stress levels would decline overall as well as your acne. so it is your own reasoning that may be unhealthy. the cure, is the precise thing that acne makes you avoid doing. Another possibility- the very psychological environment you are in is the real cause of stress, which had been the initial start of acne. no longer do we live in jungles where the terrain we must navigate for survival is devoid of human contact, our so called "advanced" civilization now consists of social norms and our minds are trying to adjust to peoples expectations and judgements and whatever else, just to get what we need to survive. perhaps the people you surround yourself with are not the right people for you, but you are afraid to admit it, even just for guilt or even dogmatic thinking. for example, someone just said something to you that made feel uncomfortable, but you brush it off as if something is wrong with YOU, not the other person and you tell yourself you "shouldnt" feel that way about that. that is an example of dogmatic thinking and denial of emotional events where you are telling the inner world how it SHOULD work, therefore perpetuating these emotional events by denying the reality that they exist, which in turn contributes to CHRONIC STRESS. you think that all emotional content are directly connected to the will, as if there is a happiness or satisfaction switch inside you which is not exactly the way it works. emotions/moods do not work on that level of concious control, there is a protocol for sure, a set of actions that are required, that do not include wishful thinking or simply wishing it to be so. its hard to see that we are animals in an environement trying to survive because we somehow believe we different then animals, but we are not, we are always striving for saftey security and acceptance and evaluating these factors in every moment of the day. real authentic happiness will only be realized through the confines and limits of reality, just as much as someones imagination of a computing device must have been "successful", well, was the idea of a computer successful due to the acceptance of an objective reality? absolutly. ive been working with these psychological concepts for some time now, as i see that diet is only a small part of health. understandning the psychological and emotional world and coming up with a specific method/philosophy to deal with these things has become my primary focus. At one time i wanted to be the Issac newton of the subjective world,haha. where objectivity had dominated the hard sciences leading to mathematics and our superb engineering feats, the soul and subjective world was without any similar equivalent. maybe im just some luny, or maybe this will help me or someone else someday. Wow great post .... that was so helpful. Honestly my boyfriend has been telling me for years that he thinks it's all in my head and that I get too stressed out about things... I blow it up and then it festers as acne. This is what he believes anyway haha.... he's seen me try everything under the sun and he's been telling me to just relax and try and actually enjoy life. SOund slike you have the same kind of advice Auto . When I read your post I just wanted to cry, people on this site are so helpful and wonderful, dont know hwta I would have done without you guys all these years. Hahahah *tear..... But see this is my train of thought most of the time.... here's an example of how I was last week: MOnday: OMG there's a wedding that I have to go to this weekend... I dont want to have a breakout for this wedding, I want to look decent. DONT THINK ABOUT ACNE DONT THINK ABOUT ACNE..... aaannnnddd then I think about acne. Tuesday: Stressed to the max.... Thought about acne all day Monday... also stressed about my job and my busy week ahead. DONT THINK ABOUT ACNE! Wednesday: Thought about acne all day Tuesday and discovered a new HUGE underground pimple... FREAK OUT! STRESSED OUT!! My heart pounds like crazy all day, all I want to do is sleep. Thursday: Discover another HUGE painful pimple brewing on my chin.... FREAK OUT!! STRESS OUT!! Almost cry. I excercise to try and shake off the stress. By now, everytime I think about the wedding my heart starts to pound and my hands shake. Friday: Still stressed, I fly out to go to the wedding tomorrow. Pretty stressed on the plane ride there. Saturday: Day of the wedding.... wake up and get ready, my hands are shaking as I put my make up on... all I can think of is "what is the point in wearing a pretty dress whne my face looks like this?" Get to the wedding.... so annoyed with my stresseful week... I end up drinking 8 vonda waters.... oh my. Another example: Saw my ex-boyofriend at a party a month ago I honestly though tI was going to colapse... I started shaking and I felt like my arms were going to fall off. I think I almost did faint... I felt dizzy and crazy at the same time. I dont think I could ever have a wedding! Can you imagine if that was MY WEDDING?? I'd feel like that for months!!! AHHHH!!! Hahahaha OMG I have a problem......... Wow yes I'm jealous of your clear skin and how it only took a year... lucky you!! CONGRATS . Hmmm moving for my skin! That sounds stressful in itself lol.... But I get what you mean. When I moved from my mom's house to my own.... I got really clear for about a year. but then I started having other health issues, and I got depressed and went off the BCP and started to break out like crazy again., it was a bad time. I've been at the same company for almost 7 years now... but I've chnaged positions and jobs within the company a few times, which was a good change. I'm really going to try and manage my stress... I think that's the key.... and maybe even buying a new place with my boyfriend would be a good change.... but that probably wouldnt happen for a year or two. I think I need to slow my life down a little, and do some stress managment... look some stuff up... I dunno. Thanks for your advice very helpful!
  10. Wow.... well if you have been here for a while you probably know me... I've posted lots of stuff in this section. And I've been trying to clear my acne with diet for the past 5 years.... I'm sooooooooooooo tired... today I feel sad and ugly and defeated. 5 long years of dieting, cleanses (4 months on a hard core candida cleanse and lots of others), gluten intolerance testing (colonoscopies.... blood tests... the works), cutting food out, bringing it back in.... Excercises, yoga, naturopathis doctors, supplements, fasting. OMG I swear I've tried everything natural you could possibly try... and yes I gave them plenty of time to work. I'm just so..... tired.... that's sthe only way I can really put it. I really dont know for sure WHY I break out.... I thought I knew after 5 years but obviously I don't. I feel like giving up an crawling into a hole. I feel bad for my boyfriend, putting him through all this stuff... only to end up with a girlfriend who still has a scarred up face and acne. Dont know why he even stays with me, I'm grumpy bout my skin alll the time.. and I'm not willing to go out and do things when I have a break out... I'm not fun or exciting becaus eof my acne... I'm stresse dout all the time.... I'm no catch right now that's for sure. Can I just crawl into a hole and hide? Sooooooooooo tired... sooooooooo tired. Anyway... sorry... just venting really.... Maybe I should just go on Accutane?
  11. tdot

    Types of alcohol worse than others?

    I drank for the first time in like two years on Saturday night, all I had was Grey Goose Vodka and water with a lime squeezed in it. I LOVE GREY GOOSE. Friggen expensive but it was so good.... I still felt like death the next day but I'm sure it's because I hadnt drank in years lol....But yeah who knows what it will do to my skin. We'll see I guess... in a week's time what my skin does. But yeah I dont think I'd dare try red wine.... last time I drank it I feel like it gave me a candida infection.... BLAH. My skin is SH!T right now... anyway. I have almost given up on even trying anymore.... I've been trying to clear my skin with diet for 5 years now and I usually get very close and my skin stays pretty clear for a few months and then BAM!!! Breakout city and I dont even change my diet!! I dont get it..... I'm so tired of it alll..... this is what drive me to drink on Saturday.... just didnt give a crap anymore...
  12. Hah I'm glad you have the attitude of a clear skinned person, that's the right one to have . First off, I feel the EXACT same way. I don't physically hide from people though, I am just usually very timid and I'm sure they can sense the insecurty behind it. My acne is ruining every bit of happiness, every good aspect of my life. I can't enjoy the Ups like the average person would. I feel like I have a mental disorder sometimes. Actually, I know I sort of borderline OCD and when you said "It's like I'm not allowed to be happy, the second I show a little bit of happiness... acne rears it's ugly effing head"...I was like WOW, that's exactly how I feel. The thoughts that you have that maybe your acne is karma, I have the same ones. And I also feel like maybe I don't deserve to be happy. Acne consumes so much of my thoughts that if I didn't have it to think about, I don't know what my mind would have to fixate upon. My OCD is very much more to do with internal thoughts than external actions like touching or counting. I am so sick of thinking aout acne all the time! I know that there are people out there suffering so much more with debilitating illnesses and such and that makes me feel so selfish and ungrateful that I am capable of going out and doing things and living life and yet a lot of the time I just feel like staying cooped up in the house, dreaming about the day that my skin will be clear. Sorry if this was a bit of a mess to read, I know I sort of jumped around the topics a bit. Acne just makes me crazy! GRRR! I feel the exact same way you do... I feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself because of how much other people in the world are suffereing... like who am I to be upset about acne when there are children starving??? Yeah..... ugh. However I did just read a book called Little Bee and it's all about people trying to be happy in different ways... Whether we live in a poor village in Africa or in Beverly Hills we still have the right to be happy, but we also need to learn about creating happiness not only for ourselves but the people around us... helping people makes me happy . I hope you can find your happiness. Thank-you . I appreciate your opinion. I think I do need to get some help.... Adn I'll try to pay more attention to the things that I actually like about myself haha. I just have to stop comparing myself to those perfect girls with bronze clear skin and have the bodies and hair of godesses. BLah... hahahaha. PS: I'm addicted to music too . Yeah I have found in the last year I have started to care less about crazy regimens with washing my face... I kind of just go with the flow when it comes to that. But I am still crazy about what I eat... worrying eating something will make me break out. I'm 25... been dealing with acne for 6 years too... seems like I've had it my whole life though... thinking my life back in the day without acne... well it doesn't even seem like that was me... doesnt seem real. I hope your scars get better. Take zinc and vit c and e... and lots of good fats, they help my scarring.
  13. Sorry for the horrible spelling! I was typing really fast! I'm just at work hahah! Sorry!
  14. My regimen now is very minimal, I stopped using too many things on my skin. I now use an ACV rinse as a face wash and I use Thayers organic moisturizing toner in the day time as a moisturizer and at night I use nothing. It's very minimal... my skin seems like like me better for it hahah. Glad your skin isnt freakin out anymore . HAHA.... yeeeeahhhh that was at a "clear" point in my acne life. I maybe had like two or three zits at that time and I had lots of red spots but makeup really hides that!! My skin is weird it's ALLL ove rthe place.... Clear then huge break out! BLAH! Hahaha yeah thank-you for the sugggestion, bu tI just cant bring myself to put that in my body. I've done lot sof researchon it and I know how it effects the body in bad ways... not so keen on that when I've worked so hard to heal my gut and get rid of candda. Yeah I gotta stop planning my life around my damn skin! Drives me nuts thinking about it! I've got to stop stressing about it.... I think that's one of the biggest things. Glad you're clearing up! Haha I felt like that last night, I was gonna post a thread about it but I thought people would think I'm crazy. I was looking in the mirror thinking "Do I really want to be clear? Everybody I know, knows that I dont have amazing skin." It will sure be weird when it all goes away forever, maybe I'll sorta miss the ole' acne Hahaha! thta's what I do!! It freaks me out to think abotu being clear! But I want it SOOO bad... WTH??? Thank-you!! Thta's so nice.... makeup is wonderful . Yeah I've been to a alot of derms... doctors, naturopathic docs, homeopathic docs.... I'm not new to this. I wont go to a derm again. They dont believe that internal issues besides hormones can cause acne. Dairy makes me break out and the dermatoligist refused to believe me. That was the end of that!! I'm all natural, I dont put any chemicals on my face or in my body, I've had some horrific experiences because of it (BP caused some serious issues for my skin and I went through a long depression because of it). I've been through it ALLLLLL haha.... ugh. have you tried Spironolactone for hormonal acne? No, I dont want to take persciption drugs... I've tried so many and they ravaged my body... some people can handle it, my body just cant... Haha when I say everything I mean EVERYTHING... Mosty persciptions at the begining, then ove rthe counter stuff, then diet and supplements... Dont get me wrong, diet and supplements have helped SOOOO much, but I just cant seem to find the right "forumla" and it's relaly wearign me down trying to figure it out. I think I need to relax more. too mych stress.... and thining baout it stresses me out more. I want to learn to meditate.... I am also getting a message tomorrow... I think it's good to get pampered once in a while OMG!!! This describes the feeling perfectly!!! This is exactly what I mean!! WOW!! It' slike those people who have been in jail so long that when they get out they dont know how to be happy because they're been so tainted with jail life. Man I need therapy I think...... Thanks for all your advice everyone! Much appreciated.
  15. Yeah I've been to a alot of derms... doctors, naturopathic docs, homeopathic docs.... I'm not new to this. I wont go to a derm again. They dont believe that internal issues besides hormones can cause acne. Dairy makes me break out and the dermatoligist refused to believe me. That was the end of that!! I'm all natural, I dont put any chemicals on my face or in my body, I've had some horrific experiences because of it (BP caused some serious issues for my skin and I went through a long depression because of it). I've been through it ALLLLLL haha.... ugh.
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