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Picky Nicki

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About Picky Nicki

  • Birthday August 17

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    Nova Scotia
  • Interests
    Reading, singing, embroidering, and tiny meticulous tasks. I like being creative, and I like challenging myself.
  1. There really isn't too much to say. I picked a little bit on the 22nd, but it wasn't too bad, and I immediately put calomine lotion on my face and repeated that throughout the day. Today I want to peel the dry skin off my face soooooo badly, my fingers are itching to do it. But I can't and I won't because I start work again this evening, the first time in nine months. And I'm actually quite nervous, despite the fact that this is a job that I have been doing for almost two years. I will co
  2. I don't really need to prevent breakouts because unless the weather is really dry I don't really tend to break out. But usually I'll wash my face in the morning with Neutragena daily cleanser and moisturize with vaseline brand intensive skin repair, and repeat the process in the evening to take off make up and clean my face. As well, I have been adding a calomine lotion mask before bed. I was also on the Pill for a while however, I didn't find too much of a difference with my skin.
  3. Yesterday I drove to see my sister in Fredericton, and she was shocked to see my face. I was so stressed there that I picked a little bit at my nose. (I hate having red marks on the end of my nose and between my eyebrows, these bug me the most.) I ended up trusting my gut and driving home the same day. Ten hours in the car BLARGH! My legs and back are very sore today. When I got home I washed my face and put on a calomine mask. All I can this morning is .... I FUCKING LOVE CALOMINE!!!!
  4. I've been taking Cipralex (Citalopram) for around 8 years which helps tremendously with my depression. Its clinical depression rather than situational, and its helped with everything except my picking, so I'm looking forward to seeing the Psychiatrist, just have to wait for the referral to go through.
  5. Things always seem to look up when you have chocolate in your lap. SO! I did a shit ton of damage to my face last night, and I got yelled at by my parents today when I went to visit for easter. I knew that that was coming. I am trying new things to help reduce the redness and speed up healing: Calomine lotion Vaseline Intensive skin repair We'll see how those work, and I'll let you know if anything is magical and fast acting. There isn't anything terribly interesting to put today, my face
  6. I actually don't have acne. All the marks that you see there are self inflicted. Sad but true. I focus on the tiniest black/white heads that crop up occasionally and then I destroy them until I'm left with huge scabs. I am on birth control, and I have spoken to my doctor several times, its not like cystic acne or even acne at all. I am also allergic to entire -cillin family so thats a no go, and I REAAALLLY don't want to go on accutane because when I actually stop picking I have near flawless
  7. Sigh. I'm back. Again. I had a blog here before, however my picking has not gotten better, in fact, it has gotten worse, and now I have done so much damage to my face that it is starting scar. I fairly good skin, though I do get break outs from time to time, but that's not really the issue. It doesn't really matter what my skin is like because I will ATTACK it anyways. I have to say that it has definitely gotten worse since my accident in last august (2013). I cut my toes off with
  8. Hi Everyone, It has definitely been awhile since I have posted anything here. However, my absence is not due to traumatic experiences, or any difficult situations. Rather, it is due to the opposite. Since I began another year at university I have found myself faced with two mirrors within four feet of each other I know its over kill but they're attached to the walls and I don't have much say in them being there. Also, there is a boy. >/////< He has actually been a major pillar of su
  9. Picky Nicki

    Baby Steps

    Hey there, This will be quick because I am exhausted. So my skin is improving, the skin cleanser and shea butter (which I'm switching for something else for a trial run) has been really helping. I still pick ... BUT!! BUT! BUT! BUT! I have realised that cold turkey only adds to the stress! So, instead I've been working on reducing the amount of times I pick, the duration, and the amount of zits. And slowly, but surely, my picking has decreased and stayed in its reduced state, (minor increas
  10. Thank you so much for always being kind to me. I have scheduled an appointment within the next couples weeks and we'll see where that takes me. As well, I think I should take a look at some more "face-happy" make up options. My acne is mild, but I make it worse. And so the way to clear it up is to stop picking. I've been doing some research and I think that it might be connected to my current obsessive tendencies... I dunno, though. Maybe I should schedule a counselling session as well, to see
  11. Everything is in point form; I'm not done loathing myself. - got home looked into the mirror and LOST IT Can't explain it, just got into a head space and nothing I did could wrench me out of it FUCKED up my face. And cried, and cried, and cried, and cried, and cried. I disappointed everyone, including myself. I OBLITERATED any progress I made as well as my self-esteem toward body image I feel ugly, and so ashamed of myself. the elastic snapping no longer works and I have no idea how to make
  12. Picky Nicki

    Dusting Off

    oh!! Thanks!! I didn't know that. I'm not to keen on starting on drugs just because of the amount I take already. I'm trying by myself for now. Would 1% Hydrocortisone work? *hangs head* I know I should see a dermatologist but I can never seem to find the time
  13. Picky Nicki

    Dusting Off

    Hey everyone! It is *counts on fingers* day 11 of my journey and despite my little hiccup things have started off again well. Day 9 was VERY difficult, as my picking had all but reversed my small, but crucial progress. Starting again was much more difficult but necessary! My face is healing well, though I leaned heavily on my family with the appearance of a very deep, very large, and very painful zit on my upper cheekbone. Perhaps one of the largest I have ever had, it swelled rapidly and sat
  14. Picky Nicki


    Thank you both for your encouragement! I was more upset than usual by what I did, BUT (important) it: a) was no where near as bad as before and b) it motivated me to stop more because I saw how beautiful my skin can be if it is left to its own devices. And you are both very right about continuing despite the bumps. I have started again and rather than thinking of 8 days and then a mistake I think about starting fresh, not looking back. My family, especially my father, has been so incredibly
  15. Picky Nicki


    Bad day today, so I'll keep it brief. My bad day started at work... I felt sick to my stomach all day, even though it wasn't anything serious, just made a mistake. Came home and my sister was incredibly rude to me and then to my friend (who has self-esteem issues) and the thing fucking escalated into a cluster-fuck. SIGH. I broke my rules and I picked at my face. I feel like a huge fuck up and I just want to be left alone. Eight days, nothing. And then I fuck up. Today was just bad in general.